How to be a Sweet Smelling Aroma

Introduction

How does God see you?

In your mind, as you examine your heart, how would God rate your service and devotion to Him?

Well what if I told you that God says you are a sweet smelling aroma to Him?

What I don’t want you to do is live your life in constant defeat. There are so many situations and discouraging circumstances that we face…there are so many internal battles and wars with sin that we have to conquer…we can get to the place where we feel down right embarrassed to call ourselves children of God.

But Paul says in this chapter that we are a sweet-smelling aroma to God. This isn’t literal, it’s a figure of speech.

The Corinthian church was down and out, they were crushed and filled with sorrow. They have totally embarrassed God and they lived in unrepentance to the point where Paul had to come a personally confront them.

This is why 2 Corinthians was written primarily as a letter of comfort and encouragement.

The reason for this is because Paul has already made a painful visit and he wants them to know that he cares deeply for them. He wants to remind them that they are sincere in their faith because they were obedient to God, and because they did what was necessary for repentance.

What were the things that made them obedient, and how does Paul react when they were obedient?

He reacts with kindness, he reacts with forgiveness, and he tells them of their victory in Jesus.

And that’s what I want to relay to you tonight, how we can live up to the description of being a sweet-smelling aroma to God.

If you want to be a sweet-smelling aroma…

I. Have a Kind Heart

To be kind does not mean to be an appeaser. To be kind does not mean to silent when people are doing the wrong things. And to be kind doesn’t meant to be weak.

To be kind means to put others before yourselves in a way that is healthy, which means having their best interest in mind regardless of the situation.

The word kindness is defined as being gentle or to have “sweet reasonableness”. Being reasonable doesn’t include being non-confrontational. Being reasonable doesn’t include avoiding truth for others false feelings and bad behaviors. Being reasonable means laying aside your own wants and desires for the sake of doing what is best and for the sake of doing what is right.

Think of an unreasonable person. An unreasonable person doesn’t want a solution, they just want to be right or they want to have their way. There is no amount of logic of factual data that will help and unreasonable person.

However, a reasonable person, a kind person, will have the integrity to do and to say what is right regardless of their personal feelings.

How can we kind?

A. Be Determined

2 Corinthians 2:1 NKJV

But I determined this within myself, that I would not come again to you in sorrow.

Paul had a tough visit to Corinth where he rebuked them for sin, but he doesn’t want that to be their relationship anymore. Paul wants to return to a spirit of kindness.

Do you know how he did that?

He said that he was determined not to do it!

In v. 1 he says, “I determined within myself.”

When it comes to our emotions and our interactions with other people, I think we ignore the control that we have. We don’t understand the power we have to ensure peace in our lives and in the lives of others.

If we’re Christians, God says that He has given us the power of the Holy Spirit. Well, the fruit of the Holy Spirit includes kindness. So, just like Paul, if we will determine in our hearts that we are going to be kind, then we have the power to make that a reality.

Why did Paul choose kindness?

Paul had the right and the authority as an Apostle to continue to discipline them, but he didn’t want to. The reason that he didn’t want to is because he wanted to be their source of joy and not their source of sorrow.

Apparently there was someone important in the church that publicly opposed his ministry and his apostleship. And when Paul paid them a visit it didn’t go well.

Since Paul figured they had enough, and possibly because in his flesh he wanted to finish it off, he disciplined himself into having that kind heart so that he wouldn’t cause any more pain.

Pay attention to that. Disciplined himself. Some think that God does all the work and that we don’t have any of the responsibility. But everything in our life comes down to discipline.

When we don’t feel like it, we do it anyway.

When we don’t see the need, if God says it, we do it anyway.

We must be disciplined, and we must be determined to do what God has called us to do, and to be who God has called us to be. And that begins with having a kind heart or a sweet reasonableness.

Not only must we be determined to be kind…

B. See the Benefit

There is always a good return on being kind. Even if you return kindness for unkindness, you still win.

Romans 12:17 NKJV

Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men.

Why does the Bible teach us this?

Because there is no benefit in getting bent out of shape over everything. There is no benefit being unreasonable. The only thing that we obtain by being unreasonable is being alone and being stressed.

To be reasonable and to be kind allows us a life of tranquility and peace. And it shows that we value our integrity and our relationship with God more than having other people believe that we are right.

Repaying evil for evil, being unkind to those that are unkind doesn’t do anything but add fuel to the fire.

2 Corinthians 2:2 NKJV

For if I make you sorrowful, then who is he who makes me glad but the one who is made sorrowful by me?

Paul valued people and he valued relationships. It was the churches that he planted that he called his joy and his crown.

