Molly & Mitch Wedding
Biblical Foundation of Marriage
The Bible says, “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church [His bride] and gave himself for it” (Eph. 5:24–25). We are assembled in this place where we worship God and where we preach Jesus Christ and Him crucified (see 1 Cor. 2:2).
These two persons would have chosen no other place to declare the love of their hearts for each other, for they both believe Jesus to be the Son of God and their Savior. Thus, Scott and Stephanie are already united in Christ as believers. They are bound together in love for Christ and His church. Now that bond takes on a new and beautiful dimension through the covenant of marriage. They believe their love for each other was initiated from above and is a gift from God. Because of their deep conviction that God has drawn them together for His divine purposes, we come with abundant joy to thank Him for what He has done in their lives and to entrust their future to Him.
Scott and Stephanie, if indeed your love runs as deeply as you have heretofore expressed, please join right hands.
In all of life, rare is the moment that is filled with more hope, more joy, and more expectancy than this sacred moment. By God’s design this moment is never to be repeated, but rather always to be cherished. The vows you are about to make will be locked in your memories as a reminder that you have pledged to love for a lifetime the one who stands willingly and expectantly beside you. Through the years, your remembrance of this moment is intended to strengthen your marriage and to cause you to give thanks to God for having each other.
Scott, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together after Gods ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others keep yourself only for her, so long as you both shall live?
Response: I will.
Stephanie, will you have this man to be your wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you serve him, love, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others keep yourself only for him, so long as you both shall live?
Response: I will.
Scott, and Stephanie, God loves you both. He has saved you for the life to come and He has given you each other for as long as you both shall live in this life. I know your families love you. Our hearts will be filled with parental pride as you continue to find and fulfill God’s plan for your lives. Our prayers will find their way to the throne of grace and God will grant us assurance of His provision and protection for you. From the moment we learned you were to be born, you have been in our prayers. Now we rejoice with you in yet another answer to our prayers and yours.
You are preparing to walk in the way which has been God’s design from the beginning of time. God’s Word declares, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).
Scott, leaving your parents is for the purpose of leading your wife. To cleave to your wife is to cling to her for life. The Bible says, “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth” (Prov. 6:18). Again the Bible says, “Husbands … in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you in the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Pet. 3:7, NIV).
Scott, as you accept the love of this young woman, my daughter, I ask you to remember to show love and compassion and to care for her in the many small ways which touch a woman’s heart. Although you are charged by God Himself to be the head of your home, remember to listen to your wife and to value her opinions. These opinions will come from one whose very heart beats for your best and whose desire is to please you and encourage you. Praise her in your home and praise her in the company of others. Before you can lead your wife and your children in knowing Christ better and loving Him more, you must first “set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Col. 3:2).
God’s Word also says, “Wives … your beauty … should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands” (1 Pet. 3:4–5, NIV).
Stephanie, as you receive the love of this young man, my son-in-law, I ask you to remember to love him with the tenderness of a woman’s touch, to speak softly, yet honestly and to reassure him of your undying devotion. Let him see the beauty which comes from deep within the heart of a woman who loves Jesus.
Biblical Message to Couple and Congregation
I. God’s Word gives us the
original ideal for marriage.
In Genesis we read:
“And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Gen. 2:20–25).
In order for you, ____________ (groom), and you, ____________ (bride), to have a marriage that is a duet and not a duel, you must understand God’s blueprint for marriage. Moses not only wrote of God’s original plan for marriage, but Jesus also referred to this passage in Matthew 19, as did Paul in Ephesians 5.
A. Christian marriage was desired by God for His people.
It was created for the purpose of human pleasure. We see the phrase over and over again, “God saw that it was good,” in the description of His creation. This is the first time in all the Bible that God says something is not good. It was not good for man to be alone. In the original Hebrew, it is an emphatic negative that appears first in the phrase. Literally, it states, “Not good is man’s aloneness.” Unless God has called a person to a life of celibacy and singleness, it is not good to be alone. The Lord desires that we know the wonderful pleasure of marriage.
