Making HIS Love Language Your Love Language

2/8/2026

So before we begin this morning, I want to ask you all to relax. This morning, I don’t want you to worry about the 3 points. In fact, the points this morning will be whatever you want them to be. I only ask that you be open and allow the Spirit of God to move and ultimately have fun. Today, we’re talking about Making His Love Language Our Love Language. Give Honor to God, Our Pastor and First Family. The Bridge, The MPBC members and my exclusive and esteemed brothers of the Wild Bunch Bible Study; the only Bible Study that requires an SOP.

Go with me to Genesis 24:12–22 “Lord, God of my master Abraham,” “make this happen for me today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. I am standing here at the spring where the daughters of the men of the town are coming out to draw water. Let the girl to whom I say, ‘Please lower your water jug so that I may drink,’ and who responds, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels also’—let her be the one you have appointed for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” Before he had finished speaking, there was Rebekah. She went down to the spring, filled her jug, and came up. Then the servant ran to meet her and said, “Please let me have a little water from your jug.” She replied, “Drink, my lord.” She quickly lowered her jug to her hand and gave him a drink. When she had finished giving him a drink, she said, “I’ll also draw water for your camels until they have had enough to drink.” She drew water for all his camels while the man silently watched her to see whether or not the Lord had made his journey a success. As the camels finished drinking, the man took and gave her a gold ring, and for her wrists two bracelets ” ,Genesis 24:26–27 “Then the man knelt low, worshiped the Lord, and said, “Blessed be the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not withheld his kindness and faithfulness from my master. As for me, the Lord has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.”

I want to thank my Uncle Les Coates for leading me to this message today. About a week or so ago, I was having a day; funny enough as I was checking in with him with a text he texted me and asked how I was. Being honest it was one of those days that you don’t like your spouse. Over the past 13 years we been through some stuff. I remember in our first counseling session they had us take the Gottman Test, which showed our marriage was at the 4 Horseman of the Apocolypse. That’s as bad as it gets. I don’t claim to be perfect but I have been told I am a morning person, I have way too much energy and am exceedingly needy 47% of the time. I would be lying if I did not give credit to the Lord and Marriage Counseling for while we’re still together, but on this particular day; I couldn’t see my therapist. I don’t think he knew it, but Les was spot on in his advice and encouragement. He talked to me about the journey that marriage is and paraphrasing but every now and then we have to make sure we still have the Lord with us on that journey. In 1992, Pastor Gary Chapman wrote a book to help with that journey.

Baptist Pastor Gary Chapman wrote the best-selling book 5 Love Languages in 1992. This book was based on observations and many interactions within the church. Analyzing his work he took what he saw as conversations and issues that would arise in marriage counseling or premarital counseling and decided to address them in a novel. Seems like a novel idea (Juby Dick Ricard told me that joke) His focus or ambition was to create model that we who are relationships learn how to communicate with those we love. Why? Even more than finance, communication or the lack thereof is the leading cause of divorce. Knowing this Pastor Chapman focused on areas that needed attention or to be address saw them as the way we speak through love. The love languages he listed was Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. He then would make recommendations regarding who should be aligned or matched up with who based on what their love languages were.

Pastor Chapman saw a problem and in his disappointment and despair determined destruction awaited couples without some sort of intervention. He did not consider himself divine; so it wasn’t divine intervention in his intention or desires he was using his experience from those marriage counseling sessions, using his testimony to save broken families and marriages. What he did not anticipate from us, the modernized children of Israel who have been grafted in is that we would eagerly elevate and find equity in his work and Gods Word of God.

Our desires for quick fixes, our impatience diminishes value of our faith to us in certain situations. We dont’ think from a faith based perspective when we want something bad enough; because our first thought is to get it ourselves. Meaning, we dont go rely on God until after we relied on ourselves. Look at how we scheme someThing we want…Imagine what we are willing to do for the someOne we want. Ain’t gotta know her whole name; you just met her one day and gave her nickname mess around change the whole scenary off that one time and now she calling me. But marriages, relationships, even situationships change dramatically when she goes from nameless or a nickname to knowing her whole name. This is what Chatman saw. But him identifying different ways that we feel love was never intended to replace God’s love. Somehow now, we put a precursor in our conversations we ask; When is your birthday? What’s your signs? (Don’t worry I’m working on Signs, Sage, and Charades for First Friday right now), What do you do? Whats your goals? What’s your love language? But rarely do we ask what do you believe until after numbers and time have been exchanged. I believe this happens because when we see someOne we want. We will forget or evade, what He wants. David didn’t have to set up Uriah. But Bathsheba was a baddie. We make decisions based on dopamine more than we decisions in the spirit. Everybody wants to be liked, Everybody wants to be valued, Everybody wants to be loved. But it is important that we weigh what love is, because our love is subjective. And so was and is Pastor Chapman’s Love Language.

This is why we have to be careful about our sources and what we give authority to. There are many sources. There is one authoritative source. There are many tools. There is one authoritative tool.

What is different about Rebekah’s encounter with the servant is the foundation or the purpose of the practice. Chapman Love language was We believe in love languages was to get you chose and to stay chose, Rebekah’s love language was based on her being chosen. Our anchor is emotional; Rebekah’s anchor is the Divine. There is nothing wrong with knowledge but the authority and order we place it in. I’m not saying Pastor Chapman’s Love Languages are bad; I’m just saying many of us got them in the wrong order. And this fear of getting it wrong; is actually what causes us to not get it right. Let me walk this thing in a circle for you.

