Partners in Purpose: God’s design for Husbands & Wives

Build Connection

I woke up this morning to something that pleased me very well, it was not something that surprised me, but I was very happy when I saw it this morning.

PUT ON HOODIE

The Seahawks not only won last night, they dominated with a 41-6 win over the 49ers.

Mike Macdonald said in an interview we are going to stick to the game-plan.

Their dominance was because the not only had a game plan, but they stuck to it.

Create Tension

There is an area of our lives that many people don’t get the full godly blessings out of it because they fail in one of these two aspects, the don’t have a game plan, or they don’t stick to it!

That area is our marriage.

Provide Solution

Illustration – The Architect’s Blueprint

When I worked in construction we used blueprints to build from. And there were times where the architect had an idea that worked on paper but not in practical application. If you want to build the house right, you have to build it not only according to the blueprints but the right blueprints

We all have some type of blueprints we build our marriages from what society says, what we have seen by our parents, what our peers do or say, our own desires. While we may find some fulfillment in these differing blueprints

To have the best and most fulfilling marriage possible we need to build it on God’s blueprint for marriage and be “Partners in Purpose!”

First let’s review some important facts about marriage!

Marriage is a covenant, not a contract!

A contract is based on performance a covenant is based on

A. Companionship

Genesis 2:18–24

“18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. 23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’ ” 24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”

B. Reflection

Ephesians 5:31–32

“31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.”

Does your marriage accurately reflect Christ and the Church?

C. Fruitfulness and mission

Genesis 1:27–28

“27 So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. 28 Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.””

It is important that the members of this covenant walk in unity in this covenant!

Amos 3:3

“3 Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?”

Illustration – Two Oars in a Boat

When two people are rowing in a boat they both have responsibility to work but the have to work together!

As I share the biblical responsibility of the husband and the wife I want all of you to refrain from judgement. It is easy for us to look at what our spouses are suppose to be doing and see some type of failure.

The Biblical Responsibility of the Husband

Love Sacrificially

Command

Ephesians 5:25–28

“25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.”

Attitude

Philippians 2:3–4

“3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

If this is how we are suppose to treat “others” in general, how much more are we suppose to treat our wives like this?

Illustration – The Tired Husband’s Choice

Husband comes home exhausted, wants the chair and remote.

Sees wife overwhelmed with kids and chores.

Sacrificial love chooses to serve rather than self‑comfort, reflecting Christ’s love.

Lead Spiritually

Role

Ephesians 5:26–27

He gave up his life for her…“26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.”

Men part of your responsibility is making your wife holy and clean through the cleansing of God’s Word!

Unfortunately too many of our families are spiritually led by wives instead of husbands.

Joshua 24:15

“15 But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.””

Men need to declare with their mouths and their lives that their family will serve the LORD!

Nature of leadership

1 Corinthians 11:3

“3 But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”

Leadership as servant initiative, not domination.

How can we as men expect to lead as the head if Christ is not first our head?

Illustration – Thermostat vs. Thermometer

A thermometer only reflects the temperature; a thermostat sets it.

A husband is called to set the spiritual climate of the home by going first in prayer, repentance, and obedience.

Provide and Protect Consistently

Provision

1 Timothy 5:8

“8 But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.”

Proverbs 27:23

“23 Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds,”

Protection

Modeling God as protector and refuge (Psalm 91:1–2).

Illustration – The Umbrella in a Storm

An umbrella does not stop the rain but shields from it.

A husband cannot prevent every storm, but he can stand as a covering—spiritually, emotionally, and practically in the midst of the storm.

Honor Her

Honor as co‑heir

1 Peter 3:7

“7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”

The Greek word asthenēs (“weaker”) generally refers to physical weakness, not moral, spiritual, or intellectual inferiority.

Most scholars agree Peter is referring primarily to:

Physical strength differences (average male/female strength in the ancient world)

Social vulnerability in a first-century Greco-Roman context, where women had fewer legal rights and protections

Proverbs 31:28–29

“Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!””

