Malachi 2:10-16
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In God’s good providence, we have arrived at this passage the week of Valentine’s Day.
And so husbands, reminder, this coming Saturday, you need to do something. Something.
Buy your wife flowers, Take her to Olive Garden, or somewhere fancy where they cook in front of you like Subway.
Do something for that special someone in your life.
But I did find it interesting that we came to this text for this week.
You know— Malachi has been a tough book.
What I mean is that it has been a steady diet of charges against Israel.
I’ve told you— Malachi was a prophet who wrote to the people of Israel during the time when Israel was being disobedient.
So Malachi on behalf of God, is coming to confront that disobedience.
And so when God confronts something, he does so in truth.
He explains what is going wrong and how the people have broken His Law.
And what I want you to think about this morning is that it’s actually a gracious and merciful thing that God would step in to tell his people what they’ve done wrong.
Why would that be merciful? Because his desire is that they would hear, and listen, and turn from their sin and return to him.
And in the same way, for us today, it is a merciful thing for God to drill into the deep corners of our heart to reveal where we may be in sin.
And so, As you listen to this sermon or any other— If you find yourself convicted of sin—if you are sensitive to the Word, then I want you to know that I praise God for that.
That is a testament to God’s mercy.
I believe when that happens it is the mark of a regenerate heart. A heart soft to the working of the spirit of God.
It could be the opposite. You could listen this morning, and feel nothing.
I think we all know this—
We live in a world that has become desensitized to sin.
What I mean by that is that the world at large does not care about offending God.
In Scripture, there are times when that happens, when people reject and harden their hearts, they’ve rejected the Word of God so long, that God in judgment gives them over to what they want.
Paul in Romans 1 describes this
Listen to what he said—
For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.
Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves,
And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.
In other words, if people continually reject God, if they continually live for themselves and their own desires, God in judgment will let them go their own way.
In judgment, He gives them over.
So there are two options when people are in sin. God can speak them and call them back, or in judgment, he can hand them over to it.
And so when God speaks and addresses sin, its merciful.
In Malachi, the people are in rebellion, but here is the good news—God is still speaking.
In His mercy and in His grace, he has sent a prophet to warn them.
SDFS
And …. In His mercy and in His grace, God has placed Malachi’s prophecy before us this morning.
And so as you listen to the passage today, I think we will find that we are not that far from Malachi’s day when it comes to marriage.
You know— in human time, the first institution ever created by God was the institution of marriage.
And when God set marriage up, He intended that marriage would provide a few things for us.
This list isn’t exhaustive, but here are five things I believe God intended for us.
Marriage is the clearest earthly picture of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is a living parable.
Marriage is suppose to be a place of companionship. Being together.
The Lord Himself said in, Genesis 2:18 “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
I have found Lauren to be for me a gracious gift from God. She helps me. She provides comfort to me. She objectively makes my life easier and better.
Marriage is also the place where our God given physical desires and needs are met.
Physical and even sexual desire is a gift from God, BUT those are meant to be fulfilled within the context of marriage.
Whenever these things are pursued outside the context of marriage, the result is destruction and chaos.
Illustration—
Whenever it was cold this past week, I drove past several homes that had a fire going in their homes.
And so long as that fire was maintained in the fire place. It was a comfort, a warming presence that made life more enjoyable. But fire outside the place where it is meant in that same home would have been destructive.
So too God has made a place for physical and even sexual desires. The fire place—Marriage.
Any other place that people try and fulfill those desires will be destructive.
Any pursuit of sexual desire outside of marriage is not God’s design.
Marriage is the home for those physical desires. Any other time those desires are pursued apart from marriage, there will be guilt, shame, and chaos.
The third thing marriage is for is babies. Babies are a good thing. I long for the day, where we have to build on to that nursery over there.
One of the purpose of godly marriages is godly children being had and raised by those who are godly.
One of the first commands given to the first man and woman is Genesis 1:28 “And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.”
