Considerate of Others

Genesis 50:15-21

Philippians 2:3-5

Considerate: Thoughtful of others and of their feelings and opinions

We live in a world that teaches us to protect our rights, defend our feelings, and prioritize our preferences.

Most people are not trained to notice others.

They have trained themselves to only notice themselves.

How did that make me feel?

What do I want?

What do I think?

What do I deserve?

But Christlike character always moves in the opposite direction.

The character of Christ teaches us to look beyond ourselves and to lovingly consider others.

That is the heart of being considerate.

It is being thoughtful of others and of their feelings and opinions.

It is more than good manners.

It is more than politeness.

It is the grace of God shaping the way we respond to people.

Joseph is a beautiful example of this kind of spirit in Genesis 50.

His brothers had wronged him deeply.

They had hated him, sold him, lied about him, and left him for dead as far as their father knew.

Years later, Joseph had the power to make them suffer.

But instead of using his position to crush them, he used it to comfort them.

That is a picture of considerate grace.

And when we come to Philippians 2:4, we are reminded that this is not just Joseph’s story.

This is the mind of Christ.

“Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”

Tonight we are not just learning a better way to treat people.

We are learning a Christlike way to love people.

I. Considerate People Look Past Their Own Pain

Joseph had every earthly reason to be harsh with his brothers.

Humanly speaking, no one would have blamed him for getting even.

He had been wounded by the very people who should have loved him most.

Yet when his brothers stood before him in fear, Joseph did not let his old pain govern his present response.

That is where consideration begins.

It begins when I stop letting my hurt become an excuse for hurting others.

Before Joseph ever comforted his brothers with his words, he had already dealt with his wounds before God.

A. He Refused to Make Himself the Center

When Joseph’s brothers came to him after Jacob died, they were terrified.

They thought Joseph had only spared them for their father’s sake.

Now they assumed revenge would finally come.

But pay attention to where Joseph placed the focus of his choices…

Joseph answered them in Genesis 50:19, “Fear not: for am I in the place of God?”

That is a remarkable statement.

Joseph understood that he was not the judge of all the earth.

He was not sitting on God’s throne.

He was not responsible to settle every account personally.

Considerate people do not make everything revolve around themselves.

They do not say, “I have been hurt, so now everything is about my hurt.”

They remember that God is sovereign, God is just, and God knows how to deal with every wrong.

Romans 12:19 KJV

19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

When I insist on taking God’s place, I will become harsh, and defensive, and self-focused.

But when I rest in God’s place, I can become gentle, patient, and considerate.

There is a great difference between feeling pain and being ruled by pain.

Joseph felt the wound.

But he would not let the wound become his master.

That is a very important truth for us.

Some people carry old hurts into every conversation, every relationship, and even every ministry.

Because they were wounded once, they now speak sharply, they assume motives, and they react quickly.

But Christlike consideration says, “I am not going to let yesterday’s pain control my spirit today.”

Perhaps one reason some people are inconsiderate is because they have never truly brought their hurt to the Lord.

They rehearse it.

They feed it.

They protect it.

But they do not surrender it.

Joseph’s life teaches us that considerate people are not pain-free people.

They are people who have handed their pain to God.

As Joseph looked away from himself, he also looked upward to God.

That perspective changed not only what he felt, but how he interpreted the entire story.

B. He Recognized God’s Providence in the Pain

Genesis 50:20 is one of the great statements of faith in all the Bible.

“But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good.”

It took great faith to say that!

He did not deny the evil.

He named it honestly.

What his brothers did was evil!

Consideration does not require pretending sin didn’t happen.

It doesn’t require calling evil good.

But it does require seeing that God is greater than the evil that has been done against us.

Joseph could be considerate because he believed that God had a purpose that was bigger than his suffering.

He understood that God had used the very thing that was truly meant to destroy him to place him where he could preserve life.

That perspective changed everything.

A bitter person says, “All I can see is what they did to me.”

A considerate person says, “God has been at work even through what they did to me.”

That does not make the pain small.

It makes God big.

And when God becomes bigger in our eyes, self becomes smaller.

That is one reason Philippians 2 is so powerful.

It is a chapter that lifts our eyes to Christ.

When Christ fills the horizon, self begins to shrink.

A man who sees the hand of God in his suffering is much more likely to show grace in his relationships.

A woman who believes the Lord is working all things together for good will be much more ready to answer softly and patiently.

A bitter heart usually grows in the soil of “Why did this happen to me?”

A considerate heart grows in the soil of “Lord, what are You doing through this?”

There is an old saying that hurt people hurt people.

That is often so true.

But grace can change that.

