The 7th Commandment

So last week we answered the question: What is sexual sin, today we are going to answer our second and third question. We’ve got a lot to cover, so let’s dive right in:

How do we keep ourselves and others from the trap of sexual sin?

Well if you look at the Westminster's commentary on this, the commandment is both about preserving your own and your neighbors chastity so I want to look at those two elements.Let’s first look at our own chastity in my first subpoint:

The Seventh Commandment Calls us to Preserve Our OWN Chastity

We have a duty to keep our lives pure from sexual sin. We cannot point to someone when we sin and say “it’s his fault” - the fault is ours. But how do we do this? How do we keep ourselves from sexual sin?

Well let’s look at the text:

7 and I have seen among the simple, I have perceived among the youths, a young man lacking sense, 8 passing along the street near her corner, taking the road to her house 9 in the twilight, in the evening, at the time of night and darkness.

Now there are three very important takeaways that I have from this text that I would like to look at and the first is this:

First, the youth in this text is alone. This is true for our society today. Today, young men and women can walk “alone” on the street corner of the prostitute alone any time they would like. Through the internet.

So, what is the solution to this? It's simple. Never be alone. Technology is unregulated today and porn is accessible everywhere, but there are ways to regulate your technology. For you to not be alone because you either close off technological street corners completely, or have someone else monitor you while you are on the streets of the internet. Accountability does not have to result in a lack of privacy, yet even if it were so the destruction of sexual sin would still warrant a minute by minute spectacle of every moment of your life.

So, this is my first call for you of the night. Do you have a device in your life where you are alone? If you have a device in your life where you are “alone” you need to tell me, your parents, or your youth leader tonight.

Plain and simple. If you currently have restrictions on your device and have found a way around those restrictions, bring that to light.

You should not have to be alone in this fight. I want you to have the grace of someone to help you in this struggle. Let this be a call for you to take action to bring sin and darkness to light right now. And I assure you that you will only be met with grace if you do this. People have come to me and told me about their struggles with pornography on their own accord, and what do I do? I rejoice.

Second, the man in this passage has an abundance of time. Frankly, to help with your fight against lust you need to keep yourself busy. A bored man leads himself into trouble. The man in this passage was walking by the prostitutes street in the twilight, evening, and at the time of darkness. He had too much time on his hands. Yes, it is good to rest, but especially young men need to keep themselves busy to help in this fight.

Third, the man in this passage is where he should not be. Even if this man had the purest intentions in the world, he was not being wise in where he was spending his time. What does this mean practically? Avoid even the doors to the den of the prostitute. If something causes you to be tempted towards sexual sin, it is worth it for you to completely cut it out.

And also, if you heard my first call to action about putting restrictions on your devices and you thought “Oh I don’t have to do that, I don’t really struggle with this” you are in a dangerous state of mind. It is never a waste of time to set yourself up for purity. The small sacrifice of restricting your devices, is such a small price to pay for the blessing that is holiness and purity.

So, we have seen that the way that we preserve our own purity is to bring our sexual sin to light, and to put restrictions in place that prevent us from falling into the trap of sexual sin, but what is that second part of the

This leads me to my second subpoint:

The Seventh Commandment Calls us to Preserve Our NEIGHBORS Chastity

Let’s look at the text:

13 She seizes him and kisses him, and with bold face she says to him, 14 “I had to offer sacrifices, and today I have paid my vows; 15 so now I have come out to meet you, to seek you eagerly, and I have found you. 16 I have spread my couch with coverings, colored linens from Egyptian linen; 17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. 18 Come, let us take our fill of love till morning; let us delight ourselves with love. 19 For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey; 20 he took a bag of money with him; at full moon he will come home.” 21 With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him.

The woman in this passage is causing the man to sin. She compliments him, seizes him, kisses him, entices him into a special day of linens, perfumes, and tempts him with sex. Now you might hear this and think the application is that women cause men to sexual sin - that’s not quite the application here. Why? Because both men and women are responsible. First let’s address the men.

Men need to protect their neighbors.

The man is not only causing himself to sin, but he is causing the woman to sin. When you sleep with a prostitute you pay them, and that is the same for pornography today. Every time you watch porn, you are not only harming yourself, but you are enticing the woman behind the screen into sin. But that is not the only way that a man causes another to sin. As the woman drew the man in with lustful words, men do so as well. Men also trap women into temptation, though it tends to look different. It often looks like emotional investment for physical dividends.