Marriage was also desired by God for the purpose of human partnership. God created woman to be a “helpmeet” or a helping partner for man. The Hebrew indicates that this is someone who “assists another to reach complete fulfillment.” It is also used in the Old Testament of one rescuing another. Man had a gnawing need that could only be met by woman, one “suitable for him,” literally “corresponding to” him. She would provide the missing pieces to the puzzle of his existence. Augustine was right: “If God meant woman to rule over man, He would have taken her out of Adam’s head. Had He designed her to be his slave, He would have taken her from his feet. But God took woman out of man’s side, for He made her to be a helpmeet.”
B. Christian marriage is also determined by God.
Love’s preparation occurred as God caused Adam to sleep in His Will. Both of you have been waiting on God’s timing and for His best. The Lord has prepared you for this moment. That often difficult time of waiting is over.
You are also learning about love’s revelation. When Adam saw Eve, he exclaimed, “This is now bones of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (See Gen. 2:23). It was love at first sight. As the Living Bible states, “This is it!” They received each other as God’s perfect and beautiful gifts. God had truly revealed His love to them in fleshly form. As James put it, “Every perfect gift is from above” (Jas. 1:17). In this wedding ceremony you are acknowledging that you will continue to receive that gift for the rest of your days. You are saying in effect: “Lord, this is exactly what I’ve needed. I cannot improve on your gift at all.”
Adam said, “This is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (author’s italics). God also desires that we understand love’s possessions. He is responsible for Eve. She belongs to him, not as a thing but as a treasure. “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies” (Eph. 5:28, NASB).
This receiving and giving is particularly expressed in what the Bible calls “giving and blessing.” You bless each other through the spoken word. It is certainly true that death and life are in the power of the tongue (see Prov. 18:21). The death and life of your marriage will be determined by how you speak to each other—with words of kindness and affirmation or with words of criticism and anger. Remember that Solomon praised his wife on seven different occasions in the Song of Solomon, saying, “Behold, you are fair, my love.” These statements will enrich and preserve your marriage: “I love you.” “I am so grateful God gave you to me.” “I was wrong, will you forgive me?”
II. We must not only consider God’s original ideal but the actual principles for Christian marriage that are involved in this idea.
A. We must leave our parents.
You can cut the apron strings without severing the heart cords. We must remember that the constellation of the family includes satellite members. Though we leave, we do not abandon, ignore, or mistreat parents. We simply change relationships. But the wife’s leader and lover is the husband.
B. We also need to cleave to each other.
This word means to glue or to cling. Marriage is for life. God sees it as a covenant, according to Malachi 2:14–15. To break the covenant is to violate a sacred commitment. You must enter this covenant with no thought of a back door. Marriage is seen in the New Testament as an illustration of the relationship between Christ and His church. ‘Till death do us part is not a verbal formality but a spiritual reality. For many it is ‘till debt do us part or ‘till disagreement do us part. Decide today that you will never talk about or even think of getting a divorce. Don’t use it as a weapon when you become angry. Surrender is not an option if you want to win a war or succeed in a marriage.
To cleave indicates an adhesive. Jesus Christ is the glue that will hold you together. He wants to be Lord of your emotions; this brings romance. He wants to be Lord of your mind; this brings understanding. He wants to be the Lord of your spirit; this brings servanthood and communion. Surrender to Him totally, yielding your body as a living sacrifice.
C. The third principle is that we are to weave together.
We become one flesh. God’s beautiful pattern is that one plus one equals one. Unity is not uniformity; Eve was not a female Adam. It is the acceptance of each other’s uniqueness. It is the blending of two tributaries into one channel that flows in the same direction.
D. We must not only weave together but achieve intimacy.
Again, this is seen in the one-flesh relationship. When all of the other factors come together, then physical union is truly complete and beautiful. The Bible says that the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed (See Gen. 2:25). They had a beautiful relationship that was free from guilt. But this aspect of the relationship comes last, not first. The Hebrew term “naked” suggest the idea of laid bare, emphasizing total and complete nakedness. There were no hidden agendas or fears. There was total transparency. Intimacy is not the answer to a shaky marriage but the result of a solid marriage.
Adam and Eve realized their nakedness and felt guilty when they sinned. God’s answer to sin was the death of an animal whose skins would cover the first couple. It was then prophesied that one would come and die for the sins of the world. His name is Jesus Christ. He gave His blood that our sins might be forgiven. Jesus Christ is the answer to loneliness, guilt, and fear. It is our prayer that all who hear this ceremony will come to Him in repentance and faith.
The Couple’s Vows