Colossians 3:18-4:1

Household of Grace: Reflecting Christ in Our Relationships

Bible Passage: Colossians 3:18-4:1

Intro: Glory be to God. May the peace and blessings from our Lord Jesus Christ be multiplied to you this evening. It is a privilege to be here with you tonight and spend time in God’s word. If you have been with us any this semester, you know we have been taking our time going through the book of Colossians. I want to go ahead and invite you if you have your copy of God’s word to open up to Colossians chapter 3. If you have not been able to join us, I want to start our time by recaping what we have gone over. The book of Colossians was written by Paul while he was in prison to a church he had never visited. Paul only knew a few people in this church, but had heard of their faith in Christ. In many ways, this is an incredibly encouraging book. Colossians is a great example of the Gospel spreading to the ends of the earth. On the other hand, the church in Colossae is under attack from people who want to challenge the sufficiency of Christ. They argued that Christ is not enough believers needed to do all these extra things to secure their salvation. This is a very scary and dangerous thing. So, Paul writes this letter to correct the church and point them to the perfect Savior Christ Jesus, who is all we need. Paul has spent the first half of this book displaying Christ and the Gospel in all its glory. And as we begin to wrap up the book of Colossians, Paul leaves us with a section of application. This is basically his “So what” section. So if we do believe these things, that Christ is fully God and the very agent of creation which all things were made for His glory. And if His Gospel truly has the power to transform lives, and we have been buried with Christ in baptism and raised to walk in newness of life in Him, so what do we do now? How do we live lives that are reflective of this Savior and Gospel? Well, to find out the answer, I want to invite you, if you are willing and able, to stand with me as we read our portion of God’s word for tonight.

Colossians 3:18–4:1 “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.”

Thank you, you may be seated. And as you are taking your seat, I want to invite you to join me in prayer as we begin our time tonight. (Pray for the Lord to be glorified from our time together tonight and that He would display His Gospel to the hearts of all that He has gathered.)

Our passage tonight might come across as direct and may even rub some people the wrong way. Let’s be honest, none of us really like being told what to do. But I want to invite you that if we want to understand God’s word, we must stand under God’s word. What it says goes, no ifs, ands, or buts. And the passage we have is very clear. We must live lives that are reflective of the Gospel. Knowing it is great, but if we do not apply it to our lives, then I would ask the question, “Did we really believe it in the first place?” I came across a very sobering quote the other day from Thomas Goodwin that says, “Judas heard all Christ’s sermons.” -Thomas Goodwin. Banner Church, our obedience to Christ should be a chief concern of ours. That is the heart of what Paul is saying here: we must live lives that have been transformed by the Gospel. One of the ways Paul encourages us is to cultivate Christlike marriages.

1. Cultivate Christlike Marriages

Colossians 3:18-19

Paul opens this section of the letter by addressing the relationship between wives and husbands. This really opens up a section where Paul addresses the Christian household. In the first verse, 18, Paul discusses how wives are to submit to their husbands. I want to first make very clear that this does not devalue the role a wife plays in the marriage or household. In fact, I would argue that wives play a crucial part. Wives, by respecting and supporting their husbands, model the Church's relationship to Christ. This is of major importance. If we have been changed by the Gospel of Jesus, then we have been changed. A worldly perspective on marriage would push back against this notion. The world would love for you to feed your pride and not to submit to anyone. However, if you are a believer in Christ, both men and women, then you must submit to Christ with your life. And ultimately, your marriage is not about you. I would love to sit here and tell you that your marriage is about your own happiness or seeking your own desires and pleasures. But that would be a lie. Marriage is about reflecting the relationship between Christ and His church. In that marriage covenant, women get the blessing of reflecting the church, or in simpler terms, believers, who submit and live lives fully surrendered to Christ. In your submission, you get to play a part in reflecting the Gospel to a broken world that needs it. This is God’s design for marriage. That is why it is fitting to the Lord. And know that in your submission, you join with Christ, who fully submitted to the Father’s will. And for Him, that meant dying a death He did not deserve. And though for Him, it was painful, God was mightily glorified. Submission is not a lesser position. With that, Husbands also play a part in reflecting the Gospel in marriage. Husbands, by loving your wives, you emulate Christ's sacrificial love for the Church. This means when worse comes to worst, you would lay down your life for your wife. This also means that day by day, you lay your life down for your wife. You are reflecting Christ, and He gave His whole life for the church. Though your wife may submit to you, you must lead her well. You must put her interests far above your own. Husbands, you must love your wives. Love does not look like lording over them. They are submitting to you with confidence that you will lead them. Do not fail in this, for you are not just leading yourself astray but also your wife. Your wife is to be respected, cherished, and loved. You are to be like Christ to them. It takes both wives and husbands to build a healthy marriage. When both sides do their part in reflecting the Gospel, this dynamic fosters households that demonstrate mutual love and submission, pointing to the Gospel's transformative power. By embodying these roles, we have the opportunity to honor Christ and strengthen our relationships, witnessing to others the beauty of living under His lordship. This is such a concern throughout Scripture that you can find instructions for this in a lot of places. For example, read what Ephesians 5:22–33 says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” We ultimately do this because Christ changes us in His Gospel, we submit and do what He commands, and we love those who are made in His image. That same idea is at the heart of the next relationship we find in the Christian home, a Christlike relationship with children.