– Her husband praises her.

Speech and attitude

Colossians 4:6

“Let your conversation be gracious and attractive* so that you will have the right response for everyone.”

– Gracious speech.

Illustration – Fragile Package: “Handle With Care”

A package that is valuable is handled differently.

Husbands are to handle their wives’ hearts carefully, honoring them as precious in God’s sight.

The Biblical Responsibility of the Wife

A. Support Respectfully

Command

Ephesians 5:22

“For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”

Ephesians 5:33

“So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Colossians 3:18

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.”

Power of respect

Respect strengthens her husband’s God‑given leadership and confidence.

Illustration – The Coach’s Voice

Player on the field with a coach on the sideline.

Constant criticism versus encouraging, truthful instruction.

A wife’s voice can either build or break

Proverbs 14:1

“A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”

B. Live in Godly Character

Inner beauty

1 Peter 3:1–4

“In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

– Gentle and quiet spirit, precious in God’s sight.

Proverbs 31:25–26 – Strength, dignity, wisdom, and kindness.

Witness

1 Peter 3:1

“In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over”

– Win husbands “without a word” by conduct.

Illustration – The Hidden Fragrance

A small bottle of perfume can fill a whole room.

A wife’s godly character is like a fragrance of Christ in the home

2 Corinthians 2:15

“Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are being saved and by those who are perishing.”

Be a Helpmate

Design

Genesis 2:18 – “A helper fit for him.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”

– Two are better than one.

Complementary roles

1 Corinthians 12:18–21 – Different members, one body; each necessary.

Illustration – The Missing Puzzle Piece

A nearly finished puzzle missing one important piece.

Without that piece, the picture is incomplete.

God designed the wife’s gifts and presence as essential, not optional.

D. Reflect Christ’s Church

Model

Ephesians 5:22–24 – As the Church submits to Christ, so wives to husbands.

Balance with mutual submission

Ephesians 5:21 – “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Illustration – The Dancing Couple

In a dance, one leads and one follows.

When both try to lead or neither leads, there is confusion; when the roles are embraced, there is beauty and flow.

Unity Through Mutual Love and Respect

A. The Cycle of Blessing

When husbands love and wives respect, a healthy cycle is formed (Ephesians 5:33).

Love and respect feed each other and promote harmony (Colossians 3:14–15).

Illustration – Two Mirrors Facing Each Other

Each mirror reflects what it receives.

When love is reflected with respect, and respect with love, it multiplies.

When bitterness is reflected, that too multiplies (Galatians 6:7–8; Luke 6:31).

B. The Threefold Cord

Ecclesiastes 4:12 – “A threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

Husband, wife, and Christ intertwined form a strong union.

Illustration – three leg stand

One strand breaks easily; two are stronger; three braided together are very hard to break.

Christ is the essential third strand.

VI. The Power of Christ in Marriage

Dependence on Christ

John 15:5 – “Apart from Me you can do nothing.”

Galatians 5:22–23 – The fruit of the Spirit is what marriage needs: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc.

Illustration – The Dead Phone and the Charger

A beautiful phone is useless with a dead battery.

Once plugged into the charger, it does what it was made to do.

Marriages must stay “plugged in” to Christ to live out their calling.

Hope for Broken Marriages

Psalm 127:1 – “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.”

Joel 2:25 – God can restore “the years that the locust has eaten.”

Philippians 4:13 – Strength through Christ to change.

Illustration – The Renovated House

A run‑down house slowly restored: new roof, repaired foundation, fresh paint.

People thought it should be torn down, but patient work made it beautiful.

In the same way, Christ can renovate even deeply damaged marriages when husband and wife return to His design.

Encourage Change

Who's blueprint are using to build your Marriage?

As this message has been shared, what has God been saying to you about how you need to step up to the call?