Sex & Pornography

Introduction

Welcome back everyone to our series on Gender and Sexuality. Last week we kicked things off with a strong start, we learned a lot, we talked about Biblical Dating. Biblical dating is a very important lesson to learn. The sooner you can learn to date in a way that glorifies God then that can set you up for the rest of your relationships later in life. We talked about:

Boundaries and where they should be

The purpose of a boundary

Gods original design for relationships

And this will bring us to our 2nd week in this series because tonight we will be talking specifically about Sex and Pornography. And we will be looking at what scripture has to say about this.

And before we get started I’m going to ask you to throw out anything you thought you knew about these topics. You might have a certain opinion, your friends or family might have a certain opinion, I ask you to throw it all out and join me as we look at what scripture has to say about this.

Much like last week we’re going to talk about some serious topics. We’re not joking about these things, we’re not making lite of them, we’re looking at how to approach these topics in a way that glorifies God. So again, if you don’t think you can handle it, if you don’t think you can take this seriously, I ask you now to stand up, go out in the hall, and have someone come pick you up. Your inability to take things seriously, will not stop someone else from hearing the truth.

Lets pray

1. Sex was God’s Idea

It may sound strange when I say this but the only reason it sounds strange is because you might have been taught that sex is dirty. Sex might have been portrayed to you that it is scary and should be avoided at all cost in all situations. Lets look at what God specifically told his creation when it comes to sex.

Genesis 1:27–28 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.””

Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

God created sex on purpose, with meaning, boundaries, and beauty. You should also note here that at no point in scripture does God or anyone reference sex without using the words “husband and wife”. It will never said boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, hookup. Scripture is clear that sex is meant to be enjoyed between a husband and a wife. And I use the word enjoyed purposefully. Its not a task, its not a chore, God is not against a person enjoying sex, he is against a person trying to enjoy that when they haven’t earned the right to enjoy it yet, when they try to enjoy it outside of the correct context.

The truth is sex isn’t dirty—it’s sacred. Sex isn’t bad, its powerful. Sex is designed for covenant (marriage), not consumption.

If God created sex, then listening to Him about sex isn’t restriction—it’s wisdom.

Imagine you’re playing a new game, you’re playing a game with friends and you’re having a great time and all of a sudden theres a problem. You’re unclear on the rules, one friend is saying do it this one, another is saying do it that way. But heres a question, why would you listen to the friends? Did they create the game? Did they memorize the instructions? Of course not, so you decide to go read the instructions to find out how to play the game, and guess who wrote the instructions? The one who created the game.

If God created sex, then listening to Him about sex isn’t restriction—it’s wisdom.

And things like pornography takes something God made holy and sacred and turns it into a product.

2. Porn Lies about Love and People

Porn trains your brain to use people instead of love them. It is one of the most selfish things you can do. And scripture reflects that.

Matthew 5:27–28 ““You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;”

Romans 12:1–2 “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Heres the thing: We can all get on board with the fact that creating something like pornography is sin. But its important that you know that even viewing pornography is sin, and it has the power to destroy your life and relationships.

“how can it do all that? nobody knows, its not hurting anybody”

What you watch shapes how you think—and how you think shapes how you treat others.

Porn reduces people to bodies, it reduces the people on the other side of a screen to something that was made to entertain you. Is that how highly you think of yourself? Is that how self centered you are? That you can scroll through the internet and find human beings that only exist for your pleasure. When you do that you’re saying that the person on the other side of the screen is not worthy of love, their not worthy of a biblical marriage where they can enjoy sex the way it was intended to be enjoyed. You think nobody knows? Every time you partake in something like that you’re telling God this person is worth less than you.

And your relationship with God isn’t the only relationship being affected. Just a second ago I said What you watch shapes how you think—and how you think shapes how you treat others. I just said that viewing pornography is self centered and that plays out in so many different ways. When you corrupt your brain in this way you become someone that only knows how to use people. Your relationships becomes shallow, there is no depth because you don’t know how to get there. Why? Because sexual sin has corrupted your mind and you’re just doing what you know how to do. Use people for your own selfish reasons.

