How Sin Changed the World pt. 3

Introduction

The very heart of our nation has been disintegrated.

What is the heart of our nation?

It’s not the United States government. It’s not the stock market or Wall Street. It’s not the local or state government. And it’s not necessarily the institution we know as the local church. The heart of our nation are the families that make up our communities and that make up our churches.

And the foundation of every family unit is God’s ordinance of marriage. When marriages are healthy, our homes are healthy. When homes are healthy, churches are healthy. When churches are healthy, communities are healthy. When communities are healthy, the states are healthy. When states are healthy, then our nation is strong.

Satan and the forces of hell have systematically worked to destroy this ordinance that God established at the beginning. When Jesus was pressed on the issues of marriage, His response was simple.

Matthew 19:8 NKJV

From the beginning it was not so.

In this bold statement, Jesus acknowledged that culture and feelings do not get to determine the definition of good and healthy marriage, but that God created marriage to be a sacred covenant between man, woman, and God Himself, and that God and God alone can define what marriage ought to be.

How Sin Has Changed the World

There was a way that God created the world. And since the creation of the world, satan and sin have done everything they can to change and to pervert what God created.

Sin has devalued Humanity

Satan has done everything he can to erase the image of God in man.

The Bible says that God created man in His image. And that means that all men, regardless of race, color, or creed were created in the image of God. And the great stain on our nation is the stain of racism and abortion. Where we have intentionally devalued others to make ourselves feel good about our blatant sin.

Satan has done everything he can to equate us with the animals.

Where in the beginning God designed us to rule and to care for creation, for man to worship God, and for man to work according the the mind that He created in us, to rise above our basic instinct and to worship Him and Him alone, satan has worked to make us equal or less than creation. To the place where the world worships creation rather than the creator.

Blurring the lines between male and female.

God, very clearly, created men and women. He created each of us equal, He created each of us unique, and He created each of us with a special purpose and function to perform. Yet, in our world, we are having to pass legislation to prevent government employees from convincing our children that they can choose their biology. Satan will stop at nothing to erase the most basic truth of our world, that men are men and women are women.

Sin has Destroyed Our Rest

Sin has destroyed the concept of work

Work is good, and it is healthy, and it is a gift that God has given us to have meaning and purpose. And just as God works, the Bible says that we are to work and that we are to find meaning and satisfaction in the work that we do. Whether that is raising the kids at home or it is bringing home a paycheck to make sure our families have a roof over their heads, work give us purpose and meaning.

Sin has destroyed our rest with God, ourselves, and in our homes.

Sin worked in us to separate us from God. And the more we feed into a lifestyle of sin, the less we are impacted by the grace of God, and we find ourselves restless.

We find ourselves restless because the power that we have through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit flys away. The Bible says that the Holy Spirit is like a dove. A dove is pure (they don’t eat road kill), they are peaceful, and they are beautiful creatures. And when we sin, the Holy Spirit is quenched, and He is grieved, because sin is vile and the Holy Spirit is gentle and pure.

And when we are at war with God and within ourselves, there is war in our homes. And when we have unhealthy homes, you can be sure that there is an unhealthy marriage as its cause.

Look in our text, and I want to set the stage for you before I give you the principles of a healthy marriage.

A. Problem (v. 18-20)

God saw a problem in His creation

Genesis 2:18 NKJV

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

In all that God did and all that God created, He said it was good…except for this one thing. That man did not have anyone that was comparable to him.

There are a lot of reasons why it’s not good for me to be alone.

Men live longer when they’re married. I didn’t eat vegetables until I was married and most of the time she still has to remind me. I find purpose and meaning in my work to provide. I have a voice in my head that directs me and it’s not just the Holy Spirit.

We are by nature made for relationships. Adam could never thrive in isolation. In the same way, when a man will commit to one woman and a woman will commit to one man, they will prosper in their life. There is stability, and there is safety, and there is drive and ambition that comes from the companionship of marriage.

Isolation increases selfishness. Marriage is one of God’s many tools that teach us how to be selfless and how to serve. In isolation, no such purpose exists and people are devolve into someone that consumes rather than someone who cares for others.

God needed Adam to Notice this problem

Genesis 2:19–20 NKJV

Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

Now Adam is fully aware of his loneliness, every animal has another, but God’s special creation was alone.

