Redeemer Equips: A Vision for Care and Community

Opening Pastoral Word & Prayer

Opening question: What makes it hard to admit weakness in the church? Why do you feel the need to suffer alone?

Before we begin tonight, I want to say something plainly and upfront: This class exists because life is hard, even—especially—for Christians. Some of you have come tonight tired. Some discouraged. Some overwhelmed by quiet worries that no one else sees. Fearful. Anxious. Depressed. Others may simply feel worn down by the normal pressures of work, family, health, relationships, or ongoing struggles with sin that don’t seem to go away as quickly as you hoped they would. If that describes you in any way, let me relieve you of a burden right now: your presence here tonight is not evidence of failure—it is evidence that you are human in a fallen world, and a believer who still needs grace. When we struggle against sin, it is evidence that the Spirit of God is working in our hearts, not evidence that God has abandoned us. The fact that you can acknowledge the sin in your life and you have a desire to put it away for good, while pursuing God, is the very assurance that most of you are craving in your life. Your just thinking about it all wrong. My hope, is that, over the next three weeks, we find some balance in the way we think about suffering, deal with suffering, and help walk alongside others in their suffering. Before we get started, let’s pray for wisdom and grace:

Pray

Introduction: Why This Class Matters

This class is about care and community—not professional counseling, and not solving everyone’s problems—but the ordinary, faithful, day to day care that God intends to happen among His people. One of the quiet dangers in modern Christianity is the idea that we are supposed to be:

Spiritually strong all the time - Because we are Christians, we have this false expectation, especially older Christians, that we are supposed to have it all figured out. We should be the strong ones, mentoring the younger ones, and while that is true, it is not true that we have to things all figured out. It’s ok to be the one asking for help. Maturity in the spiritual life, is not a life of no difficulties and sin, but a life of humility knowing that we will sin, and when we do, we are mature, and humble enough, to seek help.

Emotionally sorted out on our own - Another major misunderstanding is that Christians must have their emotions all figured out and under control so to respond perfectly in every situation. If I am truly a Christian I shouldn’t get angry, or anxious, or sad about anything right? This often looks like figuring things out on your own and being able to keep your emotions in check. But the truth is that this will most likely never be the case and we will always need help and advice, especially when it comes to our emotions.

Biblically informed but personally isolated - This is a big one for me. We tend to think that we must biblically informed about all things to the point that we begin to isolate ourselves from others and from the world. Almost as if we are becoming like the monks who did this very thing themselves. For some of us, we prefer much smaller groups of people around us, and for some larger groups are more preferred. Either ay, we must approach this with wisdom and a humble attitude. Just because I am more introverted, doesn’t mean that I get to isolate myself and never interreact with anyone. On the other hand, if someone is extroverted, it doesn’t mean that you have to constantly surrounding yourself with people and sharing every part of your life with everyone. There are boundaries, which we will get into.

So, at the end of the day, we often assume that maturity means needing less help, when in fact biblical maturity often looks like knowing when—and how—to ask for help, and how to walk patiently with others when they do the same. The Christian life was never meant to be lived alone.

A Foundational Assumption: God Built Us for Community

Let me say something at the outset that shapes everything else we’ll talk about: God did not design His people to handle the struggles of life in isolation. That’s not a modern therapeutic idea. That is a biblical and confessional conviction. From the very beginning, Scripture tells us that it was not good for man to be alone. That’s not merely about marriage—it’s about the basic shape of human life. Even more so after the fall, God never intended that we would battle sin, suffering, fear, or confusion on our own. And when Christ saves us, He does not merely reconcile us to Himself—He brings us into a body, a family, a household. Here is something vital to remember: The Christian life is not just me and Jesus; It is Christ and His people, walking together toward glory.

Setting the Biblical Frame: Romans 15:1–7

I want to anchor our time primarily in Romans 15:1–7 Paul says, “We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.” For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.”

There are three truths here that I want us to linger on tonight.

Truth #1: Weakness Is Assumed, Not Exceptional

Notice how Paul speaks: “We who are strong… the failings of the weak.” Paul does not say, “If someone happens to be weak.” He assumes it. The Bible assumes that weakness will exist inside the church. But, it is also important to remember that weakness does not disqualify someone from Christian community—it necessitates it. If some are stronger than others, but we are all weak at different times, than we need each other.

That includes: Circle one of these that fits you the most, you don’t have to explain it to anyone, just acknowledge it before the Lord.

Emotional weakness - Some of us are a lot more capable of self-control when it comes to our emotions then others are. And that is OK. Not only do we have the Spirit living inside of us, who also gives us all the self-control we could ever need, but sometimes we need others to help us live that out amidst our daily struggles.

