Fathering

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We exist to help people who are far from God, draw near to Him. We do that by emphasizing - prayer, worship, ministry and healing.

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Bible Wrapping Party for Mom Hugs Jan. 25th After Service

Youth Bible Study - Jan 27th 6 pm 12-18

Not-So Newlywed Game Feb. 6th. - Be sure to register

Sanctity Of Life Sunday - Read “House of Refuge” Statement

THE HOUSE OF REFUGE STATEMENT

Our Church is a House of Refuge. This applies to everyone in this church and people you know who may be experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and needs a place of Refuge.

Here’s what we believe:

Every child, no matter how they are conceived, is an image bearer of God, knit together in the womb by Him. Please know that being pregnant is not a sin, and the child you carry is not a punishment. Regardless of the circumstances, we want you to know that you and your child are loved, and we are here to support you.

While we will never encourage or support the decision to have an abortion, it is important for you to know how our church will respond to those facing an unplanned pregnancy.

Here’s what we won’t do:

This church family will not gossip about you, shame you, or abandon you. This is a House of Refuge. We will not allow the family of God to harm others with words or actions contrary to the love of God as revealed in His Word.

Here’s what we will do:

We will walk with you every step of the way, helping you carry and care for your child both before and after birth. There are people in this church ready to mentor you, throw you a baby shower, and connect you with resources inside and outside of our church. We will also encourage men to become loving fathers who protect women and children.

If you are considering placing your child for adoption, please know that we will be here to encourage and support you as you make this loving decision.

If anyone in this church feels led to be involved in foster care or adoption, we will walk with you and provide resources and community to help you answer this call to care for children in need of a Family.

Finally, if you had an abortion or been involved in an abortion, we want you to know that abortion is not an unforgivable sin. Proverbs 28:13 says, “Whoever confesses and forsakes their sin finds mercy.” If you have never gone through an abortion recovery Bible study, we will be happy to connect you to one so that you can walk in complete healing and freedom

Introduction

Faith - Expressed in Sacrifice and Self-Denial

Enlargement - Moving From Obscurity To Influence

Fathering - Imparting Values Without Requiring Conformity

Main Text

Acts 15:1 NIV

Certain people came down from Judea to Antioch and were teaching the believers: “Unless you are circumcised, according to the custom taught by Moses, you cannot be saved.”

Acts 15:5–21 NIV

…Then some of the believers who belonged to the party of the Pharisees stood up and said, “The Gentiles must be circumcised and required to keep the law of Moses.” The apostles and elders met to consider this question. After much discussion, Peter got up and addressed them: “Brothers, you know that some time ago God made a choice among you that the Gentiles might hear from my lips the message of the gospel and believe. God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as he did to us. He did not discriminate between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith. Now then, why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of Gentiles a yoke that neither we nor our ancestors have been able to bear? No! We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are.” The whole assembly became silent as they listened to Barnabas and Paul telling about the signs and wonders God had done among the Gentiles through them. When they finished, James spoke up. “Brothers,” he said, “listen to me. Simon has described to us how God first intervened to choose a people for his name from the Gentiles. The words of the prophets are in agreement with this, as it is written: “ ‘After this I will return and rebuild David’s fallen tent. Its ruins I will rebuild, and I will restore it, that the rest of mankind may seek the Lord, even all the Gentiles who bear my name, says the Lord, who does these things’— things known from long ago. “It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God. Instead we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood. For the law of Moses has been preached in every city from the earliest times and is read in the synagogues on every Sabbath.”

Context: I read most of this passage today in order to give you the context of what is going on. I’m not going to pick this passage apart, but I want to illustrate a few things from this passage, because they show us how to impart values without requiring conformity, which is the essence of fathering.

My Family - When it comes to me being a father, my job is not to create “little Brian’s”, exact replicas of the greatness that is me. My job is to impart godly values to them, while simultaneously allowing for them to be themselves. Now the truth in this is, they are going to be somewhat like me at the end of the day, for better or for worse, so long as I allow them the freedom to choose that. Parenting is much more about imparting core values through our actions and language than it is commanding them to do exactly as I do.

This is the Father heart of God. He does this in our lives as well. He imparts his heart to us while at the same time giving us grace when we don’t live up to his standard and allowing for diversity in expression.

In this passage, disagreements often arise in the church over how the Bible should be applied to our lives. They are not often over the wording itself or a verse itself. The biggest disagreements come from the interpretations of the text, not the text. This means we are all reading the same things, but we are coming to different conclusions.

Closed Handed Issues and Open Handed Issues. If you’ve been in this church for a while, you’ve likely heard me you this terminology a lot. I’m a big proponent of making the main thing, the main thing and holding onto secondary things loosely.

An Open Handed Issue is a belief or theological idea that is open. It’s not something we hold onto tightly. It’s something everyone in this church can disagree on and we should treat each other with love and respect.

For instance, if you don’t believe in a post-millennial view of the end times or if you don’t believe supernatural healing is for today, that’s ok. You are welcome here. I would say you are wrong, but you are welcome to come and fellowship and debate me on the topic.

