Love Is Not Optional - pt.2

We measure the validity of love — not by culture, not by feelings, especially not by what Valentine’s Day has been turned into and certainly not by what the tv screens show… but we measure the validity of love by Calvary.

And we saw that if we truly understand the cross, love cannot remain optional in our lives.

Now John continues that exact same thought in verses 12 through 21. And he is going to give us a deeper understanding of true love…

Before we get to these verses, I just want to say that, if our passage from last week, verses 7–11 showed us what love is… then the rest of the chapter, what we are going to look at today, show us what love does.

In other words:

If God’s love has truly saved you… what should that love now produce in you?

John is going to tell us.

He’s going to show us that the same love that came down from heaven… the same love that took our place… the same love that satisfied God’s justice…

does not stop at the cross.

It continues in the life of the Authentic believer.

When God’s love takes root in a person, it does several things… which is what we are going to look at this morning.

Read vv. 12-21

Meat:

Some of the phrases that John uses in these verses are either the same or very similar to things that we have gone over in previous sermons throughout this study…

But, as I stated before, John circles back to this topic of love in order to give us a deeper or broader understanding of the points that he is trying to make…

But this first one in v.12, almost makes you stop and go… “what does that have to do with anything?”…

Last week we ended with v.11…

1 John 4:11 “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”

And then John says, in the very next line…

1 John 4:12 “No one has seen God at any time…”

Now, if we just left that on it’s own, it could almost feel discouraging.

It would almost sound like God is

distant.

Hidden.

or Unreachable.

It would leave us thinking, “Well then how can anyone really know Him?”… …

As we study God’s word we have to remember the first 3 rules of Bible study… Context, context, context…

And the context of what John is talking about here, is Godly Love…

And as we continue with v.12 and the rest, it becomes very clear that…

1. Love Makes God Visible

1 John 4:12 “No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us.”

Remember, John is writing to believers, and he says that God’s “… love has been perfected in us.”

Whether they admit it or not… the truth is…

1.1 People Are Searching For God

Every culture has some sort of religion.

Every civilization worshiped and built altars to something or someone.

Every generation wrestles with the same questions:

Why am I here?

What happens after I die?

Is there more than this temporary life?

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says God has set eternity in the human heart…

There is something in us that knows this world is not all there is.

You see it when people stand beside a casket and suddenly the questions get serious.

You hear it in quiet conversations in hospital rooms, when strength is gone and uncertainty intensifies.

You sense it when life slows down — when the noise fades and a person is left alone with their thoughts.

And on the outside, some people claim that God does not exist…

But on the inside, they are constantly wrestling with the thought of eternity, because there is something deep within every person that knows we were made for more than just a few years on this earth… … and people are constantly searching for what that purpose might be.

The point that John is trying to get his readers to understand is that…

1.2 Love Puts God on Display

John says “No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us… ”

One commentator said “The unseen God, who once revealed Himself in His Son, now reveals Himself in His people if and when they love one another.”

Think about that.

The world cannot see God directly.

But when believers love one another in a real, Christ-like way…

God is put on display.

When someone forgives instead of retaliates…

When someone serves quietly without recognition

When someone absorbs a wrong instead of escalating it…

The character of God becomes visible because He abides in us.

The unseen God chooses to make Himself seen through the lives of His people.

And that raises a sobering question for those who claim to follow Christ…

If someone were to look at

your life…

your home…

your relationships…

What picture of God would they see?

Because love doesn’t just prove we belong to Him.

Love puts Him on display… and if that doesn’t make you squirm a little, then you may not be grasping the depth of what John is saying…

If our version of love ignores sin…

If it refuses to speak truth…

If it tolerates what God calls rebellion…

Then we are not putting the true God on display.

We are presenting a distorted version of Him…

Yes, God is love — but He is also holy.

Yes, God forgives — but He does not overlook sin.

We are called to display a holy love.

A love that forgives — but also calls to repentance.

A love that is patient — but anchored in truth.

A love that reflects the full character of God — not just the parts that make people comfortable.

Because if love puts God on display…

Then we must be careful to display Him accurately… …

And when we display Him accurately, then our…

1.3 Love Brings His Work to Completion

“No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us.”

The Greek word that is translated as “perfected”, is better translated as “completed”… or maybe even “Brought to maturity”

In other words, God’s love is not finished when it reaches us…

It is not perfected, it is not complete until… it flows through us…

John is laying out the pattern for us…

The Father sends the Son.

The Son dies in our place.

The Holy Spirit indwells the believer.

And when that believer begins to love others in a Christ-like way… God’s work has reached its intended result.

