Disciples Love

Jesus gave some commands that He says would define who was (and who was not) his disciples. The primary means of recognition: the way we love each other. We are supernaturally empowered by the command of Jesus to love each other “famously.” What does it look like to do this: when we disagree, when we hurt each other, when we sin, when we struggle, when we fight, when “it gets real?”

Pumpkin Pie

Many moons ago, one of my first Thanksgivings celebrated here in Colorado, and it was also my birthday, and I had the great privilege of celebrating it at “Grandma Rood’s” house. Phil and Alice’s Mom.

She was “Grandma Rood” to everyone and anyone who passed through her house, I think.

But I had talked a great deal about how much I love pumpkin pie. My Mom growing up would make SO many pumpkin pies, and we’d have it for breakfast, and after supper, and instead of dinner.

And hearing this, Grandma Rood made me a pumpkin pie. Everyone sang Happy Birthday, I made a joke like “Hey, what are the rest of you going to eat, this one’s mine!” and dug in. Everyone watching.

There are some very important ingredients in a pumpkin pie, and you have to be careful with substitutions. If you, for example, substitute the sugar with some salt, the pie will have a slightly different taste to it.

It’s subtle.

Mark of the Disciple

How do we know when we are doing it? When we are being disciples… and when we are making disciples of Jesus.

We need to have crystal clarity on what it is that we are seeking, doing.

It is not just loving on people, though leading someone towards Jesus is certainly loving. It is not just proclaiming the gospel, though every step of a disciple is further into the gospel, the good news of Life in Jesus’ Kingdom.

It is those who respond, first and foremost, to Jesus invitation to Follow… and they Follow. And we invite folks to follow us as we follow Jesus.

Here is the hard part: there are many who say they follow Jesus who are not. They aren’t following the actual Jesus, Jesus as he actually is, they aren’t listening to his commands, looking like he looks… and they may have no actual interest in doing so.

They are “Christians” in name only, which means nothing.

What do we look for? In ourselves? In our disciples? What is the primary recognizable mark of a disciple?

Disciples Love

Disciples love each other.

Disciples love their neighbors.

Disciples love the hurting, the broken, the hungry, the homeless, the lost, the alien and the immigrant, the prisoners, the downtrodden and abused and accused.

Disciples love their enemies.

Does that sound like someone Jesus said? Even though we KNOW how important this is to Jesus, let’s walk through the actual commands of Jesus to see how important it is to him:

What did Jesus say was the most important commandment?

Matthew 22:37–39 ESV

37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

The most important commands. And the one that would be most externally recognizable distinguishing mark of a disciple of Jesus:

John 13:34–35 ESV

34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

That’s how they will know you, recognize you as a disciple of Jesus. An explicit outward mark of discipleship. They way you love eachother.

In his last days, in the upper room, Jesus reiterated:

John 15:12–14 ESV

12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.

He goes on to say “I called you friends, not servants” and “I chose you, appointed you” and then repeats:

John 15:17 ESV

17 These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

Is this important to Jesus? Yes. Of utmost importance. I don’t think he can underline it enough, emphasize it enough.

For those who follow Jesus, that first decisive / deciding mark of an apostle, the first next absolutely critical, absolutely recognizable, crystal clear most important command is this:

Love. Love God, Love Others. So it is in prime position in our church covenant for exactly that reason.

As disciples of Jesus we covenant together to love God and love others, inside and outside the church fellowship in word & action.

The disciples knew this was important, taught it again and again. It is the first of the fruits of the Spirit (which is actually singular, so maybe the fruit of the Spirit).

John, who calls himself “the Beloved” of Jesus unpacks this command of Jesus:

1 John 3:11 ESV

11 For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.

and on in 1 John 4:7-11

(and this is where we hear, we love because he first loved us 1 John 4:19)

And if you say you “love God” but hate your brother, you’re a liar (1 John 4:20).

Honestly, I just want everyone to read 1 John. It’s ALL about love.

Why is “our” (Christendom) reputation so bad?

Is it possible at all that we are doing this wrong? Somehow?

So… how can the church be getting this so wrong? How can disciples of Jesus be missing the boat on this?

The reputation of Christians today is more like Pumpkin Pie with Salt instead of Sugar.

We encounter folks who are Shocked when we actually show love and grace, because what they expect is judgment and condemnation.

What is Love?

So if we know this is of incredible importance, the MOST importance… how can we not be famous for it? Could we be misunderstanding what love is?

It isn’t just being nice.

It isn’t just a smile or a hug.

It certainly isn’t just repetitions of the words “I love you.”

So, here’s my definition. It’s working, I made it up, but let’s see if we like it. And most importantly, does it fit with what Jesus teaches and models for love?

The Giving of Me for the Gooding of You

Try this on: Love is the giving of me for the gooding of you. Giving what’s mine for your good.

It is not primarily a feeling, it is action and intention. When I say “I love you” I don’t mean “I feel this way towards you” but “I commit to you, to give of me, for your good” and “feeling like it” will come and go.

If it isn’t mine, it’s not love, it’s due… or redistribution. If it’s not “giving” it is duty or payment. If it’s not for your good, if it’s because I feel guilty, or even something bad for you, hurtful to you… that’s not love.

But when I give up my time, my resources, my thoughtful attention, my words… to help you, encourage you, lift you up… that’s love.

And everything we have, everything that is “mine” is only “mine” because God gave it to me, created it in me, created it for me. My time, my resources, my “talents”… all gifts from God.

