Handling Conflict in the Kingdom of God

Introduction: Some of the most popular TV shows in the past few years have been true crime documentaries which often deal with a murder and how it is solved.

Murder is one of those things that is almost universally believed to be wrong.

Every culture in the world seems to understand that there is something inherently evil with murder.

Which makes no sense if you believe that humans are just another part of the evolutionary process.

When a lion kills another lion in challenge for leader of the pride, we don’t really get upset about it. It’s just the circle of life.

When an animal kills another animal for food, that’s survival of the fittest.

But there is something about humans that we hold a sanctity of human life. I know you might through out examples where this is not the case. But even in the case of genocide and slavery, they only way those things were ok in a culture or a person’s mind was they had to make those people less than human. We have to dehumanize humans to equate them with nothing more than animals.

But when you read God’s Word from Genesis through Revelation, you can’t escape the fact that the Word of God forces us to accept that all humans come from the same set of parents. Adam and Eve and then more specifically Noah and his 3 sons.

Regardless of what you believe about the first few chapters of the Bible, one things is clear, the Bible is uniting all of humans as family. And therefore, we are all equal in value before.

Why is that?

Transition to the Text: Turn with me in your Bibles to Matthew 5:21-26. After a 2 month hiatus to celebrate the birth of Christ, we return to the sermon the mount.

So far we’ve talked about how the Sermon on the Mount is about the attitudes and expectations that make for life in the Kingdom of God. The sermon on the mount flipped the the kingdom upside down and showed that God cares more about character and attitude than he does power and influence.

And in the midst of this is a call to understand what God says in His word and what that means for us.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about believing alone, but how that belief in Jesus directs the way you live your life.

Today we turn our attention to what God has to say about murder, hatred, and conflict and reconciliation.

Now as we go through this, it might not be readily apparent how this passage connects.

It deals with Jesus raising the bar on the Law by equating hatred in your heart with murder. And then we get this radical call to reconcilation followed by a radical call to restitution when you know you are in the wrong.

To start we need to understand that these are the same idea. It’s about conflict resolution in the kingdom of heaven.

Introduce:

Big Idea: Kingdom CITIZENS deal with CONFLICT well.

Read: Matthew 5:21-26

Matthew 5:21–26 ESV

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. 26 Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

Big Idea: Kingdom CITIZENS deal with CONFLICT well.

1. KNOW what’s God’s Word MEANS. (Matthew 5:21-22)

Explanation: What Jesus is doing here is showing us the distinction between the letter of the law and the spirit of the law.

On the one hand, you have a clear command that states do not murder.

a direct quote from Exodus 20:13

Exodus 20:13 ESV

13 “You shall not murder.

Jesus is starting with what has already been said. Let me start by saying, the Old Testament uses different Hebrew words and makes a clear distinction between "murder" (unlawful, premeditated killing, ratsach) and "killing" (taking a life, which can be lawful like in war, self-defense, or capital punishment). The famous commandment is "You shall not murder" (ratsach), not just "kill," acknowledging that some killings (like execution or war) aren't considered murder, though all life is sacred and taking it is a serious act.

The distinction is important because the Bible is condemning murder as an act of unchecked anger and hatred.

But either way for many people they want to say, “ok I’ve never killed anyone murder or otherwise. So we say, I’m good.

And Jesus is like, “not so fast.” We need to understand why murder is so bad in God’s eyes. To understand that we need to go all the way back in Genesis 9:5-6

Genesis 9:5–6 ESV

5 And for your lifeblood I will require a reckoning: from every beast I will require it and from man. From his fellow man I will require a reckoning for the life of man. 6 “Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image.

After Noah came out of the Ark and it’s just him in His family left, we have the first institution by God of human government. This is the first time in the Bible where God establishes judicial punishment for the murder and he gives the reason why.

For God made man in his own image. That’s why murder is wrong.

Now think about what anger or hatred is… (I think that common sense tells us that we aren’t talking about having a fight with your spouse and being angry with them). We’re talking about anger that never goes away and has become entrenched in who we are. This is one of the reasons why the Bible in various places commands that if we are angry, we need to deal with it.

Ephesians 4:26 ESV

26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

Unchecked anger leads to hatred. Jesus is meaning that you are forgetting the image of God in that person. You might not like what a person does. You may not like what a person believes. My guess is that some of you really don’t like people who root for the Seahawks right now.

But anger and hatred is on a whole ‘nother level. It’s to look at that person and say, I hate them, is to say that their value, in my eyes, is based on what they do, say, believe, and who they are from a worldly point of view.

But at a minimum, you have to look at every single person and admit, regardless of religion, race, ethicity, nationality, or any other way that we choose to divide ourselves, we must acknowledge that every human being that has ever lived, is living now, or will be born tomorrow bears the image of God! And therefore they have value and deserve our love and compassion.

