I Wish I'd Never Been Born

Introduction

Object Lesson: Line the kids up and have them race from one end of the sanctuary to the other. Place objects along the path and tell them they can pick them up. When the race ends explain that the person who arrived first wins and the objects were meaningless. Explain how sometimes the things we spend the most time on don’t have any lasting impact on our lives. So we should focus on the things that will last forever — like knowing God, loving Him, and loving others.

Now for the grownups in the room, we can see the bigger picture behind that object lesson. What is the end of the race in that metaphor? It’s death. And the things we pick up along the way are the things we spend our time on that we can’t take with us.

We live most of our days trying not to think about death. Yet at some moments it’s unavoidable. Especially when times are at their darkest. When we are facing a wall of despair and maybe even looking at death as relief. This is where Job found himself in today’s chapter of Job. We’re working our way through the book of Job together asking how it can help us to be better disciples who make disciples.

Remember that Job just lost everything. He lost all of his wealth and even lost all of his children. He then lost his health. His friends have come to comfort him in silence and now Job is breaking his silence. He does so by speaking what we call a “Lament.” A lament is an expression of strong emotion, especially grief, in poetic or musical form. Let’s read Job’s lament together found in Job 3.

Job 3 CSB

After this, Job began to speak and cursed the day he was born. He said: May the day I was born perish, and the night that said, “A boy is conceived.” If only that day had turned to darkness! May God above not care about it, or light shine on it. May darkness and gloom reclaim it, and a cloud settle over it. May what darkens the day terrify it. If only darkness had taken that night away! May it not appear among the days of the year or be listed in the calendar. Yes, may that night be barren; may no joyful shout be heard in it. Let those who curse days condemn it, those who are ready to rouse Leviathan. May its morning stars grow dark. May it wait for daylight but have none; may it not see the breaking of dawn. For that night did not shut the doors of my mother’s womb, and hide sorrow from my eyes. Why was I not stillborn; why didn’t I die as I came from the womb? Why did the knees receive me, and why were there breasts for me to nurse? Now I would certainly be lying down in peace; I would be asleep. Then I would be at rest with the kings and counselors of the earth, who rebuilt ruined cities for themselves, or with princes who had gold, who filled their houses with silver. Or why was I not hidden like a miscarried child, like infants who never see daylight? There the wicked cease to make trouble, and there the weary find rest. The captives are completely at rest; they do not hear a taskmaster’s voice. Both small and great are there, and the slave is set free from his master. Why is light given to one burdened with grief, and life to those whose existence is bitter, who wait for death, but it does not come, and search for it more than for hidden treasure, who are filled with much joy and are glad when they reach the grave? Why is life given to a man whose path is hidden, whom God has hedged in? I sigh when food is put before me, and my groans pour out like water. For the thing I feared has overtaken me, and what I dreaded has happened to me. I cannot relax or be calm; I have no rest, for turmoil has come.

That’s some dark stuff, isn’t it? So what can we learn from Job’s honest and raw expression of grief and despair? You might be tempted to think not much, but this is Scripture after all and I think you’ll find a few valuable lessons waiting in here for us. For one we learn from Job that there is no sin in honestly expressing what we are feeling to God. We also learn that knowing we are all headed for the same grave gives us the perspective to know that striving for earthly prosperity is ultimately in vain. Finally by contrast we see that though Job struggled to see the hope in his situation we can rest in knowing that Jesus has given us hope through His resurrection.

Lamentation is not Sin

Illustration: It’s a sad fact of life that parents make mistakes. Many parents over the years have made the mistake of getting upset with their children for expressing their anger and sadness. Even well meaning parents can get fed up when their children try to express their feelings honestly about their hurts and frustrations. But we know when we’re at our best that this is wrong.

The thing is we can mostly unintentionally learn a lesson about keeping quiet when we’re hurting instead of being honest about how we feel. Many of us — especially men — learn early that strong emotion should be suppressed. That drive to keep our sadness and our anger inside instead of expressing it openly. This then often creeps into our relationship with God.

We get this feeling like we don’t dare express to God when we are sad or hurting. If our earthly father got mad at us for expressing our pain, why wouldn’t our heavenly Father also get upset at us for our pain? But do we see that from Scripture? The answer is an emphatic no. Consider Job in… well… all of this chapter. Here’s just a sampling from the first few verses,

Job 3:1–5 CSB

After this, Job began to speak and cursed the day he was born. He said: May the day I was born perish, and the night that said, “A boy is conceived.” If only that day had turned to darkness! May God above not care about it, or light shine on it. May darkness and gloom reclaim it, and a cloud settle over it. May what darkens the day terrify it.