A Close Handed Issue is a belief or theological idea that is settled and firm. It’s not something we can debate. These are issues of significant importance relating to salvation and life.

For instance, if you don’t believe that Jesus died on a cross for the forgiveness of sins, you might be a nice person, but you are not a Christian and that is not something we will debate in this church.

So let’s look at the first point I want to make today:

Fathering Is Leading With Grace

In this passage we don’t see an individual act of fathering, but a corporate one. Individual acts of Fathering are found throughout the Scriptures.

Paul and Barnabas both fathered younger men. We might call it discipleship, but Paul’s words to Timothy give us an indication that the relationship was deeper than what we might mean by that. They poured into these young men and loved them in such a way that it was closer to a Father/Son type of relationship.

2 Timothy 1:2 NIV

To Timothy, my dear son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.

Paul calls Timothy his beloved son. This is the heading of his second letter to Timothy. He writes to him as a father writing to a son, encouraging him, loving him, supporting him and instructing him.

Paul also treats others in this way - Silas, John Mark, Luke and so on. Paul loved his companions and co-workers in the gospel in such a way that he saw them as his own children. The Apostle John did the same, calling his disciples and co-workers “my little children” in his letters.

Corporate Acts Of Fathering Are Also Found throughout Scripture, in particular Scripture highlights how God himself Fathers the children of Israel and now the church.

God doesn’t require conformity - Individual tribes relate to God in unique ways - The Levites were unique to the Lord; the North Kingdom is treated differently than the Southern one. All throughout Scripture we see God imparting values to individuals while encouraging their diversity. As Paul would say, we are all one body, but the Spirit expresses himself in a diversity of ways.

To put it another way, God didn’t create us as robots, he created us as his children.

In our passage, we see how the church handled Jewish and Gentile Believers and how the apostles Fathered this new generation of believers. Jews were steeped in all aspects of the law - the ceremonial, the dietary and the moral aspects. In this case, they have a choice to make. What should we require of new Gentile converts? Should Gentile Believers be circumcised and should they have to follow all of the law in order to be saved?

Peter gets up and he shares his experiences from earlier in Acts (about 10 years prior), where God clearly invites Gentiles (Cornelius and his family) into His kingdom through Peter and He gives them the gift of the Holy Spirit without requiring them to look or act Jewish in order to receive Him.

Peter rightly tells us that the law was given as a yoke and neither the Jews or the Gentiles have been able to live up to its strict standards (v10)

Peter then clearly proclaims salvation by grace to the assembly (v.11). He says hey, we are all saved by grace and if they are to be saved, it must be by grace as well, not by our works.

This leads me to my next point:

Outward Conformity Does Not Equal Inward Heart Change

Peter and the apostles here understand something key, just because you circumcise someone’s foreskin doesn’t mean they’ve had a heart change. Or to paraphrase Jesus, just because you’ve cleaned the outside of the cup doesn’t mean the inside is clean.

In Church, We Often Accept Outward Signs Of Faith, Rather Than Inward Signs - Too often in church, we are quick to look at how someone presents themselves outwardly rather than looking to their hearts. This is how people who have no business in church leadership end up in that seat. They look the part, they speak the part, they don’t drink, cuss or chew and don’t chase girls that do, so therefore, we lift them up in our minds as a super-christian or a spiritual guru, when all they’ve done is clean the outside of the cup!

Now, Elijah and I are the primary dishwashers in our home. I will tell you this. You better wash the outside of the cup. That’s important, but what’s more important is that we get the inside because that is where the hot chocolate goes.

God sees past what we project.

This Is The Heart of Imparting Values Without Requiring Conformity. At our church, listen I want you to live in such a way that you are walking worthy of the gospel in which you have received. I want to impart the values that have been imparted to me. Where God has spoken and instilled values, that’s where my focus is. I’m not asking you to look like me and act like me, but I am asking you to follow me as I follow Christ.

Fathering is Leading with Grace. This Apostolic Council shapes the very future of the church. They could have responded heavy handed and missed Jesus.

They could have became legalistic like the Pharisees and tied anchors around everyone’s neck, but they didn’t. Remember, there are people in the church pushing for Gentiles to be circumcised. That’s the crux of the issue. But the Apostles understood the power of Grace to transform and renew us, so they leaned in and imparted that value to the early church and it’s still being passed down generation to generation through the church today.

Peter responds with grace. Paul and Barnabas recount their experiences while the whole church listens to all that God has done among them with the Gentiles.

Let’s look at the details of the verdict delivered by the council:

James says three important things here:

God Has Chosen The Gentiles And Called Them By His Name (v.14, 17).

We Should Not Make It Difficult For Gentiles Turning To God (v.19)

He Seeks To Impart Four Values To The Gentiles Without Requiring Conformity To The Law (v.20).

I want to look at how these affect Fathering:

Fathers Impart Identity

James Shows A Fathering Spirit By Imparting Identity. One of the main purposes in fatherhood is imparting identity into our children. Who are you and why are you here? These are values that children pick up from their parents.

James Uses Language For Israel And Applies It To Gentiles. Israel was chosen. Now God has chosen the Gentiles. This is an identity statement. We are chosen church. We are his chose people. He chose us. We are his family, his chosen children.