To murder a person bearing the image of God is an affront to God’s holiness. We get that. To hate a person bearing the image of God is also an affront to God’s holiness. And there may be people in your own life that you have sentenced to die without ever pulling the trigger.

This is the heart of the issue.

vs. 22 gives us 3 instructions.

Do not be angry with your brother.

Do not insult your brother.

Do not call your brother a “fool.”

The consequences escalate: judgement in general, liability to the council (or governing authorities) and finally, hell fire.

All this to say, how you think about and treat other image bearers is important to God. He cares about community.

Genesis 2:18 ESV

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Unchecked anger and murder hurts authentic community.

Which is why Jesus then goes right into an application on this which deals with reconciliation. And it’s going to come down to forgiveness.

Illustration: You see no one ever wakes up in the morning looking to murder someone. Murder doesn’t typically happen like that.

Murder happens as the result of a failure to know how to adequately deal with conflict in your life. How to communicate. How to reconcile. How to let things go.

The letter of the law is protected by the spirit of the law.

Where does murder begin? In your heart. Hatred.

And what Jesus is saying is that unchecked hatred leads to murder.

But what if they have other opinions than me? You cannot hate a person, even your enemies.

Application: “When filled out the sixth commandment speaks to settling conflicts , no matter the cost, so anger does not explode and lead to murder” (Varner, Matthew, 77).

We need to do whatever we can to maintain healthy relationships.

In a real sense, when we murder someone or hate them in our hearts, we are dehumanizing them. Because what makes us human is that we bear the image of God.

And so much of our world’s problems right now come down to not seeing other people as on our same level.

People who have a different religion are still made in the image of God and we share the Gospel out of love and compassion for them as lost. But they are still human.

Every single person on this planet regardless of their race ethnicity and skin color come from 1 family: The family of Noah. From Noah came 3 groups of people. Which actually science has confirmed this to be true.

It should never be trite to say, there is only one race, the human race because it helps to see that we are all the same in the eyes of God. We get the geopolitical issues that divide us, but that’s the result finding ourselves in a fallen world. But in God’s eyes we all part of the human race descended from Noah and descended from Adam.

You don’t get to dehumanize a person through hatred or murder.

2. Settle your CONFLICTS, no matter the COST. (Matthew 5:23-24)

Explanation: Before we get the examples that go with this idea, I want to make an observation. In both of these cases, Jesus puts the responsibility of reconciliation on us.

Romans 12:18 ESV

18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

This is so important because many of us want to pass the buck to the other person and say, “if they have a problem with me, let them come to me.” Jesus says, “nope, this is your responsibility.”

The first example in Matthew 5:23-24 deals with how the state of your relationships impacts your relationship with God.

Matthew 5:23–24 ESV

23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Now we need to realize how extreme this really was. Jesus was giving the sermon on the Mount in Galilee. The altar was in Jerusalem about 80 miles away or a 3 days journey. This man’s brother could have been in Galilee 6 days round trip. This is to illustrate the importance of this. Strife in your life will hinder your relationship with God.

Do you feel like God is distant and you are having a hard time having fellowship with Him in prayer and in the word?

How are your relationships?

Perhaps the clearest example of this related to husbands and their wives. Peter tells husbands that if they mistreat their wives, God will ignore them.

1 Peter 3:7 ESV

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

This is what Jesus is saying…Don’t think that you can be right with God if your relationships are falling apart.

Don’t think that a gift on the alter will be accepted if you aren’t following the other commands to love your neighbor as yourself.

Reconciliation is required.

But what if they don’t want to be reconciled? They have something against you.

Aren’t you powerless here?

Well to be fair, Jesus is going to get to that in Matthew 6:14-15

Matthew 6:14–15 ESV

14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

If you genuinely come seeking reconciliation for something that you have done, they are required to forgive you (in the same way that you are required to forgive others). If they don’t forgive you, that’s on them.

What’s on you is to seek reconciliation, especially when you know you are at fault.

It’s kind of weird to think about it this way, but in not seeking reconciliation you, you may be contributing to causing a person to sin by being angry with you.

But Pastor James if their the one with the problem shouldn’t they come to me.

Jesus is commanding you to control what you can control. You can’t control someone else, but you can control yourself.

Illustration: You may have heard the Prayer of Serenity: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Application: Conflict resolution and reconciliation is a complex issue and I don’t want to minimize it. Because the truth is some people may not be ready now or ever to be reconciled.

Depending on what you have done to another person, do not go show up at their door.

If you abused someone and want to follow this command, talk to someone like a pastor or a confidant. Completely and fully confess your sin and then seek council. You may do more harm than good.

Maybe a letter where you emphatically say, I was wrong and I’m sorry.

