Fruit of the Spirit: Self-Control

The Fruit and Self-Control

Pam made a cake for her parents 50th anniversary a little over a week ago.

It was a homemade chocolate cake with homemade chocolate icing, and it was really good.

We had her parents over on a Thursday night and, after eating dinner, we cut the cake, and I ate a pretty reasonably sized piece, thinking, “I don’t need too many sweats after a big dinner.”

I walked away from the table feeling pretty good about myself.

So good in fact that, while I was cleaning up the kitchen, I thought “I had a pretty small piece of cake, I might just take one more bite.”

One bite turned into two bites, and before long that reasonable piece was now a generous piece, but 50 years of marriage only happens once in a couples relationship so we ought to celebrate.

That same excuse didn’t make sense the next 3 days though when, every time I walked into the kitchen I felt like that cake grew a mouth and started calling to me to come and take a bite.

And I game in much more than I resisted.

I wish I could say that was the only area of my life where I struggled with self-control, but that would be far from the truth.

Whether we realize it or not, that struggle is evidence that every morning we wake up we are in a war.

That is the heart behind the passage we have been studying the last nine weeks.

Paul frames the war in 5:16-18, a war between our flesh and the Spirit. 

Galatians 5:16–18 CSB

16 I say, then, walk by the Spirit and you will certainly not carry out the desire of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don’t do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

“The flesh desires what is against the Spirit and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh.”

And this opposition leads to the outcome “you don’t do what you want to do”.

When we come to faith in Christ, the Holy Spirit takes up residence in our hearts.

The nine traits we have looked at over the past weeks are the FRUIT His presence produces in our lives.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

If love is the center of the fruit, in the sense that each of the fruits are an expression of love.

Self-control is engine that drives the production of the fruit in us.

And it is in self-control where the war is waged inside of us.

The INWARD BATTLE of Self-Control

This battle between our flesh and the Spirit shows up more than just in Galatians 5.

Paul goes even deeper into the struggle in Romans 7 and 8

Romans 7 is one of the most candid and transparent chapters in the bible.

Paul is expressing the struggle that every Christian feels between our flesh (our natural, sinful nature) and the Spirit, whom comes to live in us when we trust in Christ.

Romans 7:18–19 CSB

18 For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it. 19 For I do not do the good that I want to do, but I practice the evil that I do not want to do.

He isn’t talking to unbelievers here, because this war doesn’t exist in them.

They may battle with how aspects of their life are viewed by others or how it effects their relationship, but the deep, spiritual struggle Paul is talking about isn’t in them.

What Paul says at the end of 18 is so incredibly important… “I desire to do what is good, but there is NO ABILITY TO DO IT.”

As hard as he may try, Paul doesn’t have the ability to do what is right.

This seems to go against the very idea of self-control doesn’t it.

If Paul, the writer of most of the books of the New Testament, the man who the Lord used to plant numerous churches across the world in the 1st century and spread the gospel across the world.

If that guy doesn’t have the ability to control himself, then what chance do we have!

That is exactly Paul’s conclusion at the end of the chapter, listen: Romans 7:24-25

Romans 7:24–25 CSB

24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with my mind I myself am serving the law of God, but with my flesh, the law of sin.

Left to ourselves, regardless of how hard we try, how well we are raised, how much religious duty we have accomplished, we are in desperate need of rescue.

Thanks be to God through Jesus!

Flip over to Romans 8:1-4

Romans 8:1–4 CSB

1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, 2 because the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law could not do since it was weakened by the flesh, God did. He condemned sin in the flesh by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh as a sin offering, 4 in order that the law’s requirement would be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

God accomplished in Christ what we could never accomplish through the law.

Not because God’s law couldn’t save us, but because we were unable to control ourselves in order to live it out.

And that is the war of self-control.

It is not a war of controlling ourselves.

It is a war of putting ourselves UNDER control, specifically the CONTROL of the Spirit.

Self-control is not CONTROLLING OURSELVES, it is putting our “SELF” UNDER CONROL.

Listen to 2 Peter:

2 Peter 1:3–4 CSB

3 His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 By these he has given us very great and precious promises, so that through them you may share in the divine nature, escaping the corruption that is in the world because of evil desire.

God has given us everything we need to live a life of Godliness through the knowledge of Him (saving faith)

and so we share His “divine” nature (we are being shaped into the image of Jesus). 

This is all passive, in the sense that the Spirit is growing, empowering, and motivating the “divine nature” in us.

So, in this sense, self-control is out of our hands...

And yet, the verse continues  

2 Peter 1:5–6 CSB

5 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, 6 knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness,

“for this reason, make every effort…”

Again, self-control isn’t controlling ourselves, it is putting the self under control…the control of the Spirit.

That is what Paul says in Gal 5:16 “Walk by the Spirit…” and 5:25 “…keep in step with the Spirit…” 

The race we are running isn’t dependent on us, on our self-motivation, strength, or ability.

But, by the power of the Spirit, we are engaged in the battle.

Day by day, choice by choice, temptation after temptation, opportunity after opportunity...

Self-control in Galatians 5:23 is the grace-given ability, by the Spirit, say ‘no’ to our flesh and its desires and ‘yes’ to what pleases God.

It is the battle to bear the fruit of the Spirit by the power of the Spirit for the glory of Christ.

There is an inward battle of self-control, but How do we live out the tension of the battle in real life? 

The UPWARD FOCUS of Self-Control

Paul compares the life of a Christian in 1 Corinthians 9 to a runner training for a race.

1 Corinthians 9:24–25 CSB

24 Don’t you know that the runners in a stadium all race, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way to win the prize. 25 Now everyone who competes exercises self-control in everything. They do it to receive a perishable crown, but we an imperishable crown.