In Christ, hurt people can help people.

Wounded people can comfort people.

Joseph is proof of that.

You can take your hurt and let God use it to help others!

Once Joseph’s heart was settled before God, his words became soothing instead of sharp.

That leads us into the next mark of a considerate spirit.

II. Considerate People Speak Peace to Fearful Hearts

Genesis 50:21 says, “Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.”

What a beautiful verse.

Joseph had power, but he used that power tenderly.

He had authority, but he wrapped that authority in kindness.

He did not just do the right thing coldly.

He did the right thing compassionately.

That is a mark of Christlike consideration.

A. He Calmed Their Fears

Joseph began with these words, “Fear ye not.”

He knew what his brothers were feeling.

He knew they were afraid.

He knew guilt was rising in their hearts.

He knew they were expecting judgment.

And one of the first things he did was speak words that were meant to settle them rather than shake them.

Considerate people notice when others are troubled.

Proverbs 15:1 KJV

1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: But grievous words stir up anger.

How many situations in a church, in a home, or even in a friendship would be better if we simply learned to answer softly?

Some people are factually right, but relationally rough.

They tell the truth, but they do it without tenderness.

That is not the spirit of Christ.

Jesus said in Matthew 11:29

Matthew 11:29 KJV

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

Meekness is not weakness — meekness is strength that is under control.

Our Savior was not harsh with bruised people.

He did not crush the struggling.

He was gentle with the fearful.

When Thomas doubted, Jesus met him.

When Peter failed, Jesus restored him.

When the disciples were troubled, Jesus said, “Let not your heart be troubled.”

Considerate people ask, “What is this person carrying right now?”

They ask, “How can I say this in a way that helps, not just in a way that is accurate?”

That matters in marriage.

That matters in parenting.

That matters in the church.

That matters when someone is grieving, ashamed, confused, or weak.

A husband may know his wife is stressed, but consideration moves him to speak gently.

A parent may need to correct a child, but consideration changes the tone.

A church member may need to confront a problem, but consideration refuses to do it with a cutting spirit.

Years ago, Abraham Lincoln once wrote a sharp letter to one of his generals in frustration.

He poured out his anger on paper.

But he never mailed it.

He knew that releasing his irritation in the moment would do more harm than good.

That is wisdom.

Sometimes the most considerate thing you can do is pause before you speak.

Joseph saw the fear in his brothers, and instead of increasing it, he eased it.

He did not stop with calming their hearts, however.

He went further and committed himself to caring for their needs.

B. He Committed Himself to Their Good

Joseph said, “I will nourish you, and your little ones.”

That is more than a kind sentiment.

He was not merely saying, “I forgive you.”

He was saying, “I will take care of you.”

That sounds a lot like New Testament Christianity.

1 John 3:18 KJV

18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

Consideration does not stop at saying nice things.

It asks, “What can I do to lighten the load?”

It notices the need and then moves toward it.

4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

That verse does not mean we ignore our responsibilities.

It means we do not live trapped inside ourselves.

We pay attention to the burdens, concerns, and needs of those around us.

Joseph thought about his brothers.

He thought about their families.

He thought about their children.

His concern was wider than himself.

This is where real Christlike character begins to shine.

Anyone can be thoughtful when life is easy.

Anyone can be kind when there is no cost.

But it takes grace to care for the very people who once caused your pain.

That is what Joseph did.

That is what Jesus does.

What is His example?

Romans 5:8 KJV

8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

The Lord Jesus did not wait for us to deserve His kindness.

He moved toward us in mercy while we were still guilty.

That is considerate grace on the highest level.

Sometimes the most spiritual question you can ask is not, “What do I feel like doing?”

It is, “What does this person need from me right now?”

Maybe they need encouragement.

Maybe they just need patience.

Maybe they need a meal.

Maybe they need a listening ear.

Maybe they need prayer.

Maybe they need someone to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe they need someone to stop talking and start helping.

Joseph’s kindness was not vague.

It was tangible.

And that is where many of us need to grow.

We say we care, but do we act like we care?

We say we love, but do we look for ways to serve?

We say we follow Christ, but do we notice people?

Joseph’s words and actions worked together.

He comforted them, and he committed himself to them.

That combination is powerful.

And it brings us to the deepest truth of all.

Joseph gives us a beautiful example, but Jesus gives us the perfect pattern.

III. Considerate People Learn from the Selfless Mind of Christ

Philippians 2:4 does not stand alone.

It is part of a larger passage that points us to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Verse 5 says, “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.”

In other words, consideration is not just a personality trait.

It is part of the mind of Christ being formed in us.

Joseph is a window.

Jesus is the full light.

