Not Done Yet

Intro

Shame is the voice that turns pain into identity

Sometimes that pain comes from what we have done

And sometimes it comes from what has been done to us

But either way,

Shame tries to take that pain and tell you:

This is who you are

And once shame becomes your identity

You start living like it is true

Because shame does not just speak

It tells us a story

A story about who you are

A story about where you belong

A story about what your future is

A story about what you deserve

And over time

You start believing that story

And then

You even start preaching it to yourself, and that voice becomes your own

There is a difference between what you have done, and who you are

Shame tries to erase that difference

This is something people have spent years trying to understand

One such person is a Christian psychiatrist named Curt Thompson

Who studies how shame works in our lives

Not just spiritually

but in our minds

our relationships

and even in our bodies

He says shame is more than just a feeling

It is a force that begins to pull your life apart 

It disconnects you from God

It disconnects you from others

It disconnects you from yourself

Shame is something that drives us into hiding

It makes you step back

It makes you go quiet

It makes you withdraw

And the most dangerous part of shame?

Is the story shame tells you,

And what shame convinces you to believe about reality

You are too far gone

You do not belong

You are done

I know that voice is real

Not just from sermon prep this week

Not just from reading Dr. Thompson’s work

But because I have heard that voice

And I have lived inside that story

During my time at Moody, I was addicted to pornography

And I was not ignoring it, I was trying to fight it!

I had accountability

I wanted to stop

But it felt like I was trying to climb

A mountain of wet clay

No matter how hard and far I climbed, I just slid back down

And over time, it began to take hold of more than just my actions

It started shaping what I believed about myself

Because the deeper issue was not just the sin

It was the shame

And the shame did not just stay shame

It began to shape how I saw myself

And that drove me back to the very addiction I was trying to escape

I already had a low view of myself

I already believed that something was wrong with me

That I was not worth loving

And that sin became the place where I could go to feel something like acceptance

Even though it was all a lie that was feeding the very shame I was trying to escape

But this struggle did not create that belief,

It confirmed it

And it made the shame story louder

That this is just who I am, and this is who I will always be

That thought horrified me, I figured that if I kept going,

My story would simply be another pastor having some moral failure

So, before anything ever came into the light

That shame had already begun to shape my heart

It made me jaded

It started to harden me

It put a wall between me and Jesus, and I was the one that built it!

And even though I was trying to fight it, my heart was slowly drifting

The lowest point came in my Junior Year

For about ten days, I was in a place where I honestly thought

It would be better if I died than keep living in this cycle

After all, In my mind, it was just a matter of time

Before I became another story people point to as a reason not to trust in Jesus

And all of this was because I believed the story shame was telling me

Shame was the voice that wanted me to believe

I was beyond grace

You are done,

There is no coming back

There is no redemption

God is finished with you,

It would be better if you were gone

And the reason I share this

Is because the Bible does not ignore moments like this

It brings us right into them

God is not surprised by shame dragging us down

And that is exactly where we find Peter

God

Jesus Meets Us (v.1-14)

But to understand this moment, we have to go back

Because before the cross

Jesus told His disciples that they would all fall away

And Peter said,

“Even if everyone else falls away, I never will!”

“Even if I have to die with You, I will never deny You”

And Jesus looked at Peter, and said

Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me, three times

And Peter hears this

But he does not believe it

That same night

Peter stands around a charcoal fire

And when people ask him about Jesus

He denies Him

Not once

Not twice

But three times

And by the end, he is calling down curses and swearing

I do not know that man!

And Luke tells us that in that moment,

Jesus turned and looked directly at Peter

And in that moment Peter remembered what Jesus had said to him

So he went out, and wept bitterly

At the very moment Jesus needed him most

Peter was denying that he even knew Him

That moment became a defining memory of shame for Peter

Even after the resurrection

Even after seeing Jesus alive

Peter had not yet dealt with his shame

So now, after the resurrection, we find Peter again

He is back where Jesus originally found him, in Galilee

Jesus told the disciples to go there

And Peter says,

I am going fishing

They fish all night, and catch nothing

Peter is in the right place

but still weighed down by his shame

So maybe this is more than just passing time

This is what shame does:

It pulls us back

To what feels safe

To what we knew before Jesus

Peter is present, but not yet restored

Then as dawn begins to break, there is a man on the beach, and he calls out,

“Friends, have you caught anything as you fished!?”