If God’s love stops with us, something is very wrong.

But when it flows from us — forgiving, serving, speaking truth in grace… then His love is being...

perfected.

Completed.

Brought to its goal.

not just that we would be saved…

But that we would reflect the God who saved us.

Now… … that’s just verse 12… we’ve got several more to cover this morning…

Yes, real, biblical, Christ-like love, makes God visible to an unbelieving world… but it does so much more than that for us as believers… and that’s what John points out next…

2. Love Gives Us Assurance

v.13…

1 John 4:13 “By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us…”

Notice that phrase: “By this we know.”… John uses it a few times throughout this letter because he is not interested in guesswork when it comes to Authentic Christian Living…

He wants to make sure that we understand exactly what it looks…

He wants us to have assurance… and he gives us 3 different areas to find it in…

The first one is…

2.1 The Witness of the Spirit

1 John 4:13 “By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us because He has given us of His Spirit.”

As soon as someone truly accepts God’s free gift of salvation, His Holy Spirit indwells them and starts to produce certain things in their life.

The Spirit produces Conviction…

When a believer gives into the temptation of sin, the Spirit does not leave them comfortable.

There is an uneasiness inside.

A weight on their conscience.

A loss of peace.

A call to repentance…

The Spirit produces a desire for Christ

This is more than just showing up for church on a Sunday morning to get a weekly check mark… This is…

A growing affection for Jesus

A Hunger for His Word

A desire to honor Him with your life

And as we have been covering in depth… The Spirit produces a strong love for your brother’s and sister’s in Christ…

Some say the primary evidence of the Spirit is

speaking in tongues.

Others say it is wealth and financial prosperity.

Some say it is perfect health.

Others say it is secret knowledge or higher spiritual wisdom.

But John does not point to any of those…

He points to love…

A.W. Tozer once said that “the Spirit’s presence is not proven by excitement, but by holiness and love.”… …

Another area of assurance is…

2.2 The Confession of the Son

1 John 4:14–15 “And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.”

What you believe about Jesus matters…

Our culture likes a Jesus who

affirms everything,

Who confronts nothing,

Who never speaks of judgment.

A Jesus who fits comfortably into whatever moral framework our society prefers.

That is not the Jesus John is talking about.

He is also not talking about …

the Jesus that we can freely reshape to suit our preferences.

Or the Jesus who agrees with all of our opinions.

So many people have reduced Jesus to nothing but a life coach or a motivational speaker…

But John says, Jesus is the Son that God sent to be the Savior of the World…

That means:

He is eternal.

He is divine.

He took on flesh.

He bore sin.

He satisfied wrath.

He rose again.

We talked about this before, but…

To confess Him is not just to simply say His name.

It is to affirm who He truly is — the eternal Son of God, sent by the Father, crucified for sinners, risen from the dead.

To bow to Him as Lord.

To rely on Him as Savior.

To rest your soul on what He has done, not on what you can do.

True confession of Jesus Christ, is the total surrender of your life to His will… to His honor… to His glory…

“By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us…”

Which leads to the 3rd area of assurance…

2.3 The Abiding of the Believer

We have seen this word before and I won’t spend a bunch of time on it… but look at v.16

1 John 4:16 “And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.”

To abide means

to remain.

To stay.

To continue.

This is not a one-time emotional moment.

It is a new, evident, direction of life.

If love is present — that is evidence that God is present.

Not perfection.

But steady new direction.

Is there growth?

Is there repentance?

Is there a different attitude and handling of personal sin?

If there is, then John says; that is assurance.

Not because we are good enough.

But because His love is at work in us.

Love not only gives us assurance, but it also give us confidence…

3. Love Gives Us Confidence

It doesn’t just help us know we belong to Him in this life.

It shapes how we think about the next.

John says in v.17…

1 John 4:17 “Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness…”

The word translated as “boldness” carries the idea of:

Freedom in speaking

Openness

Confidence without fear

Unreserved access

It is used to describe someone who could speak freely in the presence of authority… someone who did not have to shrink back or hide.

Which is important, because look at where John says this Boldness… this confidence… comes into play…

3.1 In The Day of Judgement

1 John 4:17 “Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment…”

The writer of Hebrews says “it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment.”

For the unbeliever, that day is terrifying.

Because apart from Christ, there is

no covering.

No substitute.

No satisfied wrath.

For the person who has rejected Christ, the day of judgment is not about reward — it is about accountability.

Every thought.

Every word.

Every hidden sin.

Every act of rebellion.

Nothing will be overlooked.

Nothing will be excused.

