Undeserving Friends 26

I want to pick up where we left off at our agape feast. But later that evening.

Matthew 26:47–50 ESV

47 While he was still speaking, Judas came, one of the twelve, and with him a great crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests and the elders of the people. 48 Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “The one I will kiss is the man; seize him.” 49 And he came up to Jesus at once and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” And he kissed him.

Verse 50 gets me every time…

Matthew 26:47–50 ESV

50 Jesus said to him, “Friend, do what you came to do.” Then they came up and laid hands on Jesus and seized him.

Friend… He calls him friend.

If one of my closest friends were to hand me over to be murdered, the last thing I would call him is friend.

The interesting thing about the Greek behind the word friend is that it is only used four times in the New Testament.

And the only author who uses this word is Matthew.

First Time

The first time appears in Matthew 11:16-17. Jesus, concerning how the religious leaders received John the Baptist, he says,

Matthew 11:16–17 ESV

16 “But to what shall I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to their playmates, 17 “ ‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.’

The children who play (John) complain that their friends(the religious leaders) did not respond

to the music (the message). The friends act dishonorably.

Second Time

The Second time the word appears is in chapter 20, when Jesus tells a parable of a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers in his vineyard. He went out several times during the day to get workers. Some worked more than others, but at the end of the day, he gave them equal pay.

Those who had worked more grumbled against the landowner and accused him of being unfair and unjust. The land owner responded to them by calling them, “Friends…” (Matt 20:13)



The disciples listening to Jesus tell this parable must have been confused at the landowner’s reaction. Friends? The landowner didn’t need to give them jobs, but he did, and now they have the audacity to complain and call him unjust?

Moreover, he is a rich, successful man, and they are peasants; he is their employer, not their friend.

Third Time

The third time the word appears is two chapters later in chapter 22, when Jesus tells a parable of a king who prepared a great wedding banquet for his son. The king invited all those who deserved to be there: those of influence, position, and power. He had invited all the lofty, the rich, the educated, the intellectual to come and honor his son’s marriage.

He butchered the fattest oxen and cattle to feed his guests and didn’t go cheap on the other preparations. But they didn’t simply turn down the invitation; they ignored the invitation.

In the ancient world, turning down a wedding banquet invitation was a great insult. But some didn’t simply ignore the invitation; they added injury to insult and killed the servants!

The king, enraged, opened the invitation to everyone.

“Go to the streets corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.” (Matt 22:9)

And his home was filled with the “the bad as well as the good, …” (22:10)

As the king was making his way around welcoming his guests, he noticed a man who was inappropriately dressed. An even greater insult than ignoring an invitation was attending inappropriately dressed without wedding clothes. It was an outward sign of disrespect. The good king had already been insulted by the elites and now by this peasant. And when the king addresses him, he says, “Friend…” (Matt 22:12)

Both times that the word “friend” appears, it is used in the context of a master addressing an ungrateful, undeserving person. The landowner is not the peasant’s friend; he is his employer. The King is not the peasant’s friend; he is his king. The peasants have wronged the good landowner and king, but still the masters address them as: friend.

The Fourth Time

And the fourth time the word friend appears is here in Matt 26:50. Judas is betraying his master, his teacher, his closest friend. If it wasn’t for Jesus, who knows what he would be doing now! Jesus has opened his future to unspeakable and unimaginable possibilities!

Jesus has given him everything! 

The opportunity that Jesus has given Judas to be a disciple is an opportunity of a lifetime that few had the privilege of having. In the words of Jesus,  “many are invited, but few are chosen.” (Matt 22:14). 



But still…even now… Jesus calls him friend.

I imagine that the reason Jesus told those two other parables was for Judas. So that he could know that no matter what came, even if the world fell apart, Jesus would still call him a friend.

This reveals something beautiful about God… that the cross did not make him willing to forgive, but evidence that he always was.

Jesus does not allow others’ behavior to determine the kind of person he will be.

It is interesting how the last thing that Jesus does is forgive. Forgiveness before resurrection. Yet we often do not want to let go of our own grudges, but we want to be resurrected with Jesus.

Now, I do not mean to overstep my bounds, as I know many of you have gone through very painful experiences.  



What we do with our flesh and blood, and the time we have, matters.

For it is written “why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” (James 4:14)

If you were to die today, what are all those would-a, could-a, should-a’s that would come along with you? If you were to die today, would you want to go down with all that anger and resentment still lingering there?

Jesus had very little to say about heaven but a lot to say about how to live here, how to live right now, how to live this moment, how to live this life, how to live it more fully. Jesus came to teach us how to live life more abundantly, and the way to live life abundantly is to learn to forgive the way God forgives.

Learning to give grace the way God gives grace. Going to the undeserving and giving them a shot. Giving people who don’t deserve a second chance a second chance.

This is the believer’s embodiment of Christ’s act written about in Romans 5:8 that while we were still sinners Christ died for the ungodly. Romans 1,2 and 3 argue that God is just in his anger, but despite his anger, he still gives it all for humans.

Despite us being undeserving, He calls us friends.

That is mercy, that is grace, and you will never understand the gospel until you can forgive someone who has hurt you so deeply to the point that the injury is unforgivable. You will never understand the grace that God has given you until you have shown it to someone else. You will never understand the mercy that God has given you until you have shown it to someone else.

You are but dust; what you do with your flesh and blood matters; you are fading away. Resentment is a heavy burden to carry. Life is too short, and we have too few energies to spend them on being resentful.

My challenge for you is that you Do not let what was done to you decide who you become.

May you come to see that the Lord of the Heavens has called you friend. 



May you call a friend. 


Amen.