For the Common Good Pt. 12

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 NASB 2020

Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. 5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, (V6-7) it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Allow me to begin this afternoon with a simple question: how many of you here use Google as your main search engine? Like if you have a question, you normally go to Google in order to find an answer? (Most of us) Now I did some research and here are some of the questions people have been asking in the last 30 days.

In the last 30 days over 3 million people asked Google, “What time is it?” Over 3.4 million ppl asked “Where’s my refund?” Nearly 290,000 asked Google how to tie a tie. Over 140,000 people recently searched how to delete my account on Instagram. Over 50,000 people just wanted to know how old Taylor Swift is and over 46,000 wanted to know what time Walmart closes. In other words for most inquiries, our instinct is to search—and Google has become the place we go to in order to find answers. So, for today’s sermon, I did what most people in our culture would do. I Googled the word love.

And more specifically, I asked: how often do people use google’s search engine seeking an answer to the question, “What is love?” And here’s what I found out.

The word love and related questions like “what is love?” are searched approximately 550,000 times a month. This adds up to about 6.6 million searches a year—and that’s just on one search engine. In the United States alone, the word love is searched roughly 1.2 million times a month.

And honestly, this shouldn’t surprise us. Our culture is saturated with love language without clarity. In order to highlight this reality I would like to invite you on a short journey with me—we’re not going to go back thousands of years—but just about fifty years of musical history. (Culture is shaped by entertainment)

In the 1960s, the message was simple: Released in 1967 according to John Lennon, all you need is love, love is all you need. No definitions required. Love is the answer, and in the song John tells us it’s easy.

However when we move into the 70s, that confidence begins to fade. By 1976, The rock band Queen isn’t declaring anything—through their song “Somebody to love,” they’re actually asking the question: Can anybody find me somebody to love? For Queen the issue isn’t what love is, but where it can be found.

This brings us to the 80s, where the confusion becomes explicit. In 1984, the rock band Foreigner isn’t proclaiming love or even chasing it—they’re simply admitting, we have no idea what love is anymore. So, they sing “I want to know what love is.”

However just a couple of years later, in 1986, we see a shift—not toward an answer, but toward a new direction. As Whitney Houston comes out with the song Greatest Love of All. In this song the question isn’t answered by defining love outwardly—but by redefining it inwardly. According to Whitney the greatest love of all, is learning to love yourself.

Then we arrive at the 90s, where love becomes deeply emotional and expressive. Through the soundtrack of the the bodyguard Whitney Houston declares, “I Will Always Love You.” This means that in the 90’s Love is powerful, intense, deeply felt—however still undefined.

In the 2000s, love turns inward. When Beyonce and Jay Z come out with the song, Crazy in Love. Now love is passionate, consuming, identity-shaping—and centered on how it makes me feel. “You Love got me looking so crazy”

And by the 2010s, love becomes self-defined. In 2015 Justin Bieber comes out with the song, Love Yourself. So, now love is no longer about giving—it’s about affirmation. It’s no longer about sacrifice—it’s about self.

And here we are in 2026—and people are still searching. Googling. Still asking the same question. What is love? But here’s the problem: If love is all we need… If according to Lennon it’s supposed to be easy, then why does it feel so elusive, so confusing? Beloved the reality is that our society hasn’t just talked about love—they have redefined it.

We’ve taken the word, emptied it of its source, and filled it with our own desires. We slap the label “love” on whatever we want affirmed, justified, or celebrated. Even major cultural slogans reduce love to little more than personal fulfillment.

And the result is a distorted version of love that often looks nothing like the thing we’re longing for. We describe our experience with love the same way we describe our experience in an accident—we fall in (into) love when it feels right, and fall out of love when it doesn’t. And this is the reason why we cannot start with Google. We cannot start with culture. We cannot even start with our feelings. If we want to understand love, we must to go to its source.

And that’s precisely what the apostle Paul does in 1 Corinthians 13 as he writes to a church that was gifted, active, and confident—however deeply fractured and divided—here Paul doesn’t give them a feeling to chase or a slogan to repeat. Paul provides them a definition.