They had not

The disciples did not recognize Jesus

Jesus tells them to cast their nets to the other side of the boat,

and they immediately have a massive haul of fish!

And John says, “It is the Lord!”

This lake was the same lake that Peter, John, and James were called from

This was nearly the same miracle that Jesus performed for them when they had another night of no catch fishing

And Jesus told them to throw their nets to the other side of the boat

They did, and the catch was so large their nets began to break from the fish!

But this time is different

When Peter first saw Jesus do this miracle of the great catch,

He recoiled away from Jesus

He told Jesus to get away from him for he was a sinful man!

Same lake

Same miracle

Same sinful man

But a different response

This time he does not recoil

He races toward Jesus

He grabs his outer garment, ties it around him, and dives into the sea to swim to Jesus

Peter knows he’s sinful, but instead of pulling back

He moves towards Jesus

Because the man on that shore is the One who just defeated death

So Peter swims the 100 yards to Jesus,

And is met by something that would have stopped him in his tracks,

Another charcoal fire

The same kind of fire where Peter denied Jesus

The smell

The setting

The memory

All of it comes rushing back

This is no accident

Jesus chose this moment to meet Peter in the place of his shame

So the rest of the disciples come to shore, and they unload the fish

And Jesus says, come and eat with me!

There is more happening here than breakfast

In Scripture, to eat with someone is to share fellowship

It means the relationship is not broken beyond repair

Jesus is bringing Peter back to the place of his shame

Not to shame him, but to restore him

And not in private, but in front of the other disciples

Make no mistake

Jesus is the one making the first move

He calls them from the shore

He fills their nets

He prepares the fire

He invites them to eat

So that they can see,

Jesus is not done with Peter

After all, this is what the risen Jesus does

He meets us in our shame and restores us to follow Him

Jesus Restores Us (v.15-17)

And as they finish the meal, Jesus turns to Peter

Not in private

But in front of the others

He says,

Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?

Notice, Jesus does not call him Peter here

He calls him Simon

The name he had before he ever followed Jesus

Not to shame him

But to meet him honestly where he is

Jesus is not trying to shame Peter

He is trying to heal him

Healing shame is not painless

Peter had once said,

Even if everyone else falls away, I never will!

The question Jesus asks, do you love me more than these,

Is Jesus walking Peter back to that moment

Not, why did you fail

Not, explain yourself

Rather, Jesus asks a question that goes deeper

Do you love me?

Jesus does not ignore what has happened!

He is bringing Peter back to the deepest place of his shame

Not to crush him

But to meet him there

And restore him

That is why the same mouth that denied Jesus

Is now asked to declare its love for Jesus

And Peter says

Yes Lord, you know that I love you

And Jesus responds

Feed my lambs

Then a second time:

Do you love me?

Yes Lord, You know that I love you.

Tend my sheep!

And finally a third time

Do you love me?

Now Peter is grieved, because this is the third time

It can almost feel like Jesus is being incredibly harsh with Peter

But here is what is happening:

Three denials require

Three restorations

This is not repetition by accident

He is walking Peter back through his failure for healing

Shame hides

Shame isolates

And it is only healed, when what is hidden,

Is brought into the presence of Jesus

So the exasperated Peter says,

Lord you know everything!

You know that I love you!

And Jesus says

Feed my sheep

Jesus is calling Peter to shepherd the Church!

To led people towards Jesus!

This is not Jesus shaming Peter

This is Jesus restoring him

He does not ignore the failure

He redeems it

He does not just forgive Peter

He recommissions him

He restores his calling

The reminder of his failure

Becomes the place of his restoration

The man who failed publicly, is now trusted again

And not long after this, he stands in front of thousands boldly proclaiming Jesus

Because, this is what the risen Jesus does

He meets us in our shame and restores us to follow Him

Jesus Calls Us (v.18-19)

Jesus does not just leave Peter with forgiveness,

but with restored relationships

He says, “Follow me”

