Boundaries & Blessings

End result: students commit to finding God’s blessings, by honoring God’s boundaries

Text: Genesis 3:1-13

Ask ChatGPT: Give me 20 interesting facts about Bible text here that are historical, cultural, linguistic, archaeological, or theological that most Christians don't know.

Thesis (sermon in one sentence): If we want God’s blessings: we must honor God’s boundaries!

Story: personal relationship story w/ Bailey

Image: walking under a 2x8 with a volunteer

Metaphor:

If tonight’s your first time at LP: we’re so glad you’re here! My name is Russ, and I have the honor of being a part of this movement where everyone’s welcome, nobody’s perfect, and with Jesus anything’s possible.

Tonight, we’re kicking off a brand-new collection entitled Blurred Lines, where we’re going to grow in knowing that God isn’t grossed out by dating—and this collection isn’t just about romance, but friendships and even our relationship with ourselves.

We’re going to begin this collection with revisiting a familiar story from a different angle. Genesis 2:15 and Genesis 3 is where we’re going to be tonight, starting in verse 1, help me fill in the gaps if I stop reading out loud:

Genesis 2:15–17 The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden—except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”

Now, between this passage and the next one: the first marriage happens, and this original man, Adam, lets the original wife, Eve, know about these instructions.

Genesis 3:1–3 One day (the serpent) asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’”

God didn’t want man, woman, or this marriage to die, but rather to THRIVE!

Boundaries & Blessings

Our LP family has grown a lot lately, so I want to take a moment to introduce you to my beautiful family really quick. Can I show off my favorite people on the planet?

Fallett Family photo here!

Both of my kids are in this interesting season of life…the “why” season

C’mon - how many of y’all know what I’m talking about. I know y’all were a bunch of “why” kids at some point.

My son right now has a question about EVERYTHING!

Even down to the point of things like when I cook chicken, he’ll say “why didn’t you cook steak?”

Regardless of the blessing of his father…meaning he doesn’t have to figure out how to microwave chicken nuggets for himself…he has questions about the blessing!

But you & I actually aren’t all that different from my nine year old! Because we ask a LOT of questions regarding our blessing!

Because I got good news for somebody in the room: God WANTS you to have great relationships!

Oh come on- I know I got at least a couple dozen friends in the room who can celebrate that fact alone!

But if you are always asking “why” to the way God wants it…you’ll never experience it the way God wants it! You’ll be too caught up in analysis paralysis!

The God Who put billions of stars in the sky, who put the whole Earth into motion, knows how to give you way better relationships than you could ever get on your own!

But here’s the deal: If we want God’s blessings: we must honor God’s boundaries!

& before you assume this isn’t relevant: I assure you that you fall into one of three categories tonight.

DISGUSTED by dating right now

DRIVEN to date right now

INDIFFERENT to dating right now

Let’s break this down a little more. Firstly: there are those in the room that are DISGUSTED by dating!

Y’all know what I’m talking about…remember what you thought about dating in grade school:

“Ewww..boys?? They are GROSS! They have COOTIESSSSSS”

& then the fellas in much fewer words… “Girls? Ew! Me no like girl!”

You may have a plan that you’re never gonna date, because you think relationships are dumb.

That’s fine: you just need to know that feelings being caught is a reality, not a possibility.

If you’re a living, breathing human being: attraction is inevitable.

AND…what we’re talking about tonight doesn’t just benefit dating life, but your friendships as well. So I KNOW you may not be thinking about dating right now, that’s okay: part of my job as your pastor is to think about it a little bit for you and get it in front of you now, so that it doesn’t ruin your life later.

Secondly: you might right now feel DRIVEN to date. You HAVE to find that significant other. You ain’t just catching feelings; you’re throwing them out to as many people as you can!

Why is that? A lot of times, it’s because of a misplaced sense of identity. We’ve bought into the lie that “I am who I date.” But Identity isn’t based on you; it’s PLACED on you by the love of God!

So tonight matters for you, because it can free your life from the constant desperation of being defined by who you date.

