THE HEART OF A FRIEND OF GOD

Introduction: The Heart of a Friend of God John 15:12–17 (KJV)

If one were to wander into a quiet garden at dusk—when the light is neither day nor night, but something in between—and overhear a final conversation between a Master and His friends, one might expect grand strategies, or parting commands for the conquest of the world. Yet what we find in the Upper Room is something far more unsettling to the modern mind: not a plan, but a Person; not a system, but a love.

Our Lord does not gather His disciples as a general marshals soldiers, but as a friend speaks to friends on the eve of a great separation. The shadow of the cross already stretches across the table. Judas has gone out into the night. Jerusalem sleeps, unaware that eternity is about to hinge upon a hill just outside its walls. And in that solemn hour, Christ speaks not first of power, nor even of glory—but of friendship.

“This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)

Alfred Edersheim reminds us that these were not the words of a teacher delivering a lecture, but of the Messiah unveiling His heart. The rabbi of Nazareth now speaks with the authority of heaven, yet with the tenderness of one who knows He will soon be betrayed, denied, and abandoned. And still—He calls them friends.

Here is the scandal of the gospel: the eternal Son of God does not merely tolerate human beings, nor merely redeem them, nor merely rule them—He befriends them. He does not say, “You are my servants, if you obey,” but rather, “I have called you friends” (v.15), and then grounds that friendship not in their loyalty, but in His own self-giving love.

C.S. Lewis once observed that friendship is the least natural of loves—unnecessary for survival, yet essential for meaning. It is the love that says, “Do you see what I see?” And in John 15, Christ dares to say to fallen men, “Come—see what I see. Share My heart. Share My mission. Share My joy.”

But this is no sentimental companionship. This friendship is written in blood. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (v.13) The cross is not merely the means of our salvation; it is the measure of our worth to God. The nails do not only secure Christ to the tree—they secure heaven to humanity.

And so as we approach this sacred passage, we are not merely studying a doctrine, but being invited into a relationship. Not learning about God at a distance, but hearing Christ say to us, even now: “I no longer call you servants. I call you friends.”

The question before us is not simply, Do we believe in Christ? But rather, far more searching: Do we live as those who have been befriended by God?

2. FRIENDS— WE MUST OBEY (JOHN 15:12-17

John 15:12–17 KJV 1900

12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. 13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. 14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. 15 Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. 16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. 17 These things I command you, that ye love one another.

Most of us have many acquaintances but very few friends, and even some of our friends may prove unfriendly or even unfaithful. What about Judas?

"Yes, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me" (Ps. 41:9

Psalm 41:9 KJV 1900

9 Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, Which did eat of my bread, Hath lifted up his heel against me.

Even a devoted friend may fail us when we need him most. Peter, James, and John went to sleep in the garden when they should have been praying, and Peter even denied the Lord three times. Our friendship to each other and to the Lord is not perfect, but His friendship to us is perfect.

However, we must not interpret this word friend in a limited way, because the Greek word means "a friend at court." It describes that "inner circle" around a king or emperor. (In John 3:29, it refers to the "best man" at a wedding.) The "friends of the king" would be close to him and know his secrets, but they would also be subject to him and have to obey his com-mands. There is thus no conflict between being a friend and being a servant.

The perfect illustration of this in Scripture is Abraham, "the friend of God" (2 Chron. 20:7; Isa. 41:8; James 2:23), who was also the servant of God (Gen. 26:24). In Genesis 18, our Lord and two angels came to visit Abraham as they were on their way to investigate the sin of Sodom. Even though Abraham was nearly one hundred years old, he interrupted his noonday rest, greeted the visitors, saw to their comfort, and fed them a lovely meal. In the first fifteen verses of this chapter, Abraham is on the move, and twice he refers to himself as a servant (Gen. 18:3, 5). Note that this old man "hastened" and

"ran" and encouraged others to perform their work quickly, a perfect example of a servant. Nor did Abraham sit and eat with them. Like a true servant, he stood nearby, ready to do their bidding.

