Gender and Identity

Introduction

Welcome back to our series on Gender and Sexuality. Last week we talked about Sex and Pornography, we talked about how God created sex and what he intended it for. We talked about how the world and pornography has taken Gods creation of sex and turned it into something it is not. We talked about how your body belongs to God and what you choose to do with it should glorify him always.

I want to say something that I’ve said for the last couple weeks. The lesson tonight is serious, its heavy, and if you feel like you can’t take it seriously by all means go outside and have someone come pick you up. The things we talk about in here aren’t for me their for you. The things I say from stage are not for the adults, its not for the sound booth its for you. So I kindly ask that you lock in for the next little bit and be open to hear whatever it is Gods trying to tell you.

Tonight we will be wrapping up our series focusing on the gender side of things. We will talk about Gender and Identity. If you have never heard the letters LGBTQ they stand for Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer. Tonight we will address the LGBTQ+ belief system and see what scripture has to say on the topic. And if your in here thinking “why are we talking about this? how does this apply to me?” I want to explain why we’re talking about this.

Why we talk about it

The PEW Research Center did a study where they found that roughly 10% of teenagers identify as one of the LBGTQ+. And keep in mind that 10% spans from 8-18 year olds. This is not something that only adults deal with, this is not something that is too difficult for teens to understand, this is an epidemic that is affecting teens all over the world. And to put this into perspective for you, 10% means if we got 100 students in this room. 10 of them struggle with their sexual identity.

One more statistic to throw you just a few years ago the national survey for LGBTQ Youth Mental health, found that 48% of teens that identify as one of the LGBTQ struggle with suicidal thoughts. With 14% of that 48% actually attempting suicide. Let me make this real for you so it doesn’t just sound like math, if we have 100 teens in here that identified as one of the LGBTQ, almost half of them have wanted to kill themselves. and then a few of them actually tried.

Why do we talk about this? Its too big not to talk about. Either you or someone you know has struggled with these thoughts, they’ve been confused on who they are and their looking for answers and they are turning to whatever voice is the loudest. The answer to these questions is Jesus. Thats why we talk about it so that you find the answer, or you hear this and help someone else find the answer.

We will split tonight up into 3 points starting with:

Your identity starts with who made you, not how you feel.

What is an identity? The definition of identity is “the fact of being who or what a person is”. Keep in mind it says fact at the beginning of that definition. So whats my identity? Who is Jake? I can tell you that I am a man, I am a husband, I am a pastor, I am a resident of Cincinnati, Ohio, ultimately I am a child of God. And I can confidently say I am proud to be all of those things. That is the fact of who I am. Now one thing I cannot do is wake up one day single, and claim to be a husband, I cannot wake up one day jobless and claim to be a pastor. I cannot wake up one day in a different state and claim to be a resident of Cincinnati, Ohio. Those would not be facts of who I am.

Genesis 5:1–2 “This is the book of the generations of Adam. When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. Male and female he created them, and he blessed them and named them Man when they were created.”

Your identity starts with who made you, not how you feel.

I just talked about it but I’ll say it again because its that good. When playing a game, if you’re confused on the rules, you consult the instructions. Who wrote the instructions? The creator of the game. Sure if you want to you can play by your own rules because you feel like it, but after doing that long enough the game starts to fall apart. Theres holes in the concept and it doesn’t quite make sense anymore. Why? because you made up your own game.

God created you and scripture says he created you male and female. Which means this, if you claim to be something you are not, you’re now playing by your own rules.

Now lets continue if you change the rules what are you implying? You’re implying that the creator of the rules messed up. “yeah i read those rules but I think mine make more sense”. To identify as a gender that God did not assign you is to tell God that he messed up.

Your identity starts with who made you, not how you feel.

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

Your identity is found in who created you. And I know that if I was to go around the room and ask every one of you what your identity is found in you would all have 100 different answers. Some of you find your identity in sports, academics, talents or skills. Those are easy ones. Others of you might find your identity in relationships, being a son or daughter. Most of the time you find your identity in whatever area you feel valued in.