Which makes SO much sense of verses like “we love because he first loved us.” God gives of Himself for our Good. For the “gooding” of us. It is out of that abundance that we then have anything to pour out for others.

It is sacrificial, necessarily so.

This is how we are to love one another, our fellow disciples, looking, searching for opportunities to give out of the abundance He has given us, for the good of each other. Discipling one another is a big and beautiful piece of that, giving of our time, attention, knowledge, to teach and lead folks to Jesus. That is love.

This is how we are to love those in our community, ESPECIALLY the hurting, the lost, the broken, the homeless, the prisoners, the aliens and immigrant, the accused and abused. Giving of us, of what God has given us, time, talent and treasure… and seeking the good of our friends. We get beautiful opportunities to do so right in our community, in the park, in the parking lot, anywhere we go.

This is how we are to love our enemies. Ooof. Because he first loved us, we are supernaturally empowered to love even our enemies. Out of the abundance he has given us, giving up what is mine, for their good.

And this feels great. When people give of themselves and do something for our good… wow, that is so great. I love it, I receive it, I appreciate it.

If we are SUPER-naturally empowered to do this, why do we, Christians, disciples of Jesus, have such a TERRIBLE reputation?

I have a theory, let’s try this on:

The Order of Love

The apostle Paul says if I am doing great things, but it is without love, I am a loud and annoying noise, a clanging gong.

Pumpkin pie without the sugar. Or better yet, pumpkin pie without the pumpkin!

And we Christians are trained to “not be of the world” and to “flee temptation” and to “walk in righteousness” and “put off sin” and “be holy,” all these things.

And maybe from a “zeal for righteousness” or just good old fashioned superiority, judgment and condemnation, we can be all about pointing out sin, struggle, brokenness, keeping sinners out until they get fixed “enough”, clean “enough”, good “enough”

… and our “love” comes across as salty, or conditional, or absent entirely.

How did Jesus do this? I’m wondering if this is normative.

Here’s an actual sinner, guilty of sin, caught in the act.

John 8:3–4 ESV

3 The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst 4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery.

John 8:7–11 ESV

7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”]]

Now, we have to be careful of building a theology off this particular text, it probably is not part of the original text. (Happy to talk about that later if you’re curious). But I think it is just the best example of a consistent pattern. The Woman at the Well would be another example.

Does Jesus ever start with a confrontation of sin? Yes. With “church people.” In the temple, with the Pharisees, with the churches of Revelation, with his disciples. With people who should know better.

But with sinners, with the hurting, with the broken, with the lost, with tax-collecters and prostitutes, with Gentiles, Jesus leads with love first, grace first, healing first.

He waits until all the accusers have gone home, then he says “neither do I accuse you…” THEN go and sin no more.

We like to start with the “go and sin no more” bit. We rush to it. Especially for “their” sin (whoever they is), as long as it isn’t “my” sin.

Jesus loves first, always. I think that takes the form of mercy first, compassion first, connection first, grace first, MIRACLE first… and only from that place of connection and relationship, leading into freedom from sin.

The further away we get from a person, from relationship, the quicker we are to condemn first. We will say “convict” or “confront” or some other word… but conviction comes by the Spirit.

You are a terrible Holy Spirit.

Confront can be a prophetic act, but it is rarely your job, always initiated and led by the Spirit, and I think the model of Jesus has it following a work of grace-first, love-first, connection-first.

Disciples Love.

They Love First. They Love Everybody. They Love Always

Disciples Love

How do we do that?

When we encounter folks personally, we do this.

We love - the giving of us for the gooding of others.

And then, with someone who is following Jesus, a disciple, maybe someone you are discipling, there is opportunity (actual opportunity) to see some freedom from sin, walking into righteousness.

Very very very rarely there is prophetic opportunity to call out sin “among the nations.” But that is rare, and even in Scripture, that is almost always actually setting up a message to convict God’s people, not really about the people outside the room at all. The only exception I can think of is Nineveh, and I don’t know what else the Spirit did to prepare that soil that when Jonah reluctantly invited them to repentance, they actually did.

That is not the normal pattern, it is the VERY rare exception.

The normal pattern is to lead with love, giving of yourself for the good of others, REGARDLESS of their status. REGARDLESS of their walk. REGARDLESS of their identity, or gender, or sexual preference, or politics, or immigration status, or job…

Our job as disciples of Jesus is to love, regardless of theirs sin.

When do you correct sin? Certainly it is after showing love and grace. I suspect, in the footsteps of Jesus, it is after all the other accusers have left, and after “neither do I condemn you.” And, practically, what we see in the letters of the New Testament, it is when someone is your disciple, seeking your leadership in how to walk in the footsteps of Jesus. That’s the only time they are listening anyway.

I see y’all doing that in the park. We have learned that from Ron and others. Even before folks need healing from addiction, or a change of circumstance, above every thing they could possibly need… they need Jesus. Now we still want to, and we still do meet any other needs that we can when we can, as God gives us the ability.

Love to Easter

How does this lead to Easter?

Jesus didn’t just talk about “laying down his life for his friends.” Lots of folks talk a big game.

Jesus laid down his life for his friends. For you and me.

The giving of Jesus for the forever “gooding” of us.

And did he wait until we were “right” or “good” or “enough” or “clean” or any other thing?

While we were yet enemies, sinners, traitors, betrayers of God… he died for us. He gave all of Himself for all of us.

We walk in his footsteps, in His love.