The tale of two women

To wives and sweethearts...

There is an odd yet comical toast that is tradition associated with the Royal Navy of the United Kingdom. It is a tradition that is shared to many of the Commonwealth countries such as Canada, India, Australia, and New Zealand.

Back in the 18th or 19th century, there was a toast that was made historically on Saturday nights and toasts goes something like this:

“To wives and sweethearts, may they never meet”, which hinted that the sailors had a wife at home and a romantic partner in some port city, the phrase playfully hopes that these two women (the wife of the sailor and the sailor’s romantic partner) would never encounter each other to prevent the discovery of infidelity.

Obviously, this immoral behaviour was permitted by the officers but as officers of the Royal Navy of the United Kingdom they were meant to set a Christian standard for their subordinates and therefore, they encouraged the sailors to be faithful where possible.

But, fast forward to this day and age, we’re living in the 21st century, we’re living in Post-Christianity, to a world where immorality is recommended and society detatches itself from what is right to what feels right.

So, the result of a traditional and the Biblical concept of family is put aside and now we have the rise of single parent homes and same-sex parents. Now, just an added clause, this isn’t to say that single parent homes is wrong or that the parent is immoral, I understand that there are situations and circumstances where the need to split is necessary to ensure the protection of the parent and child. I am not condemning the victim.

Something that is on a rise in secular society is polyamory relationships, especially amongst Generation Z, for those that don’t know what polyamory means, it basically means more than one partner, so there could be the possibility of two females and one male in a relationship together. Or two males and one female.

It is said that the reason for such polyamory relationships is to move away from societal norms and traditions which they considered is limiting to their mental and physical health and believe that it is healthier and honest.

Such relationships obviously require consensual agreement among all partners in order for the other person to not feel jealous or cheated.

Now, I am not promoting this because as I said in this Post-Christian world, it is no longer logic or facts that persuade the heart of men, it is now what feels right and physical lusts that persaude the heart of men, we’re living in a world where what’s right matters, we’re living in a world where feelings matter.

So, I bring you to a story of a tale of two women, vying for the attention of a married man, one of the woman is married to this man that they’re vying for, whereas the other is a maid and bears the child of this man. We’re going to look at the story of this polyamory relationship of Abram, Sarai and Hagar. A story of jealousy and betrayal.

The faith of Abram

Before we begin let’s look at the faith of Abram and we start in Genesis 15

Genesis 15:1–3 NLT

1 Some time later, the Lord spoke to Abram in a vision and said to him, “Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.” 2 But Abram replied, “O Sovereign Lord, what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son? Since you’ve given me no children, Eliezer of Damascus, a servant in my household, will inherit all my wealth. 3 You have given me no descendants of my own, so one of my servants will be my heir.”

Abram at this time would be under the age of 86, because in Genesis 16:16 we’re told that he is 86 years old, there was a 10 year difference between Abram and Sarai so she would have been under the age of 76.

Yet, God said to Abram that He will reward him greatly and that was great and all, but Abram was concerned that even though God will bless him with all God’s goodness, he has no heir to pass on this reward. So, Abram replies to God his dilemma.

What was God’ response to Abram’s concern?

Genesis 15:4–6 NLT

4 Then the Lord said to him, “No, your servant will not be your heir, for you will have a son of your own who will be your heir.” 5 Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!” 6 And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith.

Here, God explains to Abram that it is his seed that will inherit all that God has given to him. God uses the example of the starry night to show how numerous his descendants will be.

What was the response of Abram? He believed and it was account to him for righteousness. Meaning that Abram believed that he will have a child and that this child will be blessed by the providence of God.

Abram was righteous before God because he believed in what God had to offer for him and his family, a promise and a future, there was not a shred of doubt with Abram.

Abram, Sarai and Hagar

But fast forward to Genesis 16 and we are introduced to Hagar, an Egyptian maidservant that would have been a gift from Pharaoh when he sent Abram and Sarai on their way after Pharaoh and his household were plagued by God in Genesis 12.

So in Genesis 16, Sarai complains to Abram of her predicament:

Genesis 16:2–4 NLT

2 So Sarai said to Abram, “The Lord has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal. 3 So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abram as a wife. (This happened ten years after Abram had settled in the land of Canaan.) 4 So Abram had sexual relations with Hagar, and she became pregnant. But when Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to treat her mistress, Sarai, with contempt.

First thing we should ask, did Abram do the right thing? Well, considering that for Abram and Sarai such practises were considered normal in their native country in order to provide an heir for the family.

So, to Abram, it made sense according to the custom and tradition that they knew and kept and for Sarai it made sense and was allowed. The only problem was Hagar was an Egyptian and not Aramean so the custom may not be practised in Hagar’s home country, hence her contempt to her mistress.

But going back to whether Abram did what was right? God did say that he will have a son from his own body, God didn’t say specifically from who seeing that Sarai was barren and beyond the age of child bearing. So, it made sense to heed the advice of his wife.