So today, as we come to verses 4 through 7, Paul answers the question our world keeps Googling: What is love? And what we’re going to see is the following: Biblical love is not defined by what we feel—it is revealed by how we live. And it is only understood when it is rooted in God Himself. Cause love is not a feeling we fall into; it is a way of life that reflects the character of God.

So, today in order to answer this question we must understand that Paul is not merely describing what love should look like in theory. Paul is actually describing the love that has already been revealed in Christ—and now he calls the church to walk in it.

This means that before we ever see this love lived out in our own lives, we must first see it revealed in Christ. And that’s what we’re going to do today. We’re going to look at Christ in the definition of love. And for that reason, Paul begins where love itself begins.

I. Love Begins With Patience and Kindness

(V4) Love is patient, love is kind. (This is what love is)

As we reach V4 Paul begins with the definition of love.

1. When Paul says that love is patient, he is describing a love that is long-suffering, forbearing, and slow to retaliate.

This is not passive indifference—it is active restraint. And this is important. Why? because if there is one thing that our culture lacks today, it is patience.

We live in a world designed for immediacy:

We want immediate answers

We want immediate relief

We want immediate results

We desire immediate self-gratification

If we are sick we want medicine that works instantly, If we’re overweight, we want solutions that work right now, not a process that takes time, If we are hungry we want food that arrives quickly and If we order something, we expect it to show up overnight.

And when there’s even a slight delay, we complain. If our flight is delayed, we post about it. If our service is slow, we grow frustrated. And yet, just a hundred years ago, travel took days, sometimes weeks. What now feels like an inconvenience would have been considered a miracle. Never in human history have people received things faster—and yet never have we seemed more dissatisfied.

And unfortunately this is the same impatience that we bring into our relationships. Paul is writing to a divided church—believers frustrated with one another, rejecting one another, giving themselves over to selfishness and responding harshly. And Paul says: that is not love.

Love does not rush people along.

2. Love does not discard people when they are slow to change.

3. Love waits for God to do what only He can do.

That’s why Romans 12 calls us to bless those who persecute us, to refuse retaliation, and to leave room for God’s justice. And nowhere do we see this patience more clearly displayed than through Christ’s interaction with Peter: In Matthew 26:34 Jesus turns to Peter and says:

Matthew 26:34–35 NASB 2020

“Truly I say to you that this very night, before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” Peter said to Him, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!” All the disciples said the same thing as well.

This is the setting and then Luke takes us into that moment. In Luke 22, after Jesus is arrested, Peter follows Him—but at a distance. They arrive at the courtyard of the high priest, and Peter sits among the crowd. Luke tells us that a servant girl looks closely at Peter and says to him, “This man also was with Him.” Peter denies it: “Woman, I do not know Him.”

A little later, someone else recognizes him. “You are one of them.” Again Peter says, “Man, I am not.” About an hour passes. Another man insists, “Certainly this man was with Him, for he too is a Galilean.” And Peter replies, “I do not know what you are talking about.” (Other gospels / cuss) And at that very moment—while Peter is still speaking—the rooster crows.

And now Luke gives us a detail that stops us in our tracks.

Luke 22:61 NASB 2020

And then the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had told him, “Before a rooster crows today, you will deny Me three times.”

Put yourself in that moment. While Jesus is being mocked, beaten, and falsely accused—He sees Peter’s denial with His own eyes. Witnesses his betrayal. This is love wounded at its deepest point. (How many here have ever felt betrayed?) As Peter remembers the words of Jesus. Scripture tells us that “he went out and wept bitterly.”

The question is then, what now? in Peter’s case he returns to fishing. He goes back to what he knows. As if to say, “I’m done. Who could still love me after that?” And yet—what I want us to see is that love is patient.

After the resurrection, Jesus does not confront Peter with anger. Our Lord does not shame him publicly. He does not discard him as disqualified. What did Jesus do?

Jesus seeks him out. Prepares breakfast for him. And with gentleness, He restores him—by asking him three times, “Do you love Me?” Our Savior did not discard Peter. Why? Because love is patient.

