Nicodemus - John 3

Passage: John 3:1–21 Big idea: Meeting Jesus doesn’t make you better — it gives you new life.

STRUCTURE (20 mins)

Intro: Why Nicodemus Came to Jesus (4 mins)

The Shock: You Must Be Born Again (6 mins)

The Explanation: New Life Comes from God (5 mins)

The Choice: Light or Darkness (3 mins)

Group Discussion (6 mins)

LIGHT or DARK – GAME

I’m a morning person ☀️ / I’m a night owl 🌙

I like my bedroom lights bright / dim or dark

I’d rather be outside / inside

I prefer summer / winter

I’d rather talk / listen

I like group games / quiet activities

I like attention / I prefer staying unnoticed

I like being known / keeping things private

I find it easy to ask for help / hard to ask for help

I’d rather say what I think / keep it to myself

I’m comfortable with people knowing the real me / I hide parts of myself

I’m okay with people challenging me / I’d rather avoid that

I’m quick to own mistakes / quick to explain them away

I find it easy to talk about faith / I find it awkward

I like asking big questions about God / I avoid them

I’d rather people know what I believe / not know

I’m comfortable being honest with God / I keep things from him

Interesting how many of us prefer hiding, quiet, or control. Tonight we’re meeting someone who comes to Jesus at night — and Jesus talks about light.

Pray

1. Why Nicodemus Came to Jesus (John 3:1–2)

John 3:1–2 NIVUK

Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council. He came to Jesus at night and said, ‘Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him.’

Nicodemus is one of the most impressive people in the Gospels.

He’s:

A Pharisee – extremely religious

A teacher of Israel – knows the Bible inside out

A leader – respected, admired, listened to

If anyone looked like they were already close to God, it was him.

And yet, something isn’t right.

He comes to Jesus at night.

In those days, night was used to sneak around without people noticing what you were up to so much.

No street lights, no busses and cars - you could go and see people you weren’t ment to see.

For Nicodemus, going at Night could mean:

He’s afraid of being seen

He’s unsure what he thinks

He doesn’t want his reputation damaged

And look what he says to Jesus: v2

New International Version: Anglicised Edition (2011) Chapter 3

Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him.’

If Nicodemus, as a religious teacher thinks Jesus is from God, why sneak to him at night?

Well becasue he knows the other teachers don’t think Jesus is a good man from God - they think he’s a liar and a fraud.

So Nicodemus is religious… but he’s also confuses. He’s Knowledgeable… but he’s not got life and God all worked out

He’s important, but he’s not confident.

And that’s why he comes to Jesus.

ONE key engagement question

“Why do you think someone who seems to have it all together might still come looking for Jesus?”

Transition line:

Nicodemus thinks he’s coming for a conversation - he wants to undertsand more. But Jesus turns it into a confrontation.

2. THE SHOCK – “You Must Be Born Again” (John 3:3-4)

John 3:3–4 NIVUK

Jesus replied, ‘Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.’ ‘How can someone be born when they are old?’ Nicodemus asked. ‘Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!’

Jesus clearly knows Nicodemus is looking for the truth about God.

Jesus knows he is looking for the Kingdom of God. - How can I be saevd, how can I be loved by God despite my sin.

And what Jesus says is shocking to Nicodemus - maybe to us as well.

Jesus doesn’t say:

“Try harder”

“Be more sincere”

“Clean up your mistakes”

He says:

“You need a completely new beginning.”

Being born again is not:

Improving your behaviour

Becoming more religious

Otherwise Jesus would have said - you need to grow more muscle.

It is:

Being given new life by God - nothing you can do - you have to be given life by God.

But Nicodemus asks a question that sounds silly:

“How can someone be born when they are old?”

But that’s the point — Jesus is saying something impossible.

ONE key engagement question

Ask them to turn to pairs or threes for 60–90 seconds:

“Why do you think this idea would be hard — or even annoying — for a religious person to hear?”

Bring back 2–3 answers.

Key line to land clearly:

Jesus says religion can’t give you life. Only God can.

3. THE EXPLANATION – New Life Comes from God (John 3:5–8)

John 3:5–8 NIVUK

Jesus answered, ‘Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, “You must be born again.” The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.’

Teaching

Jesus explains that this new life comes from the Spirit.

He uses the picture of the wind:

You can’t see it

You can’t control it

But you can see its effects

In other words:

You don’t cause the new birth. You receive it.

This is actually good news.

It means:

You don’t need to be clever enough

You don’t need to be good enough

You don’t need to have your life sorted

God gives new life as a gift.

Nicodemus is confused because his whole life has been about effort. Jesus is talking about grace.

ONE key engagement question

Ask the whole group:

“Why is it actually good news that being born again is something God does, not something we do?”

Less pressure

More hope

Room for people who mess up

Jesus has shown Nicodemus the problem, and the solution. Now he shows him the choice.

4. THE CHOICE – Light or Darkness (John 3:19–21)

John 3:19–21 NIVUK

This is the verdict: light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

Teaching

Jesus says people don’t reject him because they don’t understand.

They reject him because they prefer darkness.

Darkness is:

Hiding

Pretending

Staying in control

Light is:

Truth

Honesty

Letting Jesus see the real you

And here’s the key:

Jesus doesn’t bring light to embarrass us. He brings light to heal us.

His light shows us our sin and problems, so lots of people run and hide in the darkness.

What’s sad is they miss the point of Jesus bringing light to them.

He wants to take away our darkness, give us a new life.

But first we must simply admit we are in the dark.

We are sinners.

If nocodemus had come to Jesus and said - Jesus, I’m lost in the dark, please forgive me and give me new life.

Jesus would have done it.

But be literally comes at night in the dark - becasue he wants to keep hiding his sin.

What will you do as a Christian each doy - or a non-Christian?

Keep hidin ghtinsg in the dark - or bring your darkness to JEsus and his light.

Say sorry for your sin and follwo him in the light in stead.

Recieve - or enjoy the new life he give you?

5. GROUP DISCUSSION

What surprised you most about what Jesus says to Nicodemus?

What’s the difference between trying to be a ‘good person’ and being ‘born again’?

Which feels harder for people your age: being honest with Jesus, or trying to impress others? Why?

FINAL WRAP (30 seconds)

Bring everyone back and say:

Nicodemus came at night, with questions. Jesus didn’t push him away. He offered him new life.

And Jesus offers the same thing to us — not a better version of ourselves, but a brand-new start.

Prayer to close.