In the last half of the chapter, the atmosphere changes, and Abraham is quietly standing still, communing with the Lord. He is still a servant, but now he is being a friend. "Shall I hide from Abraham that which I do?" the Lord asked. As a friend of God, Abraham shared God's secrets.

It is this kind of a relationship that Jesus described when He called His disciples "friends." It was certainly a relationship of love, both for Him and for each other. The "friends of the King" could not compete with each other for attention or promotion. They were a part of the "inner circle," not to promote themselves, but to serve their King. What a rebuke this must have been to the selfish disciples, who often argued over who was the greatest!

How is it possible for Jesus to command us to love one another? Can true love be commanded? You must keep in mind that Christian love is not basically a "feeling"; it is an act of the will. The proof of our love is not in our feelings but in our actions, even to the extent of laying down our lives for Christ and for one another (1 John 3:16). Jesus laid down His life for both His friends and His enemies (Rom. 5:10)! While the emotions are certainly involved, real Christian love is an act of the will. It means treating others the way God treats us.

So, our friendship with Christ involves love and obedience. But it also involves knowledge: He "lets us in on" His plans. Indeed, He is our Master (John 13:13, 16), but He does not treat us as servants. He treats us as friends, if we do what He commands. Abraham was God's friend because he obeyed God (Gen. 18:19). If we have friendship with the world, we then experience enmity with God (James 4:1-4). Lot in Sodom was not called God's friend, even though Lot was a saved man (2 Peter 2:7

2 Peter 2:7 KJV 1900

7 And delivered just Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked:

God told Abraham what He planned to do to the cities of the plain, and Abraham was able to intercede for Lot and his family.

It is interesting to note that, in John's gospel, it was the servants who knew what was going on! The servants at the wedding feast in Cana knew where the wine came from (John 2:9

John 2:9 KJV 1900

9 When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom,

and the nobleman's servants knew when the son was healed (John 4:51-53

John 4:51–53 KJV 1900

51 And as he was now going down, his servants met him, and told him, saying, Thy son liveth. 52 Then inquired he of them the hour when he began to amend. And they said unto him, Yesterday at the seventh hour the fever left him. 53 So the father knew that it was at the same hour, in the which Jesus said unto him, Thy son liveth: and himself believed, and his whole house.

One of the greatest privileges we have as His friends is that of learning to know God better and "getting in on" God's secrets. I can never forget the impact on my own heart when I heard Dr. Oswald Sanders say to the Back to the Bible staff, "Each of us is as close to God as we choose to be." We are His friends, and we ought to be near the throne, listening to His Word, enjoying His intimacy, and obeying His commandments.

One day while he was a fugitive, David was near Bethlehem, his home city, and he longed for a drink of water from the well by the gate. Three of his mighty men were close enough to David to hear his sigh, and they risked their lives to bring their king the water that he wanted (2 Sam. 23:15-17).

That is what it means to be a friend of the king.

In John 14:16, Jesus reminded the men that they had this privileged position only because of His grace. They did not choose Him; He chose them! He chose them out of the world (John 14:19) and ordained them to do His will. Again, we find this important word fruit. As branches, we share His life and bear fruit, and as friends, we share His love and bear fruit. As branches, we are pruned by the Father; as friends, we are instructed by the Son, and His Word controls our lives.

The word ordained simply means "appointed." It refers to the act of setting someone apart for special service. We have graciously been chosen and set apart by the Lord in order to go into the world and bear fruit. He has sent us into the world John 17:18) as His personal ambassadors to tell others about the King and His great salvation. When we witness to others and win them to Christ, this is bringing forth fruit to the glory of God.

