When God Doesn’t Make Sense (After Illness)

Open with a verse and prayer

Song - I Don’t want to miss a thing - Aerosmith

Story Time for Family and Friends

Eulogy reading Family and friends,

We gather today to honor and celebrate the life of Teresa “Terry” Middlekauff, born Teresa Lee Jenkins in Riverdale Park, Maryland, and raised in and around Hagerstown with her sister and three brothers. From the very beginning, Terry was surrounded by family, and that sense of family—of belonging, of loving and being loved—became one of the defining marks of her life.

At just 17 years old, on April 10th, 1977, Terry made a choice that would shape her next 48 and a half years: she married her best friend, her partner, and the love of her life, David. They met in the most ordinary of places—a local bowling alley in Hagerstown—but what grew out of that meeting was anything but ordinary. The love they shared was steady, enduring, and inspiring. David never left her side, and together they built a life filled with shared memories, quiet moments, laughter, and a deep, unwavering loyalty that many only dream of.

Anyone who knew Terry will remember her laugh first. It was infectious, the kind of laugh that could lift a heavy room, that could break tension, that could make ordinary moments feel special. When Terry laughed, you couldn’t help but smile. That laugh was a window into who she was—a woman whose joy was genuine, whose spirit was bright, and whose presence was a gift to those around her.

Terry had a special relationship with the outdoors. She didn’t just enjoy nature; she cultivated it. Her yard—and often her neighbors’ yards—became an extension of her heart. She poured herself into landscaping, into flowers and greenery, into creating spaces of beauty and peace. Every plant placed, every bed she tended, carried her care and attention. To walk past her home was to see living evidence of her pride, her creativity, and her love of God’s creation.

She also loved to sing karaoke with family and friends. For Terry, it wasn’t about perfection; it was about being together. Microphone in hand, surrounded by people she loved, she sang with heart. Those karaoke nights were filled with laughter, memories, and a sense of togetherness that reflected how she approached life—fully engaged, unafraid to be herself, and always eager to make others feel included and alive in the moment.

In her professional life, Terry brought that same heart and dedication. As a Lead Customer Service Representative for Optum, she didn’t just do a job; she served people. She put her heart and soul into her work, showing up with kindness, patience, and integrity. For those who worked with her, she was more than a coworker—she was a steady presence, someone you could rely on, someone who cared.

Terry’s heart extended not only to people, but to animals as well. She was a passionate dog lover and a rescuer at heart. Over the years, she opened her home to many dogs in need, and at the time of her passing she had six beloved “fur babies.” Those dogs were not just pets; they were family. They were living proof of her compassion, her tenderness, and her desire to care for the vulnerable and the voiceless.

If you had the blessing of knowing Terry, you knew a woman with a heart of gold and a smile that radiated pure love. She was the kind of person who put everything she had into what she did—her marriage, her work, her home, her hobbies, her friendships. She did not live half-heartedly. She was all in.

Today, as we grieve, we also give thanks. We thank God for the years we had with her. We thank Him for the laughter she brought into our homes, for the beauty she planted in the ground and in our hearts, for the songs she sang, for the dogs she rescued, and for the love story she lived with David—a love that showed us what faithfulness looks like over a lifetime.

Our hearts are heavy because we miss her. There will be quiet moments when we reach for the phone, expect to hear her laugh, or feel like we’ll see her working in the yard just one more time. In those moments, let us remember that grief is the cost of love—and we grieve deeply because we were loved deeply.

Yet even in this grief, we hold on to hope. Terry’s love, her example, and her influence live on in each of us—in her family, in her friends, in every life she touched. The yards she beautified will bloom again. The songs she sang will echo in our memories. The dogs she cared for will carry her gentle touch. And the love she gave will continue to shape us long after today.

To David, to her family, and to all who loved her: may you find comfort in knowing that Terry’s life was not small or unnoticed. It was rich, vibrant, and impactful. She ran her race with love. She gave of herself freely. And she leaves behind a legacy of joy, kindness, and beauty.

May we honor her by loving as she loved, by laughing as freely as she did, by caring for others the way she always tried to do, and by tending the “gardens” God has placed in our own lives with the same pride and passion she showed.

