Wisdom in Relationships (Love)

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In Sanctuary next two Sundays:

Easter + Sunrise

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Wednesday Night Break (2 Weeks)

Back April 15th for S'mores & Worship

Today

Pray for Michael Smith

Lunch across the street

Max & Jacob

VoR Meeting

Introduction:

We are in our final week of OT Biblical Wisdom literature

We’ve gone through Proverbs, Job, and Ecclesiastes and today we are finishing up with Song of Songs (Or Song of Solomon)

And where Proverbs is about general wisdom in life

Job teaches us to suffer well and how to walk alongside those suffering

And Ecclesiastes is reflecting on the nature of life, humanity, and mortality

Song of Songs is about love

Specifically the romantic love between a man and a woman

How many of you have (tried to) read this book?

It is extremely interesting…

Honestly, it can be easy to ask: why is this in the Bible?

On the surface—it is love poetry

It is a love story between a king and a woman who works the vineyards

It traces them falling in love

Daydreaming about each other

Eventually getting married

And detailing the wedding night and life after

It is interesting because this book has no explicit mention of God

So the question is: What do we learn from this?

What wisdom is there in this romantic poem?

Well before we tackle those questions: Lets read some of it for ourselves

Scripture Reading:

Song of Solomon 1:1–4 CSB

1 The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s. 2 Oh, that he would kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your caresses are more delightful than wine. 3 The fragrance of your perfume is intoxicating; your name is perfume poured out. No wonder young women adore you. 4 Take me with you—let’s hurry. Oh, that the king would bring me to his chambers. We will rejoice and be glad in you; we will celebrate your caresses more than wine. It is only right that they adore you.

Song of Solomon 8:6–7 CSB

6 Set me as a seal on your heart, as a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death; jealousy is as unrelenting as Sheol. Love’s flames are fiery flames— an almighty flame! 7 A huge torrent cannot extinguish love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If a man were to give all his wealth for love, it would be utterly scorned.

So this book is about Love

And not just ‘love’ in general

Or maybe the love we think about when we think of the Bible

John 3:16 — Agape — Sacrificial Love

But passionate, romantic, erotic love between two people

I think as Christians we have often downplayed this aspect of love

Marriage can be seen as a social contract between two people to raise children rather than a covenant that is bonded by love and genuine affection for each other

Have you ever heard: “Love is not a feeling—it’s an action”?

Well thats true—but love is also a feeling

There is an aspect of love that very personal and intimate

I’m sure by high school now… most of you have had a crush

Many of you have ‘fallen in love’

Or you are at least aware of the desire you have

Deep down there is a desire or longing for companionship and intimacy

We want to love—And we want to be loved

And I believe this book is in the Bible, to remind us that God cares about these things

He created love, our bodies, and marriage

God cares about these things far more than we think

They aren’t just these sterile necessities so that we can procreate and make more humans

But that romantic love—is a gift from God

So when we’re talking about love today this is what is in mind — 2 people with strong emotions and feelings towards each other

And I hope today we can see the wisdom in this text

Outline:

Love is Good

Love has been Distorted

Love requires Wisdom

Love is Good

Romantic love is a gift from God

And with that comes a physical aspect as well as an emotional and spiritual aspect

There is a physical attraction that comes with love

And this physical attraction is not bad, sinful, or evil

It is a part of how God created humanity

Even before the fall—in the Garden

God’s original intention—was a marriage union between Adam and Eve

Not only a spiritual union—but physical as well

We can sometimes get the idea in our head that the physical is bad—and the spiritual is good

But that isn’t found in the Bible

Both can be either good or bad

But this Song is reminding us that our physical bodies matter—God created them—and they are a gift

And that in romantic love—there is a physical aspect to it that is very important

There is a reason we have attraction to other people

Song of Songs is filled with physical longing, desire, and descriptions

And honestly, much of this book’s descriptions can be laughable to us today — because the original meanings are lost on us today

Song of Solomon 4:1–5 CSB

1 How beautiful you are, my darling. How very beautiful! Behind your veil, your eyes are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats streaming down Mount Gilead. 2 Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn sheep coming up from washing, each one bearing twins, and none has lost its young. 3 Your lips are like a scarlet cord, and your mouth is lovely. Behind your veil, your brow is like a slice of pomegranate. 4 Your neck is like the tower of David, constructed in layers. A thousand shields are hung on it— all of them shields of warriors. 5 Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, that feed among the lilies.

