John 19:25-27 - Love shows through sacrificial care.

Our former beloved keyboard player, Mike Williams, talked a lot about his parents health.

When Mike passed away, I got to meet his sister Berniece and we’ve become good buddies.

Berniece and Randy are absolutely delightful people. She is the spearhead that takes care of her parents, Bruce and Garnet.

Berniece told me that there was a time when Bruce had gotten sick and needed an operation and was going to take 8-12 weeks to recover.

So for two whole months, Berniece’s husband Randy lived in their house alone so that she could go take care of her dad.

They have their own lives, their own responsibilities, their own concerns.

Both Berniece and Randy sat aside the normal to embrace a life that was out of the ordinary, and in doing so, both were caring for Bruce.

Berniece and Randy show us what Jesus showed us during an interaction that He had with Mary while He was on the cross,

Big Idea: Love shows through sacrificial care.

Stand to read

John 19:25–27 ESV

25 but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.

Leader: This is God’s Word

Everyone: Thanks be to God

Jesus mother is standing at the foot of the cross.

Imagine the emotions going through her.

The child that she gave birth to, nursed, raised up is now hanging on a criminal’s cross.

She must remember the time that she brought Jesus to the Temple to be presented to the Lord.

While they were there, there was a man named Simeon who was promised by the Holy Spirit that He wouldn’t see death before he had seen the Christ.

When Simeon saw Joseph/Mary presenting Jesus, he took Jesus into his arms.

Luke 2:29–32 “29 “Lord, now you are letting your servant depart in peace, according to your word; 30 for my eyes have seen your salvation 31 that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, 32 a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and for glory to your people Israel.””

Joseph/Mary were amazed by what was said.

Then a jarring and prophetic word.

Luke 2:34–35 “34 And Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is appointed for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign that is opposed 35 (and a sword will pierce through your own soul also), so that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed.””

Mary had brought the greatest joy into the world and it would also bring her the greatest sorrow.

Mary didn’t feel this word at the time, because she’s holding the Savior of the world in her arms.

But now, here she stands looking at her baby she once held in her arms being held to a cross by nails to die for the sins of the world.

Few moments in human history are more sorrowful than this—Watching the Son of God die.

The baby she nursed, the boy she raised, the man who brought her nothing but joy was now the sword that pierced her heart.

Everyone else deserted Jesus—Mary stood at the foot of the cross.

There are three women standing with Mary.

These women had experienced Jesus’s love and mercy—now they’re in real pain watching Jesus die.

More than that, they loved Mary far too much to let her endure this alone.

No words are spoken—They’re just there.

A ministry of presence is a profound gift.

Love stays present in pain (v. 25)

When show we are present with someone suffering

These women were not going to allow Mary to suffer alone.

No where does it record them ever saying anything, but their presence in the suffering was enough.

My dad is not a man of many words—but he’s my guy I call when it all hits the fan.

When my world is in profound chaos, I usually call my dad.

Not for profound wisdom, but for presence.

In my my uncomfortable moments, my dad doesn’t say many words—He usually just makes eye contact and you just know.

When Hilary went into the hospital in 2024 with Eden, my world came to an abrupt halt.

When I called to tell my dad, the first thing he said was, “Do I need to come there?”

He knew there was nothing he could do to fix it. But simply being there, not even to say a word—just be there—somehow makes the burden lighter.

When we are present with someone while suffering

This is the model that Jesus gives us:

Gospel presentation

What makes this moment astonishing is that Jesus cares for His mother while dying for your sins on the cross.

He’s not just hanging on the cross

Jesus is taking judgement in your place.

He is enduring the full weight of God’s wrath for your sins.

The same love that He showed Mary, He shows to us sinners.

Because Jesus died and rose again, anyone who trusts in Him will be forgiven of all their sins and brought into God’s family.

We experience the love of God through Jesus’s sacrificial care for us.

Jesus is bearing the sins of the world and He notices His mothers tears.

This is exactly what Jesus does next.

Transition

Jesus is dying on the cross, yet looks after His mom.

John 19:26–27 ESV

26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.

Jesus assigns John to look after Mary.

While Jesus was dying on the cross, Jesus was still caring for His mother’s needs.

There’s no biblical account but Joseph had likely died making Mary a widow.

Jews took their families, but especially widows seriously.

