Wisdom in the Wild: Jepthah's Rash Speech

Introduction

Wisdom from Above - Proverbs

In the book of Proverbs, Solomon warns us about the dangers of unrestrained, uncontrolled speech.

Proverbs 12:18

We introduced a device that’s based on some of the guidelines in the Proverbs to help us slow down.

THANK (True, Helpful, Appropriate, Necessary, Kind)

The goal isn’t to restrict all speech, but to slow things down, because if we want to be right before God, we must control the tongue.

The dangers of not controlling the tongue go beyond potentially separating us from God, they can have disastrous consequences on people around us, including people we love.

Our churches suffer

Our families suffer

Today’s lesson gives us an example

One thing I mentioned that we wanted to do this year is to see wisdom in the wild

The Bible is full of stories where we see the wisdom of the proverbs either on display or being neglected

Generally, the stories provide really dramatic examples either positive or negative

Sometimes we need do well just getting the principles

Today’s story is from Judges 11 and it’s about a judge named Jephthah, who was not careful in what he said, and it cost him dearly.

While we may never be in the exact situation Jephthah was in, his story serves as a testimony to why we need to be thoughtful and calculated in what we say.

For today’s reading it may be better for you to just listen to me read.

The whole story helps you feel the ebbs and flows of Jephthah’s story.

What a terrible story.

What emotions do you feel when reading this story?

Sad for the poor daughter?

Angry at Jephthah?

Maybe just sad and angry at the whole situation?

Such is life when we are not careful with our words, sometimes all there is left to do is just be frustrated by the mess.

Are you confused by the whole story?

Why would Jephthah say something like that?

Like why would God even let this happen?

Such is life when we aren’t careful with our words, things get chaotic and the Lord doesn’t always intervene.

Maybe you’re frustrated because you know this was a lose-lose situation.

Jephthah’s options are offer up his daughter or break a vow to God, and even if you know one of those seems like the “lesser of two evils,” neither are good.

Maybe you’re like me, and you want to find a way for Jephthah to get out of the predicament. (Lev 5:4-6)

At the end of the day, no matter what Jephthah does, this is bad.

Such is life when we aren’t careful with our words, we can be put into situations where no matter what we do moving forward, it’s just not going to be good.

Regardless of the specifics of how this story makes you feel, I’m sure it’s not good and there’s a lot of tension and a lot of yuck.

I think that’s intentional.

We’re supposed to see the mess that Jephthah made with his rash speech and use it as motivation to be more calculated in the things we say and in the things we promise.

Jephthah’s story is here not for us to piece together a bail out or to imagine what could have been

We need to see that this is terrible and say “I need to do better.”

This is awful, what are some principles of rash speech that I can take away to avoid this?

Body

Be careful what you promise to God.

The Lord cares a lot about what we say to Him.

If we say we’re going to do X, He expects us to do X. (A and S)

This is not a scare tactic, but this is what relationships are built on.

We know we shouldn’t make promises we can’t keep, but I do think our environment can make us quick to promise and slower to think

For example, one of the things I think factors that may have contributed to Jepthah’s rashness is the fact that he’s on a spiritual high right now

He’s just come back into this family and has been placed over all of Israel.

The Lord’s Spirit descends on him, which is an example of “it’s go time.”

He wants to do accomplish something great

He got carried away at best.

This can happen to us too where we are in a good groove and get lax.

Songs like “I Want to be a Worker.”

Songs like “All to Jesus I Surrender.”

That positive emotion is really strong and we make promises we aren’t going to keep.

Have you ever promised God something when things were really difficult for you?

Maybe you were in a bad spot financially and you said Lord if you can just get me through this I’ll start doing right!

This happens a lot when the bad spots we’re in are a result of something we did wrong.

There is a lot of emotion there and taking our concerns to the Father is extremely biblical.

But God is not our vending machine and He’s certainly not someone Who we can make agreements with, reap the benefits of said agreement, then back out and not keep our end of the bargain.

Ecclesiastes 5:2

1st thing Solomon says is when you’re talking to God slow down and think about it

Are you really going to do this thing that you said or are you trying to take advantage of God’s goodness?

If someone was constantly making promises to you and not coming through on them, you would feel disrespect, right?

How much more disrespect should God feel, when He’s in heaven and we’re here on earth? Let your words be few.

He doubles down on this idea in v4-5

It would be better to just not say anything at all! Think that was true of Jephthah?

You can do what you need to do without making the specific promises.

Solomon points out that ultimately, there comes a point where God gets tired of the empty promises.

At the end of the day God is faithful.

When God says something, He means it. (Let there be light)

If we are going to be His people, that needs to be a core characteristic of us.

Let your yes be yes and your no be no, anything else is of the evil one.

We need to be careful what we vow to God.

And it doesn’t have to be an elaborate vow, in fact there’s nothing elaborate about Jephthah’s vow.

It’s not about nitpicking our words or being afraid to talk to God.

If there is anyone who we should be practicing faithfulness in speech with, it’s God.

We need to be careful what we promise to others.

Tell me if you’ve ever been in this position...someone asks you to do something, you say yes, then when the time comes around, you can’t.

