20260208 Romans 9:6-13 Is It Worth the Pain and the Heartache?
Notice Paul’s use of the words “purpose” and “calls”—“that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not to him who works but of Him who calls.” In both instances he is referring to the one who elects. The decree came before the boys were born, before they had done any good or evil, to make certain that the purpose of God according to election might stand. Their election was based not on what the boys would do but on what God does. The decree was issued according to the purpose of God so that his purpose would be exalted and established. His purpose is the ground of election.
“Jacob I have loved”—Jacob, the supplanter, the liar, the one with very little to commend himself—“but Esau I have hated” (v. 13). Some say, “You are teaching that God hates people, and my minister told me that God loves everybody unconditionally.”
How do we deal with Paul’s words? I’ve written an entire book on just this verse, “Jacob I have loved, but Esau I have hated.” We have to be careful to distinguish between the various ways the Bible refers to the love of God. The Bible speaks of God’s universal love, that is, the love he has for all people. The first has to do with God’s love of benevolence. The word benevolence comes from the prefix bene-, which means “good” or “well,” and the word volēns, will, so benevolence means “good will.” God has a basic attitude of goodwill to all his creatures, and that posture or attitude of good is shown by his love of beneficence. God’s love of benevolence underlies God’s giving good gifts to people indiscriminately.
There is, however, a special dimension of God’s love, his love of complacency. It is a love that takes delight in the object of one’s affection. This is the love the Father has for the Son. Christ is the beloved, but the Father, in pouring out his love of complacency upon his only begotten Son, extends that love to all who are in Christ Jesus. Our adoption includes us in that special, redemptive love of God in a way that those outside the fellowship of Christ do not share.
The fact that God loved Jacob and hated Esau does not indicate that God had a malicious sense of odium within his being against Esau. God was not filled with loathing toward him, although there are times in the Old Testament where that kind of loathing is attributed to God against evildoers and impenitent people. Here we are seeing a love-hate contrast, which is intended to communicate the truth that those who receive only God’s benevolent love might consider it hatred when compared to God’s complacent love, because his benevolent love is such a lower degree of love.
Jesus spoke similarly when he said, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.” (Luke 14:26). Jesus was not advising his disciples to have an attitude of hostility toward their earthly parents. Jesus knew that people are called to honor their father and mother, something they certainly are not doing if they despise them. Jesus was making a comparison. Those who want to love him must love him before all others. Jesus requires that the love we have for our friends, spouse, mother, father, or children be so much less than the love we have for him that it could be seen as hatred.
Early on in the Old Testament Leah complained about Jacob’s lack of love for her; Jacob’s deepest affection was for Rachel. Rachel was the apple of his eye, yet he was married first to Leah through the chicanery of Leah’s father. Jacob was not cruel to Leah, but Leah said that she was hated by her husband (see Genesis 29–30 KJV). If you look at the context, she is saying that she knew herself to be second in terms of Jacob’s preference.