However love is not only patient—love is kind and:

4. Kindness is patience put into action.

Kindness is mercy expressed. It is compassion that moves towards broken people rather than away from them. We see this reality pictured in:

Romans 5:8 NASB 2020

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Paul says in Romans 12:20

Romans 12:20 NASB 2020

“But if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink;

Because,

5. Kindness is love choosing to respond with grace when it has every right to respond harshly.

And again, Christ models this perfectly. For Jesus does not merely wait for sinners—He moves toward them.

1 Peter 2:10 NASB 2020

for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. (This right here is a quote from the book of the prophet Hosea - Where God calls the prophet to pursue and take back his adulterous wife) Which means that in His loving kindness our Lord:

Restores the fallen.

He heals the broken.

He meets people in their failure with compassion.

And here’s the question we must ask ourselves: How are we loving people? Are we patient with one another—or demanding immediate change? Are we kind—or easily irritated and quick to withdraw?

6. If love is patient and kind, this means that love does not rush people towards change before God has finished His work.

And this matters—because impatience is often what ends relationships prematurely.

In marriages, impatience sounds like: “You should be further along by now.”

In friendships, it sounds like: “I’m tired of explaining myself.”

In the church, it sounds like: “I don’t have time for people like that.”

7. Love that refuses patience will never practice kindness.

And the result is that:

In marriages, we end up getting divorced instead of fighting for the relationship.

In friendships, we end up withdrawing emotionally. (break off)

In the church, we give up instead of bearing with one another.

But Christ has not loved us that way.

He did not abandon us when our growth was slow.

He does not walk away from us when fail in our obedience to Him.

He does not withhold His kindness from us until we prove ourselves worthy.

Church, nothing truly worthwhile in this life happens instantly. Growth takes time. Healing takes time. Maturity takes time. And

8. Christ loves us not by rushing us into maturity—but by patiently and lovingly walking with us towards it.

Romans 2:4 NASB 2020

Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and restraint and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?

Love is patient. Love is kind. And Christ has shown us exactly what that love looks like. And this brings us to the second way we see love revealed through Christ.

II. Love Walks in Humility, Not Self-Exaltation

Text: “Love is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit;

Paul now shifts gears.

9. After telling us what love is, he begins to tell us what love is not. And he does this by stacking several words together, that might mean different things but sort of orbit the same idea.

Love does not envy - Envy here mean resentment. Being angry that someone else has what I want.

Love does not brag - This word brag means to heap praise on oneself, to draw attention to personal achievement.

Love is not arrogant - Literally, “puffed up.” An inflated view of self that looks down on others.

Love does not act disgracefully (is not rude) - Love does not dishonor others. Love does not demean others, it does not treat people as obstacles or interruptions or as objects to be used for one’s own benefit.

Love does not seek its own benefit - In other words Love does not make personal fulfillment the ultimate goal.

Again Paul is not saying five different things—in essence he is saying the same thing in five different ways.

10. And what he exposes here is simple: love does not revolve around the self.

(Whitney is wrong!)

We are often told that the root of our problem is that we don’t love ourselves enough—that love begins by turning inward. Even well-meaning advice tells us, “You have to take care of yourself first before you can care for others.” However this is not the Biblical vision of love. Scripture never presents self-love as the solution. Instead, the gospel tells us that the key to loving others freely is not learning to love ourselves more, but knowing that we are already loved in Christ.

11. And then when we know we are loved—fully, freely, and securely in Christ—we are no longer chasing love from others to fill what is missing.

Our identity is settled. Our worth is established. And that frees us to love without envy, without arrogance, without pride, without rudeness, and without constantly seeking our own benefit. We don’t have to grasp, compete, or posture—because we know who we are and to whom we belong.

And the reality is that this is not how our world defines love. Our culture measures love almost entirely by what we receive. When relationships begin to fracture, the language is revealing. People say things like:

“I’m not being fulfilled anymore.”

“I’m not getting what I need.”

“This relationship no longer serves me.”

In other words for our world love becomes transactional. If it stops benefiting me, I walk away. But Paul says, that is not love. Love does not ask, “What am I getting out of this?” Love asks, “How can I serve?” So, Love considers others before self.

