Rules and no Relationship

House Rules

Growing up we had rules in our house. If you violated the rules you got in serious trouble

Table manners

Early school years I went to school from my Grand parents’ house.

G-mother would feed me breakfast and sit w/ me while I ate.

She was a stickler for manners

“Elbows off the table.”

“That’s too big of a bite.”

Drove me crazy!

So, when she’d turn her back, or go to refill her coffee, I’d cram as much as I could in my mouth.

Defiance. And, I could get thru w/ it faster.

No running in the house

I loved sports. If I wasn’t playing it, I was watching it.

Sat. afternoons my family knew I’d be okay for 2 or 3 hours if there was a game on tv.

They’d go shopping while I was watching.

During time outs of a football game, I’d tear thru the house and ram the sofa like I was being tackled by a linebacker.

Baseball games? I’d run, circle inside the house like I’m circling the bases and slide on the tile in the family room for an inside the park home run.

Curfew

When I was older, I had a curfew.

I was never far away from home. But, I never seemed to be able to get home by curfew. I’d only be a few minutes late.

But I was late. My mom would go off on me.

She’d cool down, the dust would settle. Life would return to normal.

Raised by a single mom, we had an ok relationship, but she was busy all the time. Tired when she was home.

My g-parents helped, but they were old and just couldn’t keep up.

So, we had rules. So we had rules...

I wasn’t a bad kid, didn’t get in a lot of trouble, but the rules didn’t confine me much.

If we didn’t have the rule, I couldn’t have broken it. But we did, so I did.

Looking back, I feel a little guilty, I took advantage of the situation. My mom was working hard and my g-parents were old. They loved me, but they just didn’t have what it took to keep me in line.

Raising my own kids made me more sympathetic.

When you don’t have much of a relationship, all you have are rules.

Parents who don’t have a relationship w/ their teenagers, church leadership who doesn’t have a relationship w/ members, govt. leaders/citizens, teachers/students, or God/people.

If there isn’t a personal relationship all you have are rules. And you can’t have enough rules to make people obey.

So, when we disobey we feel guilty. What do we do w/ the guilt? Over time, maybe it eases, but it’s still there.

But, if there’s no relationship w/ the authority, what’s our motivation to obey?

This is one of the biggest issues that Jesus’ death and resurrection addressed.

Prior to Jesus coming about all they had was rules. And very few cared to try to obey them b/c they couldn’t have a relationship w/ God.

So, as the people became more disobedient, the religious leaders would establish more rules to try to rein the ppl in.

No relationships, just rules. And rules don’t rein people in.

More Rules, More Problems

“As the law increased, sin increased.”

Romans 5:

Romans 5:20 NIV

The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more,

1 rule in the Garden

Adam and Eve had the entire garden and all its produce.

There were 2 special trees.

1 they could eat from: The tree of life. Kept them alive

1 they couldn’t: Knowledge of good and evil

It’s not that God wanted to keep them ignorant. But, it was for their own good.

His rules are for our good whether we bel it or not.

They had 1 rule. How long did it take for them to break it?

Don’t know, but probably not long.

W/ the knowledge of good and evil, they need a few more rules to stay out of trouble. So, when they came out of Egypt God have them 10

10 rules out of Egypt

Believe in no other gods but God

Don’t carve, mold, or create an idol to worship

Don’t misuse the name of God

Keep the Sabbath

Honor your father and mother

Don’t murder

Don’t commit adultery

Dont’ steal

Don’t lie

Don’t covet anyone else’s stuff

10 good rules to live by. Still, pretty simple and to the point.

And, in one of the great ironies of all history, when Moses came down the mountain w/ these and the people were involved in a drunken, adulterous, idol worshiping party.

They were violating at least 3, probably 8, and maybe all 10.

It was a huge mess. God was ticked off! But things settled down.

He created all the temple and worship rules, but they were subordinate to these 10. How he wanted to be worshiped and what it meant to believe IN Him.

Still, there were few that had any kind of relationship w/ God. So, all they had were rules and little motivation to keep them.

Now, rather than just violating 1, or even 10, every time a rule was established, it got broken.

It got worse and worse. B/C, none of the leaders had relationships w/ the people. So, to get them to obey they created more and more rules

By the time Jesus showed up on the scene, there were more than 600 rules.

600+ rules in c.1

Volumes and volumes of rules. So many that very few fully understood them all. The people gave up trying.

The Pharisees were the experts in the law and the Sadducees were the experts in applying all the laws.

This is what it came to.

You couldn’t pluck a gray hair: harvesting.

You couldn’t move your furniture: hoe a row.

They were absurd and cumbersome. No one could keep all the laws. Impossible.

But that’s all they had b/c no one had a relationship.

The Apostle Paul was in a unique position to try to figure this out. He was a leader among the Pharisees.

Part of the Pharisee training involved blind-folding one, having him throw a dart at the entire OT spread out on a wall, tell him the single word his dart hit, and he would have to recite the surrounding passage.

He knew the rules. And, even as a believer he tried to keep the rules. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t because all he did was focus on the rules.

Focus on the Rule, Break the Rule

Romans 7:7–8 NIV

What shall we say, then? Is the law sinful? Certainly not! Nevertheless, I would not have known what sin was had it not been for the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, “You shall not covet.” But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of coveting. For apart from the law, sin was dead.

Paul, as a Pharisee, had worked his way up the ladder and was in a leadership position, authority, highly paid, influential, and significant.

He gave all that up to become a follow of Jesus.

He became influential in the church, led ppl to Jesus, planted churches, taught and wrote a lot of the NT.

But he gave up his wealth.

So, now, as a young Christian who knows the rules, he tries to keep the rules by focusing on the rules.

“I won’t covet. I won’t covent. I won’t covet....”

Now, whatever you do, don’t think of pink elephants.

So, what happened? You thought of pink elephants.

Paul focused on the rule, tried to keep the rule, but only ended up breaking the rule.

He couldn’t shake the old habit of when he was a Pharisee and his entire focus was the law.

Romans 7:15 NIV

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

He knew it was bad. He didn’t want to do it. But since he was concentrating on the rules, he broke the rules.

He hated it. He felt guilty. He beat himself up for it.

He knew he shouldn’t do it, but he did it anyway. He couldn’t not do it.

What About Us?

The question for us tonight is, what is it we are trying so hard not to do that we end up doing anyway?

Then, b/c we’ve done what didn’t want to do, we know it’s wrong, we feel guilty and beat ourselves up for it.

And the guilt keeps coming back.

What is it?

{Pass out the cards}

I want you to take a minute and write down what it is that is dogging you that you feel most guilty about.

Make them anonymous.

We’re going to collect these when the service is over.

Jesus Had to Die

If we don’t have a relationship then all we have is rules.

Don’t eat from that 1 tree

Honor your parents

Don’t murder, steal, covet, lie.

Don’t work on the Sabbath.

Don’t move your furniture, pluck your hair.

Don’t run in the house, eat too fast.

Be in by midnight.

Nobody will keep the rules if that’s all we have.

This is why Jesus had to die.

As difficult as it may be to think that the reason Jesus died was whatever you wrote on your card, remember, Sunday’s coming.