This is just the beginning of Job expressing at length his despair and anger over what just happened to him. So the question is, does God rebuke Him? No. You will find no verse where God tells Job that He should not lament.

And Job is far from the only one to lament in Scripture. In fact there’s an entire book of the Old Testament called Lamentations. Jeremiah Laments all over his prophecies. The book of Psalms contains many laments over pain and loss, including one particularly powerful passage,

Psalm 22:1–2 CSB

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far from my deliverance and from my words of groaning? My God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, by night, yet I have no rest.

Sound familiar? Jesus Himself quotes this Psalm when He is dying in agony on the cross. Jesus also expresses His despair in Lamentation in the Garden in Gethsemene. Remember, the Bible says that Jesus is without sin. So the logic is rather unavoidable. If Jesus laments and Jesus never sinned then lamentation must not be sinful.

The application for us is then very direct. We should not be afraid to come to God honestly when we are hurt and angry. We should not be afraid to express our frustration and despair when we truly feel it. God will not turn you away. He inspired Scriptures full of laments. He knows our pain. He wants us to come to Him honestly with our grief.

One word of caution though before we move on. Job curses the day he was born, yes. But he never curses God. There is a line when lamentation goes too far. We should never “curse” God, in other words we should not let our anger cause us to accuse God of evil or to insult or turn away from God. Lament cries out to God in pain. Sin accuses God of wrongdoing or rejects Him altogether.

So Job is not sinning by expressing his true feelings and his despair in these verses. But does he have more to teach us about life and serving God even in the midst of this lament? Let us look at his insightful observations about the nature of death in light of the rest of the witness of Scripture.

Death: The Great Equalizer

Illustration: Have you ever seen one of those sand sculpture building competitions? Some of them are really truly amazing. The things people are capable of carving out of sand boggle the mind. Personally I can barely get a little castle to stand up long enough to impress my children. Now I want you to imagine something with me. Imagine you were in one of theses competitions. Everyone is working hard to build the most large and impressive sand castle possible. For a moment you pause and look out into the ocean and see a massive wave headed to shore. You know it’s going to hit before the judges come to judge the sculptures. What would you do? Would you still scramble and work as hard as possible to build the best sand castle?

In many ways life is sort of like building sandcastles with a huge wave in the distance. If we keep our eyes down and focused on what we’re building we can act as if what we’re building is forever. We buy or build big houses. We fill our savings accounts. Some even build empires of real estate or companies or whatever else it might be. But what happens when the wave comes and washes away all of your work?

This is basically the observation that Job makes in the midst of his sorrow. He realizes something truly profound in reflecting on his loss. He says in verses 13 to 19

Job 3:13–19 CSB

Now I would certainly be lying down in peace; I would be asleep. Then I would be at rest with the kings and counselors of the earth, who rebuilt ruined cities for themselves, or with princes who had gold, who filled their houses with silver. Or why was I not hidden like a miscarried child, like infants who never see daylight? There the wicked cease to make trouble, and there the weary find rest. The captives are completely at rest; they do not hear a taskmaster’s voice. Both small and great are there, and the slave is set free from his master.

What is Job saying? In his despair, Job sees death as the one place where the hierarchy of this world collapses — where kings and slaves lie down the same. One day we will die. What will happen to all of the kingdoms we have built? What will happen with all the goods we have amassed? We can’t take them with us when we go.

This is not unique to the book of Job. It’s the main conflict in Ecclesiastes, where the writer struggles with the idea that no matter how good or how bad you are, how wise or how foolish, everyone shares in the same fate. So why shouldn’t we just eat, drink, and be merry?

Jesus joins this biblical caution against a focus on earthly goods with his parable in Luke 12:16-21

Luke 12:16–21 CSB

Then he told them a parable: “A rich man’s land was very productive. He thought to himself, ‘What should I do, since I don’t have anywhere to store my crops? I will do this,’ he said. ‘I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones and store all my grain and my goods there. Then I’ll say to myself, “You have many goods stored up for many years. Take it easy; eat, drink, and enjoy yourself.” ’ “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life is demanded of you. And the things you have prepared—whose will they be?’ “That’s how it is with the one who stores up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”

So the Bible doesn’t want us to forget that we are mortal and that one day we will die. Not as a depressing cloud to hang over us, but actually as a freeing truth which gives us perspective. When you remember that we are dust and to dust we will return than you can look at wealth differently. Why should I spend my whole life trying to earn money if money means nothing after I die? So then if we know we can’t take it with us we are freed from worshipping money. If we know our suffering will one day end we can be free from despair. And if we know we all share the same death we can be freed from envy, and so on.

