Proverbs: Wise Companions

Introduction

Our theme this year is “Wisdom from Above” and our goal is to seek godly wisdom and to better understand how to apply it in our lives.

I want to read a little from James 3:13-18

The wisdom that we’re seeking and the way that we are trying to live is distinct from just any wisdom.

Godly wisdom brings good.

We should take advantage of any opportunity we have to gain wisdom.

We’re looking at Proverbs to get an in-depth look at wisdom from above.

These are the words of Solomon, a man given direct wisdom from God

And he’s not just giving us cool tips, he’s teaching us how to be righteous

Yes, some of these things call for major changes or may be unsettling.

I don’t think I’ve ever read through an entire chapter and said, “yup, we’re good to go!”

The proverbs call for us to stop and reflect.

We’re better off listening, not fighting.

God was kind enough to give us this wisdom, let’s use it.

Today’s topic is “Wise Companions”

The Proverbs are super clear that the people around you can have an effect on you.

Sometimes this effect is physical, but most of the emphasis is on the spiritual.

A person can be living righteously and fall off the path simply because of who is around them.

There are some factors that can make us even more susceptible.

Younger people seem to be more impressionable.

When you’re down, you’re also very vulnerable. (Marriage/Job)

It doesn’t matter if you’re old, young, man, woman, or “strong,” we’re all subject to this dynamic

And it’s not all bad!

Proverbs 13:20 says walking with the wise makes one wise

Wisdom is contagious

When we’re around wise people we see their example

When we’re around wise people they can challenge us with kindness

So, if you’re trying to be wise, this dynamic helps you

I think most of us know and want to use this to our advantage

Proverbs 13:20 also says a companion of fools will suffer harm

This is the side that people aren’t always as cognizant of, so it does get more airtime in the Proverbs

Some of the verses we’ll look at delve into the specific harm

The people around us, impact us, and we need to be aware of that dynamic when choosing who we surround ourselves with.

Body

Proverbs 1:10-15

“If sinners entice you, don’t be persuaded.”

When we say sinners, we aren’t talking about the general way in which we’re all sinners.

Solomon is talking about people who are actively choosing to be contrary to God. (Unwise)

He’s warning them to not be persuaded, why? Because people who are up to no good can be very persuasive. (Constant)

It might be easy if everyone talked like v11-12

This actually sounds like it would be insane to hear.

People don’t walk up and said “let’s sin!”

It’s Satan’s oldest trick.

The temptation and persuasiveness comes in v13-14

Here they’re luring this person with the reward of money.

“It’ll be fun,” “no one will know,” “everyone does it.”

A lot of times these bad influences will re-package the sin to where “it’s not a big deal.”

This is dangerous company and we ought not be persuaded into evil.

v15 gives the remedy for avoiding being persuaded by such influences

Notice he doesn’t say resist, he doesn’t say expose their argument.

“Don’t even travel with them,” that’s the remedy.

If you’re putting yourself around these people, you’re going to have to be strong 24/7

Don’t even be around these guys.

This highlights and important dynamic when it comes to choosing our companions

Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re strong enough to resist the craftiness of bad influences

You might resist for a time or in certain ways, but a constant dose will prove to be too much.

Solomon says to avoid these influences

Proverbs 22:24-25 shows a specific way bad company, unwise people can negatively impact us.

The specific lack of wisdom here is anger.

Being quick to anger is unwise.

The specific wording here is “master of anger.”

It actually takes time to learn to be unwise which is why we need to avoid contact with foolishness, when possible.

The danger of being around this guy is “you will learn his ways.” How?

Do you think this guy sits you down and walks you through his tactics?

You learn by being around them.

Again, behavior is contagious.

Once you learn his ways and adopt his behavior, you have a problem.

Now that you’re a hot-head, your marriage suffers, your relationship with your friends (if you have any left), your boss, elders, etc.

Potentially, you have an issue between you and God now.

Now you have this issue, not because you’re bad or you were trying to be unrighteous, but because you weren’t careful with who you chose to be around.

Unwise companions have serious spiritual effects.

But Proverbs 20:19 shows it’s not limited to spiritual effects.

Avoid a gossip or someone with a “big mouth”

Like we talked about last month, someone who isn’t godly in their speech is unwise.

Part of this is spiritual because them gossiping to and around you, makes you a gossip. (Participating or engaging)

I want you to think about this...

If someone is constantly telling you someone else’s secrets...what do you think they’re doing with your secrets?

If someone is constantly talking bad to you about other people, what do you think they’re saying about you to others?

“They’re my friend!”

People who are gossips don’t display control over speech, so you can’t possibly expect them to exercise restraint with your secrets.

Hopefully you can see how this moves out of the purely spiritual realm.

Hanging around a gossip could ruin your relationship with someone

A person like this could be talking bad about you to your boss.

Someone could make your life really difficult (Ammo)

That’s why Solomon says, just avoid them.

There are clear spiritual concerns (Relationship with God)

There could be personal and physical consequences as well.

Wise people are mindful of the people they choose to surround themselves with.

Wise people recognize the influence that both wise and unwise people could have on them and they act accordingly.

We’re not too prideful to admit that we are impacted by our companions or that we’ve seen these dynamics in play.