Children are a blessing to a family. And marriage is the place where children are to be raised and brought up in the Lord.
Finally, marriage is intended by God to contribute to the good of society as a whole.
I believe when Satan seeks to destroy a society, the first place he starts is the homes. the marriages.
Those 5 purposes are good things that God designed, and so, its no surprise, that Satan takes aim at marriage and all of these purposes.
Marriage is meant to be a picture of the Gospel.
If Satan can’t mangle marriage, it mangles the picture.
Marriage is meant to be a place of companionship, and so he seeks to drive a wedge in that.
Marriage is meant to be the place where sexual physical desires are met, and so he convinces us that well you don’t have to get married. you can find it elsewhere. You don’t have to do it God’s way.
Marriage is meant to produce babies, and so Satan takes aim at that convincing us that babies are burdens rather than a blessing.
Healthy marriages contribute to healthy societies, and so Satan seeks to rip it apart.
Satan has always came after marriage. Because everything God loves Satan hates.
And everything God hates Satan loves
From the beginning, to Malachi, to now.
Pick up with me in verse 10—
Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers?
Malachi takes them back to the fact that God is the creator.
God is father.
And yes this is generally true of all peoples.
In a sense, everybody can say this.
But it is specifically and graciously true of Israel in a covenant sense.
God has adopted Israel.
God called Israel his firstborn, son— and so he is uniquely their father.
Israel is my firstborn son,
SDFS
Now what this fatherhood means is important as well.
In this relationship God had called His people to be a distinct people— separated from the world and its desires.
While every other nation in the world lived according to their own desires and the worldly norms, Israel was called to come out of that and be separate from it.
This is the same thing God expects of the church today.
This is not to suggest that the world is not held to the same standard. God will judge the nations according to his standard.
But the people of God are to be different.
God’s people are to live according to God’s desires and God’s design.
But here was the problem—
They had adopted the worldly norm.
Specifically with regard to marriage.
God says they were faithless toward one another.
This word faithless, which appears 5 times in this passage, means to break the covenant that you have with one another.
Essentially, he’s saying to the nation of Israel, you were to be a people of faithfulness.
You were to be a people of truth in your covenant.
And you of all people should know who God is and the faithfulness of God
But you are be faithless. You are breaking your covenant with each other just like the world does.
Listen to what he continues to say. Verse 11-12.
Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god. May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts!
So here we have the specific sin laid out.
And that is God’s covenant people have chosen to unite in marriage with unbelievers.
Judah has chosen to marry the daughters of foreign gods.
In other words rather than marrying other like-minded like hearted people who also worship the true and living God, Judah has decided to marry idol worshipers.
They are marrying people who do not worship God.
Throughout scripture, we see God has a standard for believers, and who believers should marry.
Listen to what the Lord said…
You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, [WHY?] for they would turn away your sons from following me, to serve other gods. Then the anger of the Lord would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you quickly.
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
Why does he tell us this in the OT and the NT?
The reason God issued a command to the nation of Israel that prohibited them from marrying within the Canaanite tribes what to prevent his people from being let us stray into idol worship.
The Canaanites served idols. Israel served the one true and living God.
In the NT, its much the same.
Christians worship God. Those who don’t… well The two do not mix.
And so Malachi is calling out Judah for doing precisely what God had prohibited them from doing.
But keep going in the text. Verse 13..
You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?”
They are still going through the motions of worship, and They can’t figure out why God isn’t accepting their worship.
They want God’s blessing, while they neglect God’s commands.
They’re trying to hold the hand of God with one hand and they’re trying to hold the hand of idols with the other.
They fill the altar of sacrifice with tears wondering why God won’t bless them, why won’t God accept my worship? why does God feel distant??
God hadn’t moved.
They had moved. They had been disobedient.
God says here through the prophet Malachi may God cut off the one who does this.
But there’s more.
