What Does Love Look Like?

What exactly does love look like?  According to the Carpenters’ hit from years ago, “birds suddenly appear every time you are near.  Just like me, they long to be close to you.”  When you think about it, that could become messy.  

Or maybe love looks like it’s a knight riding in on a horse, swooping in to rescue you and carry you off to be yours forever.  Actually, that’s a little creepy when you seriously consider it.

Or maybe it’s the thought of someone standing outside your window, either speaking sweet poetic words to you or singing love ballads.  Come to think of it, that’s a bit like stalking and could become downright annoying.

Maybe love isn’t something which is mushy and sentimental.  Is not love seen when a parent is willing to sacrifice sleep and finances to take care of the family?  Is not love seen when a spouse that would rather watch a chick flick becomes willing to watch a ball game or a detective show?  Is not love seen when a parent chooses to change a dirty diaper instead of ignoring it and hoping the first one who nearly passes out changes the diaper?  Or maybe love can be seen in what is not always said or performed.  

Think about how we show love for Christ. Is a person’s love for Christ seen by the jewelry that is worn?  Is a person’s love for Christ seen by the bumper stickers or the coffee mugs that we see?  Is a person’s love for Christ seen by the clothing we wear?  Not necessarily. 

Until a person has been transformed by the Holy Spirit and has chosen to allow Jesus Christ to be their Lord and Savior, it’s impossible to show love for Christ.  However, once that happens, it is nearly impossible to hide our love for Christ and for His children.  Actions of love are not motivated by performance requirements but by the heart’s desire.  Love is action motivated by the heart.  Interestingly, the word love is used only twelve times in John 1–12, but in John 13–21 it is used forty-four times!

So what should we hope to gather from today’s message?

Once we are saved by Jesus Christ, our lives should show what love looks like.

Many scholars have suggested that from John 13:31 through chapter 16, we are able to read Jesus’ last teachings to the eleven disciples who would later become apostles.  This section today will focus on what a true disciple, or follower of Christ, should look like; they should have unconditional, selfless love.

Love Is Seen In Splendor. - 13:31-33

Therefore when he had gone out, Jesus said, “Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in Him; if God is glorified in Him, God will also glorify Him in Himself, and will glorify Him immediately.  Little children, I am with you a little while longer. You will seek Me; and as I said to the Jews, now I also say to you, ‘Where I am going, you cannot come.’

The word that continually is seen in these three verses, is a form of the word glorify.  Basically, the meaning is to make something or someone gloriously great.  Let’s take a look in these verses to see what Jesus is saying about this particular word. 

Now is the Son of Man glorified, comes immediately on the heels of Judas leaving the premises to go about his dastardly deed.  By Judas betraying Jesus, the wheels were set into motion that could not be reversed.  The whole purpose of Jesus coming to this earth was that He would be crucified on the cross, dying in our place, that we might have life.  And even though, to the onlooking world, this looked like the ultimate defeat and the most humiliating event of Jesus’ life, this was ultimately when He would be glorified.  

So, how is love seen in splendor by Jesus being crucified on the cross? We recognize that the glory and splendor belongs to God alone because of the cross of Jesus Christ.  When Jesus was crucified on the cross, He was able to satisfy God’s holy demands for justice for our sins.  All that was needed, was for us to believe in Him.  Love is seen in splendor when Jesus was crucified on the cross. Listen to the following verses. According to Colossians 2:14, Jesus

canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.  

When Jesus was crucified on the cross, He also destroyed the power of sin.  We see this from Romans 6:6,

knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin.  

In addition, when Jesus was crucified on the cross, He destroyed the power of Satan over weak humanity.  We read this in Hebrews 2:14: 

through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil.  

But we cannot stop here.  For not only is Jesus glorified in His death on the cross; God the Father is glorified in it, as well.  God’s glory was seen when He raised Jesus from the dead, showing that He alone was victorious over Satan, sin, and death.  

In addition, God’s justice is seen, thus bringing glory to Himself.  Romans 6:23 reminds us: 

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

When Jesus was crucified on the cross, we also are reminded of God’s holiness.  For He cannot look upon sin, as we gather from Jesus' comments on the cross as seen in Matthew 27:46: 

About the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”  

Then from Genesis 3:15 and repeated in a different form in Matthew 1:21, we see that when Jesus was crucified on the cross, God shows His perfect faithfulness to His promises: 

She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.  

Then, as we think of when Jesus was crucified on the cross, we see that which encompasses all of what we are discussing.  We see that which truly glorifies God and describes God; His indescribable love, as we remember Romans 5:8: 

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  

Jesus speaks of God the Father glorifying Him immediately.  What an encouragement to know that Jesus was going to be resurrected from the dead.  What an encouragement to know that the cross was not the end.  And not only would Jesus be resurrected, He would ascend to the Father to be with Him forever.

However, verse 33 almost seems like a discouraging comment.  Even though they had heard all the teaching He had shared, they were not able to wrap their minds around the fact that He would have to actually die and leave them, no longer remaining on this earth.  Jesus knew that they would see Him again.  They, however, didn’t grasp all this.  What Jesus was about to do, painful as it would be for the disciples, was the most loving act Jesus would ever do.  Self-sacrificing love cannot be surpassed.  

It is because of this reality of His giving His life to be crucified for the sin of humanity; this act of love of taking away the sin of the world; this future act of leaving this earth after His resurrection to go to the Father to send the Holy Spirit; that Jesus goes into the next area of instructions for the disciples.