One of my favorite things to watch on YouTube is Pop the Ballon or Find love. On the show they line up at least 7 or 8 potential suitors, then they bring in the person who is interested in finding somebody. Now those standing with balloon can pop immediately or wait a little and see where the conversation goes. Now, I’m not gon lie they ask some very good questions sometimes. Men and women both pop for the craziest things. Sometimes the person takes a single step in the room and you will hear several pops. Folks playing with Bubble Wrap. They haven’t heard them say anything, and they respond. “It’s the fit for me.” It’s the hair for me. It’s the height for me. It’s the complexion for me. It’s the job for me. It’s the age for me yeah I can only do 2 year difference positive or negative. What is your sign? What is your love language? In the few questions that are asked; I will admit they do ask quite a bit if the person goes to church. You do see some people pop on the answer to the question, but there are many times that people hear the answer they don’t want to hear and still say I can work with that. Or they will accept some form of spirituality, some form of faith, is okay and knowing it is not the faith of the living God. Perhaps the thought process is long term sanctification, but the reality is if you begin in compromising your faith; you might need to be concerned with you a little more than you are with that person. you will often hear replied I can work with that regardless of the belief structure. God did not call you or I to compromise His faith or His value, When Paul talks about Christian to Ephesus; He tells us that we should strive to do better, strive to be holy, and avoid the company (unless discipline) of those who doesn’t want to share the faith you have. Listen brothers and sisters, no one wants to be lonely but if your relationship or the person you are with constantly is pulling you away from who God has called you to be; ask yourself is it worth it.

Understand Rebekah story personified love languages; but who Rebekah was not speaking a love language. Let’s go back to the text. Genesis 24:18–20 ““Drink, my lord,” she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink. After she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have had enough to drink.” So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels.” This was an Act of Service. The servant then presents her with a gift Genesis 24:22 “When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels.” Her family offered the words of affirmation Genesis 24:60 “And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, “Our sister, may you increase to thousands upon thousands; may your offspring possess the cities of their enemies.” When Rebekah arrives, the quality time begins when she begins as she spends time with Isaac and his mother dies. The physical touch is indicated by her comforting him.

Rebekah actions personified love languages; but who Rebekah was not speaking a love language. Let me say this again, there is nothing wrong with acknowledging a certain type of communication works for you, but you should not try to check box and control what God has for you. They wasn’t speaking our kind of Love Language; they were speaking His kind of Love Language.

We are trying to comprehend something we can never fully understand. We are trying to engineer something that we are not enabled to cultivate. We spend so much time thinking we are able to or trying to control love that we are forgetting that to control love we would also have to control God. 1 John 4:15–17 “If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.” Now let’s see verse 18. 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” Verse 19 1 John 4:19 “We love because he first loved us.” That means all love comes from God and nothing from us. If you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ you don’t have to worry about controlling anything because just like the love that covered your salvation; it covers more than that too. He covers your children, He covers your parents, He covers your husband, He covers your wife, He covers your boo, He covers your bae.

This is why we must know and revere God according to His attributes. His natural attributes; His Omniscience, Omnipotence, Omnipresence, His Sovereignty, His Immutability. But when you know His attributes you understand the fullness of God, because God also has what we call Moral Attributes. The moral attributes are what we share with God. Really, as you are the people and people are entrusted as the church as the bride of Christ, moral attributes are what your marriage or relationships should look like. The moral attributes are Mercy, Holiness, Goodness, and Love.

Brothers and Sisters, Sisters and Brothers, Love is not pressed on anybody. Love is patient. Love does not beat you, Love is kind. Love does not molest you, Love will protect you, Love does not cheat, Love trust, Love does not give up, Love always hope. Love does not lose. Love perseveres. Because God is love love cannot fail. Love doesn’t call you to hate gay people, Love calls you to love all people. Some of you might lose a relationship, you might lose a situationship; you might get a divorce, but I want you to know this morning; Even when you get that divorce, the same Jesus that died for all the sin, died for that one too. Your wife might divorce you, your husband might divorce you, But I tell you who won’t divorce you. God won’t divorce you. Because God is love. Love is not for just the good time; but love is for a bad time.

But if we apply the things we share with God; His moral attributes, If we are Merciful, If we strive for Holiness, If we live in Goodness, are about obedience and Love we know that Love

When you know the love language of God; When you speak His Love language. It doesn’t just appear in your only initmate relationship. It appears in every relationship. It’s not just one action, but it is in every action. Titus 2:7–8 “In everything set them an example by doing what is good. You will be known by your fruit. You inward condition will reflect your outward living. When you speak His love language Ezekiel 36:26 “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; The Bible says 2 Corinthians 3:2–3 “You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.”

What I’m trying to tell you, Ephesians 4:22–24 “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

what is His Language God’s languages are Obedience and Love

Abraham entered a covenant with God, that’s is obedience

The servant swore and oath to Abraham, that is obedience

Rebekah accepting the servant’s offer, that is obedience

The family agreeing to send Rebekah that is obedience

Isaac crossing the field to Rebekah, that is love

Isaac marrying Rebekah; that is love

Rebekah comforting Isaac when his parents died; that is love

Rebekah birthing Isaac’s lineage; that is love

The lineage Christ who died for us; there is no greater love

If you’re going to Make His Love Language Your Love Language

There are a few steps that you must do;

Step 1. Obey His Command

Step 2. Love Everybody

Step 3. Obey His Command

Step 4. Love Everybody

Step 5. Obey His Command

Step 6. Love Everybody

Step 7. Obey His Command

Step 8. Love Everybody

Step 9. Obey His Command

Step 2=10. Love Everybody

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” You seek the Kingdom by obeying His commands. Wait that might be too complicated; let me simplify that; Cause if you do step number step 2 is already implied

Step 1. Obey His Commands

Step 1. Obey His Commands

Step 1. Obey His Commands

Step 1. Obey His Commands

Step 1. Obey His Commands

Step 1. Obey His Commands

Showtime!