A. Christ Looked on Our Need

Philippians 2 teaches us that Christ did not cling selfishly to His rights.

He humbled Himself.

He took upon Him the form of a servant.

He became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

Why? Because He looked on our need.

He saw sinners who could not save themselves.

He saw rebels who needed mercy.

He saw sheep who had gone astray.

And He moved toward us in love.

2 Corinthians 8:9 KJV

9 For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich.

That is consideration at its purest.

Jesus did not merely feel for us.

He came for us.

He did not merely notice our ruin.

He entered into it in order to rescue us.

When you study Christ, you see that He was constantly aware of others.

He noticed the widow of Nain.

He noticed blind Bartimaeus.

He noticed the hungry multitude.

He noticed the weary disciples.

He noticed the woman at the well.

He noticed children others tried to ignore.

He noticed the thief on the cross.

Jesus was never too consumed with Himself to see people, even on the cross.

And that is truly amazing, because no one ever carried heavier burdens than Christ.

He bore the contradiction of sinners against Himself.

He knew betrayal, suffering, and rejection were ahead.

Yet even then He still thought of others.

In Gethsemane, He protected His disciples.

On the cross, He prayed for His enemies.

In His dying moments, He cared for His mother.

This is our Savior.

This is our standard.

If I say I want the character of Christ, then I have to ask God to deliver me from a self-absorbed spirit.

Selfishness says, “Notice me.”

Consideration says, “How can I care for you?”

Selfishness says, “What about my feelings?”

Consideration says, “Let me think about yours too.”

Selfishness says, “I have my own problems.”

Consideration says, “Even with my problems, I still want to help.”

Christ looked on our need.

If that truth grips our hearts, it will begin changing how we look at each other every day.

And once Christ’s example captures us, His Spirit begins to produce that same kind of grace through us.

B. Christ Grows This Mind in Us

None of us naturally live Philippians 2:4.

Our flesh bends inward.

Sin curves the soul in on itself.

Left to ourselves, we think first of our own comfort, our own schedule, our own preferences, and our own opinions.

That is why this kind of consideration has to be cultivated by the Spirit of God.

Galatians 5:22 KJV

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

A considerate spirit is Spirit-produced fruit.

It grows as we walk with God.

It grows as we behold Christ.

It grows as we die to self.

It grows as we ask the Lord to help us notice people.

Sometimes the most Christlike prayer you can pray at the beginning of a day is, “Lord, help me not to live for myself today.”

Help me notice who is discouraged.

Help me notice who is left out.

Help me notice who needs a word of encouragement.

Help me notice how my words sound.

Help me notice how my actions affect others.

Help me notice when my opinions are becoming more important to me than people are.

That is a needed prayer in marriage.

Sometimes a spouse is not asking for a solution as much as they are longing to feel heard.

That is a needed prayer in parenting.

Children often reveal by their countenance what they cannot yet express clearly in words.

That is a needed prayer in church life.

A careless word, an impatient spirit, or a dismissive attitude can wound more deeply than we realize.

It has said that “People may forget what you said, but they will not forget how you made them feel.”

There is great practical truth in that.

Our tone lingers.

Our spirit lingers.

Our kindness lingers.

But our carelessness lingers too.

Joseph’s brothers never forgot that he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

People may forget the work that you accomplished, or the exact words you said, but they will remember whether you were gracious.

They will remember whether you were safe to talk to.

They will remember whether your presence brought peace or pressure.

That is why consideration matters so much.

It makes the doctrine we profess visible in the relationships we live.

Conclusion

Joseph shows us what considerate grace looks like in human life.

Jesus shows us what considerate grace looks like in perfect fullness.

Tonight the question is not simply, “Am I polite?”

The question is, “Am I Christlike in the way I treat people?”

Do I make room for other people’s feelings?

Do I think about how my words land?

Do I care about the burdens others carry?

Do I use my strength to help or to pressure?

Do I notice people, or do I mostly notice myself?

A considerate spirit can change a home.

It can change a church.

It can calm a fearful heart.

It can heal a wounded relationship.

It can make the love of Christ visible in ordinary moments.

Perhaps the Lord has put His finger tonight on a sharp tone that you have used

Or perhaps a selfish pattern you have noticed

Perhaps an impatient habit, or a careless spirit.

Bring that to Him tonight.

Ask Him to forgive you.

Ask Him to soften you.

Ask Him to make you more like Christ.

And ask Him to help you see people the way He sees people.

This world is full of harshness.

Let’s make the people of God to be known for holy thoughtfulness.

Let’s be a people who comfort others and speak kindly to them.

Let’s be considerate.