Compassion Without Expectation

Suggested Opening Reading

Proverbs 31:18–21

1 Peter 3:8–12

Text:

Proverbs 31:20

1 Peter 3:8

Compassionate: Giving whatever is necessary to meet another’s needs without expecting anything in return

Compassion is easy to talk about.

Everyone believes you ought to have compassion.

But not everyone is willing to show compassion…because it always cost something…

time

money

energy

emotional connection

It is harder when it costs you.

And sometimes compassion costs pride because you have to step into someone else’s mess.

But the Lord Jesus Christ is the perfect example of compassion.

He did not love people from a distance.

He touched lepers, when no one would come near in Mark 1:40-42

Mark 1:40–42 KJV

40 And there came a leper to him, beseeching him, and kneeling down to him, and saying unto him, If thou wilt, thou canst make me clean. 41 And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will; be thou clean. 42 And as soon as he had spoken, immediately the leprosy departed from him, and he was cleansed.

He stopped for the hurting…

Luke 7:11–15 KJV

11 And it came to pass the day after, that he went into a city called Nain; and many of his disciples went with him, and much people. 12 Now when he came nigh to the gate of the city, behold, there was a dead man carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow: and much people of the city was with her. 13 And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not. 14 And he came and touched the bier: and they that bare him stood still. And he said, Young man, I say unto thee, Arise. 15 And he that was dead sat up, and began to speak. And he delivered him to his mother.

He gave Himself for sinners on the cross in his ultimate display of compassion.

Jesus never served to get something back.

He served simply because love gives.

Tonight we are looking at compassion as a Christlike trait.

Not soft feelings.

But Real help…Real sacrifice.

Meeting needs without demanding repayment.

Proverbs 31:20 shows a woman whose hands are open to the poor.

1 Peter 3:8 shows a church family that is tenderhearted and united.

And both passages point us to the kind of compassion that Christ produces in His people.

Let’s start with Proverbs 31.

Because compassion begins when you stop keeping your hands closed.

I. Compassion Opens the Hand

But of course there is more to it than just having an open hand physically.

It takes paying attention to those God brings across your path.

A. Compassion Sees the Need

Proverbs 31 is often looked at as the image of the ideal wife and mother.

And the bar is set very high, but really this portion is the bare minimum of Christian behavior.

Proverbs 31:20 says, “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor.”

She notices the need.

She is not too busy to see.

She is not too distracted to care.

An believe me, if you read the chapter…this woman is busy!!!

Need is all around her, and she pays attention.

If I never see needs, it is often because I am living too centered on myself.

Philippians 2:4 KJV

4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

Compassion starts when I look up and see the others around me.

B. Compassion Gives Something Real

Proverbs 31:20 continues, “Yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.”

That is not a passing thought…it’s action.

It is more than saying, “I’ll pray for you.”

It is giving what she has.

It is doing what she can.

Compassion is not measured by what I feel.

Compassion is measured by what I give.

I have seen this in action many times!

I can think of many times when someone in the church was going through a hard stretch.

Bills were piling up, but they didn’t want anyone to know.

They were trying to keep it quiet.

Most people would never have known.

But one day a man in the church noticed.

He did not make a speech about compassion.

He did not post about it on Facebook.

He just acted.

He slipped someone an envelope and said, “Don’t tell them it was me, but make sure they get this.”

Inside was enough to cover what they needed for that week.

And it wasn’t his abundance, it really cost him something.

Later, when the need came up in conversation, that same man just shrugged it off.

He did not want credit.

He did not want a thank-you.

He said, “The Lord has been good to me.”

That was it.

That is Proverbs 31:20 in real life.

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor.

She reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

Compassion gives something real.

Not just kind words.

Not just good intentions.

Real help.

Real sacrifice.

And it does it without keeping score.

James speaks of this very thing in…

James 2:15–16 KJV

15 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, 16 And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?

Words without help are not compassion.

Open hands are good.

But truthfully compassion is more than writing a check.