Something urgent or new came up

We were too quick to say yes and haven’t considered all of the other things we’ve said yes to.

We like being the person who always says yes.

Regardless of how we found ourselves in that position, we’re in a similar spot as Jephthah where whatever the choice we make isn’t going to be good.

Lower stakes obviously, but our options are leave someone else hanging or miss out on another obligation.

Depending on the seriousness of the task or the frequency with which you bail on people, that could cause riffs between you and that person.

All of this can be avoided if we are just careful in our speech.

But of course, our speech is just an outgrowth of what’s going on deeper, so here are a couple of things to think about.

We need to check ourselves for pride.

Even if you don’t think pride is why you constantly put too much on your plate, it’s good to think about these things.

Sometimes we are always jumping to do stuff because we think we’re the best to do everything and this is especially true the more capable we are.

That’s nothing but pride.

Other people are good at stuff too and sometimes we’ve got to give others room to identify and develop their talents.

Matthew 6:1-2 gives another dynamic to this pride thing

Sometimes we find our value in being the person people look at to do things.

This is a dangerous thing because I think it can happen without us realizing.

Unfortunately, Jesus says if that’s us, we have our reward in full.

Pride could be an element.

Proverbs 6:1-2 also gives us a principle that applies

This proverb has a financial aspect of it too, so we’ll come back to it later in the year.

This proverb is about locking in with other people’s ideas.

What happens is other people come to us with this idea and we get excited and say yeah I’ll join in! Without really thinking about what it’s going to cost.

It’s okay to be excited for someone else’s idea without throwing yourself in there.

We need to be careful about the promises we make to others.

Just like God should be the recipient of our faithfulness in our words, because He’s God and we’re His people...other people should be the recipients of our faithfulness in our words, because we’re His people.

We’re never going to be perfect in this, but if we’d just slow down we’d be able to prevent locking into things we can’t actually do.

Duty roster

All in all, the promises we make to others are a big deal.

Lastly, even if it’s not a vow, we need to be careful what we say to and about people because other people have to deal with the consequences.

The person who had to bear the brunt of Jephthah’s words was his daughter.

That’s not to say he wasn’t hurt as well, but at the end of the day...

Sometimes, the damage leaves a long lasting impact, his daughter can’t get her life back.

Words cut deep.

That’s not to say that actions don’t hurt too, but there is something unique about the impact of rash and hurtful language.

I’m sure everyone here can think of something someone said to them over 5 years ago, even if you’ve forgiven them.

Sometimes the things we say will hurt people for the rest of their lives.

In James 3, James talks about the tongue as a fire

Little flame burns up a whole forest, a little word can burn up a relationship

We can create a huge mess when we are not careful with our speech and the worst part is, we aren’t even always the one getting burned up!

We aren’t even always the one who has to put the fire out!

Best case scenario, we realize we hurt someone, we apologize, we go on feeling good and they’re still dealing with the repercussions of us speaking about them in a way we never should have to begin with!

My brothers and sisters, these things should not be this way.

We need to be more cautious with what we say and how we say it.

It is possible someone might need some correction, be careful how you say it.

You may have an opinion of someone that is difficult to articulate, or may come out wrong, don’t say it.

Or at least take the time to think about it.

Conclusion

The story of Jephthah is here to show just how big of a mess we can create when we are not calculated in our speech.

For the first 3/4 of the story it sounds like we’re shaping up for a good ole fashioned redemption story.

Jephthah goes from kicked out his father’s house to leading all of Israel!

Israel finally breaks free of the Ammonites which actually goes back into the previous chapter

But by the end, a young lady loses her life

Shouts to her

A really good story turns terrible with one rash word, and such is the nature of our speech

Do you think Jephthah wishes he could take his vow back?

Absolutely, look at how he responds when he realizes what is going on, he’s distraught!

Do you have things you wish you could take back?

Such is life when we speak too quickly and cause harm

If you notice, we tripled up on speech stuff this month, because it is that important.

We are in a time period where people are not wise in their speech.

It’s not just social media, even though that’s the most recent and maybe the biggest accelerant of the issue.

If you had something spicy to say you grabbed pen and paper

Now I can ruin your week in 3 seconds.

That’s not to say these technologies are bad, because I can make your day in the 3 seconds it takes to send a text too.

Wisdom from above says we’re going to be careful.

The closer the relationship, the more affected.

I’m going to keep it in a family context for my closing comments here, but I’ll ask you to put on your thinking caps and make further applications as well.

If you have not been careful in your speech within your family, today is the day to apologize.

You have not been who Christ or your spouse or your children need you to be.

I’m going to make a special appeal to the husbands and fathers to take the lead here because I think God wants you to take the lead.

If your household is home where there are screaming matches, hurtful words, or just not a place of encouragement through speech, I need you to lock in.

This is what being the head of your household is supposed to look like.

And as I’ve said before, it’s not just avoiding the bad!

When we get these things right there is so much good that comes from it.

Spouses and children feel comfortable talking to us about what is really going on.

We are able to lift our family members when they’re in tough situations.

We’re able to guide or correct in a way that makes knowledge attractive.

God is glorified when we show wisdom in our speech.