As I mentioned before, the evidence of true sonship, discipleship (John 15:8), and friendship (John 15:15) is fruit. "Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them" (Matt. 7:20). Where there is true fruit, it remains; man-made "results" eventually disappear. Fruit has in it the seed for more fruit, so the process goes on and on. Whatever is born of the Spirit of God has the mark of eternity on it, and it will last.

Once again, Jesus brought up the privilege of prayer. The friends of the king certainly speak to their sovereign and share their burdens and needs with him. In the days of monarchies, it was considered a very special honor to be invited to speak to the king or queen, yet the friends of Jesus Christ can speak to Him at any time. The throne of grace is always available to them.

John 15:15-16 summarizes for us what it means to be a friend of the King of Kings. It is a humbling experience, for He chose us and we did not choose Him. We must keep this in mind lest we become proud and presumptuous. It means that we keep our ears open and listen to what He says to us. "Hast thou heard the secret of God?" (Job 15:8). "The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him; and he will show them his covenant" (Ps. 25:14). We must be attentive and alert.

But the purpose for all of this is that we might obey Him and get His work done. The King has tasks that must be performed, and if we love Him, we will obey His commands. We will seek to bear fruit that will please Him and glorify the Father. Our joy should be to please Him.

Jesus closed this part of His message by reminding them (and us) of the most important commandment of all: Love one another. There are dozens of "one another" statements in the New Testament, but all of them are summarized in "love one another." Jesus had already given this commandment to the Eleven (John 13:34-35), and now He has repeated it twice (John 15:12, 17). It will be stated in one way or another many more times in the New Testament letters, especially by John in his first epistle.

The friends of the King must not only love Him, but also one another.

What joy it brings to His heart when He sees His friends loving one another and working together to obey His commands. 

This study began in the vineyard and ended in the throne room!

The next study will take us to the battlefield, where we experience the hatred of the lost world. If we are not abiding as branches and obeying as friends, we will never be able to face the opposition of the world. If we do not love one another, how can we ever hope to love lost men and women in the world?

If we are not marching together as the friends of the King, we will never present a united front to the enemy.

"Without me, ye can do nothing" (John 15:5

John 15:5 KJV 1900

5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

We are not simply handicapped or hindered. We are hopelessly paralyzed! We can do nothing!

But if we abide in Him, if we stay close to the throne, we can do anything that He commands us to do!

What a privilege — and what a responsibility!

Closing Invitation: The Call of the Friend-King

And now we stand where every soul must eventually stand—not at the edge of an argument, but at the edge of an invitation. For the words of Christ do not fall upon the ear as mere instruction; they fall upon the heart as a summons. The Spirit of God does not shout like a herald in the marketplace, but woos like a lover at the door of the will.

Even now, He speaks—not with thunder, but with tenderness. Not to coerce you, but to draw you. Not to command you from heaven, but to call you into it.

The same Spirit who hovered over the waters at creation now hovers over the hidden chambers of your soul, whispering the ancient question: “Wilt thou have this Man to reign over thee?”

For the One who calls you is no mere teacher of morals, no distant architect of the cosmos. He is the Word by whom all things were made—and yet He stooped to wash the feet of fishermen. He flung the stars into space—and yet stretched out His hands to be pierced for your sake. He is Creator, yes—but more than that, He is the greatest Friend the world has ever known. And He is King.

This Friend does not offer you escape from suffering, but meaning within it. He does not promise you ease, but communion. He does not ask for admiration at a distance, but allegiance of the heart.

“Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you.” Before you ever thought of Him, He thought of you. Before you ever sought Him, He sought you. Before you ever loved Him, He loved you—to the uttermost.

And so the Spirit still calls, gently but persistently: Come out of the lonely tyranny of self. Come out of the thin religion of form. Come into the thick, living reality of friendship with God.

Not a god who uses you. Not a god who tolerates you. But a King who died for you, and now invites you to walk with Him.

The door is not locked. The invitation is not withdrawn. The Friend still waits.

The only question that remains is not whether He will receive you— but whether you will receive Him.