But what should Abram have done if you were in his shoes (or sandals)? I believe that even though that the advice may seem right and logical, Abram should have prayed and asked God for direction in this matter right. Abram should have asked God whether Hagar was the one that was to bear the child of promise.

The sad reality is that many men will follow the advice of their wives, like Adam heeding the voice of his wife, Eve. Here we have Abram listening to the advice of his wife and soon enough we will see the outcome.

Friends, here’s a bit of advice, the choices we make could either make us dig a deep hole that makes it impossible for us to get out of the circumstances of our choices or fill a hole that enables us to escape.

I pray the choices you make, God is there when you make those choices, that God’s wisdom is the one that helps you fill that hole for you to escape. Because the moment we trust in ourselves and our feelings, then we create a world of hurt because the consequences of our choices.

So I suggest you reflect at some of the choices you’ve made, and ask the Lord of wisdom, and find a way out.

Cast out but not abandoned

Hagar is pregnant and treats her mistress with contempt, Sarai is not happy and complains to Abram and from what it seems Abram doesn’t want to deal with this and passes the responsibility to Sarai.

According to the tradition and customs of the Arameans, it is said that if a female slave was to claim equal status with the mistress because she bore children. The mistress may not sell her, however, the law permitted the humiliation of an overbearing slave-concubine, but also laid certain restrictions upon her owner.

As a result, Sarai deals harshly with Hagar to the point Hagar had to flee and run away from her mistress while pregnant. Hagar will eventually be visited by the Angel of the Lord who reveals to her that she will have a son and to call his name Ishmael (God hears) but this boy will be a wild man, his hand will be against everyone and vice versa and that he will dwell with his brethren.

Ishmael, is not the child that God had promised Abram, but God will still bless him and make him a great nation.

Whereas for Sarai, now Sarah, she will eventually get pregnant and give birth at the age 90 to Isaac, who is the child of promise. Abram, now Abraham is 100 years old which would make Ishmael 11 years old.

To Isaac, he will be the one that will receive of the reward the Lord has promised Abraham. It is Isaac through His seed the promise of the Messiah will be through his blood line for he will be the father of Israel.

But compare the outcome of both these children, for Ishmael, sure his heritage would not bear the Messiah but God promised that he will father a great nation, Ishmael is said that he would be wild, which would likely mean that he is free. But, Isaac, what heritage is offered to him?

Their descendants will be a numerous as the stars in heaven, which is great, but they will continue to be nomads and strangers in the land, God told them that they will go into bondage for 400 years (Genesis 15:13-16) but after the 400 years they will be given the land that they’re settling on, and through them the Messiah is promised.

So, if you had to make a choice, which side would you pick? Ishmael or Isaac? To be wild and free? Or to be nomads and strangers with the likelihood of going into bondage?

The two covenants; but one eternal covenant of freedom

Let me share to you Paul’s perspective on this matter to help you make a choice whether to be wild or a stranger.

Galatians 4:22–23 NLT

22 The Scriptures say that Abraham had two sons, one from his slave wife and one from his freeborn wife. 23 The son of the slave wife was born in a human attempt to bring about the fulfillment of God’s promise. But the son of the freeborn wife was born as God’s own fulfillment of his promise.

So, the Hagar’s son was an attempt to fulfill God’s promise whereas Sarah’s son is the fulfillment of God’s promise.

You see, for all of us, you all have a choice to make, you know that God will bless but are you faithful to trust in Him to bless us in His time, like the child of promise the path where God fulfills His promise? The path where you’re a stranger and nomad in this land? A path where you will face persecution for your faith? Woud you choose this path?

Or are you on the path of the wild and free? The one that ‘attempts’ to fulfill God’s promise? The one that makes their own pathway? The pathway where you’re not a nomad or stranger, a pathway where you won’t face persecution for your faith? Would you choose this path?

Galatians 4:30–31 NLT

30 But what do the Scriptures say about that? “Get rid of the slave and her son, for the son of the slave woman will not share the inheritance with the free woman’s son.” 31 So, dear brothers and sisters, we are not children of the slave woman; we are children of the free woman.

Friends, you have a decision that you need to make, you need to see where you are in your pathway with Him.

Are you on the side of Ishmael where you make your own choices in life thinking that you’re fulfilling what God has to offer you?

Or are you on the side of Isaac? Even though you will go through the trials and tribulations of faith, you put your trust in God and remain faithful for you will inherit the eternal promise in Jesus.

You can choose freedom but you will never be free nor will you be blessed or you could choose freedom in God and receive of the showers of blessing given to those that believe.

Joshua 24:15 NLT

15 But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”

I pray that you make the choice that leads to Him, even though the path may seem rough, I can assure you, the reward is indeed worth it.

Will you choose freedom in God? Will you trust in Jesus?