A Friend like Jesus
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Relatable: A Friend like Jesus or Friend
Core Verse:
12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.
Command: Order - Our military men and women understand this better than us civilians.
Now, let’s be honest. You can’t command an emotion. You can’t tell someone, love that person who just cut you off in traffic. No, this isn't about a feeling; It’s a choice.
Biblical love involves more than mere emotions and personal preferences. Love is the decision to compassionately, righteously, responsibly, and sacrificially seek the well-being of another.
You can love people whom you may not necessarily like because love is not dependent on your feelings.
12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.
In our modern, expressive individualist culture, we hate that, right? We say, You can't tell me who to love!
Jesus doesn't say, Love people the way you feel like loving them.
He says, look at my example. Look at the way I’ve put up with your hang-ups, your doubts, and your failures. Now, go do that for someone else.
How has Jesus loved you?
13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
Greater love - love in action.
It’s true that love may include feelings of affection, and such feelings may develop over time. But it’s not driven by them.
Love is driven by sacrifice for the welfare of others.
And the greatest expression of love is to lay down one’s life for … friends (15:13). That’s the kind of love Jesus modeled for us.
Tim Keller: You don't truly know someone loves you until they sacrifice for you. Sacrifice is the only way to prove that the person is more important than your own self-interest.
Young soldier / First World War: His best friend had been hit during a enemy charge and was lying out in "no-man’s land" between the trenches.
The gunfire was a relentless blanket of bullets. This young man asked his lieutenant for permission to go out and get his friend. The officer said, You can go, but it’s not worth it. Your friend is probably dead, and you’ll likely throw your own life away.
But the soldier went anyway. He crawled through the mud and the blood, hoisted his friend onto his shoulders, and managed to stumble back into the safety of the trench.
The friend was indeed dead by then, and the soldier himself was mortally wounded. The lieutenant, with tears in his eyes, said, I told you it wouldn't be worth it. The soldier smiled and whispered, But it was, sir.
Because when I got to him, he looked at me and said, Jim, I knew you’d come.
Historical Context: In the Greco-Roman world, friendship was often about status. It was a “you scratch my back, I scratch yours” deal.
Aristotle talked about “friends of utility.” That is people who are on friendly terms primarily because they derive some mutual benefit or practical advantage from one another. These relationships are not based on an appreciation for the other person’s character, but rather on what each person can provide to the other.
But Jesus says the “Greatest Love” isn't about what you get from the friend, but what you give up for them.
N.T. Wright: Points out that in the Roman world, "laying down your life" was something you did for a Caesar or a general. Jesus flips this, saying the King lays down His life for the commoners. It is a political and spiritual revolution.
14 You are my friends if you do what I command.
To clarify this is not like legalism. Don't misread this. Jesus isn't saying, I’ll only be your friend if you perform like a perfectly trained Sea World seal. No!
He’s saying that friendship with Him creates a desire to follow Him. It’s the difference between I have to vs. I want to.
If my wife Tammy asks me to go get gas in her car and have it washed, I don't do it because I’m afraid she’ll fire me as her husband. I do it because I love her! I want to serve and please her.
Kids: What would happen if your parents asked you to turn off the game you are playing and you said okay and turned it off?
15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
This is the most mind-blown moment in the New Testament. The Greek word here for servant is doulos—slave. In the ancient world, a slave does what he’s told, but he doesn't know the Why. He’s not in the loop. He’s just a tool.
15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
To be a friend of God in the Old Testament was reserved for the giants—Abraham, Moses. Now, Jesus says to a bunch of blue-collar fishermen and tax collectors (and to you and me). I am call you friends.
15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
So, our friendship with Christ involves love and obedience. But it also involves knowledge: He “lets us in on” His plans.
You’re in the room where it happens. You’re my inner circle.
I want to bring this home to where you’re sitting right now. Because the bottom line is this: You were created for a relationship with God. Not a religion. A relationship.
"Four Levels of Friendship" (Slide)
Acquaintances
Casual Friends
Close Friends
Intimate Friends
You see, there are really four levels of friendship in this world, aren’t there?
First, there are the Acquaintances. You know their face, you know their name, but that’s about it. You pass them in the hall at school or work and say 'Hi,' but you don't know what keeps them up at night.
Then there are Casual Friends. You have a few things in common. Maybe you like the same sports team or you work in the same office or have the same classes. You talk once in a while, but it’s all pretty surface level.
Then you have Close Friends. These are the people you share your dreams and goals with. You trust them. You’ve been through some stuff together.
But then... there is that Fourth Level. That’s the Intimate Friend. That’s the person who knows the “real you.” They know your secrets, they know your failures, and they love you anyways. They’re the ones you call at 2:00 AM when your world is falling apart.
Jesus is saying in John 15, “I want to be that Fourth Level friend for you.”
But here is the scary part. You can think you’re at level four with Jesus when you’re actually not even on the chart. In Matthew chapter 7, Jesus says something that should make every one of us stop and think. He says...
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
They had the right vocabulary.
22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’
They had the right “religious” activity.
But Jesus says
23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
In the original language, that word for 'knew' implies a deep, personal intimacy. It’s Fourth Level Relationship talk.
Most of us are living at level one or two with God. We’re Acquaintances—we know the stories, we know the jargon we go to church from time to time. Or we’re Casual Friends or Close Friend—we call on Him when we’re in a jam, but then we go back to our own lives.
But Jesus is standing here today, and He’s inviting you to that Fourth Level. He wants to be your Intimate Friend. He’s the one who knows the worst thing you’ve ever done and yet, because of the Cross, He still says, “I want a close intimate relationship with you.”
But remember what we read in Matthew 7? Jesus warned that a lot of people are going to stand before Him one day and say, 'Lord, look at all the religious things I did!' and He’s going to say the saddest words in the Bible: “I never knew you.”
Don't let that be your story. Don't settle for being an acquaintance when you could be a Intimate Friend of the King.
How do you start that friendship? At CoTH, we make it real simple with the ABC’s. This is how you move from being a stranger to being a friend of God:
A – Admit that you are a sinner who needs a Savior. You’ve gone your own way, and it hasn't worked. You need Him.
B – Believe that Jesus is the only Savior available. He didn't just live a good life; He died for your sins and rose from the dead. He is the only way to the Father.
C – Choose to follow Jesus. It’s a decision of the will. Saying, Lord, I’m stepping out of the driver's seat and I’m following You.
If you want to enter into that life-changing, fourth-level friendship with Jesus right now, I want you to pray this prayer with me. You can pray it out loud or in the quietness of your heart. Let’s pray:
Prayer:
"Lord Jesus, thank You for loving me so much that You died on the cross to pay in full for all of my sins. I am tired of being an acquaintance; I want to truly know You.
I Admit today that I am a sinner who needs a Savior. I’m sorry for going my own way for so long.
I Believe that You are the only Savior. I believe that Heaven is a gift that You alone can give me—a gift I cannot earn and don't deserve, but one You offer because You are my Friend.
I Choose right now to follow You. I’m turning from my past and I’m turning to You. Help me to become the person You created me to be as I follow You and, by Your grace, become a world-changer for Your Kingdom.
I thank You for being the Friend who sticks closer than a brother. I thank You for hearing this prayer and accepting me.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