With Joseph’s death, Mary was under Jesus’s care.

Now, Jesus entrusts the care of His mother to one of His best friends.

Jesus is perfectly modeling the Fifth commandment (Exodus 20:12

Exodus 20:12 ESV

12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Beyond “obey” your father and mother, the command is to “honor.”

Years of obedience to your parents come to an end, years of honoring them do not.

In His last hours, Jesus sought to honor and love Mary by caring for her needs as a widow.

Sometime during Jesus’s life, Mary’s husband Joseph died and it became Jesus’s responsibility to care for her.

Now He knows that He will not be able to care for or comfort her in His bodily presence—So He ensures that her needs are going to be taken care of by His dear friend, John.

While all the other disciples had fled and stayed away, John came back.

Jesus didn’t rebuke John from running away—He gave John grace by giving him the privilege to care for His mother.

Church, from the cross Jesus shows us…

Love obeys God in ordinary faithfulness (v. 26-27)

Jesus is dying on the cross to atone for the sins of the world, yet He doesn’t overlook the “ordinary” responsibilities given to Him.

We could give ourselves over to the most Christian-like work and be in total disobedience if we are not honoring what God has given us to steward.

As a pastor, I could give myself over to sermon prep, meeting with church members, and praying.

But if in doing so I give no time to my wife or children, if I’m not present in their lives, then I’m am operating outside of what God has called me to.

I’m not walking in step with the Spirit, regardless of how spiritual I look.

In a similar way, Jesus chomped on the religious leaders in Mark 7.

Mark 7:10–13 ESV

10 For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ 11 But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban” ’ (that is, given to God)— 12 then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, 13 thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And many such things you do.”

Jewish tradition allowed a person to legally send their money to the Temple instead of using it to help their parents.

Jesus actually condemns this because it directly opposes what God has commanded.

Should you tithe and provide for the church? Yes!

Should you neglect the care of your parents to do so to look more godly? Absolutely not.

We must honor God by honoring our parents.

This command is not a suggestion.

It’s so important that Jesus modeled it from the cross.

A word for those abused by/hard-to-love parents

There are some of us who are sensitive to this topic because we’ve had parents that we deemed unworthy of honor.

This is something I’ve needed to wrestle with too.

Honor the role; not the merit.

Let this breathe. This is a heavy word.

Christians are a people of grace and mercy.

On merit, we have all dishonored ourselves and the Lord.

We don’t deserve to be commended to God, but Christ went to the cross so that we can be restored to a right relationship with Him.

Jesus gives us a new life with new dignity.

We don’t stand before God because of our merit, because of our role as a believer in Christ.

If you’re not a Christian, that can be your story today.

You can be brought into the family of God by faith in the Son of God.

God has sovereignly placed you with those parents so that you can now shine light in the darkness.

Obedience is worship to God

The Christian life is lived in obedience to God’s commands.

We don’t obey to be loved by the Lord; we obey because we love Him.

The Lord has called us to obedience in order to display His light in the dark.

It would be far easier for us to say, “I’m not my parent’s parent. Figure it out.”

That’s certainly not the position that Berniece and Randy took.

They committed two whole months of their lives to discomfort so that Berniece could take on the sacrificial responsibility of taking care of her dad to display her love for Him.

How is the Lord calling you to live out this type of sacrificial love and care to those He’s given you?

Take the Next Step

Speak a word of gratitude to your parents.

This does not play out the same for everyone.

This does not require you to live under oppression—This requires you to acknowledge the role that God has placed them in.

Some require more forgiveness and honoring from afar.

If reconciliation is possible, pray for the words.

Ask the Spirit to give you boldness, grace, and the words to speak.

Identify how you can glorify God in ordinary ways.

How can you delight in God through your ordinary life?

How can you leverage your life to show God’s glory to the people around you?

Conclusion

Church, Jesus didn’t just tell us what love should look like

He showed it on the cross.

While Jesus hung on a cross to atone for your sins, He sacrificially loved and cared for Mary.

The same hands that arranged a home for His mother were the hands that were pierced for our salvation.

Since we have recieved Christ’s sacrificial love, we can display it to the rest of the world.

Not in the glamorous and heroic moments.

But in the mundane and ordinary.

We get to live displaying Christ’s love that shows through sacrificial care.