It can be easy to get lost in some of the dated metaphors

And to laugh at some of these words

But we have words that are coming from a deep place of passion to encapsulate this woman’s physical beauty

These two lovers are completely infatuated with each other physically

But is not just physical… it is also spiritual

We see throughout these book that there are intense desires and longings that are spiritual and physical

Seeking and Finding (Back and Forth)

Seeking physical touch

But also seeking to connect with the other in a deeper way

In this book we are shown the deep human desire to know and be fully known and desired by another

We each have this desire within us

We want to deeply know others

And perhaps greater—We want to be fully known

Inside and out — Good and Bad

We want someone to know exactly who we are and for them to accept and love us

Love is one of the most transcendent and mysterious experiences in the human life — It is a gift from God

So love is a gift, love is good

But it is not always good…

Im just curious, how many of you have suffered heartbreak before?

What might seem good can also have the potential to completely destroy us

Love has been Distorted

We can talk about how the ideal form of love—and how its original design and intention is good

But we live in a broken world—filled with twisted and distorted love

So if romance is a gift, why has it caused so much destruction?

Just myself, I have been marred and hurt by broken love

My parents divorce

I’ve been:

Broken up with and I’ve broken things off

Cheated on

Friend-zoned (both ways)

Rejected (many times)

I’ve had my best friend start dating the girl I liked

It is painful

Some of my deepest hurts in life have been cause by romantic love gone awry

But not only relationships—the enemy knows about this intense human desire—and he has sought to use it against us since the very beginning

There has been a perversion of love that turns away from loving the other person to an enjoyment or pleasure of yourself

We call this lust

It is self-serving, it sees others as objects to exploit that exist only for you enjoyment

And what this has looked like has definitely changed over the centuries, but it is still as alive today as it was in Solomon’s days

From temple prostitutes thousands of years ago to the multi billion dollar pornography industry today

Satan is tapping into this longing and desire we all have and offering a counterfeit that will destroy us if we fall for it

If we don’t learn how to direct this desire in the right way—Satan is ready to stumble us down the wrong path

So is romantic sexual love good or bad?

What would you say?

Love is like Fire

Is fire good or bad?

It depends

When, where, context

Controlled and in the right context—It is good!

Cooking food//Keeping us warm//making light

Similarly love is a gift from God to be able to deeply connect with another person both physically and spiritually

In the right context

The context of marriage between a man and a woman

Where it is safe and under a commitment

Where it isn’t shared around with other people

Keller:

“Indeed, sex is perhaps the most powerful God-created way to help you give your entire self to another human being.  Sex is God’s appointed way for two people to reciprocally say to one another, “I belong completely, permanently, and exclusively to you.”  You must not use sex to say anything less.”

But left uncontrolled and out of its intended context—it is one of the most destructive things

Its ruined lives—affairs and divorce

(as I was prepping)

It can become a drug — people just searching for the next thing that will fulfill them

Crumbled churches and started wars

Like a wild fire running ablaze

It can quickly become uncontrollable and destroy everything around us

Intimate love has amazing potential for both good and evil

Love Requires Wisdom

So the question is how do we use this fire as it is intended?

I mean of course there is the simple answer:

Sexual intimacy is designed for and safe only in a committed (marriage) between a man and a woman

Just like a fire is meant to be in a fireplace—or on a stove top—but not just anywhere

Sex and physical intimacy have one very particular place and purpose

But I think Song of Songs has a particular word for all of you today

I think for each of you, very practically—there is a very important message in this book

None of you are married, right?