B. Solution (v. 21-23)

Genesis 2:21–23 NKJV

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”

In every lie that satan tells there’s always some truth. The lie is that man can be woman and woman can be man, and the truth is that every man comes from a woman and that every woman came from Adam.

v. 23 was the first poem ever recited. Adam couldn’t believe his eyes! This wonderful gift just for him.

How do we know that wives are God’s gift to man?

The word “man” there in v. 23 is the Hebrew word Ish. It comes from the root that means strength.

The word woman is the Hebrew word Ishah, it comes from the root meaning soft and it describes someone who is to be delicate, gentle, kind, and compassionate. It shows us that God created women to be physically and emotionally tender and able to connect with others in a real and meaningful way.

Simply put, woman was the solution for man’s problem because they offset the man’s weaknesses, and man offsets woman’s weakness. Man and woman are equal, compatible, and specifically designed for one another.

C. Instruction (v. 24-25)

Genesis 2:24–25 NKJV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

The instruction is clear, that once a person is married, their spouse becomes their number one priority. Not mom and dad. Not billy and suzy the son and daughter, but husband and wife. They are to stand together, and they are to make a life together. And they are to be fully known by one another and not be ashamed.

I heard another preacher say that the “pursuit of marriage is to be fully known and yet fully loved.” There is no shame that ought to exist between a husband and wife. No secret life, no allegiance to another, no sexual immorality whether physical, from the eyes, or in the heart. A man is to be totally devoted to His wife, and a wife totally devoted to her husband.

How has sin changed the world?

Sin Has Disintegrated Our Marriages

Many don’t even think marriage is important. All the data points to something different, but sin blinds the mind of people. We are seeing teenagers and unmarried people hyper-sexualized and given over to all their lusts. And even the marriages that we do have aren’t always in the best shape. In a lot of cases, they’re down right unhealthy.

But God doesn’t want you to have an unhealthy marriage. God wants you to have a thriving marriage! Marriage is an ordinance of God. It is His first ordinance, and it is picture of His love for those that are His.

And to teach you how, there are three truths that we all need to understand if want healthy homes and healthy marriages.

I. A Wife is to Honor and be Honored

There was the problem of creation, that there was no one comparable to God’s unique creation. So, God created woman and gave her to Adam as his wife.

Genesis 2:18–20 NKJV

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

Adam’s role was to honor her, and her job was to honor Adam.

A. The Issue of Submission // Not a Slave but a Queen

There’s always a lot of talk about the issue of submission in the Bible.

Ephesians 5:22–24 NKJV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Colossians 3:18 NKJV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

1 Peter 3:1–2 NKJV

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

This is a biblical reality and a command that God has given to wives, to be submissive to their husbands. There’s no way around it, it’s in there in black and white.

But submission does not make a wife a slave, it makes her a queen.

“Woman was not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”

- Matthew Henry

The honor of every man is how he treats his wife and how he is treated by his wife.

Proverbs 12:4 NKJV

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.

In healthy marriages, a husband will honor his wife and not step on her or belittle her. A wife will honor her husband and not rule over him or belittle him.

B. Qualities of a Wife

As a wife, God desires that you be virtuous. He desires that you be wise. He desires that you be compassionate.

a. Virtue

Proverbs 31:10 NKJV

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.

What is a virtuous wife?

A virtuous wife is a wife that does more than just behave, more than just submit, but she is a wife that walks with strength and with ability.

Proverbs 31:25 NKJV

Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come.

That’s why, all those men out there, who constantly belittle their wives and tear them down. Walk into the house and yell insults and demean. Who see their wives as nothing more than a sexual object to fulfill their lusts or as a maid to pick up their mess will never have a virtuous wife.

Your wife can never be strong and act with ability if you bully her and tear her down.

For the wife, to be virtuous means that you create and environment that brings your husband strength and comfort. You bring him integrity and rest. You in so many ways become his safe place, and you create your home to be his safe place.

Proverbs 31:11 NKJV

The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.

b. Wisdom

Have you ever noticed that the Bible always refers to wisdom as she?

Proverbs 1:20–21 NKJV

Wisdom calls aloud outside; She raises her voice in the open squares. She cries out in the chief concourses, At the openings of the gates in the city She speaks her words:

Proverbs 9:1–3 NKJV

Wisdom has built her house, She has hewn out her seven pillars; She has slaughtered her meat, She has mixed her wine, She has also furnished her table. She has sent out her maidens, She cries out from the highest places of the city,

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that all women are wiser than all men, just most of them!

