RJ - Port City Men’s Breakfast

Thank you to Ps James and Ps Michelle for the opportunity.

Question I was asked:

What do I recognise in Nathan or who he is, that has helped me become the woman God has called me to be? what have I appreciated about him, that has helped facilitate what God continues to do in and through me?

Deep question to ask!

Is it because he is kind, funny, safe, patient, a lover of people, unselfish, giving, etc

Those are all the overflow of a man of great character

The one thing it has flowed from is Nathan’s willingness and receptiveness to allowing God into his inner world.

Nathan has consistently chosen to allow God into the deepest parts of his heart. He has never shied away from being honest before God and allowing God to examine the areas of his heart that need refining.

Even through the hard times, rejection & hardship

This has created stability

Nathan’s identity & purpose in God

There is no reason for competition or control

Integrity - (Definition) the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles, the state of being whole and undivided.

Search Me: The Courage of a Man of Integrity

Psalm 139 David wrote this deeply personal psalm intending to show that God is not distant, but deeply involved in the intimate details of our lives

Text: Psalm 139:23–24

Psalm 139:23–24 NLT

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Introduction: The Hidden Man

Every man has two versions of himself:

The man people see

The man only God sees

Integrity is when those two men become the same.

In Psalm 139, David ends with a dangerous prayer—not for blessing, success, or protection—but for God to search him.

“Search me, God… know my heart… test me… know my anxious thoughts.”

This is the prayer of a man who wants to be real, not just maintaining image on a surface level.

1. A Man of Integrity Invites God to Search Him

“Search me, God, and know my heart…” (v.23)

David moves from theology to vulnerability. He has just declared that God knows everything—and now he welcomes it.

Key Insights:

Integrity begins when we stop hiding.

We are experts at:

Managing appearances

Justifying motives

Hiding behind success, humour, or busyness

But David says: “God, don’t just see me… examine me.”

And this matters immensely… and it matters for men

Because Men often build identity on:

Strength

Control

Competence

But integrity is not built on control—it’s built on surrender.

Application

Ask yourself:

What am I avoiding God speaking into?

Where am I performing instead of being honest?

A man of integrity doesn’t fear God’s examination—he invites it.

2. A Man of Integrity Lets God examine His Inner World

“Test me and know my anxious thoughts…” (v.23)

Heart (the core of who you are)

Anxious thoughts (the hidden, restless inner life)

David goes deeper—from external behaviour to internal reality.

Key Insight

The real battle for integrity is not outward—it’s inward.

“Anxious thoughts” can include:

Fear of failure

Lust, anger, comparison

Insecurity masked as pride

Private compromises no one sees

The Danger: Self-Deception

Men often say:

“I’m fine.”

“It’s under control.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

But Scripture reveals something sobering: You can lie to yourself and believe it.

David understands:

“God, I don’t even fully know me… but You do.”

Spiritual Maturity

A mature man says:

“God, show me what I can’t see.”

“Expose what I’ve normalised.”

Application

What thoughts dominate your private moments?

What patterns do you excuse?

Integrity is not just what you do—it’s what you harbour.

3. A Man of Integrity Asks God to Confront What’s Wrong

“See if there is any offensive way in me…” (v.24)

David moves from examination to .

“Offensive way” (or “grievous way”) speaks of:

Sin that wounds your soul

Patterns that lead to destruction

Habits that dishonour God

Key Insight

Integrity requires confrontation, not just awareness.

It’s one thing to say:

“I have issues.”

It’s another to say:

“God, confront and deal with them.”

The Reality for Men

Unchecked patterns lead to:

Strained relationships

Spiritual drift

Secret bondage

Sin always promises control —but delivers slavery.

Sin always promises pleasure — but delivers chains.

Sin always promises life — but delivers death.

Sin always promises satisfaction — but leaves you empty.

Sin always promises control — but makes you captive.

Application

Ask:

What is God already convicting me about?

What have I tolerated too long?

4. A Man of Integrity Follows God’s Leading Into a Better Way

“And lead me in the way everlasting.” (v.24)

This is the turning point.

David doesn’t just want to be examined — he wants direction.

The Two Ways

Scripture consistently presents two paths:

The way of destruction

The way of life

The “offensive way” leads to pain. The “everlasting way” leads to life, peace, and purpose.

Key Insight

Integrity is not just removing wrong—it’s pursuing right.

God’s searching is not:

Condemnation

It is:

Invitation

Transformation

Alignment with His purposes

Application

Where is God leading you right now?

What step of obedience have you delayed?

A man of integrity follows—even when it’s costly.

5. The Courage This Prayer Requires

Let’s be honest—this prayer is risky.

Because if you pray:

“Search me…”

God will:

Bring things to light

Convict your heart

Call you higher

Real Strength Is…

Not hiding—but being honest

Not pretending—but repenting

Not controlling—but surrendering

Conclusion: From Knowledge to Transformation

Psalm 139 ends with a powerful shift:

God knows everything about you

God is present everywhere with you

And now: You invite Him to change you

Closing Prayer

“God, we invite You to search us. Not just our actions, but our hearts. Not just what we show, but what we hide.

Expose anything in us that leads to destruction. Break patterns we’ve tolerated. Reveal what we’ve ignored.

And lead us—into the way everlasting. Make us people of integrity, whole, honest, and aligned with You.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.”