But They Stepped On My J's

WE

EX. Little Kid steps on my Shoes

“Something I’ve noticed is that our culture doesn’t value forgiveness. We value being right. We value being offended. We value canceling people.”

We honestly live in a culture who would rather CANCEL someone rather than show them true forgiveness.

Transition:“This morning we’re talking about how unforgiveness steals our peace, but forgiveness restores our wholeness.”

I truly believe that God want us at peace ,whole and restored, and Unforgiveness is something we get caught up in that has to sabotage Gods plan of restoration in our lives.

Define it

Point 1 “Unforgiveness is holding onto a debt God never asked you to collect.”

why its so easy for us is because we walk around every day collect

Backpack Weight Example

We can pick up offenses daily, social post , hot take

When we hold on to that offence, now we are operating in unforgiveness

“If I keep carrying this, it affects how I live, how I love, and how I trust.”

“God wants to give us peace, but offence fills our hands.”

Because If I Put This Down/ Or Let This Go What Happens?

People don’t deserve it

I need to hold this over them

This is all i have

Its been so long What difference does it make?

If we aren’t careful that offense that we choose to carry will become backdoors to unforgiveness

Point 2“Forgiveness is choosing to cancel a debt—even when you have every right to collect it.”

Its choosing to put the weight down

Pause

Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your father will not forgive your sins.

This is why this matters : because forgiving others is a nonnegotiable for God

You Might Say Pastor Chris I forgive everyone I forgave the person who messed my order at chipotle

What’s your limit? Everyone has someone or something that you struggles with forgiving

Usually what we are offering is cheap forgiveness

We say I forgive you, but usually that’s for the cheap things

I mean not for the real serious things we might struggle with

When someone betrays your trust

Takes advantage of your kindness

True Forgiveness might cost you something

You can still hold them accountable/ healthy boundaries

Point 3 There is real freedom in forgiving those who have wronged you.

ME

I struggled with forgiving my dad.

When my family fell apart, I blamed him for most of the damage.

Over time, my dad changed. He matured. He became a godly man. He even started preaching. But I refused to accept that he had changed.

My other siblings were younger or weren’t around for what I experienced. But I remembered who he was. I remembered the mistakes. And in my mind, he wasn’t worthy of my forgiveness.

I carried that weight for almost 20 years.

I still loved my dad. But I wouldn’t forgive him for the decisions he made with me.

And then—China.

My wife gently told me it was time to open my heart and spend time with my parents again.

And when I made the decision to forgive my dad—not just with words, but from my heart—something changed.

I wasn’t just releasing him. I was finally releasing myself.

Point 4“When we forgive, we free ourselves and others from carrying the weight of the offense.”

What I learned through my dad is this: forgiveness doesn’t change the past, but it does change who carries it.”

“And this isn’t just my story — it’s all over Scripture.”

“There’s a man in the Bible who had every reason not to forgive… and his name is Joseph.”

GOD

Bible Example. Joseph is challenged with forgiveness.

He has a dream at an early age that he will be in power and authority.

that he is the favored

he wasn't supposed to do field work

this was a message that he is set apart.

and his siblings resentment him for it.

Then Joseph has this dream. One day he is going to have authority over his family

New Living Translation Chapter 37

18 When Joseph’s brothers saw him coming, they recognized him in the distance. As he approached, they made plans to kill him. 19 “Here comes the dreamer!” they said. 20 “Come on, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns. We can tell our father, ‘A wild animal has eaten him.’ Then we’ll see what becomes of his dreams!”

He is sold into slavery by his family at 17

Potiphar’s wife has him thrown in prison

Becomes the governor of Egypt at 30.

He says that God has might him forget all his hardship and his father’s house. And God has made him fruitful in the land of his affliction.

When His brothers come to buy grain in Egypt because of a famine. He is confronted with his past. It starts to weep. I believe at this moment he realizes this was what the dream meant. It wasn’t about him being the ruler of his family.

the dream wasn't about rulling over them , it was about resucing a family who had betrayed him.

He eventually ends up forgiving them and repays their extreme cruelty with extreme kindness

He says this You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose

This is why there is so much freedom in forgiving others because regardless of what others do .

YOU (how can we forgive others)

Pray for Those who have used you

Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you,

it hard for you to harbor negative feelings about someone your constently praying for

Repay Cruelty with extreme kindness

1 peter 3:9 “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”

Ask the Holy Spirt for Help to let go

WE

If we could get this down, It would shift our culture

King Diada and Munrunjo

The king starts off in the story as a brat

Eventually he finds our that the witch has betrayed him

As his soul is locked away, he sees all the witches past pain

At the end of the story the king has the option to pass judgement on the witch

He Chooses to forgive her and protects her and make her his bride

And says she now will teach the younger generation the right way to go.

Jesus did the same thing for us

and because we have been forgiven we have to forgive others.

I don’t know what you’re going through today

I’m not sure how long you might have been holding on to this

But I do know God wants you to free yourself today.