Identity Breeds Values. When we know our identity, it sets our value system. I’m a Christian, therefore these are the things that I value. Our identity determines what we value.

When we find our identity elsewhere, it shows in our values. If you are always at work and never have time for your family, guess what? We can see what you value and where you are getting your identity from all in one swoop.

Fathers Don’t Make It Difficult To Come To Jesus

The Apostle James clearly does not want to make it difficult for the lost people turning to Jesus. He says this clearly and emphatically. James may have heard Jesus’ words against the Pharisees who made it notoriously difficult for anyone to turn to God. James does not want to be guilty of that.

Matthew 23:13 ESV

“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in.

Fathers Know When To Make Things Easy

Fathers Know When To Make Things Challenging

The same Jesus who made things challenging for some, like the rich and the self-righteous also made it easy for the poor in spirit and the humble. Fathers know the difference.

Just a parenting tip, if you are always giving “tough love” maybe you need to switch it up. If you are always loosey goosey with the rules, maybe you need to tighten it up from time to time. In parenting, your kids will need some of each and each kid is different so there’s no one size fits all.

When It Comes To The Gospel, We Make Things Easy - Godly fathers want their children to come to the Lord. This is huge and churches would be wise to take notice to what James is saying here. We shouldn’t make it hard for people to come to Jesus. The bar should be extraordinarily low. The standard is grace. We give grace to everyone. You don’t have to clean yourself up first, you don’t need a reference. It doesn’t matter if you are rich, poor, male, female, old, young, good looking or ugly. Everyone can come.

Messy People Are Welcome Here. As Fathers, we know kids are messy. We know when unsaved people come to our church, they aren’t going to have it altogether. I was talking with a Pastor in New York this past week and he was talking about all of the potheads and drunks that have been coming to his church lately. Praise God! Listen, I want you to know, your messy friends and relatives are welcome here. Bring them. And if you don’t know any, find some messy friends.

Fathers Impart Values Without The Burdens

Here’s The Surprising Twist - Most of us know we are not under the law, so when we read this we are reading it with that knowledge in mind. The Apostle James, the leader of the early church, affirms we are saved by grace, not by works of the law by not contradicting Peter, Paul or Barnabas. Then proceeds to issue four value statements based in Old Testament law that Gentiles should obey.

Here’s what he says Gentiles should avoid:

Food Sacrificed To Idols (Exodus 34:15)

Sexual Immorality (Lev. 18:6-20)

Food That Has Been Strangled And Blood (Lev 17:13-14)

What’s he doing here? Isn’t he putting more law onto people. Not exactly. I put the verses here, but these are more than just ceremonial Old Covenant laws, these are moral and ethical issues.

What’s the moral issues here? First we need to note that all three of these items were common practices in the Gentile world during this time. In other words, they were normal and legal. Much like abortion today, it is normal and technically legal, yet you shouldn’t go get one.

The Moral Issues For Eating Food Sacrificed To Idols - Gentiles would often throw elaborate parties in an idol’s temple during this time. We are participating in the worship of those idols when we do this. Paul expands on this idea in 1 Cor 10:14-22.

Idols are nothing and idol food is nothing, but demons are at work where there are idols—and demons are not a figment of the imagination but are all too real. - Thomas Schreiner

The Moral Issue For Sexual Immorality - Fornication and all types of sexual immorality were common at that time. It was an accepted practice. It was so common, it infiltrated the church in Corinth (see 1 Cor 6:12-18).

The Moral Issue For Eating Foods Strangled And Their Blood - This isn’t just Old Covenant, this is originally part of the covenant God makes with Noah when he changes mankind's food restrictions. He allows them to eat meat after the flood so long as it was slaughtered and drained of blood. This was also a common practice during this time.

Acts 15:28–29 ESV

For it has seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay on you no greater burden than these requirements: that you abstain from what has been sacrificed to idols, and from blood, and from what has been strangled, and from sexual immorality. If you keep yourselves from these, you will do well. Farewell.”

If You Keep Yourselves From These, You Will Do Well - In the letter highlighting the church’s agreed upon judgment, James does not add a burden to these new converts, yet he imparts important values to them. He doesn’t want them to try and live under the heavy yoke of the law, yet he desires for them to live a life pleasing to God by avoiding immorality.

In other words, James is imparting values without requiring full conformity. He’s leading like a Father.

Bonus Point: Paul’s Immediate Application Of This Council

After all the talk of circumcision and how we are under grace and don’t need to be circumcised, Paul in Acts 16, has Timothy circumcised.

Paul, when it comes to salvation, tells the Church in Galatia that we are no longer under the law and if you think you need to be circumcised, you are believing a false gospel is now circumcising his newest companion. Why does he do it? It’s not so Timothy will be saved, it’s so Timothy will not make it hard for the Jews looking to turn to Jesus!

In other words, the gospel of grace overrides everything! Our goal, regardless of our preferences should be to see people come to Jesus! This is the DNA of a Disciple!

Decision

Live a life worthy of the gospel, so as not to cause others to stumble.

Learn to impart values to people without requiring them to look and act exactly like you.

Learn to love others with a Father’s heart.