Love Is Seen In Selflessness. - 13:34-35

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.  By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

When we read this, we know that this was taught throughout the Old Testament.  However, this is now labeled a new commandment.  Wiersbe comments:  The word new does not mean “new in time,” because love has been important to God’s people even from Old Testament times (see Lev. 19:18). It means “new in experience, fresh.”  Now, the disciples have observed through Jesus Christ’s life on this earth what love ought to look like.  And having seen what Jesus’ love looked like, they are now being given this new commandment.  This is the highest standard of love.  There is no love greater than the love which Jesus has shown.  Now Jesus tells them this is the standard by which one measures what love looks like.  

What does it mean to love one another?  Quite simply, we are to love each other with the same kind of uncompromising, unqualifying, unselfish, unconditional love which Jesus showed to that bizarre group of disciples.  That means you are to love me even when I seem to be ignoring what is going on in your life.  That means I am to love you even when you seem to be a bit self-centered.  That means I love you even when it seems as though you’re holding me at arms-length. 

And the only way any of us can love one another the way Jesus did is if we have Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.  D.A. Carson explains it further:  The new command is simple enough for a toddler to memorize and appreciate, profound enough that the most mature believers are repeatedly embarrassed at how poorly they comprehend it and put it into practice.  If the church would practice what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we would have such an incredible impact on our community and the world around us. 

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

In his book The Mark of the Christian, Francis Schaeffer listed two practical ways Christians can show love for each other. They can do so first by being willing to apologize and seek forgiveness from those they have wronged. What causes the sharpest, most bitter disputes in the body of Christ are not doctrinal differences, but the unloving manner in which those differences are handled. Being willing to apologize to those whom we have offended is crucial to preserving the unity of the body of Christ.

A second practical way to demonstrate love is to grant forgiveness, whether or not we think someone deserves it.

Interestingly, this often results in a form of evangelism.  Jesus states that by this all men will know that you are my disciples.  My friends, I am very strong on being as biblically correct as possible.  Yet, I know that it doesn’t matter how correct our theology is; it will not reach people for Christ, if they do not see our love for one another and for them.  

Again, in Francis Schaeffer’s book, The Mark of the Christian, he writes:  The church is to be a loving church in a dying culture.… In the midst of the world, in the midst of our present dying culture, Jesus is giving a right to the world. Upon his authority he gives the world the right to judge whether you and I are born-again Christians on the basis of our observable love toward all Christians.

Interestingly, in Jesus’ sovereignty and divine authority, He has given the world the criteria which shows whether or not we are true believers in Jesus Christ; it’s based upon whether or not we have genuine love for one another.  

Interestingly, the world should know, as should we, what love looks like.

Love Is Seen In Sacrifice. - 13:36-38

Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, where are You going?” Jesus answered, “Where I go, you cannot follow Me now; but you will follow later.”  Peter said to Him, “Lord, why can I not follow You right now? I will lay down my life for You.”  Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for Me? Truly, truly, I say to you, a rooster will not crow until you deny Me three times.

Peter, the spokesman for the group, asks a very appropriate question.  You sense a bit of uneasiness and anxiety.  You also may find yourself wondering if any of them had been listening to all of that which Jesus had been sharing—His intent to lay down His life; His intent to die for the sins of the world; the fact that He would not remain dead; the reality that He would return to the Father.  Yet, I am fairly certain that you and I probably would have been the same way as Peter and the others.  We are just as earthbound in our thinking and logic as the disciples were.  To try and make sense out of all this, as to how a dead person could establish the Kingdom of God, was more than the most difficult puzzle they had ever experienced.  

Jesus answers Peter in a different manner than He had answered the religious leaders.  You recall that Jesus told the religious leaders that they could not come and would, in fact, die in their sins.  His answer to Peter is in stark contrast.  He states:  you cannot follow Me now; but you will follow later.  This should have been a great encouragement.  

Just like a child, Peter responds that he’s ready to go with Jesus right now, wherever that may be.  Even here, we see Christ’s love for Peter.  He stated that they would follow later.  Yet, we see in verse 38 that Jesus was quite aware of Peter’s upcoming denial of Him.  Even though Peter’s denial of Christ would be painful to all involved, it would not prevent Christ’s love from extending to Peter and allowing him entrance to Christ’s presence in glory when it was time.

I also find it somewhat amusing that Peter was thinking pretty highly of his abilities.  He even offered to lay his life down for Jesus.  The irony is that this was what Jesus was going to do for Peter and all who would believe on the Name of Jesus.  The theologian, Carson, writes: Sadly, good intentions in a secure room after good food are far less attractive in a darkened garden with a hostile mob. At this point in his pilgrimage, Peter’s intentions and self-assessment vastly outstrip his strength.  

Obviously, Peter did eventually get what Jesus was saying and what He did; though it was much later on.  Interestingly, we won’t hear from Peter again until John 18.  Yet, as we read about Peter down the road, we see that he did indeed understand what love ought to look like. 

Reflections

Christ showed perfect love the entire time He walked this earth.  

Christ showed the ultimate in perfect love in His willingness and desire to be crucified and shed His blood so that sinners could experience forgiveness and live eternally with Him.

Christ still shows perfect love as He enables the believer, through the Holy Spirit, to show love to other believers, as well as to a dying world of unsaved people.  

What does love look like? It is seen by the glorious splendor of Jesus Christ as displayed by going to the cross.

Love is seen in the selflessness that Jesus showed and left us as an example to love one another unconditionally. 

It is seen in the sacrifice which Jesus gave so that we might live eternally.

For you and I who have been saved by Jesus Christ, our lives should show what love looks like.