Fruit of the Spirit: Love

What should a Christian look like?

You guys know at least one of these people:

The goofy religious prude like Ned Flanders from The Simpsons—well‑meaning and sweet, but totally weird and out of touch.

The judgmental jerk like Angela from The Office—the grumpy, critical “Christian” everyone knows is a hypocrite.

The ignorant, preachy mom like Mary Cooper from The Big Bang Theory—kind and sincere, but portrayed as superstitious and clueless.

These are exaggerated caricatures, but if we’re honest, we can start to think about Christians—even ourselves—through these same lenses.

So what should a Christian actually look like?

If you stripped away the stereotypes and cartoons, what picture does the Bible give us?

We do have a clear, beautiful description in Scripture.

Galatians 5:22-26 is the Apostle Paul’s description of what a Christian SHOULD look like.

Galatians 5:22–24 CSB

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

9 Characteristics that Paul calls the “Fruit of the Spirit”.

The Biblical Picture: Fruit of the Spirit

Three quick observations:

This is a description, not a to‑do list.

Paul isn’t just saying, “Try harder to be love, kind, patience...”

I hear guys say

He’s describing what the Holy Spirit produces in someone who belongs to Christ.

This is heart transformation, not religious behavior.

It’s not just “Christians don’t drink, don’t cuss, don’t watch certain shows.”

It’s deep inner change: love, joy, peace, patience…

This is for everyone in Christ, not a few “super‑Christians.”

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus”—that’s all believers.

Transition: “But how does this actually happen? What changes a person from the inside like this?”

Little Theology: How the Spirit Changes Us

When you trust in Christ, the Holy Spirit comes to live in you fully and permanently.

Ephesians 1:13 CSB

13 In him you also were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and when you believed.

Romans 8:14–16 CSB

14 For all those led by God’s Spirit are God’s sons. 15 For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear. Instead, you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father!” 16 The Spirit himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God’s children,

Simple put:

When you believed the gospel, God didn’t just forgive you and walk away.

He moved in. He sealed you with His Spirit.

The Spirit tells your heart, “You are God’s child now. You can call Him ‘Abba, Father.’”

Illustration: yeast in bread.

What’s the difference between a tortilla and a loaf of bread?

Essentially: yeast (plus some fat in a tortilla to keep it soft).

The presence of yeast changes what happens inside the dough. It rises; it becomes something different.

Connect:

In the same way, the presence of the Holy Spirit inside a believer changes what happens inside of us.

Over time, He transforms us into something we could never become on our own.

This is a lifelong, progressive journey. Not instant perfection, but real, ongoing change.

That’s where the fruit comes in.

Fruit, Not Fruits

Read Galatians 5:22 again: “But the fruit of the Spirit is…”

NOTICE: “Fruit” is singular in Greek—karpos.

We tend to read it as plural—nine separate “fruits.”

We think, “I’m more of a joy person, not really a patience person,” like it’s a personality test.

But that isn’t what Paul wants us to understand:

Paul is talking about one fruit with many aspects.

Not a basket of different fruits, but a single fruit with different traits.

Illustration: an apple.

One apple has skin, flesh, a core, and seeds.

All of those describe one fruit.

In the same way, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self‑control are different ways of describing the one character the Spirit forms in us.

Today we’re going to zoom in on the first word: love.

How does the Holy Spirit actually produce love in us?”

Love is at the center of this fruit.

Quote Donald Barnhouse:

“Love is the key.

Joy is love singing.

Peace is love resting.

Patience is love enduring.

Kindness is love’s character.

Faithfulness is love’s habit.

Gentleness is love’s self‑forgetfulness.

Self-control is love holding the reins.”

Let’s look at three ways He, the Holy Spirit, produces love in us:

The Spirit REVEALS God’s love for us.

At the beginning of Galatians 5 Paul makes an incredibly important declaration.

Galatians 5:1 CSB

1 For freedom, Christ set us free. Stand firm, then, and don’t submit again to a yoke of slavery.

The Galatians were dealing with false teachers, coming in and telling them they needed to follow the Jewish law if they really wanted to be saved.

So legalism was starting to seep into the church.

The feeling that they had to prove themselves to God as loveable by following rules and checking boxes.

But that isn’t the Gospel (the good news) they believed, that saved them.

Christ set them free in order that they might be FREE.

And the key to that freedom is understanding the LOVE God has for them, for us.

Remember the passage we read from Romans 8:14-16 the Spirit of adoption crying “Abba, Father.”

Romans 8:14–16 CSB

14 For all those led by God’s Spirit are God’s sons. 15 For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear. Instead, you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father!” 16 The Spirit himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God’s children,

Isn’t that incredible!

The Spirit doesn’t just give us information; He gives us assurance.

He takes the truth “God loves you in Christ” from your head to your heart.

He preaches the gospel to our hearts:

‘You really are forgiven. You really are adopted. You really are loved, not because you’re good, but because Christ is good.’

Think about how that changes you.

If you wake up every day thinking, ‘I have to earn God’s love today,’ you’ll be anxious, defensive, struggling to find security.

But if you wake up and the Spirit reminds you, ‘You are already loved in Christ,’ you don’t have to squeeze love and affirmation out of everyone around you.

