Biblical Marriage

Intro

We move from the the God’s household (the church) now and look at Mans household (the home). We move from spiritual family to physical family

Do you think we should put off and put on these things with our spouse?

This next section will look at what we call the household codes. That is, the ways in which God designed the our interactions and roles with one another in various relationships

Husbands & Wives

Parents and Children

Slaves and Masters

It’s interesting to see where people get offended at God’s word

We’re ok with great exultation of God

With the supremacy of Christ

With conduct inside the church

Who’s going to argue with putting off anger wrath malice slander and putting on compassion kindness, humility, meekness, patience.

That we should love one another

Even atheists are ok with much of Gods word.

The golden rule

Help widows

Where the rub often is is when God speaks into the things that we deem as personal.

When God speaks to how our marriages ought to be

When God speaks to how we ought to parent our children

When God tells us how we ought to steward his money

I want to begin this section by calling us to examine our hearts and be open and willing to see what God would have to say about these areas of our lives and that we would humble ourselves in obedience to it

You’ll notice the text begins by speaking to the roles of wives and husbands

While we will look at what these roles of a wife and husband are in marriage in the coming weeks, I thought it would be important for us to look at what Biblical marriage is.

Disclaimer*

Singles

This is important for you

Married & “crushing it”

Married & shame

Give that shame to Christ and fight

Married & hopeless or even apathetic

We don’t argue because we don’t talk

4 aspects of Marriage (not exhaustive)

Priority of Marriage

Permanence of Marriage

Pleasure of Marriage

Picture of Marriage

Priority of Marriage

I want us to see the weight and significance and priority of marriage in God’s eyes

We can see it dimly here in this text by the order (marriage first)

Turn with me to Genesis 2

Context

God has created the world and creates Adam from the dust of the ground Gen 2:7

He puts him in charge of tending the garden

Vs 18 “not good”

Not good

God looks down at the earth and doesn’t see a woman and says its not good. Translation : I’m not done making it good.

Continue reading from vs 20b

Bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh

Leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife

God’s invention, Gods rules

One man, one woman, covenant for life

God given roles and responsibilities

Unique/one of a kind

Foundational relationship

Created before government, before church, before sin enters the world

Societal impact

First community

1st priority

You need to prioritize your marriage. Over your children. It is first and foremost

Permanence

“One flesh”

Hold fast

It’s important to remember that God’s design for marriage is for life

I’m not saying that there aren’t biblical grounds for divorce, but even so, that is not God’s initial design.

The aim of marriage is for one man and woman to be in covenant with one another for LIFE

Jesus takes this one flesh and then talks about divorce

Matt 19

Matthew 19:1–9 “Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.””

4 major views surrounding divorce and remarriage

No divorce, no remarriage

Divorce, bur no remarriage

Divorce & remarriage possible in certain situations

Divorce and remarriage possible for many reasons

This isn’t the time to get into those but I place them before you for further study. The point is, wherever you land, it is clear that God’s initial design for marriage was that of permanence.

People don’t enter into marriage with the goal of divorce

However, our culture today, and at times even in the church, views marriage as a business contract, not a sacred covenant

“Fell out of love”

Translation: They stopped giving me whatever it was that I wanted. My marriage exists to serve me

Malachi 2:14 “But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”

A contract says:

I will be faithful if you are faithful

A covenant says

I will be faithful regardless

Contract says

I will stay as long as I am happy

Covenant says

I will stay regardless

Contract says

I will give effort if you give effort

Covenant says

I will give effort anyways

God’s faithful

sin has entered the world and it has broken marriages.

bleeds, scabs, scars

divorce scars people

Death without a casket

Pleasure

When I say pleasure I’m not talking about merely sexual intimacy (although that is one aspect), I’m speaking about Joy

If you go to a wedding reception today, there is a strong likely hood they will do whats called “the anniversary dance”

The premise is everyone who is married goes out onto the dance floor and dances together as the DJ slowly begins to count. When you hear a number that is greater than the years you’ve been married, you go off the dance floor. The result is you have one couple standing at the end who has been married the longest. They then ask for some marriage advice from that couple.

I’ve done a few of these, we even did one at our wedding, but there’s a big problem…

What if they’re miserable?

Longevity is not the sole aspiration in our marriage

Want to stay married long, live across the world from each other?

We can recognize that marriage is a priority and designed to be permanent but we can buy into the lie that marriage is just a difficult slog

Think about what culture preaches to us around marriage

Media that portrays husbands as an incompetent bonehead that needs his wife to help him brush his teeth or portrays the wife as a nagging mother who is never satisfies.

Marriage is just one conflict after another

Sayings like “ball and chain”

“Happy wife happy life”

Two guys golfing and the one is about to hit his drive when funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. The guy stops, closes his eyes, and bows his head in respect. His buddy is amazed and says “wow, that was the most respectful thing I’ve ever seen”. The man says, “well, we were married 35 years”

Marriage is meant for our joy

“Not good” Genesis 2

First problem was Adam’s loneliness and in God’s care and providence he gives him a wife for his Joy

“Naked and not ashamed”

Side note: Adam and eve had no other options, They were each others standards of beauty

Woman is made and Adam breaks out into worship

Song of Solomon

Turn to Proverbs

Proverbs 5:15–19 “Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”

Proverbs 31:10–11 “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.”

If you don’t, I’d love to chat through that with you

I’m not naive enough to understand there isn't hurt and sin and brokenness that can kill joy in marriage, but God’s word speaks to it

What about those in difficult marriages?

What about those who don’t feel that joy?

Picture

If you get nothing else out of this sermon, I need you to understand this..

Marriage ultimately functions as a picture of the Gospel

Turn to Eph 5 22-33

Paul speaking to the church at Ephesus about marriage. Similar to Colossians, he talks about relations in the church and then goes into the household codes and speaks to wives and husbands, but he elaborates more and says this

Ephesians 5:31–32 ““Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

Marriage refers to Christ and the church, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND

From the very first marriage, Adam & Eve’s marriage served to display the glories of the gospel millenia before Christ ever walked the earth

God knew all along.

God knew sin would happen and yet before we see his promise of the gospel in gen 3 15 we see the reflection of it in Gen 2

We can talk about communication in marriage & forgiveness & intimacy & parenting & on & on it goes but all of that falls underneath the umbrella of gospel reflection

Our marriages ought to be like gospel lighthouses. When people see it do they see the light of the gospel.

Our children see us interact

Our coworkers hear how we speak about one another

This is why we can be faithful even when our spouse is not

Marriage is a priority because it was a priority for Christ, who gave himself up for her

Marriage is for our pleasure because ultimately it is in Christ that we have the fullness of joy

Marriage is permanent because Christ will never leave us or forsake us. Although we are an unfaithful spouse he continues to faithfully pursue us

Can you see gospel!?!

Can I show you a vivid picture?

Turn with me to rev 19

Revelation 19:6–9 “Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.””