Actually Love One Another!
Notes
Transcript
1 John 3:11-18
Verse highlight:
16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
—- —- —- —-
Command; Pattern; Evidence: Love Actually Lived Out
Intro Illustration:
As I reflected on these verses for the past several weeks I was reminded how the scriptures are filled with constant reminders of not only who are we, but also the implications of how that should look in daily life.
When I was little, my brother and I used to fight a little.
Not so much my little sister. (I am the oldest and she is the youngest and I think, had a protected status in my eyes)
But me and my brother would occasionally get into it to the extent that the law would show up. (the law being mom!)
There’d usually be some tears, two different stories, perhaps Derek’s neighbor’s wooden spoon, and the inevitable, “hug and say you are sorry.”
This is the part that I couldn’t get out of my head as I read these verses.
I’m hugging my brother, saying “I’m sorry,” and I’m not sorry.
It’s a little funny and a little true, but what it really does is provide a really good example of the evil in our hearts.
Today we are reminded that we aren’t just “tied together” because we go to the same church.
Remember the “abide,” “brother,” “one another” language from John’s letter.
We are one in Christ. And we are called to actually love one another.
Verse 18 hammered that home for me:
18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
The Command to Love One Another (11–13)
The Command to Love One Another (11–13)
11 For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. 12 We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. 13 Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you.
(Positive/Negative Pattern) Verse 11 provides the positive, or the command. The reminder that believers love one another.
One thing that I’ve been convicted about this week and feel led to share is that this command to love is simply that: a command to love our brothers and sisters.
We live in a society that highly values individuality.
We value autonomy.
We value our thoughts, options, and maybe most highly, our feelings attached to these thoughts and options.
The scriptures are very clear. We are to love our brothers and sisters.
Those who proclaim Christ as their Savior.
Those who are walking with Jesus and following as a disciple.
If we are withholding our love from those who have differing options or those we have hurt our feelings, we aren’t obeying this scripture.
Before I talk about the message that was from the beginning, let’s look at the first word, “for” in verse 11 found in the ESV.
This word ties this passage to the previous section that Hayden preached a few weeks ago.
Remember how Hayden brought out there are two families: children belonging to Satan and those born of God.
One of the words that I was highlighting while Hayden was preaching in 3:4-10 is the word “practice.”
This is how John helped the believers see if they were in Christ.
6 No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him.
7 Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous.
— — — —
Friends, this command to love one another isn’t new. The Church has had this command from it’s inception.
We saw it as we’ve studied this book. Look back with me to 1 John 2:7
7 Beloved, I am writing you no new commandment, but an old commandment that you had from the beginning. The old commandment is the word that you have heard.
More specifically 1 John 2:9
9 Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.
Look also to Jesus’ words in John’s gospel.
34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
The language of “practice” from 3-10 pairs well with the word “abide” from the same section.
When we “abide” in Him, we practice the things He teaches.
Let’s look to the negative in verses 12-13.
We should not be like Cain. The “world” is Cain.
I really like examples like this. Do this, and not this.
It’s super helpful. Clarifying.
It drives the point home.
It’s also helpful for those who are apart from Christ. Clarifying.
You’re not just in sin. John spells it out. You are like Cain. He was evil. He murdered his brother.
In fact, this is John’s ONLY Old Testament reference in the entire letter!
John drives home how different the two families or natures are.
Those of God love their kin.
Those of Satan kill them. Let’s unpack this with some scripture:
7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.”
Cain was angry that his sacrifice was not accepted by God and was warned, “sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.”
Let’s look at the NT version of what sin in our hearts does to us.
Check out Matt. 5:21-22
21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.
Real quick, look to the back end of 1 Jn 3:12.
English Standard Version Chapter 3
Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous
— — — — —
John doesn’t use Cain as an example because his sacrifice was not accepted.
God told him this, gave him a chance to fix this heart, and he didn’t.
Friends:
you are going to think wrongly of a brother.
Your feelings are going to get hurt.
You are not going to like a decision made by another.
Don’t allow this to cause you to sin.
This section is finished up with verse 13.
13 Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you.
If Cain represents the “world,” John says it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the world hates you.
It’s desires are the opposite of yours in Christ.
This is the first and only time John addresses his readers as brothers.
They are unified together as a community of faith in the family of God.
1, 2, 3 John (1) Love in Action (3:11–18)
John urges his readers not to be
1, 2, 3 John (1) Love in Action (3:11–18)
Apparently, some of John’s readers are surprised by the hostile attitude of the world around them. The apostle calls upon these believers to stop marveling at the hatred being displayed
Church the world hates you because you are not of this world (Jn 17:14)
You represent worshipping God rather than self.
You represent repentance of sin.
You represent the forfeiture of pride, greed, and self-love and reliance.
Let’s be clear. The world hates you on account of the cross.
We shouldn’t say it hates us when our attitude is poor. (I just tell it like I see it!)
We shouldn’t be saying the world hates us when we are simply being unkind.
We shouldn’t say we are under persecution when in fact we are behaving as a Pharisee and majoring on the minors, and then ostracizing others for not believing as we do.
John moves from a reminder of the command to evidence of a new life.
The Evidence of New Life Is Love (14–15)
The Evidence of New Life Is Love (14–15)
14 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. 15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
Verse 14: the positive.
How do we know that we are obeying the command to love?