You ever been talking with someone and the more they tell you the worse it gets. This is Malachi…
Not only have they married the daughters of foreign gods. Not only are they trying to worship God while harboring sin in their heart.
Listen to what else they did in verses 13 and following.
Remember they asked why God wasn’t accepting their offerings… Listen to what he says
But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
You see, it wasn’t that they just married the wives of foreign gods.
That would’ve been bad enough.
They divorced their own wives (The wife of their youth) to do so.
In other words, they left their marriages that were to women within the covenant people of God that they had married previously to go and join themselves to idol worshiping women.
And the Lord says, I saw that.
Not only did God see it, he was intimately apart of their marriage.
Look at verse 15.
Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union?
Church family there is something sacred about marriage.
There’s something spiritual about marriage.
There’s a portion in the ceremony at the beginning and at the end, where a Christian pastor says something.
At the beginning, the pastor says something like this…
He says—
Dearly beloved, we have gathered today in the sight of God and in the presence of these witnesses to join this man and this woman and holy matrimony.
And at the end, the pastor says something to the effect-
By the power vested in me by the state of South Carolina, and here is the important part, and looking unto God for sanction, I declare that this man and this woman, are husband and wife.
And then there’s a statement made that goes all the way back to Jesus —Matthew 19:5–6 “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.””
That is the final word in the ceremony.
Marriage is not a contract that you decide between yourselves what you’re going to do for each other.
It is a covenant in the sight of God himself who bears witness to your promises that you make to each other.
And He himself is apart of making the two one.
Malachi says here, God was a witness to your covenant.
And God has a goal. What did God intend?
Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.
God says, the goal is godly offspring.
When this doesn’t happen God’s way, it’s destructive.
God says guard yourselves in Spirit. This is a spiritual battle.
Fundamentally the battle for your marriage is not a physical battle, its not an emotional battle primarily.
It’s a spiritual one.
Guard your spirit he says.
There is an enemy who would love to kill your soul.
And if you allow him to infiltrate, it will be ugly.
“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Guard it.
Marriage is a big deal.
It’s a special thing.
When it’s done right it is the clearest earthly picture of the gospel.
And beloved, hear me…. I know what our culture says about marriage.
I know that every single thing I’ve said this morning has flown into the face of what culture says is acceptable and what culture says is right and wrong.
TNDR
But we need to hear this and take it to heart- God does not change his standard based upon worldly standards.
Marriage as God intended it is still to be between one man and one woman. And those genders are not fluid. Your gender is not a social construct. Your gender is by Divine design.
Marriage for believers is to be with other believers.
Marriage is still meant to be a lifelong commitment to the same person.
Husbands you are to love your wives like Christ love the church.
Wives submit to your husband as the church does to Christ.
This is the way God intended it.
So as we apply this text, I think there are probably several categories of people here in the room this morning.
Maybe you are a young person here this morning, and you are not married.
What a wonderful that you are here this morning to hear this passage that clearly tell you what you are to look for.
I think its clear in this passage— God cares about who his people marry.
Young people, it matters who you choose as a spouse.
The first question you should ask someone is this— Is Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior of your life?
If they say no, the conversation is over about dating or anything close.
If they are half hearted.. Well …you know, I go to church.
Young ladies, tell him it was nice to meet him and kindly leave and find someone who loves the Lord.
Young men, if she is half hearted, thank her for talking and leave and find someone who loves the Lord.
We must understand something—
If they are half hearted in their commitment and faithfulness to the one they claim is their Lord and their savior, How do you think that their faithfulness and commitment will be to you?
Young people find someone who loves the Lord.
Daughters.
If you are Christian, that is the most important thing about you.
Your relationship with the Lord. That is the most important thing about you.
The Bible indicates that the second most important relationship you will ever be in is the relationship you will have with your spouse.
How could I say that the most important relationship in my life is my God but then go and choose for a spouse someone that does not know, love, and cherish my God?
The Scripture is clear.
Marry someone who follows God.