Notice what Paul doesn't say.

He doesn't say, 'Run harder. Grit your teeth. Try to be more disciplined.'

He says, 'Look at the prize.' The runner exercises self-control because of the prize.

Big Idea: The Gospel—God's grace in Christ to save us and set us free from the power and penalty of our sins—is the motivation of self-control.

It is what motivates our daily obedience to the Spirit is our moment-by-moment submission to Christ.

But, we don't just passively wait for self-control to magically appear.

We run the race with our eyes fixed on the “prize”, our eyes fixed on Christ.

1) FIX your eyes on the PRIZE.

Paul’s point in 1 Corinthians 9 is not, “Try harder,” but, “Treasure better.”

Runners gladly subject themselves to the pain and hardness of training because they are fixated by a promised reward.

In the same way, the more our hearts are set on Christ and the “imperishable crown,” the more we will gladly say no to sin and yes to Him.

The Bible never calls you to white‑knuckle holiness disconnected from hope.

It calls you to fix your eyes on Jesus, to aim the promised reward, the joy of the the ‘Well done’ that awaits.

Self-control grows where Christ and the hope we have in Him is more precious that the temporary pleasure of gratifying our flesh.

2) Plan for OBEDIENCE, don’t just PRAY for it.

We often think self-control is only about big, dramatic moments of temptation.

But Paul’s runner image assumes training—daily, deliberate choices that line up with the race you say you’re running.

A runner doesn’t just show up on race day and hope his lungs obey.

He orders his habits around his goal.

In the same way, if we want to grow in self-control, we don’t just ask God for help in the moment; we start arranging our lives to help us say yes to Him.

Bible intake

Don’t just pray, “Lord, help me love your Word more.”

Plan: set a specific time, place, and plan (e.g., read one chapter as 6:30 a.m. at the kitchen table, phone in another room).

Speech / anger

Don’t just pray, “Help me not blow up at my kids / spouse.”

Plan: when you feel the heat rising, you step out of the room for 2 minutes, pray, then respond. Tell your family this is what you’re doing so they know it’s not withdrawal, it’s obedience.

Purity online

Don’t just pray, “Help me be pure on my phone.”

Plan: install filters, move devices out of the bedroom, set “no phone after 10 p.m.,” and give someone else the passwords. Decide ahead of time what you will do when a tempting image pops up (e.g., immediately close the app and text your accountability partner).

Media / screens

Don’t just pray, “Help me stop wasting time scrolling.”

Plan: set a daily screen limit, choose “phone-free” zones (like the dinner table or bedroom), and pre-decide what you will do instead (read, talk with family, pray, take a walk).

Eating / health

Don’t just pray, “Help me have self-control with food.”

Plan: don’t keep certain trigger foods in the house, pre-plan your meals for the day, decide in advance how many desserts or drinks you’ll have at an event.

Praying for self-control is essential, but if we only pray and never plan, we’re asking God to bless a race we haven’t laced our shoes up to run.

3) Practice daily REPENTENCE and fresh SURRENDER.

You will not conquer self-control this side of heaven.

You will say yes to the cake again.

You will lose your temper again.

You will fall, fail, and fumble

The question is not ‘Will I ever fail?’ but ‘What do I do when I fail?

Run to Christ, confess honestly, without excuses.

Be reminded of Romans 8:1 “there is no condemnation” in Him.

Get up and keep walking by the Spirit.

The gospel is not only the motivation for self-control; it is the refuge when we blow it.

The same Jesus who rescued Paul from ‘this body of death’ is the Jesus who meets you in your lack of self-control, forgives you, fills you with His Spirit, and says, ‘Get up. Keep running. I’m with you.’

Our responsibility is not to be perfect runners, but to keep fixing our eyes on Him and, by His Spirit, to keep putting one obedient step in front of the other.

Closing

INVITE THE BAND TO COME

That battle in my kitchen over chocolate cake is honestly just a tiny picture of something much bigger going on in every one of us.

We feel the pull. We hear the “voice” of our flesh. And if we’re honest, we give in more than we resist.

The Bible doesn’t pretend that tension isn’t real. It names it. It calls it a war between the flesh and the Spirit.

And this morning we’ve seen two things:

There is an inward battle of self-control that you cannot win in your own strength.

There is an upward focus of self-control that you can live in, because of Christ and by the Spirit.

Saying no to self starts with saying yes to Jesus.

It is believing that God's best is actually also our best.

The desires in your body and mind lie to you about what will satisfy you.

So if you have not yet said yes to Jesus I want to invite you to do just that today.

Your problem is not first that you lack self-control.

Your problem is that you are still in your sins, still under the law of sin and death.

The invitation to you is not “Try harder.”

It is “Be rescued.” Turn to Jesus.

Trust his death in your place, his resurrection for your life.

Receive forgiveness, receive his Spirit, and let him begin this work in you from the inside out.

If you have said yes to Jesus for salvation I want to invite you to say yes to Jesus again

today, and tomorrow morning, and the next day, and every moment this week when your desires and appetites are tempting you to say yes to them, by the power of the holy spirit, help us Lord to say yes over and over to you.

So here’s the simple invitation for us as a church family:

Where is the Spirit convicting you this morning—what one area of your life is he saying, “Give me control here”?

Will you stop trying to win that battle in your own strength and instead, by faith, put that area under his control?

In a moment, I want to give you time just to respond to the Lord.

Maybe you need to confess a lack of self-control—name it specifically.

Maybe you need to thank him that there is no condemnation in Christ.

Maybe you need to ask for the conviction to make a plan that lines up with the race you say you’re running.

PRAY