So, here’s the question we must ask ourselves:

When love becomes difficult, do we become demanding—or humble?

In marriage: Do I insist on being understood, or am I willing listen in order to understand?

In friendships: Do I compete for attention, or do I celebrate the achievements of others?

In the church: Do I seek recognition, or am I looking for ways to serve others?

And once again, Christ is the clearest picture of this kind of love. In Philippians 2 Paul exhorts the church at Philippi:

Philippians 2:3–4 NASB 2020

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

The language used here in Philippians 2 is unmistakably similar to 1 Corinthians 13.

Love is not self-seeking.

Love is not arrogant.

Love does not seek it’s own benefit.

And if we’re honest, this is where many of us struggle. Putting the interests of others ahead of our own does not come naturally. It goes against our instincts. So the question is not whether this is difficult—but how it is even possible.

And Paul answers that question in verse 5:

Philippians 2:5 NASB 2020

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,

In other words, this is not a strategy to adopt—it is a life we receive. And Paul immediately points us to Christ.

In verses 6 through 8, Paul shows us that although Christ existed in the form of God, He did not consider equality with God something to be used for His own advantage. Christ did not demand recognition. He did not assert His status. Instead, He emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, and humbled Himself to the point of death—even death on a cross.

No envy.

No boasting.

No arrogance.

No self-seeking.

12. And the reality is this: if anyone ever had the right to exalt Himself, it was Christ—yet He chose humility.

Beloved, this is love.

And before going to the cross, Jesus Himself defines love this way. In John 15:13, He tells His disciples:

John 15:13 NASB 2020

Greater love has no one than this, that a person will lay down his life for his friends.

Jesus knew what was coming, He was about to go the cross on their behalf and He also knew that:

Judas would betray Him.

That Peter would deny Him.

And that the rest of the disciples would scatter and leave Him alone.

And yet knowing this in John 13:1 we are told that:

John 13:1 NASB 2020

Jesus, knowing that His hour had come that He would depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.

So how do we respond to this kind of love? Paul tells us in:

Ephesians 5:1–2 NASB 2020

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, (How?) just as Christ also loved you (How did Christ love us?) and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

We see the same principle in Galatians 2:20, Paul shows us how this type of love can become a way of life:

Galatians 2:20 NASB 2020

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me (How?) and gave Himself up for me.

That’s the foundation. When we behold Christ, better yet

13. When we behold the love of Christ:

- His humility destroys our pride.

- His sacrifice silences our selfishness.

- His love shapes our love.

And because Christ has already walked the path of humble love, we now seek to walk in it as well.

My desire was to walk through all of these verses together this afternoon, however for the sake of time—and because this passage deserves careful attention—we’re going to slow down.

There are three more aspects of love that Paul gives us here: how love reshapes the way we handle conflict, how love is committed to righteousness and truth, and how love perseveres even when the cost is high. So we’re going to divide verses 4 through 7 into two parts, and we’ll return next week to finish unpacking what Paul is showing us.

So as we bring this first part to a close, we can already answer the question our world keeps asking: What is love? According to Scripture, love is not a feeling we fall into and fall out of. Love is not driven by envy, pride, arrogance, or self-seeking. Love is not centered on the self.

Paul tells us that love begins with patience and kindness. It waits. It bears with others. It moves toward people with compassion rather than rushing past them. And Paul also shows us that love walks in humility, refusing self-exaltation, refusing to compete, refusing to demand recognition.

And Christ has shown us exactly what this love looks like.

He was patient with weak disciples.

He was kind to failing sinners.

He did not cling to His rights.

He did not assert His status.

He humbled Himself and laid down His life.

So, when Scripture answers the question “What is love?” it doesn’t point us inward—it points us to Christ.

14. And because Christ has already walked the path of humble love, we do not walk it to earn God’s favor—we walk it because its already ours through Him.

We love patiently and kindly not to prove ourselves, but because we are secure. We refuse envy and pride not out of fear, but out of freedom.

This is the love Paul calls the church to walk in. This is the love the world cannot define. And this is the love we will continue to unpack when we return to this text next week.