Likewise Job points out that even those in slavery will be freed from their oppressors by death, a bleak but true picture of the equality of everyone in the grave.

So then my friends, let’s strive to remember that one day we will die to help put all our ambitions and our struggles in their proper context. I think if we reflect on this with the proper spirit it can really be a huge relief to us in stressful times.

Yet at the end of the day we live in a different context than Job. We live on the other side of the cross of Jesus, which changes everything. While this chapter speaks as if death is the final rest, we now know what Job didn’t know. Death is not the end. Let’s talk about that, shall we?

The Rest to Come

Illustration: As most of you know I am the father of four amazing children. Children who are all five years old or younger. Children who have grandparents who live south of Montreal, about 9 hours of driving away. Well, more like 12 hours with little kids. We haven’t yet done the drive with all four children, but we will in June. It’s a long drive. Feels a lot longer when the children are exhausted and bored and upset. So what do I do to maintain my sanity on that long drive? I think about the rest that is waiting for me at the end of the trip. I think about a good sleep in a nice warm bed. I visualize the end to help me get through the hardest part of the trial.

There’s a lot of things you can use a similar strategy for. Long time consuming and somewhat painful experiences that you can get through by picturing the light at the end of the tunnel. Because life isn’t all sunshine and roses, even for the particularly blessed among us. Sometimes we must endure difficulty and hardship and it makes it much easier to get through if we can see the better thing waiting on the other side for us.

Job longed for rest — but the only rest he could imagine was the silence of the grave. Consider the despair in his voice in Job 3:20-26

Job 3:20–26 CSB

Why is light given to one burdened with grief, and life to those whose existence is bitter, who wait for death, but it does not come, and search for it more than for hidden treasure, who are filled with much joy and are glad when they reach the grave? Why is life given to a man whose path is hidden, whom God has hedged in? I sigh when food is put before me, and my groans pour out like water. For the thing I feared has overtaken me, and what I dreaded has happened to me. I cannot relax or be calm; I have no rest, for turmoil has come.

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt so burdened with grief that you couldn’t imagine relief? Like you could not relax and could find no rest? If that’s the case then I have good news for you. The Bible promises us that there is a rest that is coming for those who trust Jesus. In fact we can even know that trust now.

Hear the beautiful words of our savior in Matthew 11:28-30

Matthew 11:28–30 CSB

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Let’s sit in that for a minute, shall we? “Come to me, Fredericton Christian Church, and I will give you rest.” It works with your name too. Let’s all do it together. Say it with me but say your name. “Come to me Josh, and I will give you rest.” Jesus has rest for us. Even now He gives us rest for our souls. What Paul calls “peace beyond all understanding” in Philippians 4:7.

Yet it is not perfect rest here and now. God promises that there is a future eternal rest coming for those in Jesus in the future. Some of you will probably already know what Bible reference I’m about to make, it’s one of my favorites from Revelation 21:1-4

Revelation 21:1–4 CSB

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. I also saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared like a bride adorned for her husband. Then I heard a loud voice from the throne: Look, God’s dwelling is with humanity, and he will live with them. They will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them and will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away.

That’s the kind of rest waiting for us. So for those of us who are already trusting in and following Jesus I want us to take a moment to breathe a sigh of relief in knowing that we are headed for perfect rest. Maybe you’re hearing me and you don’t have that promise of rest. Maybe you haven’t put your trust in Jesus and promised to follow Him yet. If that’s you today I want you to take a moment to hear Jesus calling you to that rest.

Remember that you are dust, and to dust you will return. Jesus is calling you. One day our opportunity to respond will pass. Don’t wait for the wave to hit the shore. Answer Him today and receive that promise of rest eternal.

Conclusion

In the end even this moment of grieving outburst can give us insight into how we ought to live as disciples of Jesus. It can remind us that it is good and healthy to bring our honest emotions to God, even when those emotions are raw. It can remind us that death is the common experience of all and to not spend our short lives on things that will never last. It can also by contrast show us the gift of hope that we have in Jesus that our eternal rest is one day coming.

So my encouragement to all of us this morning can be summed up by 1 Thessalonians 4:13

1 Thessalonians 4:13 CSB

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, concerning those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve like the rest, who have no hope.

This means that we can grieve, in fact we should grieve. To not grieve is to lie to God about how we feel. But not without hope. We need to set our eyes on the hope that is coming for us even if we’re standing in the bleakest moments of our lives.

Remember as we go the words of Job. “The Lord Gives. The Lord takes away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.”

Let us pray.