The Cost of Control

The Cost of Control

Opening

Matthew 25:14–30

English Standard Version Chapter 25

14 “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17 So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27 Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30 And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

There’s a deception that often disguises itself as wisdom — the lie that control will keep us safe.

The Parable of the Talents

A. Faithful Servants (vv. 16–23)

The first two servants immediately steward what they’re given.

Their reward? Increase, responsibility, and joy.

B. The Fearful Servant (vv. 24–30)

"I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground." (v.25)

Fear led to hiding. Hiding led to loss.

The issue wasn’t just inactivity. It was a distorted view of the Master:

"Master, I knew you to be a hard man..." (v.24)

Personal questions:

How does fear distort your view of God?

Have you seen God as harsh, demanding, or distant?

If He is any of those things, you’ve built for yourself an untrue version of who He is!

The Progression of Control

Control partners with fear.

Fear breeds isolation.

Isolation produces rejection.

Rejection leads to chaos.

Teaching Point:

Control isn’t a part of the fruit of the Spirit.

It’s not trust.

It’s not obedience.

It’s self-preservation disguised as false wisdom.

Real Talk: If you try to control your family, your ministry, your calling, your future—anything the Lord has entrusted to you—you might as well give up while you’re ahead. Why?

Because: Control robs God of His place in your life.

It makes you the source. It puts you on the throne.

And the fruit of control is almost always the same: disconnection and disappointment.

You’ll wear yourself out trying to manage what only God can govern. You’ll lose relationships. You’ll feel distant from God. You’ll wonder why things feel so dry — and it’s because you’re no longer in the posture of trust, you’re in a posture of fear.

Clarifying the Healthy Side: There’s a difference between godly order and controlling behavior. Some of you are wired with a strong sense of boundaries. You thrive in structure. You’re dependable, you’re steady, you carry responsibility well. That’s beautiful — and biblical.

1 Corinthians 14:40

“But all things should be done decently and in order.”

Healthy control (better called stewardship) submits to the Spirit. It allows structure to serve intimacy — not replace it.

Contrast: The Way of the Kingdom

"Well done, good and faithful servant... Enter into the joy of your master." (v.21)

The Kingdom doesn’t advance through fearful preservation but through faithful trust.

Intimacy with God is impossible where control is operating.

2 Corinthians 3:17

"Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

Control blocks intimacy. Fear blocks freedom. Trust unlocks joy.

Challenge Question:

What have you buried that God gave you to multiply?

V. Abraham: The Portrait of Surrender

Text: Genesis 22:1–19

Some time later, God tested Abraham’s faith. “Abraham!” God called.

“Yes,” he replied. “Here I am.”

2 “Take your son, your only son—yes, Isaac, whom you love so much—and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will show you.”

3 The next morning Abraham got up early. He saddled his donkey and took two of his servants with him, along with his son, Isaac. Then he chopped wood for a fire for a burnt offering and set out for the place God had told him about. 4 On the third day of their journey, Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. 5 “Stay here with the donkey,” Abraham told the servants. “The boy and I will travel a little farther. We will worship there, and then we will come right back.”

6 So Abraham placed the wood for the burnt offering on Isaac’s shoulders, while he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them walked on together, 7 Isaac turned to Abraham and said, “Father?”

“Yes, my son?” Abraham replied.

“We have the fire and the wood,” the boy said, “but where is the sheep for the burnt offering?”

8 “God will provide a sheep for the burnt offering, my son,” Abraham answered. And they both walked on together.

9 When they arrived at the place where God had told him to go, Abraham built an altar and arranged the wood on it. Then he tied his son, Isaac, and laid him on the altar on top of the wood. 10 And Abraham picked up the knife to kill his son as a sacrifice. 11 At that moment the angel of the LORD called to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”

“Yes,” Abraham replied. “Here I am!”

12 “Don’t lay a hand on the boy!” the angel said. “Do not hurt him in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son.”

13 Then Abraham looked up and saw a ram caught by its horns in a thicket. So he took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering in place of his son. 14 Abraham named the place Yahweh-Yireh (which means “the LORD will provide”). To this day, people still use that name as a proverb: “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.”

15 Then the angel of the LORD called again to Abraham from heaven. 16 “This is what the LORD says: Because you have obeyed me and have not withheld even your son, your only son, I swear by my own name that 17 I will certainly bless you. I will multiply your descendants beyond number, like the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will conquer the cities of their enemies. 18 And through your descendants all the nations of the earth will be blessed—all because you have obeyed me.”

19 Then they returned to the servants and traveled back to Beersheba, where Abraham continued to live.

Abraham is asked to sacrifice Isaac — the very promise of God.

He didn’t question. He didn’t withhold. He didn’t fight for control. He trusted.

Key Revelation:

Abraham trusted the nature of God more than his understanding of the plan of God.

Parallels with the Talents Parable:

One man (Abraham) laid the promise on the altar and saw resurrection.

One man (the servant) buried the promise out of fear and lost everything.

Reflection Question:

Do I trust God enough to surrender the promise back to Him?

VI. The Results of Trust and Surrender

Genesis 22:12,18

"Now I know that you fear God..." "In your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice."

Abraham’s surrender led to multiplication and generational blessing.

The faithful servants' obedience led to increase and joy.

The fearful servant’s control led to loss and separation.

Declare:

Faithfulness looks like trust in motion. Surrender is not passivity — it’s obedience.

Matthew 16:25 (ESV)

"Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

Closing

Call to Action:

Renounce the lie that control equals safety.

Break partnership with fear.

Repent for where you’ve buried the very thing God called you to multiply.

Prayer

"Lord, I break agreement with control. I trust You. I lay down every promise, every fear, every plan, and I place it on the altar. I choose surrender. I choose obedience. I trust Your nature, even when I don’t understand the plan."

Final Question

What would it look like for you to fully entrust God with what He's given you today?

The Kingdom of God is not advanced by control. It is advanced by trust, obedience, and surrendered hearts who believe that He is good.

Let us be those who hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Master."

I hope that this message challenges each of us to growth, and that it wasn’t just an emotion-moving moment.

I want to be effective, to reach the lost, and to be the Church God has called us to be. No need for control – only trust, and being obedient to steward all that He has in store for us.