Terry, we thank you. We love you. And though we have to say goodbye for now, your memory will live on in our hearts and stories, in our homes and our families, for the rest of our days.

Then family and friends

Song - Always on my mind - Elvis Presley

Message When God Doesn’t Make Sense (After Illness)

OPENING THOUGHT

When someone walks through illness, we pray, we hope, we wait, and we believe. And when the outcome isn’t what we prayed for, God can feel confusing. Today is one of those moments when God doesn’t seem to make sense—and that’s okay to say out loud.

I. ILLNESS REMINDS US WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (ESV)

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”

Illness exposes the limits of human strength.

We learn that faith does not give us control—it gives us trust.

God was never absent in the waiting, the treatments, or the prayers.

Key Thought: Not being in control does not mean God has lost control.

II. GOD IS PRESENT IN THE SUFFERING

Psalm 34:19 (ESV)

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

God was present in every hard day and every painful night.

Deliverance does not always look like healing—it sometimes looks like peace, rest, and release.

Suffering was not wasted or ignored by God.

Key Thought: God did not cause the pain, but He never abandoned them in it.

III. GOD CARES ABOUT OUR QUESTIONS

Job 13:15 (ESV)

“Though he slay me, I will hope in him.”

After long illness, questions linger: Why didn’t God heal? Why now?

God does not reject honest grief or unanswered questions.

Faith does not require understanding—it requires trust.

Key Thought: You can trust God even when you don’t understand Him.

IV. ILLNESS IS NOT THE END OF THE STORY

Revelation 21:4 (ESV)

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more…”

Pain has an expiration date.

The body that was weak is now whole.

What illness took, eternity restores.

Key Thought: Sickness may end a chapter, but resurrection writes the final one.

CLOSING COMFORT

God may not make sense today. But He is still good. Still near. Still faithful.

And today, we rest in the truth that love did not end—it changed locations.

CLOSING PRAYER (Optional)

“Lord, when illness leaves us tired and grief leaves us empty, be our comfort. Hold our hearts, quiet our questions, and remind us that this separation is not forever. We trust You with what we cannot understand. Amen.”

Song (optional depending on time) - Dream On - Aerosmith

Prayer over the family and attendants

Time for family before being escorted to grave site

Graveside Ceremony

OPENING WORDS

We have gathered here today to commit our loved one to their final resting place. This is a sacred moment—quiet, heavy, and holy.

There are times in life when God does not seem to make sense. Why one life ends, and another continues. Why healing comes for some, and rest comes for others.

Today, we do not pretend to understand. We come instead to trust God with what we cannot explain.

SCRIPTURE READING — GOD’S SOVEREIGNTY

Ecclesiastes 3:1–2 (ESV)

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die…”

Pastoral Reflection (brief): Life moves in seasons. We may not understand the timing, but we trust the One who holds time itself.

Psalm 34:18 (ESV)

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Pastoral Reflection: God is not distant today. He is near every tear, every ache, every unanswered question.

Isaiah 55:8–9 (ESV)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.”

Pastoral Reflection: God does not always explain Himself, but He always proves Himself faithful.

John 11:25–26 (ESV)

“Jesus said, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live.’”

Pastoral Reflection: Death is not the end of the story. It is a doorway—not a destination.

COMMITTAL

In the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through Jesus Christ, we commit the body of our loved one to the ground: earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

We do this with grief—but not without hope. For the soul is safe in the presence of the Lord.

PRAYER OF COMMITTAL

Prayer: Father God, We place into Your hands what we cannot hold onto any longer. We trust You with this life, this soul, and this moment.

When we do not understand Your ways, help us trust Your heart. When grief feels heavy, be our strength. When questions remain unanswered, be our peace.

Thank You for the life we honor today, for the love shared, and for the hope we have in Christ.

We commit this moment—and ourselves—into Your care. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

FINAL SCRIPTURE — ETERNAL COMFORT

Revelation 21:4 (ESV)

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more…”

CLOSING BLESSING

May the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace.

Amen.