Partners in Purpose: God’s design for Wives

Build Connection

Last week we talked about the husbands responsibility, I want to highlight a couple things I said and address something I didn’t get to. Then we will get to the wives.

Create Tension

As I share the biblical responsibility of the husband and the wife I want all of you to refrain from judgement. It is easy for us to look at what our spouses are suppose to be doing and see some type of failure.

Provide Solution

The Biblical Responsibility of the Husband

Love Sacrificially

Illustration – The Tired Husband’s Choice

We are willing to sacrificially step in front of our wives if a bullet is being shot at them but

are we willing to do the dishes?

are we willing to take all the kids so she can have some personal time?

are we willing to react when she asks us to do something the first time she asks?

are we willing to not go golfing, hunting, hang out with the guys or even go to work because of her needs/desires?

are we willing to let her go on a mini vacation with the girls while we stay at home and take care of things?

Lead Spiritually

Illustration – Thermostat vs. Thermometer

A thermometer only reflects the temperature; a thermostat sets it.

A husband is called to set the spiritual climate of the home by going first in prayer, repentance, and obedience.

Provide and Protect Consistently

Illustration – The Umbrella in a Storm

An umbrella does not stop the rain but shields from it.

A husband cannot prevent every storm, but he can stand as a covering—spiritually, emotionally, and practically in the midst of the storm.

Honor Her

Honor as co‑heir

1 Peter 3:7

“7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”

The Greek word asthenēs (“weaker”) generally refers to physical weakness, not moral, spiritual, or intellectual inferiority.

Most scholars agree Peter is referring primarily to:

Physical strength differences (average male/female strength in the ancient world)

Social vulnerability in a first-century Greco-Roman context, where women had fewer legal rights and protections

Men are called to be the head of the family, but God designed women to be the heart of the family!

A head without a heart grows into a callous life and a heart without a head is easily lead astray!

A husband is to prize his wife for everything that she is and not despise her for anything she is not.

Illustration – Fragile Package: “Handle With Care”

A package that is valuable is handled differently.

Husbands are to handle their wives’ hearts carefully, honoring them as precious in God’s sight.

I saw a post a while back and a man was talking about his wife and said

“My wife if fragile, not fragile like a flower but fragile like a bomb.”

There is a perception men have of their wives and treat them like they perceive instead of treating them like they are.

Intrinsic value vs perceived value…

When it says in vs7 to give honor to your wives the greek word there for give is actually Pay…The idea is that your wife is valuable and the value deserves honor.

The honor you pay your wife is about who she is, not who you think she is!

Vs 7. Equal partner in God’s gift of new life…

When you see value in something you treat it differently, learn to see the value your wife has and this will instill honor.

Let me share some ways you can honor your wife:

Speak to her kindly

Don’t discuss her weaknesses with others

Show interest in her interests

let your children see her honor in your actions

highlight her special days

treat her as a partner not a servant

don’t compare her to others

give her immediate access to you

be accountable with your schedule

The Biblical Responsibility of the Wife

Respect Your Husband’s Position.

Ephesians 5:33

“So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Respect has a certain Power

When a wife shows respect to her husband it strengthens his God‑ordained leadership and confidence.

Illustration – The Coach’s Voice

Player on the field with a coach on the sideline.

Constant criticism versus encouraging, truthful instruction.

A wife’s voice can either build or break

Proverbs 14:1

“A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”

or with her own voice

How to show respect to your husband

Accept you married an imperfect man

understand he will make mistakes so don’t continually remind him of that!

Focus on what your husband does well

Speak well of your husband to others

Don’t tell him he wrong, but ask questions to show him the Bible instruction

Consider the three T’s of communication: Text-what you will say, Time-when you will say it, Tone-how you will say it

Highlight positive aspects of you husband to your children.

Submit and accept the authority of husband

Ephesians 5:22

“For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”

Colossians 3:18

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.”

Biblical submission is a response to biblical headship!

This is not if you then I will, it’s God said so I will!

1 Peter 2:13–3:4 “For the Lord’s sake, submit to all human authority—whether the king as head of state, or the officials he has appointed. For the king has sent them to punish those who do wrong and to honor those who do right. It is God’s will that your honorable lives should silence those ignorant people who make foolish accusations against you. For you are free, yet you are God’s slaves, so don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. Respect everyone, and love the family of believers.* Fear God, and respect the king. You who are slaves must submit to your masters with all respect.* Do what they tell you—not only if they are kind and reasonable, but even if they are cruel. For God is pleased when, conscious of his will, you patiently endure unjust treatment. Of course, you get no credit for being patient if you are beaten for doing wrong. But if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you. For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered* for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone.* He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed. Once you were like sheep who wandered away. But now you have turned to your Shepherd, the Guardian of your souls.

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.

You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

– Gentle and quiet spirit, precious in God’s sight.

Women let me ask you a very important question…

Do you share you emotions with your husband or do you respond to him emotoinally?

When you attack with your emotions, mans instinct to fight or flight kicks in

some men fight back but they try to use logic and logic never wins against emotion

Some men respond with flight where they withdraw within themselves and feel it is easier to say nothing than to fight emotions.

Proverbs 31:25–26 “25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.”

– Strength, dignity,

her words are wise, and gives instruction with kindness.

1 Peter 3:1

“In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over”

– Win husbands “without a word” by conduct.

Illustration – The Hidden Fragrance

A small bottle of perfume can fill a whole room.

A wife’s godly character is like a fragrance of Christ in the home

2 Corinthians 2:15

“Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are being saved and by those who are perishing.”

Women you are a Helpmate by design

Genesis 2:18 – “A helper fit for him.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”

– Two are better than one.

We discussed last week how the woman was a helper for him and how that was not a subordinate role but a complimentary one. Doing what the man can not do!

Women who do what is the man’s responsibility upsets the godly design.

NOTE: sometimes women must do the mans responsibility out of necessity

but too often it is not done out of necessity but personal desire.

Complementary roles

1 Corinthians 12:18–21 – Different members, one body; each necessary.

Illustration – The Missing Puzzle Piece

A nearly finished puzzle missing one important piece.

Without that piece, the picture is incomplete.

God designed the wife’s gifts and presence as essential, not optional.

Encourage Change

Women how do you respond to your husband?

Is it like a Boss who you have to reach some quota for and you always seem to be fighting agains?

Or is it like a partner who you are working with to accomplish the most important God given task?

As I pray ask yourself how you can better live out the design God put within you in relation to your husband.

Husband, ask how you can better honor your wife!