Costly Kindness

Welcome

Well, good morning, friends! Good to be with you again. If we haven’t met yet, my name is Dan and I serve here as the Teaching Pastor for Lifepoint | Worthington!

Real quick - if this is your first time here, let me reiterate what Jason just said. We’d love the chance to connect with you.

Maybe you’ve been here for a while and just have some questions about Lifepoint - or things that we’ve been talking about in some of these messages. I just want you to know I am always up for talking through any questions you might - whether it’s because I say something that’s not clear, confusing, or if you downright disagree with it.

I just think dialogue is so important for our own spiritual growth!

Introduction

Alright, let’s get going today. If you’ve got a bible with you, open up to Ruth chapter 4.

We are finishing our series 'Hand in Hand,' looking at how God works through ordinary people. And that’s the beauty of Ruth—it’s not about parting seas or clashing armies. It’s about life in the "Great Plains"—between dishes, laundry, and homework.

And in the middle of that normality, God shows up through a specific kind of kindness called Hesed.

Now, Hesed isn’t just holding a door open. It is relentless, loyal love.

In Chapter 1, we saw Relentless Kindness when Ruth refused to leave Naomi.

In Chapter 2, we saw Protective Kindness when Boaz covered Ruth in his field.

But today, in Chapter 4, we see the final, hardest aspect: Costly Kindness. Because real love is never convenient.

I'll pray for us and we'll get started.

PRAY

The Threshing Room Floor

Alright - let’s get started.

So we left the story with Boaz prayer over Ruth and chapter 2. But let me summarize a bit of what happens in chapter 3.

After their interaction, Ruth and Naomi figure out that Boaz is what they call a “Redeemer.”

We’re going to spend some more time on what that means in a moment, but for now, you can think of it as family member - not like immediately family, just think of someone in the same family tree.

And this is a big deal - because if there is a Redeemer, there is an opportunity for Ruth and Naomi to get out of the situation they’re currently in.

So they work up a bit of a plan - and when you read through the passage - the Author of the book is walking a fine line here - because it’s not written as a love story - but that’s just a part of what happens. She’s going to go over to Boaz and basically remind him of her situation - that she’s unmarried - that he’s unmarried and…you know…maybe something can happen. There’s a bit of a spark [is this enough for them to read between the lines?].

Boaz is down.

And I know we’re flying over this! But as you read chapter 3, the whole time you’re kind of pulling for Ruth and Boaz - it looks like a perfect match!

But - there’s a twist. Yes, he is a Redeemer, but there he’s not the only one. There’s another family member…and actually, he’s closer…and he’s got first rights [rephrase].

Kinsman Redeemer

Now, before we see how this plays out, we need to understand what this word "Redeemer" actually means. Because for us, in 2026, "Redeem" is a coupon word. We "redeem" points for a free coffee. It’s a transaction.

But for an Israelite, a 'Redeemer' (or Go-el) wasn't about coupons. It was a Survival word. In a world with no Social Security and no bankruptcy protection, the Redeemer was your safety net.

If you lost your land, went into debt, or lost your spouse, you fell out of society. The Redeemer was the family member with the resources and the duty to buy you back.

So, don't think of him as a rich uncle writing a check. Think of him as a Restorer. His job was to take someone whose life had fallen apart and reintegrate them back into the safety of the family.

To an Israelite, this concept went all the way back to the Exodus—when God looked at His enslaved people and said:

Exodus 6:6 ESV

6 ‘I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will deliver you from slavery to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great acts of judgment.

Now, with that in mind, let’s go back and look at Ruth 3 because I think what Ruth and Boaz are talking about will pop a little bit more.

Ruth 3:10–11 ESV

10 And he said, “May you be blessed by the Lord, my daughter. You have made this last kindness greater than the first in that you have not gone after young men, whether poor or rich. 11 And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you ask, for all my fellow townsmen know that you are a worthy woman.

So, do you see what Ruth is asking and what Boaz is considering?

In many ways, Boaz isn't just deciding whether to buy a field. In being redeemer, he would be mimicking God - and the story of His kindness in redeeming his people.