That is FREEDOM.

The more the Spirit convinces you that you are loved, the more He will produce genuine love from you.

Application questions:

“Where are you still living like an unloved orphan instead of a beloved child?”

“What would change in how you treat others if you really believed, deep down, that God delights in you in Christ?”

The Spirit CRUCIFIES our self‑centeredness

The main enemy of love is self-centeredness.

If we circle back to Galatians 5:16-21 we will find a common thread in what Paul calls the “works of the flesh” that are in opposition to the Fruit of the Spirit:

Galatians 5:16–21 CSB

16 I say, then, walk by the Spirit and you will certainly not carry out the desire of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don’t do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

Galatians 5:16–21 CSB

19 Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, 21 envy, drunkenness, carousing, and anything similar. I am warning you about these things—as I warned you before—that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

What is the common thread?

Self-gratification, self-centeredness, self-absorption, idolatry of self...

The war the Spirit is fighting for us is a war against our self-centeredness.

And Paul says in 5:24

Galatians 5:24 CSB

24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

In other words, you cannot grow in Spirit‑produced love and at the same time cling tightly to self‑centered desires.

Our biggest obstacle to love is not that we don’t know what love is.

It is that we love ourselves most.

Our default thought as sinful humans is, ‘How does this affect me? Who notices me? Am I getting what I want?’ That is the flesh talking.

Paul is saying the Spirit takes us to the cross.

He starts exposing the ugly motives underneath our behavior and attitudes and brings conviction:

Our consumerism: Focusing on ‘What’s in it for me?’ What will make my week better? What will meet my needs? Instead of asking, ‘How can I serve others today?’

Or how we treat others. Talking behind their backs.

That someone frustrates you. Instead of going to him directly, you vent to three other people first.

You process your hurt by building your case instead of pursuing love.

That’s not the fruit of the Spirit—that’s the flesh protecting itself through gossip.

Our maybe it holding tight to time and treasure.

Someone needs help moving, needs a meal after surgery, needs you to show up.

But your first instinct is, ‘I don’t have time,’ ‘That’s not in my budget,’ ‘Someone else will do it.’

We say yes to every personal comfort but struggle to give up what could bless others.

The Spirit invites us to crucify those desires.

To say, ‘Because I am loved by God, selfishness does not get to rule me anymore.’

That’s what it looks like to ‘crucify the flesh with its passions and desires’—

You agree with God about your selfishness, you bring it into the light, and you hand it over to the cross.

Where is the Spirit putting His finger on self‑centeredness in your life right now?

Is it in your marriage, your parenting, your friendships, here at church?

Where is He saying, ‘That attitude needs to go to the cross so My love can come through’?”

The Spirit EMPOWERS us to love ALL people.

Let’s be honest: some people are easy to love.

They like us, they agree with us, they treat us well. You don’t need much supernatural help for that.

But then there are the people who have hurt you, who misunderstand you, who you clash with, who seem to always say or do things that drive you mad.

Everything in your flesh wants to avoid them, resent them, or get even with them.

Remember Paul’s list of the works of the flesh: hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, envy…

That is what naturally comes out of us in challenging relationships.

And it is here we discover whether we are being led by the flesh or by the Spirit.

What does the Spirit do in those relationships?

He reminds you of how God loved you when you were His enemy.

He brings Jesus’ words to mind: ‘Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, forgive as the Lord forgave you.’

He pokes your conscience when you start replaying the offense over and over.

And then He prompts you toward specific, concrete acts of love: praying for them by name, refusing to slander them, speaking a kind word instead of a cutting one, taking a small step toward peace.

You know it’s the Spirit because it usually feels costly and unnatural.

Everything in you says, ‘They don’t deserve this.’ And the Spirit says, ‘Neither did you. But this is what My love looks like.’

So I want to make this very practical.

Right now, in your heart, ask the Holy Spirit: ‘Who is the hardest person in my life to love right now?’

Let that name or face come to mind.

Now quietly ask Him, ‘What does love look like toward them this week?’

Not in theory, but in one specific step—maybe a prayer every day for a period of time, asking God to help you to love them and serve them.

Maybe you need to set up a time to meet with them, to work toward forgiveness and healing.

Or maybe it is just a step toward turning over bitterness, anger, and distrust, to give God the opportunity to bring redemption to a broken situation.

You will never drift into that kind of love. Your flesh will never produce that.

But the Spirit can.

Closing

So how does the Holy Spirit produce love in us? He shows us God’s love for us. He crucifies our self-centeredness. And He empowers us to love people we can’t love on our own.

This isn’t a self-improvement plan. It’s abiding in Christ. Jesus said it perfectly in John 15:4–5

John 15:4–5 CSB

4 Remain in me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me.

We have spent the last 4 weeks confronting the excuses we use for not reading the bible.

Calling one another to be “In the Word” this year.

We will know the Love of God as we abide/remain in His Word.

And we will “produce much fruit”

That is the fruit of the Spirit.

If you came here today and you have never given your life to Jesus—your first step isn’t to try to love better.

It’s to come to Jesus, to trust Him, and to receive the Spirit who can change you from the inside out.

Pray