Don’t settle for worldly idol worshipers.
I know that those who follow God are few and far between.
But for heaven sakes, do not settle for anything less than that.
Now, married people. I want to talk to you for a moment.
These principles are for all married.
You may be in here and your marriage is great. You are married to a believer. Things are well. Praise God, still you have to guard your marriage and your spirit.
Or you may be in here and you say you know what, I know the Lord, but I’m not sure my spouse does. These principles are unchanged. I believe this is what God expects from and for us,
Let me apply this text for us and give you four things here to takeaway.
The greatest single thing I can do for Lauren. The greatest single thing she can do for me is to walk closely with God.
I don’t think I am over speaking to say this— Most of the time in Christian marriage, the underlying issue in marital problem is that one or both have neglected to walk with God closely.
They’ve left their Bible unread. They do not pray. They neglect the regular meeting together. Rather than walking with God, they walk in sin.
The greatest thing I can do for Lauren is to prayerfully submit myself every day to God’s Word.
I will love her the best, care for her best, be the husband God intended me to be only through His power.
The second greatest thing that we can do for our spouse is to honor our covenant to them before God by sacrificially giving up ourselves for them.
In other words, I have to die to myself.
The main passage in the New Testament that speaks about marriage speaks of both the husband and the wife sacrificially loving the other.
Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,”
Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”
The day you get married, you have willingly covenanted before God and witnesses that you will no longer think only of yourself first.
I’m convinced every problem in marriage stems from the sin of selfishness. Thinking of myself first.
The third greatest thing I can do is Acknowledge my sin and repent of my sin.
If I am wrong, I need to admit that to God and to her.
And I need to repent of it.
The wedding day is all well and good and beautiful and all that lovey dovey stuff, “It was the perfect day.”
But here is the truth— The day you got married, two sinners moved in together, and the Lord may bless that union, and you produce more people who are also sinners.
In a Christian home, the regular Christian practices of confessing of sin and repenting of sin has to happen.
Husbands, lead in this.
If you leave sin unaddressed, it will destroy your marriage.
The last thing— Pursue each other in marriage.
I heard a preacher say one time talking to a group of men: He said “Men, we only have enough time, energy, and money to chase one woman. Just making sure you are chasing the right one.”
Husbands focus on your wife. Pursue her.
Go on dates. Do thing for her. Ladies, Pursue Him. Love each other.
Finally, I want to speak to another group.
Maybe you are in here today and you are single.
Some are single by choice, or in God’s providence, you haven’t found a spouse yet.
OR Some of you may have experienced a troubled marriage that may have ended in the past.. it could have been failures maybe of yourself or of your spouse.
I want to be clear this morning.
Divorce is not the unforgivable sin. Sometimes its treated that way in the church.
I think that is ABSOLUTELY wrong.
I believe there is Grace and forgiveness in Christ for every sin to the one who looks to him in faith and trust.
In fact, maybe you need to hear this message again. Preach the Gospel.
Those who believe in him..
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Take heart in who Christ says you are.
If you are single today, find your identity in Him.
I think at times, there is a wrong thought that single people are somehow less without a spouse.
That isn’t true. Walk with God and find your identity in him.
But if you looking for someone, as hard as it is, maintain the biblical standards in looking for someone.
Date Only believers.
Beloved, hear me this morning, I know this has been a tough message.
But I hope you know I love you and I wouldn’t be loving you well if I didn’t tell you what God says about this matter.
Also, remember how we began, if God hits us in the heart with a message, its his mercy.
If we, by the precise cutting of Word of God, become increasingly sensitive to our own failures and our sins before God, that is a good thing so long as it leads us to toward the Gospel.
Marriage is so important because marriage is the picture of the Gospel. As I said earlier, it is a living parable.
Satan can’t destroy the Gospel, but he do his best to mangle and mar the picture that God has given as the earthly picture .
Let’s guard our marriages together.
Pray.