Philippians 4:1 NKJV

Therefore, my beloved and longed-for brethren, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, beloved.

I mean Paul really loved these people. And when they are hurting he was hurting. When they had to be corrected by him, it wasn’t easy for him to do because he knew that they would be hurt by it. So, he didn’t want to do that anymore. He wanted them to retain their joy so that he could also have joy.

The worst days of being a leader are the days when I have to confront someone because of something that needs to be corrected. The reason that it’s hard is because I love this church and I know that in some capacity its going to change our relationship.

So, I’m not going to belabor the point and continue to keep people oppressed over what they did wrong.

Because, like Paul says, “If I make you sorrowful, who’s going to bring me joy?”

The answer is no one. This church brings me joy! I don’t want to bring this church sorrow because that only brings me sorrow.

And, as necessary as the confrontations are, the joy and the benefit of being kind is so much sweeter than the bitterness of correction.

To be kind we need to be determined, we need to see the benefit…

C. Clearly Communicate

Being unkind happens when we fail to communicate. And kindness happens when we learn to communicate effectively.

That’s what Paul did.

2 Corinthians 2:3–4 NKJV

And I wrote this very thing to you, lest, when I came, I should have sorrow over those from whom I ought to have joy, having confidence in you all that my joy is the joy of you all. For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you, with many tears, not that you should be grieved, but that you might know the love which I have so abundantly for you.

v. 3, he writes, so that you weren’t sorrowful when I came, I gave you the bad news before I got there.

1 Corinthians 4:21 NKJV

What do you want? Shall I come to you with a rod, or in love and a spirit of gentleness?

He gave them the option. He clearly communicated that he wanted to come with gentleness, but that he would come with a rod if it was necessary.

What did he communicate by saying this? He communicated that what they were doing was against God’s word and that they needed to repent. And if they didn’t that he’d be forced to come with discipline. But he also communicated that he’d prefer to come with gentleness.

Then, in v. 4 he expresses his heart for them. He pours out kindness and reassures them that he doesn’t want them to feel any tension, but instead to know that his heart was broken when he had to be that harsh.

What happens when we fail to communicate?

Bitterness Invades

Do you know why we’re bitter? Either we have never communicated our frustration to someone, or by the time we communicate that frustration, our emotions are out of hand and we are no longer kind.

Once we get to that point where our frustrations are boiling over, we tend to say things that are unkind. And when we say things that are unkind, tension happens, and that tension goes unresolved, and it spirals into a bloodbath of bad communication.

Bitterness prevents clear communication because we become clouded by emotions and unreasonable expectations. All of a sudden it goes from doing what’s right to being right.

When we discipline ourselves to communicate clearly at the point of frustration, we open the lid on the pressure cooker.

How should we communicate?

Directly and Kindly

We live in such a passive aggressive world that we’re afraid to give criticism or compliments. We’re also afraid to ask questions.

Church, if you think someone is doing a good job, just go and tell them. If you’re worried that they’re discouraged just go and ask and then encourage them. You don’t need special permission to be kind because you already have it.

If someone offended you because of how they spoke to you, just say, “I don’t like the way you talked to me just now. It was inappropriate.”

The unkind version of that is, “You never talk to anyone kindly. You’re a mean person.” That’s called an emotionally unhinged response. If you were being honest you’d just say, “I don’t like you and everything you do annoys me. And I don’t have a better way to explain it because I’m mad.” That’s also known as a temper tantrum. It’s not direct or kind. It’s very vague and emotional.

We have to learn to talk to people with reasonable language and with a kind heart. Look again at v. 4 and listen to how Paul addresses them.

2 Corinthians 2:4 NKJV

For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you, with many tears, not that you should be grieved, but that you might know the love which I have so abundantly for you.

He didn’t say anything out of harshness to hurt their feelings. Instead he kindly and directly communicated with them the problems that needed to be addressed, and now is reassuring them of his love for them all.

So, to be a sweet smelling aroma, we need to have a kind heart….

II. A Forgiving Spirit

There is nothing sweeter that will take place in your life than real forgiveness. That’s because forgiveness heals the wounds that are within.

It doesn’t erase consequences…it doesn’t fix hard situations…but forgiveness provides inner peace. And as I’ve said many times, you cannot be at peace with the people around you until you have peace within yourself. And peace within yourself only comes through forgiveness.

What is the pathway to forgiveness?

A. Acknowledge the Damage Done

2 Corinthians 2:5 NKJV

But if anyone has caused grief, he has not grieved me, but all of you to some extent—not to be too severe.