The same words Jesus had spoken to him on this very lake years before

After everything

After the failure

After the shame

Jesus calls him again

Here is what that moment tells us

About Peter, and about us

What we have done

does not define us anymore

And what has been done to us

does not define us either

Those moments of shame are not the end of your story

Because being restored to Jesus, is not about an easier life

It is about a better one

The life we were made for

Restored to our created purpose, even when it leads through painful places

Jesus says that one day, Peter would stretch out his hands

And be led where he does not want to go

And John tells us,

Jesus said this to show the kind of death, by which Peter would glorify God

The one who once feared death and denied Jesus to save his life

Is now called to follow Jesus

No matter the cost

And Peter would follow Jesus all the way to glory

And the reason he could do this

Was because Jesus had already met him in his shame

And the mercy of Jesus transformed his heart

This is not just a reinstatement of Peter

Jesus is calling Peter to himself once more

The one who failed, is now called again

And that calling is not a moment

It is a lifetime of following Jesus,

Not just when it is easy,

Not just when it is safe,

But through the highs and lows

And this is where Peter’s story, blurs into our stories

Because following Jesus,

Is not about never failing

It is about being restored, and continuing to follow Jesus

Again

This is what the risen Jesus does

He meets us in our shame

He restores us,

So we can follow Him all the days of our life

Application

This is where Peter’s story, and my story, and your story meet

For me, the shame and hope did not stay theoretical

What I told you at the beginning about my addiction, how did I get free?

I got caught, during my internship

And in that moment, I thought:

This is it, this is where the story ends

This is where Jesus casts me aside, this is where I am done

Yet, instead of pushing me out, or shaming me,

That pastor pulled me in with the kindness of Jesus

And he confronted me in my shame,

And like Jesus with Peter, he walked me through restoration

“How do we get this out of your life”,

vs.

“How do I get you out of my church”

And that changed everything

Because shame says, hide, run, you do not belong here!

But the risen Jesus does something different

So I brought it into the light, and I kept bringing it into the light

I told my advisors at Moody, I went to counseling

And when I graduated, I made the decision

To not pursue ministry for a time

Not because Jesus was done with me,

But because I needed to slow down and focus on my walk with Jesus

Before moving forward in ministry

And one of the hardest consequences of that choice,

Was telling my dad that I was not pursing ministry right away, because of pornography

Because every boy, wants to make his dad proud!

And I did not know what he would say

At first, I think he was really caught off-guard, and didn’t know what to say

But he called me when I got back to Moody that night

And he said the most powerful words that he could have ever said to me,

“ Ky, I am proud of you, for not doing what is easy, but doing what is right.

For choosing integrity, over what people might think of you.

I love you, and am so proud to have you as my son”

That moment, changed something in me

Because what I expected was disappointment

But what I experienced was mercy, grace and love

Dad’s words began to break the shame I was carrying

As Curt Thompson talks about,

Shame loses its power, when it is brought into the light of relationship

It is not just being known but being known and loved that dismantles shame

And that is exactly what happened with Peter

He is brought into the light in front of the others

And he is not rejected, he is restored

And then he goes on to stand in front of thousands and proclaim Jesus

The one who said,

I do not know Him!

Becomes the one who says

This Jesus, whom you crucified is both Lord and Messiah!

And he would later write to the church leaders:

Shepherd the flock of God willingly, and when the chief shepherd Jesus appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory!

The man who needed restoration becomes someone who helps restore others to Jesus

That is the hope of Easter friends!

Jesus is alive

Which means shame does not get the final word

Sin does not get the final word

Satan does not get the final word

The risen King Jesus does

And because He is alive

He still meets people in their shame

So here is the question

What are you doing with the shame you have?

Some of you have been hiding it,

Pretending it is not there

Some of you have believed the story

That this is just who you are, beyond repair or change

Some of you have never brought some of your shame into the light

And some of you have never trusted Jesus at all!

Today is a call

If you have never trusted Him, to come to Him

There is nothing you have done, or had done to you, that makes Jesus step back

He comes into your shame to heal you

And if you already follow Jesus,

Whether it be for 1 week, or 40 years, this is a call to come back into the light

Not alone with your sin and unresolved shame, but with Jesus, and with your church family

Healing shame is not painless, but it is where freedom begins

Because this is what the risen Jesus has done for Peter, has done for me,

And continues to do for all who call out to Him

He meets us in our shame

He restores our relationships

All so we can follow Him, the rest of our lives

No matter what story your shame might be telling you right now,

Your shame is not the end

Your shame is not more powerful than the empty tomb

Your shame is not who you are

Because, Jesus is not done with you

Benediction:

May you go knowing,

that the risen Jesus meets you in your shame

May you walk in the freedom, of His mercy and grace

And may you follow Him, through the highs and lows,

Until he returns or calls you to home to Himself

And all God’s people said, Amen