Now heres the thing, what about the people that don’t feel valued anywhere? They don’t have a great relationship with their family, their not great at sports or academics, they don’t have a great support system. So whats left for them? Who are they? Who are you? This is where people find themselves lost, this is where people get to the point where they don’t know who they are and they are desperate to find themselves. And unfortunately the LGBTQ community is a very welcoming group. But do you know why it is so welcoming? Why they are so eager for you to join? Because its full of people who felt as though they didn’t have an identity, they didn’t know who they were until they found this thing that promoted sexual sin and now they can finally be apart of something.

Do you see the problem with that? Lost people find other lost people, create a community, and then the more people they can get to join that community the more validation they feel.

Your identity starts with who made you, not how you feel.

No matter how you feel on a particular day, you will always wake up and still be a child of God. And what a beautiful thing that is.

Feelings Are Real, But They Don’t Define Truth

Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”

Proverbs 3:5–6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

We learned a lot this series about how wrong our feelings can be. We learned about human nature and how all of us are sinners and we all have this great need for a savior. But its important to understand this, you’re feelings are real. You see here is where I fear we might have gotten it wrong in the past, is we go so far to one side that we begin to preach that “your feelings mean nothing and you should never feel anything because its wrong and you need to ignore your feelings all the time!”

Thats not quite it, your feelings are real and your feeling are valid, on certain things. Not all feelings are valid.

We live in a society where we are constantly building each other up and we’re telling everyone that their feelings are valid no matter what they are. And when we do this as a society we are severely confusing the next generations.

Let me run you through it, Your feelings are valid when it relates to:

Your favorite restaurant

Your favorite sports team

Your friend that hurt your feelings

Feeling unappreciated in a specific area of life

Now let me run you through some feelings that are not valid:

Feeling like you identify as a different gender

(Your gender is a fact, its not up for debate.)

Feeling attracted to the same sex

(This goes against Gods design for relationship)

Feeling like you should get divorced because you “Don’t feel like its working”

(God created marriage to be a covenant and to last unto death, not just until it got hard)

Feeling like sex before marriage isn’t that big of a deal.

(God created sex to be for husband and wife.)

These are just a few examples of times when your feelings do not matter. And understand this, saying your feelings don’t matter on these topics is not an attack against you, it is a blessing. Thank goodness my feelings don’t matter on all of these topics because when feelings reign supreme fact begins to take a back seat.

The further and further we get to a world where feelings are all that matter then we will be that much closer to a world where there is no such thing as facts, everything is contingent upon how you feel. We will all of a sudden live in a world where people can say and do whatever they want just because they felt like it, it will be a dark and dangerous place.

Feelings are real, but they don’t define truth.

Our Identity Is Ultimately Found in Christ

A minute ago I said how if I were to go around the room and ask everyone what their identity was found in you all would name 100 different things. And thats okay that you feel valued in those areas. At the end of the day you’re not known for one thing you’re known for a combination of things that make you who you are.

However, at the root of your identity there is but one thing. And that is Christ Jesus.

Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

We’ve talked about gender and sexuality and LGBTQ and what scripture says about it, What God says about it. But yet we’re left with one question: Where do I fall into all of this? Where do I find my identity. What happens if I get confused or lost in who I am and what I identify as?

Your identity should be in Christ. And if your in this room and you understand what i’m saying and you feel like you’re finding your identity in all the wrong places, its time to come back. Find your identity in Christ. How do you do that? The same as other relationships, its time spent. Spend time with him, spend time on things that glorify him, spend time in prayer, spend time in his word, spend time with his people. And as you do those things you’ll start to realize how stupid all those other things were that you found your identity in.

Y’all I can say that from experience. I used to find my identity in the dumbest things. Wanting to be known for the dumbest things. Wanting desperately to be accepted by the people around me no matter the cost. And theres so many other people stuck in that spot.

There is case after case of lost people searching for a place to belong, a place to find community, a place to feel love and support, searching for something to find their identity in, and then end up getting caught in the wrong places. But heres the sad part. It started with pure intentions. It started with someone feeling alone, like they had no love and support so they are desperate to find something and they end up in a lifestyle that they never should’ve had.

You need to realize this now before you ask these questions later in life. The grace and love of Jesus surrounds you every day everywhere you go. There will never be a time where you are truly alone, there will never be a time when you are not loved because we serve an almighty God that supplies all our needs. Your identity should be found in Jesus Christ and him alone and when you do that, the fruit that comes from your life is so much sweeter than it was before.

Lets pray