The Conflict (Chapter 4)But, as we said... there is a problem.

Keep reading in v. 12.

Ruth 3:12 ESV

12 And now it is true that I am a redeemer. Yet there is a redeemer nearer than I.

There is another man. A "Closer Kinsman." Someone who has the legal right to do this before Boaz does.

And so, Boaz says, "Wait here. I’m going to settle this."

Boaz’ Costly Kindness

That brings us to chapter 4. Boaz heads to the City Gate—the courtroom of the ancient world—to settle this.

And here, we come face to face with the real challenge of Hesed. We are about to see that kindness is easy to agree with in theory, but very hard to do when you see the actual price tag.

Look at verse 1:

Ruth 4:1 ESV

1 Now Boaz had gone up to the gate and sat down there. And behold, the redeemer, of whom Boaz had spoken, came by. So Boaz said, “Turn aside, friend; sit down here.” And he turned aside and sat down.

Something really interesting happens here with how the story is being told. Look closely at that word “friend.”

That’s the the nearer relative, the closer redeemer that Boaz was talking about. He’s the one who’s first in line to take on the responsibility to care for Ruth and Naomi - and as the Redeemer, he does not just have the opportunity but the duty to step in.

But the word for “friend” is a little tongue in cheek - it’s a phrase in Hebrew that basically means “Mr. So and So.” or “Mr. No Name.”

He’s just some guy who’s supposed to do something.

And in front of everyone, Boaz makes his pitch.

V. 3.

Ruth 4:3–4 ESV

3 Then he said to the redeemer, “Naomi, who has come back from the country of Moab, is selling the parcel of land that belonged to our relative Elimelech. 4 So I thought I would tell you of it and say, ‘Buy it in the presence of those sitting here and in the presence of the elders of my people.’ If you will redeem it, redeem it. But if you will not, tell me, that I may know, for there is no one besides you to redeem it, and I come after you.” And he said, “I will redeem it.”

And for Mr. “So and So,” this is actually a fantastic opportunity! He can buy this land back - it rounds out his inheritance, he can make a profit on what he does with the land. And he’s first in line to make the deal! If he wants it, it’s his.

So, of course he says, Yes!

And then Boaz gets to the fine print, saying, “Oh, by the way…v. 5:

Ruth 4:5 ESV

5 “The day you buy the field from the hand of Naomi, you also acquire Ruth the Moabite, the widow of the dead, in order to perpetuate the name of the dead in his inheritance.”

In other words: "If you take the asset, you have to take the liability. And if you have a son with Ruth? That son—and that land—will legally belong to HER first husband's line, not yours."

You pay for the land, but you lose the equity. And suddenly... the math stops working.

Look at verse 6.

Ruth 4:6 ESV

6 Then the redeemer said, “I cannot redeem it for myself, lest I impair my own inheritance. Take my right of redemption yourself, for I cannot redeem it.”

He says, “I’m out."

He’s looking at the spreadsheet; looking at his ROI. And by every metric, this is a terrible financial decision. He basically says, "If I do this, I will lose money. I will dilute my own estate. I will hurt my own children's inheritance to help this stranger."

And you see, the problem with Mr. So-and-So is not that he’s selfish. It’s not that he’s greedy. Honestly, the story of Ruth would be so much easier if it was.

PAUSE

The problem is... he’s right.

PAUSE

And we can villainize him all we want. We can call him cold-hearted, or say he missed the point.

But if we’re honest…it’s kinda hard to ignore that he’s actually being quite reasonable.

PAUSE

In fact, if Mr. So-and-So sat down with a financial advisor today, he’d tell him, 'Good job! You set a boundary. You protected your assets. You didn't make an emotional decision with your portfolio.'

And I think we need to sit here for a second.

And I want to be really careful here. I know many of you feel exactly like Mr. So-and-So. You probably aren’t trying to be greedy. You’re trying to be responsible. You are trying to make sure your kids have a future. You are carrying a heavy load, and it feels like love to protect what you have. And in a way, it is. God honors our stewardship.

But there is a very subtle danger.