Finally: there’s another part of the room, that right now: you’re indifferent to dating.

Dating’s not something that drives you, and dating’s not something that disgusts you. Can I be honest? You’re in the best seat in the house!

Because indifferent is different from disgusted: you hopefully recognize that SOMEDAY you’ll find that partner, but that SOMEDAY doesn’t have to be TODAY!

Because you’re not in a hurry, you’ll find that companion at just the right time!

Wherever you are on that list: the most important thing in this season of your life is to BUILD YOUR BOUNDARIES!

Dating God’s way starts not with who I’m looking for…but rather who I’m becoming. That’s the beauty of boundaries: they help me become the best version of me!

Maturity in any realm of life is most formed by me allowing God to lead me into who He wants me to become, even if it’s not always the easiest road to travel down.

The goal isn’t just to date, but rather to become dateable!

If I’ll focus on becoming the best version of ME that I can be: God will be the one to bring around the right one for ME when I’m READY!

This was mine & Bailey’s story…we fell in love…and then we broke up!! Because YOUR BOY was more ready than he had been..but he still wasn’t ready ready! More on that later…

God desires that no man or woman be alone: and so He has created each of us to have the capability to experience the BLESSING of deeper relationship…so you’re not weird for desiring relationship: you’re human!

But that blessing has to have BOUNDARIES to protect it! Why? Because:

Boundaries don’t limit God’s blessings; they protect them!

If you don’t have clear boundaries: you won’t be able to maintain the blessing!

See, for a lot of us in the room: we’ve gotten frustrated or given up on dating because we decided dating was the problem, when really the problem was our lack of boundaries.

”I’m just gonna give up on dating - guys are just the worst” No sis - you just keep dating guys that have a selfish understanding of the reason to date! You need to build up some better boundaries around the kind of guys that deserve your time!

”Mannnnnnn dating’s dumb - all it does is create a bunch of drama” No bro - you just keep dating girls whose second language is gossip! You need to stop giving your attention to toxic people!

And now, like my kids, we find ourselves asking “why?” to every guardrail God has put in place regarding relationships!

Let’s think about this in the context of our familiar friends Adam & Eve in Genesis 3:

God gave them a boundary. Do you remember what the boundary was? “Don’t eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good & evil”

Do you remember WHY that boundary existed? “If you eat it, you’ll die”

God has a clear blessing: life, that He wants to protect with a clear boundary: trust me when it comes to this tree.

& unfortunately, Adam & Eve don’t honor that boundary. But from their failure…we can learn about some important boundaries to put into practice in our own lives.

Boundaries Worth Building: (Jack - please make this a list that builds)

1. Is God getting glory out of this relationship?

Look at what the serpent does in Genesis 3. Eve has clearly articulated God’s boundary, and here’s the response in

Genesis 3:4–5 “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”

If the relationship makes you question God: you should question the relationship! Because an imperfect person can never have perfect plans for your life: but a perfect, loving God ALWAYS has perfect plans for your life!

You know the greatest compliment that somebody could ever give me or my wife? It’s not “ohhhhh man you guys are so cute” or “ohhhhh man I love you guys’ shoes.” Trust me: those feel good to my flesh!

But the greatest compliment someone could ever give us is, “I want to be more like Jesus, because I see Jesus all over & in your relationship. I want to get closer to Jesus, because of how I see you guys live out your life and marriage.”

I want to have a 1 Corinthians 10:31 kind of relationship:

1 Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Whether you eat, drink, or DATE…do it in such a way that God gets glory for it.

What if someone could get saved because of the Christ-honoring determination of your relationship?

That only happens if you create clear values and boundaries, and hold to them. But refusing to uphold boundaries can lead to even greater burden…

2. Does this relationship require for me to compromise?

This is really where we see those questions of “why” rear their ugly heads. We see this boundary clearly being ignored in Genesis 3:

Genesis 3:6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too.

Eve’s appetite overtook her boundaries and her obedience.

But what’s interesting is that: people in relationships can do the same thing…it’s just said in a different way!

“Why won’t you do _____ with me?”