We’ve seen strong friend groups where they’re all spiritually-minded

We’ve also seen a wise person be dragged down by foolish friends

Of course, you don’t get to choose everyone you’re around.

It’s the 1st Corinthians 5:9 concept where Paul says you can’t just leave the world.

Family, some work dynamics, etc.

The people we’re choosing to spend time with and grow close to, those are the relationships Solomon is most concerned about.

1 Corinthians 15:33

The issue is the Corinthian church had stopped believing in the resurrection.

The resurrection is core to the Christian faith and something they used to believe.

This thinking has changed their attitudes and behaviors more into what v32 points out - Eat drink and be marry, i.e. do whatever you want.

You can understand the logic...

Do you know what Paul says caused them to adopt this unwise mentality?

It was their bad company, their unwise companionship.

Even though they had something good, the bad company corrupted it.

Even though Paul and other teachers had taught them right!

The unwise here are Christians!

He goes on to say come to your sense and stop sinning!

Due to these associations, they’ve gone from a church trying to do right to one that has rampant sinfulness

Sober up...there is something intoxicating about bad company.

2 Corinthians 6:14 has a similar idea

“Do not become partners”

This emphasizes the choosing aspect again (Relationships that you’re seeking and that could stop seeking)

Why? Because you’re not moving in the same direction.

Righteousness and lawlessness don’t go together. Light and darkness?

What I want to highlight here though is that this bad relationship that they have with these people who don’t believe is affecting their relationship with Paul. (v13-14)

Paul clearly views them as special

He wants them to open their hearts, but these unwise connections are hindering them.

1 Corinthians 7:2 - “Make room for us in your hearts,” well these unwise relationships are making that really difficult

Unwise companions make it harder for us to connect with other wise companions.

If you notice that there is someone wise and you try to pull them into your group and your group is full of unwise people...?

Unwise people not only drag you down, they drag you away from people who could be pulling you up! (That’s why...)

Wise people are mindful of the people they choose to surround themselves with.

It is not that you think you’re better than everyone!

It’s that you know you’re not.

It’s hard enough walking the straight and narrow without someone trying to pull you off to the side.

In fact, you know you need all the help you can get.

Proverbs 27:17 - Classic verse, but so powerful

One of the reasons God gave us other people is so we can sharper each other.

Through the process we get sharper and more useful for God.

This only works when the people are made of the same material.

This is why wise people consider who they choose to surround themselves with.

We’ve got a God to not just serve and please, but to spend eternity with!

Anything we can do to facilitate that should be on the table.

Conclusion

I would encourage everyone here to consider whether or not you choose to surround yourself with wise people. (Not perfect, but wise)

I’m not saying go through and just start deleting contacts.

Unless that’s what you need to do...

Some relationships are consistently and demonstrably unwise.

Just really think about who you’re choosing to spend your time with.

There is always this in the world but not of the world balance that we’re trying to strike.

Sometimes a wise person has to lift up an unwise person.

Sometimes it is our responsibility to be the wise voice to someone who isn’t wise.

Let’s just be honest about who is influencing who because there is real danger here.

Proverbs 17:12 - I saved my favorite for last.

Have you ever seen a video of a mama bear trying to protect her cubs?

I looked some up this week and TERRIFYING

Solomon uses that image to describe what it’s like to be around a fool in his foolishness...that’s dangerous.

Sometimes you stumble upon someone in their foolishness.

But imagine choosing to put yourself in that danger...that’s unwise.

Are you making wise choices?

The people you’re around Friday and Saturday night..they good?

The person you’re dating...they wise?

The coworkers you’re spending extra time around..is that wise?

The Christians you’re gravitating towards...are they sharpening you?

Wise people are mindful of the people they choose to surround themselves with.

Since we’re talking about wisdom, we do have to talk about the wisest decision someone could make and that’s giving your life to Jesus.

There may be some aspects about being a Christian that don’t seem wise on the surface

You follow someone you have never laid eyes on because of books written by other people you’ve never seen.

Jesus, He died, but was resurrected.

And He is the Son of Someone else you have never laid eyes on.

If you’ve dismissed the idea of being a faithful Christian before...

There is a cost to following Christ

Jesus says to count the cost.

There are sacrifices (maybe another thing that doesn’t make sense)

There is a cost to not following Jesus too

Access to the Father

Forgiveness of sins

The hope of eternity

That’s a lot to give up.

If you trust in Jesus and He was wrong, you’ve wasted a life.

If you don’t trust in Jesus and He was right, you’ve wasted eternity.

For what? Pride? Family Stuff? Stuff that won’t matter after you die regardless of how you feel about God?

This isn’t really a scare tactic, it’s more of a call to really think through what the wise thing to do is.

It’s an invitation to say Jesus is King, Lord, and Savior.

Maybe you’re here and you already know what you need to do.

You know you’ve sinned against God.

You know you need to fix it, but you also know you can’t.

Jesus can.

You need to be baptized.

You need to have your sins washed away and the debt cancelled and that can only happen through His blood.

When you’re baptized you become a part of God’s family in the same way our new sister Elana did last week.

As a part of this family, God and God’s people are here to help.

We want to be those wise people in your corner.

We want you to be a wise person in our corner.

Don’t leave here today without thinking about your relationship with God.