Paul doesn’t shy away from mentioning that there was someone that hurt the Corinthian church. He completely affirms that there was damage done.

Ignoring Hurt vs Dwelling in Hurt

Sometimes, what we try to do is ignore hurt.

It’s possible that we’ve talked to a hurting person and we’ve said, “just get over what they did.” or, “you know, it’s really not that big of a deal!”

This doesn’t help the forgiveness process. There has to be an acknowledgement of hurt in order for forgiveness to take place.

But there are some that just dwell in that hurt forever.

There has to be a point when the pain is acknowledged, but once you’ve acknowledged that you’re in pain the only person keeping you there is you.

The Bible says that we have freedom. The Bible says that we have victory. It’s acceptable and necessary to acknowledge the pain, but we can’t dwell there forever.

If acknowledging the damage done is the first step, what’s next?

B. Seek Restoration

2 Corinthians 2:6–7 NKJV

This punishment which was inflicted by the majority is sufficient for such a man, so that, on the contrary, you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow.

In this case, the person who committed the wrong was punished by the church. They enacted church discipline for the sole purpose of his restoration.

And when he repented, and when he started doing what was right, the church was called to take him back and love him.

We can’t keep people down in their sins and in their failures forever. There has to be confrontation, but there also has to be restoration.

What Happens When They Don’t Repent?

The truth is that you can’t control them. I think the principle still applies though. You seek restoration on your end by forgiving them internally. That means to forgive them with the understanding that they may never apologize and they may never live right.

Still, if you want to be set free from pain and if you want to be a sweet smelling aroma, you need peace within yourself. Don’t seek restoration for their benefit, seek restoration for yours.

Church Discipline and Inner Peace

In the context of the church, discipline is necessary. Sometimes the only way to get a person to do what is right in the sight of God is to confront them in a way that is God honoring. To acknowledge the damage they’ve caused, to punish them, but then to accept them back if they truly repent.

But in your personal life, if someone never repents or apologizes, you don’t have to live in that. You don’t have to be stuck wallowing in self-pity because of someone else’s bad decisions. There is freedom found when you have a forgiving spirit.

Acknowledge the damage done, seek restoration even if there is no promise of it…

C. Be Obedient Even When it Hurts

2 Corinthians 2:8–9 NKJV

Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him. For to this end I also wrote, that I might put you to the test, whether you are obedient in all things.

We want to fantasize the Bible and take the real world hurts out of it. But when we read this verse it cuts deep into our hearts. That we are to reaffirm love to someone who has wronged us and has repented.

Sometimes we do get the victory. Sometimes the conflict does turn into a peaceful situation. And when that happens, we need to lean into that forgiveness and not let it linger in uncertainty.

How do we reaffirm love?

With action and with words. And the two have to be mutually carried out and they have to be consistently carried out.

If you go one day and you say you love them and forgive them but the next you’re cold and uninviting, then you really haven’t forgiven them…you’re just faking obedience to God.

We have to remember that sin is first and foremost against God. We need to seek the forgiveness of God and then the forgiveness of others.

In the same way, we forgive others to restore our relationship, but also to keep our relationship with God. To pretend to forgive to save face might fool your friends but it won’t fool the Lord.

Acknowledge the damage done, seek restoration regardless of the offending party, and be obedient even when it hurts.

D. Stand United in Jesus Christ

2 Corinthians 2:10–11 NKJV

Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.

That is, Satan will use unforgiveness as a wedge in every part of your life and he will especially use it in the church.

What Satan tries to do is create factions and divisions in the church. And he wants people to take sides. And he wants people to be emotionally unhinged to where they no longer care if what’s best but they only care if it’s what they want.

The spirit of satan is a spirit that is guided by emotion, unresolved anger, bitterness, and darkness.

Satan doesn’t want people to confront sin, he wants them to hide it.

Satan doesn’t want people to acknowledge hurt and seek restoration, he wants them to acknowledge it and live in it.

Satan doesn’t want us to be obedient to God, he wants us to lure in the person that caused us harm and then take that as an opportunity for revenge. He wants to feed our anger and our pride and he wants to feed their defeat and their shame. He’s a nasty person and his devices are just as nasty.

Instead, we must stand united in Jesus Christ and know that if the offended party can forgive, that we can forgive.

And that if Jesus can forgive us for the times that we betrayed Him, we can forgive those that have betrayed us.

To be a sweet smelling aroma, have a kind heart…have a forgiving spirit that gives you inner peace…

III. A Victorious Mind

There is a lot of our faith that comes down to our mind. I can’t express to you how much control you have over your own life. I know the spiritual thing is to say that God controls our life, but in His word He says that we have the responsibility to have a sound mind.

