Broken Relationships
Real Struggles With Real Solutions • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
0 ratings
· 9 viewsNotes
Transcript
Handout
Introduction:
Every person in this room has felt the sting of a broken relationship.
Maybe it was a friend who betrayed your trust.
Maybe it was a family member who walked away.
Maybe it was a marriage that grew cold.
Maybe it was a misunderstanding that spiraled out of control.
Maybe it was something you said — or something you didn’t say.
Broken relationships are painful because God created us for connection.
In Genesis 2:18, God said...
18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
We were designed for unity, fellowship, and family.
Gen. 2.24 says...
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
The New Testament says the same.
Jesus said...
6 But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Paul said...
31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
We were designed for love to facilitate the connection God designed us for
Jesus said...
35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
When relationships break, it affects our emotional health, our spiritual health, and even our example to the world.
But the good news is this: God specializes in reconciliation.
He restored us to Himself through Christ, and He can restore relationships in our lives as well.
18 Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, 19 that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
Today we are going to look at:
What the Bible says about broken relationships
God’s solution for healing them.
How to apply that solution
how the church can help
Body:
What the Bible Says About Broken Relationships.
Broken relationships are not new.
Scripture is full of them:
Cain and Abel — jealousy and murder (Gen. 4).
Jacob and Esau — deception and hatred (Gen. 27-33).
Joseph and his brothers — betrayal and forgiveness (Gen. 37-50).
Hosea and Gomer — unfaithfulness and heartbreak (Hosea 1-3).
Paul and Barnabas — disagreement and separation (Acts 15:36-41).
The Woman and her seven husbands — the pain of divorce (Matt. 22:23-28).
God hates division.
16 These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: 17 A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, 18 A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, 19 A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.
God loves unity
1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brethren to dwell together in unity!
God commands that if you have a problem with your brother you need to reconcile with him.
23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Paul echoes this in Romans:
18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.
Forgiveness is ventral to the Christian life.
32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
God’s Answer to Broken Relationships
Reconciliation begins with the heart.
Before any relationship can be healed, the heart must be addressed.
Jesus said in Matthew 5:8...
8 Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God.
A heart filled with pride, bitterness, or self-protection cannot see God’s path to reconciliation.
Proverbs 4:23 records...
23 Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.
Jesus says our mouths will speak out of the abundance of the heart.
34 Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
Jesus said the heart can defile a man.
18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. 19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. 20 These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man.”
Healing begins when God is allowed to work inside us first.
Humility is required if God is going to fix our broken relationships.
Pride destroys relationships. Humility restores them.
Philippians 2:3-4 says...
3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Humility means being willing to listen, willing to admit wrong, willing to take the first step, and willing to value the relationship more than the argument.
James tells us that us that selfish ambition is wisdom but that it is demonic wisdom.
14 But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. 16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.
Notice the wisdom that is from above...
17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
James 4:6 records...
6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”
If we want God’s grace in our relationships, humility is not optional.
Forgiveness is non-negotiable if God is going to fix our broken relationships.
Forgiveness is not a suggestion — it is a command.
25 “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.
Jesus said this in Matthew 6:14-15.
14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
But because forgiveness is an obligation does not mean that their are no conditions for forgiveness.
Jesus adds some crucial details about forgiveness in Luke 17:3-4
3 Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”
This teaches two essential truths:
Repentance must precede forgiveness.
Forgiveness is always offered, but reconciliation requires repentance.
Repentance must be met with forgiveness every time.
Not even repeated failure removes the obligation to forgive.
Forgiveness opens the door.
Repentance walks through it.
Reconciliation happens when both meet in the middle.
We must pursue peace intentionally if God is going to fix our broken relationships.
Peace rarely happens by accident.
It must be pursued.
Hebrews 12:14 records that peace has to be pursued
14 Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord:
If peace is going to be sought or pursued we must pursue the things which make for peace.
19 Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.
But in the pursuit of peace we must remember that there are some cost that are just to high to pay.
18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.
This means taking steps toward healing, not waiting for healing to come to you.
We always need to remember that peace is something you chase, not something you wait for.
How to Implement God’s Answer
Pray for the person and your own heart.
Matthew 5:44 records...
44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,
Prayer softens your heart and invites God into the situation.
You cannot hate someone you consistently pray for.
You cannot stay bitter toward someone you lift before the throne of grace.
Prayer prepares your heart and the other person’s heart so that reconciliation becomes possible.
