Marriage According to God

What God Wants

Introduction

“Tying the knot” and “getting hitched” are some of the traditional terms used to describe it. They describe what should be a joyful occasion filled with love, faithfulness, and charitable acts that bond two together to last a lifetime. Of course I am speaking about matrimony. One of the most precious and honorable gifts God has given to mankind. This paper will explore the way God set it to be with the benefits, adversities and consequences of deviating from God’s plan.

our society

Today's society is complex. When guided by ethical leaders, it can reflect unity and purpose. However, rising self-interest has impacted institutions like marriage and contributed to a more chaotic social environment, especially in our fast-paced world. Conflicting views on morality have led to controversial, non-traditional decisions that impact our choices in relationships.

A prominent university created an Encyclopedia of Philosophy, highlighting a continuing debate about morality. The following excerpt emphasizes the central issue: “There does not appear to be substantial justification for believing that one definition of morality will suffice for all moral discussions, even within the field of philosophy.” One reason for this is that “morality” seems to be used in two distinct broad senses: a descriptive sense and a normative sense. More particularly, the term “morality” can be used either.

descriptively to refer to certain codes of conduct endorsed by a society or a group (such as a religion), or accepted by an individual for her own behavior, or

normatively to refer to a code of conduct that, given specified conditions, would be endorsed by all rational people.

Any definition of “morality” in the descriptive sense will need to specify which of the codes endorsed by a society or group count as moral. Even in small homogeneous societies that have no written language, distinctions are sometimes made between morality, law, and religion. And in larger and more complex societies these distinctions are often sharply marked. So “morality” cannot be taken to refer to every code of conduct endorsed by a society. As Dahl (2023: 53) puts it, a descriptive definition of “morality” should be distinctive: it should distinguish moral judgments, principles, or codes from other normative judgments, principles, or codes.”

The article highlights the influencing of multicultural ethics in undertones and offers evidence of the need for a definitive set of standards.

Marriage in today’s social climate

Today's social standards are largely shaped by self-indulgence, mistrust, and misleading social media platforms. People are being inundated with misinformation from multiple sources about everything you can think of.  One fallout is the way society seems to treat marriage now, more like a corporate merger with terms and conditions not original to God’s plan. Then there are the taboo unions of participants not according to the will of the Father.

Marriage has become a second, even third option for individuals that want to be together. No longer does society value the institution as the honorable and first choice of couples. These choices led to a growing number of children who are living in broken households with one parent.

God’s Plan

            Marriage was instituted by God when He declared, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Gen. 2:18). So, God fashioned a woman and brought her to the man. On seeing the woman, Adam exclaimed, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (Gen. 2:23).

This passage also emphasizes the truth that “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). This suggests that God’s ideal is for a man to be the husband of one wife and for the marriage to be permanent.

The Bible presents marriage as more than a simple human arrangement; it is a sacred covenant grounded in divine purpose. In Malachi, the importance of this covenant is underscored when the wife is referred to as “the wife of thy covenant” (Mal 2:14). This language highlights the spiritual and binding nature of the marital relationship.

Similarly, the book of Proverbs warns against neglecting “the covenant of her God” in situations where marriage is abandoned (Prov 2:16–17). This recurring covenant theme throughout scripture emphasizes that marriage carries profound spiritual significance, rooted in God’s intention for lasting faithfulness and unity.

Genesis 2:24 sets the pattern for marriage as a union where a man joins his wife to become one flesh. Jesus affirms that God unites couples, making marriage more than a human decision (Matt 19:4–6; Mark 10:6–9). Paul refers to this union as a "great mystery" linked to Christ and the church, highlighting its theological significance (Eph 5:31–32).

Our role in God’s plan

            The Husband’s Role (Ephesians 5:25-33):

Sacrificial Love: Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church, placing their needs above his own.

Servant Leadership: To lead by example, providing spiritual and emotional security rather than acting as a dictator.

Cherishing: To nurture and care for his wife as his own body.

The Wife’s Role (Ephesians 5:22-24):

Submissive Partner: To respect and support her husband's leadership, as the church submits to Christ.

Compatible Helper: To be a complementary partner, helping her husband carry out God's calling.

Respect and Nurture: To cultivate a safe, encouraging environment in the home.

Mutual Responsibilities:

Mutual Submission: Both partners are instructed to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Sanctification: To help each other grow in holiness and reflect Christ's character.

Procreation & Ministry: To raise children in a godly home and work together in ministry.

Changing moral standards

People today marry for power, position and privilege. They marry and divorce and remarry as though it was nothing. This behavior was once only practiced by kings and rulers of nations to fortify alliances against threatening or opposing nations. Today our society has adopted this strategy of marriage as a normality. Even in our churches we encourage power couples as something that is acceptable.

Why we changed

Ignorance, misunderstanding, misrepresentation, and intentional resistance have each contributed to the way marriage is structured today. A lack of knowledge about the Bible has led many people to have difficulty understanding the truth. Disbelief has misled many. Our decision not to adhere to it has enabled us to pursue an independent course of action.

Consequences

            We must understand that God’s word is actionable. It tells us what we should and should not do. Not obeying God’s word concerning relationships has led to incorrect associations, and other wrongdoings. Marriage in the right context is honorable according to the scriptures. Further, the consequences of sin is death. Sin fundamentally disrupts your connection with God by creating a barrier that prevents genuine relationship. According to Isaiah 59:2, wrongdoing creates a separation from God, resulting in his presence being concealed and prayers not being heard.  This isn’t merely about God withdrawing, it’s about the incompatibility between sin and God’s nature. According to Habakkuk 1:13, God cannot look upon evil or wrongdoing. Psalm 66:18 suggests that if you cling to sin, the Lord will not hear your prayers.

Relational damage occurs at several levels. Claiming fellowship with God while walking in darkness is a contradiction, it’s self-deception (1 John 1:6). More profoundly, because of sin, you stand before God’s judgment as condemned, defiled, unable to obey, deserving of wrath, and spiritually dead.  Sin alienates you and makes you an enemy in your mind through wicked works (Col 1:21). Your sin doesn’t just affect what you do; it defines who you are—it’s the anti-God orientation that characterizes all humans outside of Christ, not merely what people do but who they are.

The effects reach further than just creating emotional distance between people. According to Romans 6:23, the consequence of sin is death; however, God provides the opportunity for eternal life through Jesus Christ. Because of sin, you are spiritually dead and bound for eternity apart from fellowship with God.  Yet this dire condition reveals why restoration requires God’s initiative—a mind set on the flesh is hostile to God and cannot submit to his law; those in the flesh cannot please God.

Resolution

Relationships can be complicated. Personal preferences and the like can cause conflicts with even the most forgiving of people. If we want our marriages to work God must be at the center of it. We must follow God’s plan as it was written in Genesis and expounded upon in Ephesians. The father’s will be that we live, love and turn all who will toward him. Marriage is symbol of God’s love for his creation. Producing Eve as the perfect companion for Adam is proof that God does not want us to be alone.   

Conclusion

Even in this chaotic world that we are in there is hope. The word of God has prevailed before the beginning of our rising from the dust. It will continue to be the standard by which men are judged. Marriage has been an institution since the first man claimed the first women as “bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh”. Since that time, we have seen many changes due to man’s instability (sin).  Nevertheless, there are still those that are following God’s plan and setting the example for others to follow. As Christians we must continue to challenge the wrongs and live in the word as followers of Christ.