Romans 12:2 NKJV

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

You cannot be a sweet smelling aroma and also have a defeated mind.

We talked last night about feeling unworthy to serve in the church. Did you know that you’re not unworthy?

Imagine if I got on stage and I said, “I’m just a sinner…I don’t deserve to be up here…I’m just so unworthy…here’s the message I got if I can even preach it because I’m so guilty from sin.”

You don’t want to hear a message from a defeated messenger. You want to hear the message of the gospel from a victorious messenger.

To ignore the sin in your life is unhealthy, but to dwell in constant unworthiness is crippling and damaging to your self image.

You can never properly project the message of our Lord if you never have a victorious mind.

We ought not be arrogant, but we ought to be confident.

We ought not be self-righteous, but we ought to live in righteousness.

And we ought not be filled with a lust for power or status, but we ought to be satisfied in the power and the status that we have obtained through our salvation that Jesus won for us.

Now, we have an important role to play here on earth, and we will never accomplish that wallowing in defeat. We can only accomplish it with a victorious mind.

What has Jesus qualified us to do?

A. To be His Witness

2 Corinthians 2:14–15 NKJV

Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing.

The Bible says that we are to His fragrance.

How can we put off a sweet smell if we are living in death? If we are living with a feeling of unworthiness? We can’t. I’m not worthy to preach because of anything that I have done, I’m worthy to preach because Jesus saved me and God called me.

Well, you’re the same way. You’re worthy to preach the name of Jesus Christ because God has appointed you to be a messenger of Jesus. His word says that you a to God the fragrance of Jesus Christ.

When you call yourself unworthy, you call Jesus Christ unworthy. You are His image bearer, you are His witness.

Not only are you qualified to be His witness…

B. To Be His Agent of Truth

2 Corinthians 2:16 NKJV

To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life. And who is sufficient for these things?

When you preach the word of God, when you boldly witness for Christ, you either act as a hardening agent or you act as a softening agent.

Not everyone will accept Jesus. Some will tell us that we smell of death and it is because they are moving toward death. They are headed for the grave and they love darkness more than they love the light.

However, to some we will be the agent of truth that softens their hearts and leads them to life.

Not only are we qualified as His witness, as His agent of truth…

C. To Speak His Word

2 Corinthians 2:17 NKJV

For we are not, as so many, peddling the word of God; but as of sincerity, but as from God, we speak in the sight of God in Christ.

Paul ends v. 16 saying, “who is sufficient for these things?”

The opening of v. 17 doesn’t say that he’s not worthy…what he’s saying in v. 17 is that he’s not like these false teachers who in their pride assume they are qualified as witnesses and messengers without the saving work of Jesus Christ.

He says that they are peddlers of the word of God. They are fakers, seeking to exploit it for their own gain. Those are the ones that are unqualified.

But we, His children, the ones that He has saved and that He has called, and that He has appointed to His work, we speak in the sight of God in Christ. We seek for the benefit of His Kingdom. We are sincere, and we are victorious in Jesus Christ.

There is no reason for you to feel unqualified, because you are a sweet-smelling aroma to God because of what Jesus did. To call yourself unworthy is to call Jesus Christ unworthy.

Conclusion

Our life’s mission is to be a living sacrifice to the Lord.

And when our blood is spilled out on the altar, we don’t want to be presented as a foul odor. We want to be a sweet smelling aroma to God. We want to reflect Jesus Christ in every area of our life.

Therefore…

We need a Kind Heart

Kindness is not appeasement, it’s not weakness, it’s not going along to get along…kindness is reasonable truth applied to the circumstances of life whether good or bad.

To be kind…we have to determine within ourselves that we will be kind and that we will be reasonable…we must know that kindness benefits us more than revenge and domineering power….and in order to be kind we must always be able to clearly communicate before bitterness sets in and without being passive aggressive.

A Forgiving Spirit

People will hurt us…and people will hurt this church…and to go without acknowledging that hurt is damaging. But to constantly wallow in that hurt is even more damaging.

We must always have the attitude of Jesus, that while we were His enemies, He died to restore us to God’s presence.

We must be obedient even when it hurts, and we must be united in Jesus Christ. Unification in Jesus is the only way to stand against the divisiveness of Satan.

A Victorious Mind

Jesus has given us victory. Victory over our unworthiness, victory over sin, victory over death…and He has qualified us to be His witness, to be His agent of truth, and to speak His word.

To neglect that victory is make a mockery of the gospel of Jesus Christ.