You see, I think there is a thin line where 'Responsibility' crosses over into 'Self-Reliance.' There is a moment where we stop managing God's gifts and start terrifying ourselves into believing that we are the source of the gift. That is when the walls go up. That is when the hands close.

Because if we just view Mr. So-and-So as "greedy," we miss the point.

See, I don’t think he’s greedy. I think he’s afraid.

And honestly? His fear makes sense. If there is no God, and if there is no resurrection, then you are purely on your own. You have to be the "Redeemer" of your own life because no one else is coming to save you.

Henri Nouwen, a writer I love, once described this as living in the "House of Fear." He said:

"In this world... we are increasingly tempted to make fear our house, to live in the house of fear... [where] we are easily distracted by whatever promises immediate satisfaction."

Mr. So-and-So lives in the House of Fear. And in that house, there is never enough. You have to hoard. You have to protect. You have to build walls.

See, the problem isn't that Mr. So-and-So is bad at math. It’s that he believes he is an orphan. He doesn't know he has a Father.

And friends, this is where it hits us. Because even those of us who claim to follow Jesus... we often try to follow Him while staying inside the House of Fear. We claim to follow a Redeemer who ventured out into suffering, who embraced the cross, who died a public, humiliating death. But because we are still afraid—because we still feel like orphans—we try to sanitize Him. We convince ourselves that Jesus has a plan for us that avoids that same cost. We think, "Surely Jesus wants me to be safe. Surely Jesus blesses my common sense."But you see? That is the logic of the House of Fear talking, not the logic of the Kingdom. The House of Fear calculates risk. The Kingdom carries a cross. And when you live in the House of Fear, Kingdom logic looks like foolishness.

In the House of Fear, Common sense says: 'Cut inconvenient people out of your life to protect your peace.' But Kingdom logic says: 'Love your enemies.'

In the House of Fear, Common sense says: 'Don't get involved; it's messy and it will drain you.' Kingdom logic says: 'Bear one another's burdens.'

In the House of Fear, Common sense says: 'Protect your inheritance.' Kingdom logic says: 'Lay down your life.'

Common sense says: "Secure your future because it’s all up to you." Kingdom logic says: "You can give your future away because it’s already held by Him."

Do you see the tension? We become so good at calculating the cost (Fear) that we forget how to carry the cross (Love). And so, just like Mr. So-and-So, we conclude... It is Too Costly.

And this brings us to the definition of what we are talking about. The book of Ruth isn't a Hallmark story. It is a collision between "Commercial Wisdom" (Fear) and "Costly Kindness" (Hesed).

Mr. So-and-So operates on the logic of the Transaction: "Is this good for me?" Boaz operates on the logic of Hesed: "Is this necessary for her?"

See, we have to define this clearly: Hesed is not Hesed until it costs us something.

If it’s convenient, it’s politeness.

If it fits in your spare time, it’s a hobby.

If it comes out of your excess, it’s charity.

And I’m not knocking these these things! Those are all good things!

But Hesed…Costly Kindness…is when we are willing to "mar our own inheritance"—to take a hit to our wallet, our reputation, our calendar, our comfort—in order to restore someone else.

The Foolishness of the Cross

Now, I’m going to be honest with you. If you take this message out into the world on Monday morning... people will look at you like you are crazy. If you start making decisions based on Hesed rather than ROI, the "Mr. So-and-So's" of the world are going to tell you that you are being foolish.

And here is the thing: They are right. According to the logic of the world, the Gospel is foolish.

The Apostle Paul actually said exactly this. He wrote to the Corinthians:

1 Corinthians 1:18 ESV

18 For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

Think about it. We worship a King who conquered the world by dying. We follow a Lord who gained everything by giving it all away.

So, if your life makes perfect "commercial sense" to everyone around you... if no one ever looks at your generosity and says, "That’s too much"... then maybe we aren't following the Crucified King as closely as we think.

The Great Reversal (The Upside)

But here is the irony. And this is the promise I want you to hold onto. Look at what happened to these two men.

Mr. So-and-So protected his inheritance. He played it safe. He kept his money. But do you know what he lost? He lost his name. Literally—we don't know who he is! He faded into history as "Mr. No Name." He kept his assets, but he lost his legacy.