A man will flatter a woman with his words, complimenting her beauty or genius so that they can push your physical boundaries. So men, be careful with your words. Do not draw women in with sweet words with the intention of softening their guard against sexual sin. Do not flatter a woman so that she goes further than you should in your boundaries. And ladies, be on guard against this. Do not let flattery and attachment lead you to cross physical or even emotional boundaries.

So we know that men cause the woman to sin through funding their immorality and by enticing them to sin, but women also cause men to sin.

Women need to protect their neighbors.

First I would like to address one elephant in the room when you hear this subpoint. Modesty. In this passage the woman was drawing the man in by many things - today it is very common for women to draw a man into sin by causing them to lust over them by being revealing with their body. I want to encourage you women to be modest. Why? First, because you do not want to lead another man into sin. Second, your body deserves respect, and so you should treat your body with the respect it deserves. Now to clarify, this does not mean that you should wear a trash bag. Though it is hard to define. There is not a specific metric for how little skin to show. So, how do you define what is modest? The short answer is that you don’t. Other people define it.

Ask your mom, your friends, or a trusted woman if something is modest, and if they say it is great, if not then be willing and open to change. There is profound beauty to be found in modesty. True beauty. Women can be stunningly beautiful without dressing in a lustful manner.

Another thing I would like to briefly address is flirtation. The lady in this text flirted with the man to draw him in. There is such a thing as righteous and unrighteous flirtation. For the sake of time, I cannot get much deeper into this, but I think that this would be a great thing to talk about in small groups for you ladies.

Now, most of you are going to get married one day. That is my dream and my hope. And, in order for you to get married, you will need to date your future spouse. So, I have a call for each and every one of you. Maintain sexual purity with the person you are dating. Men, be a strong man and care for your woman. Do not cause her to stumble. Do not cover her with compliments to undress her body. Woman, hold your boundaries firm and do not compromise on giving yourself to a man before marriage. You need to make that resolution now, so that when you face temptation you can be strong.

And please know that if you are currently dating someone, or have in the past and crossed physical boundaries that you should not have. This is a safe place to bring that to light. These leaders care for you and want what’s best for you. Most of our leaders have faced the same temptations and have navigated those waters. So this is my second call for you tonight;

If you are dating someone right now and have crossed physical boundaries you need to tell me, your leader, or your parents tonight. If you have kissed when you should not have kissed, touched where you should not have touched, or been touched where you should not have been touched, please bring it to light tonight. No matter how far you have gone, it is never too far to where you cannot bring it to light. Christ covers all magnitudes of sins. Do not disregard this wisdom.

We care for you and want what’s best for you, and you should not have to navigate these waters alone. We want to walk alongside you and we can only help you if you bring these things to light. And if you keep these things in the dark, it will only lead to despair and regret. Also know that this applies not only now, but when you go off to college.

I would rejoice if I got a call from one of you young men, or heard that one of you ladies called one of our leaders to ask for help navigating physical boundaries at college or called to confess that you crossed those lines that you shouldn’t have. You will be met with love if you reach out and your road will be much easier if you bring it to light rather than hiding in darkness. How do you help someone else who you know is stuck in sexual sin? My answer is very simple: You are not qualified to handle this alone. You need to bring it to someone who is. Sexual sin is too complex and too serious for you to shoulder the burden of "fixing" someone else by yourself.

So, here is my practical call for you:

If you know someone who is struggling with sexual sin and they refuse to bring it into the light, here is what you do. First, tell them directly that they need to go to a trusted pastor or adult. If they refuse, you must tell them: "I love you too much to let you stay in the dark. If you won't talk to someone, I am going to go to a trusted pastor or adult for you." You should pray for them. You should encourage them in their battle. But you are not responsible for carrying this weight, though you are responsible for helping them stay accountable.

Think about it this way: If someone you knew swallowed a poison that would lead to their death, and they refused to ask for the cure, would you just sit there? Or would you call for help? The most loving thing you can do for a friend or family member is to urge them toward the light—and if they won't go, you bring the light to them.