Spiritual confusion - We naturally have Christians who are more mature and refined than others. When i first became a Christian, I did not understand the basic terminology or depths of the Trinity. It took time and lots of study to get to a point that I could understand a lot of things. This is why discipleship is so important. We need to learn in community with other believers so that we can mature and be refined by the Spirit.

Temptation to sin - There will be some who fall into temptation more than others. This doesn’t mean that you will be banished from the church. It means, we need to be able to walk alongside those in our church that are prone to fall and help them stay upright with their God.

Weariness - Burnout and exhaustion is a real thing. Sometimes, we just get weary of sin, suffering, temptation, and even get weary from helping others. You can’t do everything and we weren’t created to do everything. We were created for dependence on God and community with the church as a means of grace and help in these times.

Anxiety - Not only do we have weary hearts, but we have anxious hearts as well. There are a lot of things going on in world. It seems like everyday we turn on the news and some new chaos is breaking out all across the world. Learning how to gospel each other and remind ne another of the goodness of God is so important.

Seasons of doubt - We have seasons of doubt that might arise in us. In these seasons of doubt we have to be careful to not isolate and seek to join our community in healthy ways. Even the most mature Christians will struggle with seasons of doubt in their life. Your not alone.

One of the most spiritually harmful lies we believe is this: “Everyone else seems to be doing fine. Something must be wrong with me.” No. Something is wrong with the way we think about the Christian life if we expect strength without weakness. Biblical Christianity gives us something far better than shallow strength—it gives us honest dependence.

Question: Why do you think we’re quicker to see other people’s weakness than our own?

Truth #2: Care Is About Bearing, Not Fixing

Paul tells the strong to bear with the failings of the weak. That word bear is crucial. It does not mean: Diagnosing immediately, correcting hastily or, offering solutions on demand. It means coming alongside and carrying weight together. It is taking some of the weight of someone’s shoulders and saying, “Here, let me help you with that.” Most of us are very uncomfortable with unresolved weakness—especially in others. When someone shares a struggle, we often feel pressure to: Say the right thing, quote the right verse or, bring relief as quickly as possible. But Scripture gives us a different vision. Care is not primarily about fixing people—it is about walking faithfully with them as God works over time. This changes the posture entirely. Instead of asking, “How do I make this go away for you?” We begin asking, “How do I love you well while you are in this suffering?”

Activity: Think of some examples that show the difference between fixing and bearing.

Truth #3: Christ Is the Pattern and Power of Our Care

Paul grounds all of this in Christ Himself: “For Christ did not please himself…” Jesus did not merely sympathize with weakness from a distance—He entered into it. He bore:

Our sin - On the cross Jesus fully takes on our sin and bears the wrath of God for that sin in our place.

Our sorrow - Not only does Jesus bear the wrath of God that we deserve, but Jesus takes our sorrow over sin away. As we come to Him in faith, laying our sin down at His feet, he offers forgiveness and restoration.

Our shame - Part of that restoration is taking our shame over sin as well. We no longer have to be defined by our sin and hiding from it. We can come to Jesus freely and receive forgiveness and restoration.

Our burden - Lastly, Jesus removes the burden of sin off of our shoulders. This doesn't mean we don’t take sin seriously, we should, but we don’t have to carry the weight of it on our shoulders any longer. We can bring our sins, sorrow, shame, guilt, suffering, all of it straight to Jesus.

If Christ dealt with us only on the basis of efficiency or quick correction, none of us would stand. Christian care that forgets Christ becomes either: Harsh and impatient or soft but aimless. But Christ gives us both mercy and purpose.

Counseling the Room: Naming Common Fears

Let me pause here and speak directly to a few thoughts I know are already in the room. Some of you are thinking: “I don’t feel equipped for this. What if I say the wrong thing?” Others are thinking: “I already feel overwhelmed. I don’t have more to give.” And some of you are thinking: “I’m the one who feels weak—I’m not sure I even want to be seen.” Let me say something gently but clearly: God is not calling you to be a savior. He already has one. He is calling you to be: Faithful, not flawless, Present, not profound and, Patient, not powerful. Listen, Christian care is not heroic. It is ordinary obedience fueled by grace. You are not going to save anyone. Caring for one another is rarely a formal counseling scene and almost always friends getting a cup of coffee together, reading a book together, and just spending time together. Let’s look at one more short passage together.

Galatians 6: Bearing Burdens Together

Paul says it another way in Galatians 6:1–2 “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” That phrase—the law of Christ—is love shaped by the gospel. But notice also: burdens are meant to be shared. Some burdens are just too heavy to carry alone:

Prolonged grief - after great loss.

Chronic pain/illness - diagnoses, lifetime pain and illnesses, these cause a lot of frustration and suffering.