Which brings up something else, we as a society have gotten really bad at saying, “I’m sorry.”

You ever had someone apologize to you only for it to sound like “I’m sorry for what I did, but you deserved it.” or I’m sorry for what I did but if you didn’t do that one minor thing it wouldn’t have set me off.

Worst of all “I’m sorry you were offended or hurt” but not for what I did to offend or hurt you.

Don’t apologize until you are ready to own it and take accountability for it.

Practice genuine repentance to people and God.

3. Do WHATEVER it TAKES the make things RIGHT. (Matthew 5:25-26)

Explanation: Jesus goes on to address civil disputes.

Matthew 5:25–26 ESV

25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. 26 Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

The Court of Law is an essential part of a civilized society. But they are a last resort, especially for Christians. There is a reason that Paul says that it is shameful when Christians sue one another in court.

First we should be able to handle our business between one another without the need for courts.

Let’s let the Holy Spirit speak to us through Paul

1 Corinthians 6:1–8 ESV

1 When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? 2 Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! 4 So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? 5 I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, 6 but brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers? 7 To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? 8 But you yourselves wrong and defraud—even your own brothers!

This is how believers are to handle civil conflict among themselves.

To be fair, I don’t think we’re talking criminal court here. In that case, when you do the crime you gotta do the time. For that’s the purpose of government according to Scripture

Romans 13:1–7 ESV

1 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. 3 For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, 4 for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. 6 For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. 7 Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

What Jesus is talking about is making things right before the courts are necessary. Because realistically, justice is supposed to be blind and the judge and jury is supposed to be unbiased and should not show leniency to one not showed to another. No favoritism or preferential treatment. Blind justice is the biblical way.

So realistically, if you want mercy, it should be from your accuser. So Jesus tells us to make things right with them on your own. Figure out a way to rectify the situation before a judge is needed or involved.

We even see this practiced in courts today with plea deals and last minute agreements that negate a judges involvement.

Now again, we’re talking something that his your fault.

If you are not at fault and the person accusing you is wrong, you should have no fear of a judge. But at the same time make sure you are in the right. Even still you should plead your case before your accuser for their sake.

False accusations are so serious in the Bible that it’s part of the 10 commandments.

Exodus 20:16 ESV

16 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

But let’s look at the punishment for false accusations.

Deuteronomy 19:18–21 ESV

18 The judges shall inquire diligently, and if the witness is a false witness and has accused his brother falsely, 19 then you shall do to him as he had meant to do to his brother. So you shall purge the evil from your midst. 20 And the rest shall hear and fear, and shall never again commit any such evil among you. 21 Your eye shall not pity. It shall be life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.

That’s harsh but that is justice!

Illustration:

Application: All this to say, you are responsible handle conflict well in the Kingdom of Heaven. As it depends on your be at peace with everyone.

When you mess up, deal with it.

I’ll say this again, learn to say, I’m sorry.

“I’m sorry” goes a long way to rectifying a situations.

Humility.

Response: How are you dealing with CONFLICT in your LIFE?

Summation: Big Idea: Kingdom CITIZENS deal with CONFLICT well.

1. KNOW what’s God’s Word MEANS. (Matthew 5:21-22)

2. Settle your CONFLICTS, no matter the COST. (Matthew 5:23-24)

3. Do WHATEVER it TAKES the make things RIGHT. (Matthew 5:25-26)

Closing Illustration: We’ve talked a lot about our personal responsibility when we are in the wrong. Because that’s what this passage is about. Jesus is talking about personal responsibility and accountability.

Citizens of the Kingdom are characterized by repentance. They recognize that sin still plagues their lives. They still mess up. They will still hurt people.

The Kingdom is not about being perfect because none of us is perfect.

The expectation is not perfection in the sense of never doing anything wrong.

The expectation is that you deal with it. Be a grown up.

And none of this should surprise you. This is exactly how we are to approach God.

God has told us exactly what He expects from us.

Know His Word.

If you have unrepented sin in your life, confess it to God and deal with it.

Be ready to stand before the judge one day.

Make peace with God through Jesus before you stand before the judge. If you stand before the judgement seat of God apart from Christ, there will be no mercy.

Mercy is offered now through Christ,

Therefore, if you do not know Jesus, today would be a great day to make peace with God by admitting your sin and need for a savior. By believing God’s Word in what it says about how we are saved by faith in Christ’s sacrifice on the cross.

And then live a life pursuing holiness. Mess up, apologize. Keep reading God’s Word and applying it to your life.

The Bible is full of messed up people that can’t seem to get their act together. Even the Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11 is full of murderers, adulterers, thieves, liars, mess ups. Yet they are commended by their faith.

Give me a person who messes up a lot but is humble and owns up to it every time then a person that seems to have it all together and uses that as a reason they never have to be held accountable.

Let’s pray.