“Why does it even matter?”

“Come on, nobody else is gonna know.”

“Don’t be such a prude”

Let me be clear: If they think your purity is a bad call: they’re a bad fit.

Because if he can’t respect your boundaries now: how will he protect you later?

If she can’t honor your convictions now: how will she support your calling later?

These lines of personal boundaries are constantly being questioned…which is why the smartest thing you can do is base PERSONAL boundaries on BIBLICAL boundaries!

If you wanna go up, you better grow up and realize that His Word stands the test of time.

You’re always in a dangerous place when you’re putting a question mark on something God ended with a period!

This is what happened in Genesis 3. God said, “don’t eat from this tree, period.” And the serpent filtered that through, “Did God really say…?”

Eve’s downfall was complying with the question mark. If you’re toeing a line: you’re already too close to the line!

So is someone else LEADING YOU into that dangerous place? Last question to ask is:

3. Is my whole life better or worse with them in it? KEYS UP HERE

Layer 7: Full Circle

You NEED to ask that question: it’s not only about do they make me FEEL good, but are they good FOR me?? Just because they make you FEEL good, doesn’t mean they’re good FOR you!

Genesis 3:13 Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” “The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.”

In our opening scripture from 2 Corinthians 6: the original language actually says to not be “unequally yoked” - and you may be like “wait their gains are bigger on one side than the other?” Well..not quite!

Bring out 2x8 and call for a volunteer

A yoke was something that would hold two oxen together, and if one was stronger than the other: they would end up going off course, stuck in circles, or even getting hurt!

My friend, if you find yourself in a relationship where you are giving your heart & life to someone that’s not at the same maturity level as you: you will find your life either going off course, spinning in circles, or hurt as well.

Was Adam’s life better because of Eve being deceived? Was Eve’s life better because Adam wasn’t taking ownership of what they would stand on? NO! Because they couldn’t own their own maturity, they affected the other with the worst results of their immaturity.

So here’s the challenge: don’t let another person lead you, let the love of God lead you!

But you may say, “what if my answer is that: my desires are determining my destiny, God’s not getting the glory, the relationship requires me to compromise, or my quality of life is worse with this relationship in it”?

The good news: the response is all the same. I know this because it had to be my response. I told you earlier that me & Bailey broke up…why? Because I needed to do some deep work to better honor God’s boundaries, so that I could receive the full blessing of what He wanted for me & for her.

In your groups tonight: you’ll look through another story of someone named Daniel, who does hold to his boundaries & values way better, but right now, we have a chance to be honest about where we’re personally at.

I had to learn from a guy named David, who at one point in his life got so off course that he crossed just about every line that could’ve ever been crossed, and his response to his own sin is:

Psalm 51:1, 10-12 Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins… Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.

I stand here today, married to my best friend for over 10 years, with two beautiful babies that are my greatest joy, not because of my perfection. But rather because when Bailey and I broke up: I had to have a Psalm 51 moment.

I’ve had to have a lot of Psalm 51 moments in my life. There’s been seasons that I’ve had to have a Psalm 51 moment daily.

And tonight: I invite you to also have a Psalm 51 moment. If you’ll take this step: I promise you that your life and relationships will be so much stronger.

Why? Because nothing changes until something changes. So this one moment of changing course could completely change your future, if you will allow it.

See tonight, and in the weeks to come: we’re seeking both truth and transformation.

Tonight isn’t about finding fault — it’s about freedom.

Some of you already know: your desires have been driving your decisions.

Some of you feel conviction right now.

That’s not condemnation — that’s God inviting you back.

Heads bowed, eyes closed, I want to invite you into a slow prayer:

“God, create in me a clean heart…

Help me rebuild boundaries…

Help me become who You’re calling me to be…”

Now, I want to invite you to take two steps. The first is a personal reset of sorts. Take a few moments and consider in your own heart what God’s speaking to you.

Secondly, I want to invite students who want prayer for:

purity

boundaries

relationships

identity

To go and find a leader on the sides of the room to pray with. Guys with guys, girls with girls.