Lingering guilt or shame - which leads us into wanting to hide and cover ourselves, often resulting in more sin.

Ongoing family tension - instead of fixing problems we ignore them and hope they get better, but they often just grow enormously big and we cant handle them anymore.

And God’s answer in these things, and others, is not isolation—but shared endurance. It is walking alongside one another in the best way we can and constantly pointing each other to Jesus. So, if a burden is something too heavy to carry alone, and a load is a normal everyday responsibility, we need to be able to distinguish them. So let’s try this. Is a cancer diagnoses a burden or a load? What about parenting fatigue, burden or a load? How about everyday work stress? Last one, how about chronic anxiety? Paul says to “bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.” There are some things we help others carry and there are some things we help them fix.

Question: Why does it matter that we make this distinction between burden and load (something to carry or something to help fix)? What happens when burdens are treated like personal failures?

Distinguishing Healthy Care from Unhelpful Care

Let’s briefly clarify what this kind of care is not. Christian care is not:

Playing the Holy Spirit - you cannot make people change and you cannot save anyone. This is why we are to remain dependent on the Holy Spirit for change in people.

Digging aggressively into someone’s past - You are not offering therapy sessions, where the other person lays on a couch and you probe into the depths of their past.

Offering clichés instead of compassion - This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I hate the Christian cliches, because people they often aren't true or helpful in any way. People don’t need a hot take, they need Jesus, who is working through you.

Treating people like projects - The ones who come to you for help aren’t a project that you just work on when you get bored or have the time.

Instead, caring for one another looks like:

Listening without rushing - It is listening well and listening to understand. Remember, it is hard to listen, if you are constantly talking.

Asking careful, loving questions - I call them interrogative questions, or clarifying questions. “What do you mean when you say ____?” “How did that make you feel?” “What did you do about it?” Ask open ended questions instead of “yes” or “no” questions.

Speaking truth patiently - Speak, only after you have asked good questions ad have come to an understanding of the situation. Never assume you understand and begin speaking too soon, otherwise, you often end up looking foolish.

Praying consistently - Pray before your conversations, pray during your conversation, and pray after your conversations. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Ask God for wisdom in your conversations with others.

Staying present over time - Remain present in the persons life. It is likely the problem isn’t fully resolved and may creep back in, they will need you to keep pushing them towards Jesus. Build relationships. Keep your boundaries, but build relationships.

This is slow work—and that is by design. Change rarely happens overnight without the mercy and grace of God intervening in a radical way.

Activity: Are the following statements helpful or unhelpful - Say someone comes to you and says they have this crazy anxiety that won’t leave and they don’t know what to about it. Is this helpful or unhelpful:

“Have you prayed about it?” (Not unhelpful, but not exactly the most helpful)

“God won’t give you more than you can handle.” (unhelpful)

“Can you tell me more about what that’s been like?” (helpful question for understanding)

“Here’s what I would do if I were you…” (unhelpful)

“I don’t know what to say, but I’m here with you.” (helpful, honest, compassionate)

A Word on Confessional Wisdom (Woven, Not Formal)

Our Reformed faith has always recognized:

• The ongoing reality of remaining sin - We are all battling sin. To some degree or another we are all struggling with sin in our lives and need help.

• The progressive, imperfect nature of sanctification - Sanctification is rarely a straight and consistent up hill climb to glory. It is full of ups and downs, caves, and rivers, and beasts trying to kill us along the way. We need help getting to glory and God has given us a community to help us.

• The means God uses—Word, community, prayer - Which means, the church is important and needed. Discipleship, private devotion, classes, counseling, and the gathering of the saints to pray, hear the Word proclaimed, and sing in community; every bit of it is needed.

The confessions remind us that grace does not bypass human weakness—it meets us in it. And that shapes the way we care for one another.

Closing Charge: Welcoming One Another as Christ Has Welcomed Us

Paul ends Romans 15 with this command: “Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you.” How did Christ welcome you? Not after you got everything together. Not once you proved strength. But while you were weak and helpless, God saved you and gave you life and purpose. Christ never saved someone because they were strong enough to do things on their own. If they had been strong enough, they would have had no need for him. That is the shape of Christian community. Over these three weeks, we’re not trying to turn you into counselors—we are seeking to shape a culture of care, where grace is normal, truth is spoken lovingly, and no one walks alone.

Exercise: This week take one faithful step:

One person I could check in on

One person I need to be more honest with

One habit of “fixing” I need to put to death

You are not called to do everything. You are called to take small faithful steps of love.

Optional Take‑Home Reflection Questions:

Where am I tempted to isolate instead of invite help?

Who has borne burdens with me—and what can I learn from them?

How does Christ’s patience with me shape my patience with others?

What rhythms help me stay present over time?

Q&A Time