The grammar here in all of these verses don’t necessarily mean she, but they are grammatically feminine. But, the wife that the Bible describes is a wife that acts and speaks with wisdom.

Proverbs 31:26 NKJV

She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

And when the Bible speaks of wisdom, it always contrasts wisdom with self-gratification, deception, and impulse.

A wife who is careless, a wife who is frantic, a wife who does not tame her emotions so that she can speak with strength, wisdom, and kindness is a wife that will not be honored by her husband and is a wife that doesn’t bring honor to her husband.

The Bible says that a husband’s heart is to safely trust his wife and he can’t do that if his wife is not trustworthy and wise. If she cannot exercise caution in the money she spends, if she cannot regulate her emotions and desires, and if she cannot speak with kindness to her husband or to others, he cannot trust her.

A wife who is honored by her husband and who seeks to honor her husband must be wise.

c. Compassion

Proverbs 31:20 NKJV

She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

A woman that will be honored and that seeks to honor will have compassion.

This denotes that reality of “softness”.

No man that is any man at all wants a wife that is hard and harsh. Demanding and demeaning. Lazy and consuming.

But a wife who has compassion is a wife that does more than just feel for the needs of others, she is a wife that refuses hatred, apathy, and hardness to hinder her from helping others.

This is why God made women the one who bear life and nurture their children. A good mama sees what’s best for her children’s well being and tranquility and a good father seeks to push his children into hardship and challenge so that they develop resilience and learn how to handle responsibility.

It is the God-given balance of softness and strength.

In a healthy marriage, the wife is to be honored, and she is to bring honor.

“For she was not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”

- Matthew Henry

II. A Husband is to Lead and is to be Led

There was the problem of creation, that Adam had no companion. Then there was the solution, that God gave Adam a wife, and her name was Eve.

Genesis 2:21–23 NKJV

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”

Adam was to follow God because God created Him from the dust. And Adam was to lead Eve, for she was taken out of man.

A. The Reverse Side of Submission // A Husband is a Leader not a Ruler

Since the Bible clearly states that a wife is to be in submission to her husband, that places the burden of leadership on the shoulders of the husband.

Ephesians 5:25–29 NKJV

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

Colossians 3:19 NKJV

Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

That is to be tender and soft towards them because they are soft.

1 Peter 3:7 NKJV

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

The word weaker does not mean lesser. It means fragile, that when you bully you break. And when you break you are not honored, and when you are not honored then you cannot pray, and when you cannot pray you are powerless.

For a man that is at war with his wife is at war with himself because you are one.

Headship does not make the husband a lord, it makes him a leader.

B. Lord vs. Leader

If you want to have a healthy marriage a husband has to be a leader and not a lord.

Now, Jesus Christ is our Lord, and the Bible says that all authority has been given to Him in heaven and earth.

1 Peter 3:22 NKJV

Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, angels and authorities and powers having been made subject to Him.

This means that Jesus has the authority to command us and we must obey Him. And if we don’t there will be judgement.

But a husband is not a Lord, he is a leader.

You cannot command your wife, and if you do and she responds I feel sorry for both of you. And there are those out there who think they’re lord and if their wife doesn’t do exactly what they say then they abuse them verbally or physically, and that’s not headship, that’s abuse.

As a husband, your wife is under you care, and she is to respond to your leadership and not your command. Leadership comes from influence. Influence comes when you honor your wife, when you are soft towards her, and when you love her as Christ loved the church. There is nigh a woman who loves the Lord, that won’t submit to a man that leads and doesn’t lord.

C. Leading and Being Led

The only way to lead the way the Bible commands husbands to lead is to follow.

Ephesians 5:25 NKJV

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

You can never lead the way God intended for you to lead unless you start following Jesus Christ and pattern your life after His life.

This means being a spiritual leader in your home.

The Bible commands that women be submissive to their husbands in every area, and unfortunately, most of you men can’t hold a light to the biblical wisdom and knowledge that your wife has.

Instead being a help to her in rearing your children to love the Lord, you actually make it harder. When she extends her hand to help the poor you stand in opposition. When she doesn’t forsake the assembling of herself to the body of believers you cut her down. When she goes to give back to the Lord what’s already his you talk to her like it’s your money.