In this book we find a refrain 3 times throughout the song in Song of Songs 2:7, 3:5, 8:4

Song of Solomon 8:4 CSB

4 Young women of Jerusalem, I charge you, do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time.

Wisdom is telling us this: ‘Do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time’

It’s a truth we don’t like to hear in our world today: but there is an appropriate time for love

We live in an instant gratification culture—and we don’t like to wait

But will we trust God’s timing?

Not only is our culture filled with instant gratification in general—but we live in a highly sexualized culture

Where everything is telling us that the appropriate time for love—is when you decide it is

Its on Youtube, Social Media, Movies, TV, conversations at school

We have so many voices telling us that the appropriate time for love is now! Look everyone else is engaging in it!

and we believe it!

But this relationship is different

But our intentions are so stay together (I felt this pressure in college)

And some Christians in the past might have said: we’ll everything out there is bad and pushing this agenda—we gotta hunker down and shelter ourselves from that

But that’s not what Jesus did—He lived in a broken world—but was not conformed to the broken world

And his Spirit is in us today

We can live in a sexually broken world without caving in

(vision)

It’s like you’re carrying a lighter through a dry forest and you need to make it through the forest to light the fireplace in a cabin

But along the way you are tempted to just spark the lighter—just play with it a little bit

And sooner or later—everything will be destroyed

We have to quiet the voices telling us to play around, that we are missing out, and we have to keep it’s intended purpose in mind

So the wisdom in this—isn’t how to avoid these things—but how do we engage in this world without becoming like the world?

We have to listen to and heed the warning in this book:

‘Do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time’

Don’t stir it up—Don’t play with fire

Until you know you are ready to be committed to someone in marriage

There is a time and place for it—but it’s just not now

It reminds me of Adam and Eve in Genesis 3

Knowledge of Good and Evil

What they would have had in time, they took on their own time, and they made a mess of this whole world

Will we simply stand against the temptation to take things on our own time?

It’s about honoring God and his plans

Will we let love be stirred up when it is the right time— or are we going to try to force it to our time table

I know this message is a lot and I don’t know how all of you will take it

Jesus’s way is better

It may not be easier—but it is better

This is my story

And as we approach communion—we are reminded that there is so much grace for us

We may have been playing with fire and burned ourselves or those around us

There is grace—forgiveness of our sins

We are all broken in one way or another—it’s the world we live in and were raised in

And Jesus brings healing, cleansing, and restoration

While this poem is talking about love between two people—Love is from God—God is Love (1 John 4:8)

Song of Solomon 8:6 CSB

6 Set me as a seal on your heart, as a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death; jealousy is as unrelenting as Sheol. Love’s flames are fiery flames— an almighty flame!

God’s love is stronger than death

And he loves us more than we can imagine Truly nothing can separate us from his love

So in this time I know in this room many of us are at very different places:

If you’re here and are aware of your sexual brokenness… take this communion and remember the forgiveness and grace of Jesus

He can cleanse us from all sin (By us, to us, in our presence)

2. And even if this isn’t a struggle or problem for you, we all need a reminder of the love of God and a reminder to not stir up or awaken love until its appropriate time

Like I said earlier—We all have a deep desire to know and be known

God is the only one in which we can find that

We can try anything else—but we’ll never be satisfied

Let’s take this time to reconnect to Him

To simply remember his love for us—that is stronger than death

He showed his love for us by giving his life for us

Even the best love in this world is just a reflection of the love that comes from God

Do you believe that God actually loves you?

Not just puts up with you

He rejoices in you

You light up his heart and make him smile

We all need this reminder

Small Groups

Icebreaker: What is your favorite fictional couple?

What are some things the world says about love and relationships?

How have you been hurt by love?

What keeps you from believing in God’s love for you?