It is a heart posture toward people.

That takes us to 1 Peter 3:8.

II. Compassion Shapes the Heart

Before compassion shows up in the hands, it has to be formed in the heart.

Because people can do the right thing with the wrong spirit.

Peter shows us that Christlike compassion is not just action.

It is a particular kind of heart toward people.

It starts with how we see one another in the church.

A. Compassion Loves as Brethren

1 Peter 3:8 says just that, “Love as brethren.”

That is family language.

Peter is saying we treat each other like we belong to one another in Christ…because we do!

A church family does not watch a brother struggle and say, “Not my problem.”

A church family moves towards the need.

John 13:35 KJV

35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

Love is not a badge we wear.

Love is a burden we carry.

And when you love someone as family, you stop asking, “Do I have to help?”

And you start asking, “How can I help?”

So, Now Peter takes that family love and makes it practical.

Because love is not just a feeling.

Love enters another person’s situation.

So real brotherly love shows us that…

B. Compassion Shares Another’s Burden

1 Peter 3:8 says, “Having compassion one of another.”

That means I don’t stay distant from somebody else’s hurt.

I move toward it.

I listen.

I try to understand.

I refuse to minimize it.

Romans 12:15 KJV

15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.

That is a close encounter with each other.

It teaches me to be present, not just give advice, or try to fix the situation.

Sometimes compassion is not fixing.

Sometimes compassion is staying near.

And when you carry someone’s burden, you start realizing something.

How you help matters just as much as that you help.

And so Peter adds one more piece.

He deals with the spirit and the tone of our compassion.

Because compassion can be spoiled by harshness.

C. Compassion Stays Tender and Courteous

1 Peter 3:8 says, “Be pitiful, be courteous.”

Pitiful means tenderhearted.

Courteous means respectful and kind in spirit.

So compassion is not only what I give.

Compassion is the spirit I give it with.

You can meet a need and still wound a person with your tone.

Colossians 3:12 KJV

12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;

That is the Lord softening the heart so the hands can help the right way.

And when the heart stays tender, compassion does not feel like a chore.

It feels like Christ living through you.

Now let’s aim this at the core of our definition.

Giving whatever is necessary.

Without expecting anything in return.

That is where compassion becomes Christlike.

III. Compassion Gives Without Keeping Score

If compassion only lives in our words, it never gets down to the needs around us.

And if compassion only lives in our feelings, it never becomes help.

So both Peter and King Lemuel, the author Proverbs 31, push us to the same place.

Compassion becomes real when it costs something.

And the clearest test is whether we help people without needing anything back.

I want to give you three principles of giving with compassion to take home:

A. Give Whatever Is Needed

Our definition says compassionate means giving whatever is necessary to meet another’s needs.

That starts with being willing.

Willing to be inconvenienced.

Willing to be interrupted.

Willing to spend.

Willing to sacrifice.

Proverbs 31:20 does not describe a woman who merely notices the poor.

It describes a woman who stretches out her hand.

She reaches forth her hands to the needy.

That means something leaves our hand.

Time

Food

Money

Effort

Presence

A ride

A call

A meal

A visit

A listening ear

James 2:15–16 says if a brother or sister is naked and destitute, and we only give words, it is empty.

That verse forces us to ask a hard question.

What does my compassion actually do.

Because true compassion does not stop at sympathy.

It moves toward supply.

Now let me say this carefully.

Giving whatever is necessary does not mean ignoring wisdom.

It does not mean enabling sinful choices.

It does not mean putting your family in harm’s way.

But it does mean I am willing to do what love requires.

The Bible is clear about the Christians responsibility:

Galatians 6:2 KJV

2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

That is not just poetic language.

It’s a command.

And it tells us something important.

Compassion is not an optional add-on.

It is part of obeying Christ.

And here is where it gets personal.

Most of us do not struggle with compassion because we have no ability to help.

We struggle because we want to stay comfortable.

We want compassion to be affordable.

But Bible compassion is not always affordable.