Now, let’s get to get to our last question:

How do we take responsibility for the consequences of sexual sin?

So, we have looked at what the trap of sexual sin is, that it is fools gold, that it is caused by a disregard for wisdom, and that it is everywhere, we have also learned that the seventh commandment tells us to protect our own chastity and the chastity of our neighbor, now I want to look at the end of the text. The consequences of sexual sin. Let’s look at the text:

21 With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. 22 All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast 23 till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life. 24 And now, O sons, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth. 25 Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths, 26 for many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are a mighty throng. 27 Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death.

The consequences of living in sexual sin are clear. They lead to death both a death of the body and the death of the soul. Let’s first look at the death of the body in our first subpoint:

The death of the body

We see clearly in this text that the trap of sexual sin cost the man his life. We all know that lust is wrong, but I want to paint a clearer picture of the real and physical consequences of indulging in sexual sin. Yes, porn and masturbation is wrong, and we know that through our faith, but the more and more that we learn about the side effects of porn, the more even the secular world is coming around to realize its destructive nature. Porn does not just affect your soul, it affects your physical body and harms your capability to enjoy sex. I did a brief overview of the physical effects of porn based on scientific studies and this is what I found.

Porn desensitizes your dopamine levels meaning that quite literally it effects our ability to be happy, it reduces the grey matter in the prefrontal cortex reducing your willpower, executive functioning and moral reasoning, for young men it causes erectile dysfunction and other sexual health issues making it difficult or impossible to have sex in real life, it reduces sex drive, it causes body dysmorphia by comparing your body to the body in the screen, causes depression, anxiety, and a strong correlation has been found between those who consume porn regularly to suicidal thoughts or attempts.

One thing to notice here is the backwards nature of sexual sin. In indulging in sexual sin your desire is sexual gratification, yet the act of sexual sin actually decreases your ability to have sexual gratification. It’s backwards. Porn, lust, and masturbation deeply harms your body. It is not something to mess around with. The reality of sin is that it is not just a breaking of a moral code. When we sin it makes us miserable both mentally and physically. I do not want that for you. I want you to be full of joy, so please do not be led to the death of the body.

And also, just a note for you, if you hear anything that I am talking about and think “Oh man, I haven't thought about watching porn, I should do that. Or what is masturbation? I haven't heard that I should try that.” Those are the exact thoughts that lead to your death. Do not entertain those thoughts. Squash them, and kill them before they grow into an everconsuming trap. And if you are feeling tempted by them, talk to us about them. Please.

So, we know that lust leads to the death of the body, but it also leads to the death of the soul.

The death of the soul

If we look at the text, we see clearly that the man is being led to his death. And if you notice it is not just the man facing his death, it is both the man and the woman. Both are led to death as an ox to slaughter. There are many warnings in scripture about sexual immorality. Ephesians 5:5 says:

“5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.”

Some of you might hear this and be struck to the heart. You should feel struck to the heart. This is a very serious matter that scripture does not tip toe around. If you are in sexual sin you need to bring it to light, or it will not only lead to your physical death but it will lead to your eternal death in hell. Why? Because sexual sin is one of the most destructive things in your life, and if you indulge in destruction, you risk your heart being hardened against the Lord. So, do not hide in sexual sin.

Now if you are sitting there and feeling convicted. If you hear that verse and worry about your standing in the Lord, know that is the Holy Spirit working in your soul. If you are worried if you have a place in Heaven because of your sexual sin, if you fear the Lord and his authority to cast you into hell, your heart is not hardened. Yes, our sexual sin leads us into bodily and spiritual death. But there is someone who has taken your death that you deserve. Christ has died for you and all your sins. No sin is so dark that it cannot be brought to the light. So I plead with you. Bring your sin into the light. Christ loves you. We care for you and want you to walk in joy and light. Our nature clings onto sin, refusing to let go, leading to our death.The only way to be free from the trap of sexual sin is for someone else to set you free. Only through Christ and his work can you be set free.

So here is for my last call for you:

If you have watched porn in the last month you need to tell me, your leader, or your parents tonight. If you have masturbated in the last month you need to tell me, your leader, or your parents tonight. If you have gone too far in a physical relationship you need to tell me, your leader, or your parents tonight. Let’s pray.