V. 14 WE LOVE THE BROTHERS!
John says we “passed out of death into life.”
The verb “passed” means to:
take steps over
to pass over
to move from one place to another
John uses in a spiritual sense of permanent movement. Spiritually you were dead. Now, in Christ, you have been permanently moved from death to life.
John uses the perfect tense of this word “life.” It’s permanent. You are completely, forever His.
We are not of this world. We behave differently.
24 Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.
Hears+believes=abides
One commentator said:
1, 2, 3 John (1) Love in Action (3:11–18)
eternal life is not earned by loving the brothers. Rather, loving the brothers (e.g., the Christian family) is evidence that one has made the transition from death to life
Verse 14b & 15: the negative.
“Whoever does not love abides in death.”
The absence of love is evidence that one has not passed, or been moved from the spiritual state of death and punishment to that of forgiveness, life, and love of the brothers and sisters.
John calls this state of being, death.
15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
He expounds a little more:
Hate your brother-you are a murderer (we touched on this from Matt. 5)
No murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
Here’s the language of “abiding” again.
To abide in Christ is to hear the gospel, to believe, and receive the Gift and the gifts of the Spirit (John 1:12).
John isn’t saying murderers can’t repent and abide in Him. He’s saying those who harbor an attitude of hate, those who practice sin, those who refuse to submit to Jesus abides in death and separation from God.
BUT THERE’S GOOD NEWS! (Command; Evidence…)
The Pattern of Love Shown at the Cross (16–17)
The Pattern of Love Shown at the Cross (16–17)
16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?
Verse 16: The positive
When I read verse 16 a few weeks ago in preparation for this sermon, my heart lit up.
I thought: there’s hope!
How do we move from murderer to love?
In the words of the Philippian jailer from Acts 16:
“Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”
— — — —
John reminded these believers that Jesus “laid down His life for us.”
Friends, this is what’s known as the Great Exchange!
21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
Martin Luther called it fröhlicher Wechseln [ˈfrøːlɪçɐ ˈvɛksəln] (“joyful exchange”)
The theological term I like here is imputation. Our sins to Christ and His righteousness to us.
— — — — —
There may be some of you who are feeling the Spirit drawing you.
Maybe it’s a new feeling, but you know in your heart that what the Bible is saying is true.
You are in sin. You live for yourself. You’ve tried to fix it on your own and it never works.
Maybe it’s not a new feeling. You get convicted of your sin and know you are apart from Christ, but you keep waiting for some reason.
Please don’t wait anymore. Today cry out to Christ, repent of your sins, believe the gospel, and live.
You can do that right now in your seat, but please tell someone what you’ve done so you can help and encouragement to grow as a follower of Jesus and learn how to love others as the scriptures and the Spirit teach us.
Verse 17: The negative
17 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?
While laying one’s life down is the most extreme example of Christlike love, John provides an everyday example for us to follow.
One man I read said something like, “you can lay your life down for someone once, but the opportunity to help a needy brother is constant.” (Akin, NAC 1, 2, 3 John)
Believer, if the attitude of your heart is constantly,
“someone else will get that,” or
“I have the money and time, but they don’t deserve it” there’s a problem
Scripture here kind of lays out a formulaic principle:
You possess enough material to both maintain your needs AND meet another’s need. +
You observe there is a need to be met. (This is more than a passing glance. You’ve thought about it enough to appreciate the situation.) =
How can you not meet the need? (how does God’s love abide in him?)
Is it your responsibility to help everyone you see? No. Use some wisdom, discernment, and grow in your giving.
There are three best ways to learn how to grow in this:
Give and serve rightly. (keep doing so and grow!)
Give and serve wrongly. (learn from your mistake and fix it.)
Don’t give or serve. (learn from your mistake and fix it.)
Brothers and sisters, the gospel absolutely changes us toward actually loving one another!
(Command; Pattern; Evidence…)
The Reality of Love Lived Out (18)
The Reality of Love Lived Out (18)
18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
As I close out this passage today, notice the “little children” language again.
Very kind, fatherly.
Actually love each other.
John isn’t saying we shouldn’t use kind words.
He’s reminding them to practice it with kind words.
What does that look like in a body the size of Bridgeway?
When those who are a part of your Community Group need help, you pitch in. Verse 18 is warning against the “blister friend.”
It looks like taking care of those BW supports as missionaries. When they come home to visit, you can help provide meals, transportation, and other needs and comforts.
It looks like being a participatory member in attending events outside of Sunday gatherings or C Group meetings.
You get to meet new people, hear their stories, and allow the Holy Spirit to prompt you to not only love with our words, but in deed and in truth.
I want to close with these words from a pastor from Texas and CS Lewis’ Screwtape Letters and a final story about my dad that highlights the essence of loving in deed and truth;
(Blake White) In 2026, resolve to go all-in with an imperfect local church that is centered on exalting Jesus and helping people become like Him. The Senior Demon Screwtape wrote to his young disciple Wormwood about how to influence people toward demonic ends: "Surely you know that if a man can't be cured of churchgoing, the next best thing is to send him all over the neighborhood looking for the church that 'suits' him until he becomes a taster or connoisseur of churches." Don’t follow Wormwood.
Final Illustration:
Remember the first illustration I gave about how my brother and I would begrudgingly forgive each other?
Let me close with a story about a father’s love for his kids. How the brothers and sisters are supposed to behave.
KC moving…
