Encouragement Matters
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9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.
Encourage: to give support, confidence, or hope to (someone).
Why is it so much easier to say a discouraging word than it is an encouraging one?
One of of our staff members suggested I might want to back off my frequency of encouraging words. They were afraid it would not mean as much if I kept saying I am proud of you, good job.
Some ppl might say: I don’t tell my kids or spouse I am proud of them or good job to often because I don’t want them to get a big head. - Really? You think you will over do it? I promise you, you are under doing it.
I want to ask you a question: Have you ever, in your entire life, met someone who said, You know, I’m just too encouraged. My boss told me I was doing a great job, and my wife told me she’s proud of me, and honestly, I just can’t take it anymore. I’m quitting? No! Of course not! We are all under-encouraged. Every single one of us.
I was taught once to appreciate and praise your workers and volunteers until it gets uncomfortable then to 10x it!
2. As a Christ follower we should use our words to encourage and not to discourage.
2 different type of ppl and your reaction when you see them coming:
(1) I can’t wait to have an interaction with them and you move toward them.
(2) Oh no, what at they going to complain about now? What negative thing are they going to say now?
Which are you? Do you dare ask the ppl that are closest to you? Do you even care?
Encouragement is like oxygen in the life of a church.
11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
The Greek context, explaining that "building up" (oikodome) is architectural.
Encourage and build up. Jenga game:
Paul is using encouragement to encourage more encouragement.
Catch ppl doing something right vs. catching ppl doing something wrong.
For employers: Praise in public / rebuke in private.
24 Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Why add bitterness to a world that’s already sour? Be the honey.
Healing to the bones: implies that words affect our physical and deep psychological well-being.
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
The word "unwholesome" in Greek is (sap-ros), which refers to "rotten / fruit." You wouldn't serve a rotten apple to a guest, why would you serve a rotten comment to your spouse?
What comes out of your mouth should build other up and benefit those who listen. Do the majority of the words I say to others benefit and build them up or it is a detriment and destroy someone?
Tam’s work @ Loma Linda: I app (appreciate) you.
13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
Encourage other believers to stay focused on God and warn against sin that creeps in.
Encourage daily. Daily? Daily!
When encouragement is absent from the life of the church people feel unloved, unimportant, useless, and forgotten.
Today: While you still have time. Now even if they are busy.
Encouraging wait staff. Call the manager over. Managers only get called over for what reason? Complaints.
A thought of encouragement that isn't shared is like a gift that is wrapped but never given.
18 But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.
Our words are the "EKG" of our soul.
3. Hurt people, hurt people.
Don’t repeat the negative cycle. - Story of friend making a mess at Del Taco because ppl did it to him. What? I made him clean it up.
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Peace isn't found in a better circumstance; it's found in a Person. "Our encouragement to others must always point back to the One who overcame.
We all need encouraging words. Why because life is hard.
You never know how your encouraging words may save a life.
Ppl are so discouraged right now.
Teachers appreciation: I was ready to quit until you came and talked to us.
Pastors are always questioning if they should stay in the ministry.
Married couple sometimes wonder should we stay together?
4. We remember the hurtful words that were spoken to us and we rarely remember the positive uplifting ones.
How many positive words does it take to offset a negative word?
John Gottman, a researcher, studied positive and negative relationships among 700 married couples believed that negative experiences (words and emotions) needed to be balanced with positive experiences in a relationship in order for the relationship to be successful. He thought that there was a ratio of positive and negative experiences to balance or cancel the negative. Gottman used a 5:1 ratio, 5 positives to every 1 negative in his study. Ten years after his study he found that he was 94% correct on his divorce rate prediction based on his study.
5. What is your ratio of encouraging words to negative ones?
Teacher made her jr. high students say 5 positives for every 1 negative.
Have you ever had an encouraging word come in just the nick of time? - Tom after camp.
There is no one right way to encourage someone. Don’t over think it. Just do it.
Here are a few ideas:
1. Pray and ask God to make you an encourager. Ask Him to give you a heart that loves others and how to creatively show it.
2. Study Barnabas in the bible and ask God to make you more like him. If you did not know Barnabas means “son of encouragement”.
3. Pray for God to show you who to encourage. Ask God to bring someone to mind.
4. Regularly encourage your churches pastors, staff, and ministry volunteers.
5. Make encouragement a daily discipline.