And that is terrifying!

Not because God is unfair…

But because God is perfectly just.

And if justice is applied to us without mercy…

None of us could stand.

But John says that true, godly love produces boldness.

Not in the sense of arrogance or pride…

But in a peaceful confidence that as we stand before Almighty God, we will be clothed in Christ.

We don’t have to wonder whether or not the scale will tip in our favor…

Because, as I stated last week…

The judgment that should have fallen on us… fell on Him.

The wrath that belonged to us… was absorbed by Him.

The verdict that would’ve condemned us… has already been satisfied on the Cross.

And that changes how we face eternity.

Charles Spurgeon once said that “the Christian does not fear judgment because judgment has already fallen on Christ.”

Knowing and believing this is what gives us confidence… … …

John says we also have confidence…

3.2 In Our Identity With Christ

“Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment because as He is, so are we in this world.”

That doesn’t mean we are sinless… But it does mean that we are united to Christ.

It means when the Father looks at us, He sees us in His Son.

Could Jesus stand before the Father with confidence?… Of course He could.

Perfect obedience.

Perfect righteousness.

Perfect love.

And here’s the amazing part… … we stand there in Him.

Not because we’ve lived perfectly… but because we’ve been covered with His righteousness.

He is the beloved Son in whom the Father is well pleased… … And in Christ, we are accepted as the same.

So we don’t face judgment hoping we’ve done enough.

We face it resting in what He has already done.

That’s why love can mature into confidence…

And then v.18…

1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”

Love gives us confidence…

3.3 By Removing Fear

John is talking about fear of condemnation.

Fear of punishment.

Fear of the final verdict.

And he says mature love drives that fear out.

Not because God stops being holy.

Not because His judgment isn’t real.

But because for the believer, punishment has already been dealt with… meaning that, if you are in Christ, there is no punishment left to fear.

Yes, we still have fear in the sense of reverence or awe, as Solomon wrote “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom”…

But fear in the sense of terror is no longer an issue, because… Where the love of God is understood and embraced… Fear begins to lose its grip.

We have seen that…

Love makes God visible.

Love gives us assurance.

Love gives us confidence.

And like any good preacher, John now brings in the application…

4. Love Produces Consistency

As we come to the end of this chapter, John kind of reiterates what we touched on last week…

And that is the fact that real, biblical love is not scattered or selective…

Rather it is Consistent… … first of all…

4.1 In Giving and Receiving

1 John 4:19 “We love Him because He first loved us.”

There is consistency between what we have received and what we give.

We received grace…. …

So we give grace.

We received mercy… …

So we extend mercy.

We received forgiveness we did not deserve.

So we cannot turn around and withhold forgiveness from someone else.

Love does not stop when it reaches us.

It continues through us.

If we claim to have received the love of God — but we are stingy, cold, and harsh toward others — something doesn’t add up.

Real love produces consistency between giving and receiving.

It also produces consistency…

4.2 In Profession and Practice

1 John 4:20 “If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?”

John is not pulling any punches here… He is basically saying that we are to practice what we preach!… live out what you say you believe!…

You cannot separate what you say from how you live.

It is inconsistent.

You can sing the hymns and worship songs.

You can say the right “Christian” phrases.

You can affirm every doctrine.

But if there is constant bitterness…

if there is ongoing hatred…

if there is refusal to reconcile…

John says that profession is empty.

Love produces consistency

between belief and behavior.

Between our confessions and our conduct.

Between what we declare about God and how we treat the people made in His image.

And finally this morning… Love Produces Consistency…

4.3 Because It Is Not Optional

1 John 4:21 “And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.”

Must.

Not optional.

Not personality-driven.

Not dependent on whether someone deserves it.

If. you. love. God, you. will. love. His. people.

Not perfectly…But genuinely.

Because love is not a spiritual gift that some get and others don’t…

Love is essential.

It is commanded.

It is expected.

It is evidence.

Love produces consistency —

In giving and receiving.

In profession and practice.

Love does all of this, because it is not optional.

The Love of God does not just save us.

It changes us…

It reshapes us…

And where the love of God is real…

It will be seen.

Closing:

I encourage you to examine yourself… … “Is the love of God truly evident in my life?

Make it a matter of prayer… And ask the Lord to make His love not just something you believe… but something you live…

Prayer:

Father, we love You because You first loved us.

May we live our lives as the completion of that love — not letting it stop with us, but letting it flow through us.

Help us to reflect Your heart, to forgive as we’ve been forgiven, to love as we’ve been loved.

Make Your love visible in us, for Your glory and for the good of those you set in our path.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

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