Hear me when I say this Porn lies about love and about people.

3. Your Body Belongs to God

 What you do with your body is an act of worship. Sexual sin says, “My body is mine and I can do what I want with it.” The gospel says, “You were bought with a price.”

1 Corinthians 6:13–20 ““Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

One of the main things this point comes down to is something that might be slightly difficult to grasp. And thats because it takes a sense of control out of your hands. The point is your body does not belong to you. I know that sounds strange but listen, God created you, he created you to live and breath and glorify him in everything that you do. But what this means is that your body is not your own. And heres how it relates.

Sexual immorality, sexual sin, pornography all of these things are doing the exact opposite of what scripture teaches. By partaking in sexual sin you are treating your body and other bodies as toys and as tools.

You’re treating them as something to be played with or treating them as a tool to help you accomplish something. Listen to this: Your body isn’t a toy or a tool—it’s a temple. A temple that God created so the Holy Spirit could dwell inside of you.

So think about this, when you view pornography, when you indulge in sexual sin. You have taken what was meant to be a temple of the Most High God, and reduced it to a toy and a tool.

I want you to think for a minute at how frustrating it is when you see someone misusing something. Imagine you just got a brand new pair of shoes. You’re so excited you can’t wait to wear them to school. You go to your room and you see their covered in mud. You run out in the hallway and go “who wore my shoes?”. Just to see a sibling, parent, cousin. And they say “oh it was muddy out and I just need to run outside real quick”.

Lets take it up a notch, you can’t find your phone anywhere, finally you find it and theres a huge crack on the screen, its broken. You ask around and finally your friend says “Oh it was me, we were just playing a game and tossing it around and it fell”.

In all of these situations your furious, frustrated, angry, and you say over and over again “Thats not what its supposed to be used for! Thats not the purpose! You’ve missed the whole point!”

When we treat our bodies and other bodies like toys and tools instead of temples. This is what God is saying. That wasn’t its purpose.

4. Freedom Comes Through Light, Not Secrecy

Sin grows in secrecy; the longer you keep something a secret the stronger it becomes. There is freedom from sin when you bring something to the light.

John 8:34–36 “Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

1 John 1:7–9 “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

Some of you are wondering what does it mean to bring something to light? Bringing something to light means that you let the secret out. Now this doesn’t mean you stand up on stage and confess your sin to the room, but it means you tell someone. You tell a trusted group of people or a trusted adult or friend. Whats the reason for doing this? You are less likely to slide backwards toward sin if someone else is walking next to you. When you walk alone you have nobody to keep you moving forward.

Its important who you tell as well. Because guess what? If the people you tell are people that are okay with sliding back into sin, its not going to matter. Those aren’t the ones that will keep you moving forward. Most of my friends in school knew exactly what I was up to. But it didn’t matter. They were all doing the same thing I was doing. Bringing things to the light can feel scary, but its important to know that once you do, there is freedom in that.

God’s grace is stronger than any habit. There is no sexual sin too great for Gods Grace. I don’t care if you’re in this room right now and you’ve done everything in the book, you are never too far gone to be redeemed. I know this because I have experienced it myself, I know people who have struggled with sexual sin since they were 13 years old. People who were sexually active at the age of 13 and guess what they are my age now, they are in their mid 20’s and they are happily married living life in a relationship that glorifies God. You know how they got there? They gave up the mindset that they were too far gone. They stopped feeling bad for themselves. They stopped pretending that they were broken. They accepted Gods Grace and chose to walk in the light and now they can see sex for what it actually is. They realized sex isn’t dirty, its not scary, its not bad, its beautiful, its powerful, and it the right context it glorifies God.

You’re not weak for needing help—you’re wise for seeking it. Bringing things to the light feels scary, but there is freedom on the other side. IF you’re in this room right now and you struggle with any of these things, pornography, sex, just having inappropriate thoughts or conversations. If you truly care about stopping and finding freedom, choose to walk in the light tonight. Find someone to walk along side you.