It is often costly.

And that is what makes it Christlike.

B. Give Without Expecting Anything Back

This is where the heart gets tested.

Because many people will help as long as it is appreciated.

They will help as long as they get thanked.

They will help as long as it is returned.

But Christian compassion is different.

It does not help to be repaid.

It helps because we have been loved.

Luke 6:35 KJV

35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.

I know, that is not natural.

It’s supernatural.

It’s Christ working in and for a believer.

But, if we are not careful, this is where bitterness creeps in.

Because we start keeping score.

I helped them.

They never helped me.

I checked on them.

They never checked on me.

I gave.

They took.

And if we are not careful, scorekeeping hardens the heart we were just trying to soften.

Romans 12:20 KJV

20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

That verse does not say, “Feed him if he deserves it.”

It says, feed him.

That is not enabling.

That is obeying.

That is leaving the results with God.

Here is the truth.

When I keep score, I am asking people to give me what only God can give me.

I am looking for repayment in the wrong place.

But when I give it to God, I can help people freely.

And I can leave the outcome in His hands.

C. Let Christ Be the Pattern and the Power

If we try to manufacture compassion, we will run out.

Because people are messy.

Needs are endless.

And our hearts get tired.

So the real question is not only, “What should I do.”

The real question is, “Where do I get this kind of heart.”

We get it from Christ.

Jesus did not love us because we could repay Him.

We could not.

Jesus did not serve us because we deserved it.

He loved us while we were yet sinners.

Romans 5:8 KJV

8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

And He gave Himself.

Not a little.

Not leftover.

He gave all.

2 Corinthians 8:9 KJV

9 For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich.

He stepped down.

He took on flesh.

He carried our griefs.

He bore our sins.

He went to the cross.

And He did it with no expectation that we could pay Him back.

That is why compassion is not just a duty.

It is a response.

1 John 4:19 KJV

19 We love him, because he first loved us.

And when we are filled with His love, we stop asking, “What will I get out of this?”

We start asking, “How can I show the love I have received?”

And right here is the hope for our church.

Compassion does not depend on having a certain personality.

Some people are naturally warm.

Some people are more reserved.

But Christ can make any believer compassionate.

Because compassion is not personality.

Compassion is Christlikeness.

So when you feel your heart getting hard, do not only try harder.

Come back to Jesus.

Look at the cross again.

Remember how patient He has been with you.

Remember how many times He met your needs.

Remember how many times He forgave you.

That will soften you again.

Conclusion

Tonight we have seen compassion from two angles.

Proverbs 31 showed us compassion in the hands.

Hands that stretch out.

Hands reaching forth.

Help that is real.

1 Peter 3:8 showed us compassion in the heart.

Love as brethren.

A burden-sharing spirit.

Tenderness and courtesy that keeps compassion from becoming cold.

Now God is bringing us to one clear conclusion.

Compassion is not talk.

Compassion is love that acts.

Compassion is giving what is necessary to meet a need.

And doing it without keeping score.

Because that is what Christ did for us.

So here is a simple way to respond.

Ask the Lord to open your eyes this week.

Not to everybody’s needs.

Just to one.

One person.

One situation.

One burden.

2. Then ask Him to show you what “something real” looks like.

A visit.

A meal.

A ride.

A gift.

A note.

A phone call.

An hour of listening.

A prayer with them, not just for them.

And when you feel the old voice rise up that says, “But they won’t appreciate it,” remember this.

You are not serving for applause.

You are serving as unto Christ.

Colossians 3:23 KJV

23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

And the Lord is a faithful rewarder.

Not always in money.

Not always in ease.

But in spiritual fruit.

In a tender heart.

In a church that feels like a family.

In a testimony that points people to Jesus.

Oh, I pray that the Lord, will make us a compassionate people.

Make us a church where needs are noticed.

Where burdens are shared.

Where hearts stay tender.

Where help is real.

And where love does not keep score.

I pray that He will make us like Jesus.