Many husbands are consumed with work, ball games, gambling, and pornography and they have no connection to God. These types expect submission in their homes even though they themselves cannot submit to God. You can never have true biblical submission from your wife unless you are truly submitted to the Lord.

God has a desire that every husband be a leader and not a lord. That they be a husband who loves the Scripture, who loves to dwell on the things of God, and who loves to accomplish the will of God. And if you’re a Christian man, God has given you that ability. And if you begin to desire His Word and His presence, God will put that desire in you and He will be with you. Then your home will be healthy and happy, your wife and children will feel secure and protected, and you will be in right relationship with God.

To have a healthy marriage, a wife is to honor and be honored. A husband is to lead and be led.

III. The Marriage is to Stand Alone and Stand United

There was a problem…there was a solution…and then there was the instruction.

Genesis 2:24–25 NKJV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

A. Leave and be Joined

Leaving father and mother doesn’t mean you have to move away, it doesn’t mean you have to stop all contact, but it shows us that God’s design is for every marriage to stand on its own two feet free from outside influence.

When two people are joined, their loyalty is to each other and none other. It is to be free from in-laws and parents, it is to be free from friends and family, and it is stand united inside the four walls of their home. You cannot have a liberating and functioning marriage if you’re always including people in your business. There’s nothing wrong with help, but when a man and a woman are joined, the only thing that needs to go with them is the presence of God. If the presence of outside influence is in your marriage it will continue to struggle.

When children arrive, the loyalty doesn’t change. So many people live life for their children, and when their children leave they discover that they don’t have anything in common with their spouse. Again, nothing wrong with loving your children and giving them a good childhood, but the relationship between husband and wife is to be inseparable and take priority.

B. Become One Flesh

That is, there is no more “yours” and “mine”. The Bible says that your body no longer belongs to you but it belongs to your spouse.

1 Corinthians 7:4 NKJV

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

And you don’t have the authority over your own body, what do you have authority over?

Your wife doesn’t get an allowance, it’s her money and it doesn’t matter if she works or not, you’re one.

Your husband doesn’t get an allowance, it’s his money.

It’s not your truck and her car, you both own them. It’s not your house, it’s ya’lls house.

When you said I do, everything that you had became one. The bad habits, the flaws, and the burdens all became yours. You are one, and you need to act as one.

So many marriages are struggling because they have never endeavored to build a life together. The man has his hobbies and his career and the woman has her hobbies and her career. They have their own plans and ambitions, they have their own bank accounts and own plans for retirement. And then you wonder why you can’t get along? It’s because you’ve never sat down and gotten on the same page. The man has never endeavored to honor his wife and the wife has never endeavored to submit to her husband. It’s a vicious cycle of separation when God instructed us to be one.

C. Be Fully Known

“They were naked and not ashamed”.

This is obviously talking physical, and the physical sexual aspect of marriage is necessary. Barring some physical limitation, marriages aren’t healthy if sexual activity is withheld or misused. Marriage is the safeguard against sexual immorality.

Don’t ignore the bigger picture. At this point in history there was nothing emotional or spiritual that needed hiding. God gave us marriage as a gift. He made us for monogamy and for dedication. Marriage is God’s sanctification tool and it teaches us to be selfless, loving, and enduring.

It is a picture of how Jesus loves us. That through Him we are one with God. Imagine if God withheld his blessings on the basis that He worked for it and we didn’t?

Conclusion

Sin has done all it can to pervert what God made to be so good.

And all of Hell wants to disintegrate your marriage.

But God has given you everything necessary to have a healthy and a thriving marriage, all you have to do is do it.

What do you have to do?

Wives, honor your husband and submit.

Husbands, lead and don’t lord.

And when you get married, stand alone and stand united. Your marriage is your business and it’s yours to guard and to nurture.

Are you broken today?

If you’re here and you’re divorced and hurting, nothing I said is to demean you or make you feel less than. God sees you and He loves you just the same.

If you’re here and you’ve never trusted in Jesus to forgive you of sin, healthy marriage or not it doesn’t matter. You need to be saved.

The Bible says that Jesus is the groom and the church is His bride. When He comes, don’t you want to be one with Him? Don’t you want Him to bring you back to His home in heaven?

Pray like this…