But Boaz? Boaz pays the cost. He marries Ruth. And in verse 13, we read that they have a son named Obed.

And at first, this just looks like a happy ending for a small family. Naomi, who started this book bitter and empty, is now holding a grandson. She is full.

But then, the narrator does something amazing. He zooms out. He fast-forwards history to show us what that little baby boy actually meant. Look at the very last words of the book in verse 22.

It says Obed became the father of Jesse, and Jesse became the father of... David.

King David.

And if you keep flipping your Bible all the way to the New Testament, to Matthew chapter 1, you will see Boaz's name again. Because from the line of David came Jesus. Because Boaz was willing to pay the cost, he became a father to the King of Kings.

Now, I want to pause here. Because if you’re a skeptic, or just a critical thinker, you might be thinking: "Wait a minute, Dan. You just told us NOT to look for a transaction. But then you showed us that Boaz got a huge payout in the end! Isn't that just a delayed ROI?"

That is a fair push. But we have to make a distinction here.

Boaz didn't get Success. He got Fruitfulness.

Success is something you can measure right now. It’s the money in the bank. It’s the land you own. It’s the reputation you build. Mr. So-and-So wanted success.

But Fruitfulness is different. Fruitfulness is often invisible to us. Boaz never saw Jesus. He died centuries before that genealogy was written. He didn't get a "payback" in his lifetime. He simply planted a seed of love, and God grew a forest long after he was gone.

Henri Nouwen put it this way in his book In the Name of Jesus:

"There is a great difference between successfulness and fruitfulness. Success comes from strength, control, and respectability... Fruits, however, come from weakness and vulnerability."

Mr. So-and-So chose Control. And he got safety. Boaz chose Vulnerability. And he got Fruitfulness.

The Gospel Integration: The Trap of Self-Saving

And friends, this is where the story turns into a mirror. Because if we are honest, we have so much in common Mr. So-and-So.

We are the ones trying to be responsible. We are the ones trying to secure our future, protect our "inheritance," and make smart decisions. We spend our whole lives trying to be our own Redeemer. We try to buy our own safety and secure our own legacy.

But look where it leads.

The irony of the story is that the man who tried to "save his life" ended up forgotten. The man who tried to be his own Redeemer couldn't actually buy a future.

The True Redeemer

And this is why we need Jesus. It’s not just that we need forgiveness (though we do). It’s that we need Freedom.

See, as long as you feel like you are the only one securing your future, you will always live like Mr. So-and-So. You will always be tight-fisted. You will always be calculating. You will always be afraid that if you give too much away, you won't have enough left for yourself.

You cannot live a life of Costly Kindness if you are terrified of the cost.

And that is why Jesus came. He came to pay the ultimate cost so that you wouldn't have to be afraid of it anymore. He "impaired His own inheritance" on the Cross—He gave up His life—to secure an eternal inheritance for you that can never be lost, spoiled, or fading.

And do you see what that does? It frees you. When you know your future is secured by the True Boaz, you stop obsessing over your own safety.

You become free to be generous, risky, and kind... because you know you have a Redeemer who has already covered the bill.

The Call to Faith

So today, the invitation is this: You can keep trying to be Mr. So-and-So. You can keep trying to protect your little kingdom and secure your own legacy. Or, you can trust the True Redeemer.

You can admit that you can't actually guarantee your own future, and you can place your life in the hands of the One who paid everything to secure it for you. That is what it means to be a Christian. It means firing yourself as the "Redeemer" of your own life and trusting Jesus to do it for you.

And second, for those of you who are followers of Jesus.

The question is simple: Does following Him actually cost you anything?

Look at your life. Look at your budget. Look at your schedule. Is there any mark of "Costly Kindness" on it? Or have you settled for the safety of Mr. So-and-So?

Don't buy the lie that the "Good Life" is the Safe Life. The Good Life is the Given Life. It is the life that looks foolish to the world, but looks like Jesus to the Father.

You have been loved with a Kindness that cost God everything. Don't let your response be cheap.

Let’s pray.