Take the first step —following Jesus’ process
Matthew 5:23-24 deals with a person that is on the way to worship and remembers that his brother as something against him.
23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
In Matthew 18:15-20 Jesus gives some further information about how to handle a brother that we have a problem with.
15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. 18 “Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. 19 “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”
Go to the person privately (v. 15).
The goal is restoration, not embarrassment.
Most conflicts die at this step if handled with humility.
If they will not hear, take one or two others (v. 16).
Not to gang up on them —but to bring clarity, fairness, and accountability.
If they still refuse, involve the church (v. 17).
This is not punishment — it is loving intervention for the sake of unity.
If they refuse even then, treat them as an outsider (v. 17).
Not with hatred — but with evangelistic love, recognizing the relationship is no longer spiritually aligned.
In Matthew 18:15-20 Jesus recognizes a means of fixing broken relationships that goes all the way back to Deuteronomy.
15 “One witness shall not rise against a man concerning any iniquity or any sin that he commits; by the mouth of two or three witnesses the matter shall be established.
An understanding of Deuteronomy 17:6, 19:15; Numbers 35:30 helps us to understand Matthew 18:15-20 .
Jesus ends this section by reminding us that heaven stands behind this process (vv. 18-20).
Reconciliation is not just relational — it is spiritual, and God Himself is involved.
Taking the first step is not easy, but it is commanded.
Waiting for the other person keeps the relationship frozen.
Obeying Jesus opens the door to healing.
Speak truth in love — even when the truth hurts it is the only thing that can heal.
Ephesians 4:15 records...
15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—
Truth and love must go hand and hand.
But speaking truth in love does not mean the truth will always feel gentle.
Examples.
Jesus — The Rich Young Ruler (Mark 10:17-22).
Jesus “loves him” (v. 21), yet He still told him a truth that cut deeply:
21 Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow Me.”
The man went away sorrowful.
The truth was loving — but it hurt, confronted his idol, and was rejected.
Paul — Confronting Peter (Gal. 2:11-14).
Paul “withstood him to his face” (v. 11) because Peter’s behavior was harming the gospel.
This was truth spoken in love for Peter, for the church, and for the Gentiles.
But it was sharp, direct, and public, because the situation demanded it.
Peter — Preaching at Pentecost (Acts 2:36-37).
Peter told the crowd:
“God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ.” (v. 36).
The truth pierced their hearts (v. 37).
It was bold, confrontational, and painful — but it led to repentance and salvation.
John — Calling Out Diotrephes (3 John 9-10).
9 I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to have the preeminence among them, does not receive us. 10 Therefore, if I come, I will call to mind his deeds which he does, prating against us with malicious words. And not content with that, he himself does not receive the brethren, and forbids those who wish to, putting them out of the church.
John exposed Diotrephes’ pride, gossip, and refusal to receive the brethren.
John’s words were firm and corrective.
Truth was spoken in love for the church’s protection — but it was not soft.
Truth and love must walk together.
Speaking the truth in love does not mean the truth will always feel gentle.
Sometimes truth hurts.
Sometimes truth feels harsh even when spoken gently.
Sometimes truth is misunderstood.
Sometimes truth is rejected.
Sometimes truth exposes wounds the other person doesn’t want to face.
Sometimes truth confronts sin the other person wants to keep.
Love does not avoid truth to keep the peace.
Love speaks truth to make peace.
Speaking truth in love means:
You choose your words carefully.
You check your motives.
You aim for healing, not winning.
You speak to restore, not to shame.
You refuse to weaponize Scripture or emotions but you speak the truth even if it hurts.
Truth may hurt, but it is the only path to genuine healing.
How Christians Can Help the Struggling
Bear one another’s burdens
2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Encourage reconciliation, not gossip
Gossip separates friends.
28 A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends.
We should speak what edifies.
29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
Pray with them and for them.
16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
Model forgiveness and unity
35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Provide accountability and support
24 And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, 25 not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.
Conclusion:
Broken relationships are painful, but they are not hopeless.
God is a God of reconciliation.
He restored us to Himself through Christ, and He can restore relationships in our lives.
Maybe today you need to forgive someone.
Maybe you need to ask someone for forgiveness.
Maybe you need to take the first step.
Maybe you need to pray for a softened heart.
Maybe you need the courage to pursue peace.
Whatever the situation, God has given you the tools, the Scriptures, and the Spirit to begin healing.
And you are not alone. Your church family stands with you. Your Savior walks beside you. And your God is able to heal the situation.