2. Christlike with Children

Colossians 3:20-21

Paul not only wants us to reflect the Gospel in our marriages, but also the relationship we have with our children if the Lord blesses us with them. Paul first addressed the children. This is something we can all fall under, because we all came from somewhere. I do think there is a unique challenge we have in this time in life. If you are a college student or a young adult, there is a good chance you might have felt some tension between you and your parents at some point. I know I went through that for a time in high school and college, and it is a time I am not proud of. Specifically, I would but heads with my mom more times than I would like to admit. And the harsh reality is that even though I thought I had some good reasons, my actions and the way I held my relationship with my parents were not Christ-honoring. And I am willing to bet that I am not alone in that. I know that because we are a prideful people. But look at what Paul commands of us here. He says that when we obey our parents in everything, then that pleases the Lord. Now, as a believer, I owe everything, my very life, to the Lord, so if this is pleasing to Him and I know this, then why would I not strive for that? The Lord has gifted me with wonderful parents. Why then would I let my pride stand in the way of honoring the Lord? What truly do I have to gain from strife with my parents? Now I understand that not everyone is blessed with great parents, and I realize that there are times when our parents are being sinful and are asking something of you that would be disobedient to the Lord. And in times like that, we must always submit to the Lord above all else. However, you also can not use this reason as an excuse when it is not the case. Paul’s point here is that when children obey their parents, it pleases the Lord, embodying Christ's obedience. Christ was obedient to the Father to the point of death. Christ was so obedient for the sake of honoring God the Father and for our salvation, so ask yourself, is the lot that you have drawn really that bad? You have forgiveness of your sins because of the obedience of the Son of God. Why do we want to complain so often about some of the simple requests our parents make? Paul also addresses the parents in this section. Additionally, parents are urged to avoid provoking their children, fostering an environment of understanding and love. Just as husbands are to be gentle and loving towards their wives, so too are parents not to use the authority they have over their children in a dishonoring way. Children are not to be provoked or discouraged but instead encouraged. I love how, in 1 Thessalonians 2:11–12, Paul describes what a Biblical parent looks like. Now in this context he is refering to the relationship he has with the church in Thessalonica, but I think the example is helpful for us tonight. It says, “For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.” This is the mark that we should strive for as parents. And truly, if this is the expectation for us as parents, it is much easier for children to submit and trust their parents. There will still be strife because we are still sinful, but we should still strive to leverage all of our relationships for the sake of the Gospel. In following these instructions, family relationships flourish, mirroring the nurturing and compassionate nature of Christ. These principles help form a household grounded in Gospel values, capable of drawing others toward Christ through the lived example of His teachings. In verse 22, Paul shifts gears and now addresses the relationship between slaves and their masters. Now, to address the elephant in the room, the Lord does not desire for anyone to be in the evil institution of slavery. God’s word is also not going to ignore the fact that there were slaves. Now, the word that is used here is also often translated as "servant”. Now praise God, slavery has been abolished. I do want to point out that what Scripture says here is absolutely applied to us. We all, to some degree, serve someone or have an authority in our lives. In our jobs or whatever it may look like for you, we are to commit to Christlike service.

3. Commit to Christlike Service

Colossians 3:22-25

It would be easy for us to say that we must only submit to the Lord. And above all else, we must. In fact, we must never submit to anything that would be dishonoring to the Lord. But God’s word right here is calling for us to honor our earthly masters. In fact, it goes a step further. We are to wholeheartedly seek to serve those above us, not just in a way that might look good and would please people when they are looking, but we must serve others with integrity. It is often the case that when our bosses come walking by, we sit up straight, grab the closest thing to us we can work on, and act like we have been working on it for hours. But that is not what the Lord is calling us to. Instead, we should seek to honor the Lord in our work. As if the Lord has personally given you the work at hand, we should seek to work hard to honor Him in it. And the reality is that the work we find ourselves in, whatever the vocation, does in fact come from the Lord. He has placed you where you are, doing the work that is given to you, so that you can glorify Him even in that. And take heart because the Lord sees the work that you are doing and knows that the reward we receive comes from Him, too. We are not justified by our works; we are justified by faith alone, but true faith is never alone, and it will produce fruitful works. Psalm 128:1–2 says, “Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you.” On the other side of the coin, if we fail in this obedience, the Lord also sees that and there will be consequences. The same goes for those we serve. If they treat us poorly, the Lord will see that. The Lord is a just God and will not show partiality. It says it here in Colossians, and it also says it in Romans 2:11: “For God shows no partiality.” So serve with confidence that if you do so to honor the Lord, He will be honored and will see it, even if it is not seen by our earthly masters. When labor is approached as work done for the Lord, it transforms mundane tasks into acts of worship. It also demonstrates the Gospel's deep impact in our lives. By embracing this attitude, the household becomes a tapestry of Christ's love and authority, visible in every action and relationship. The last thing Paul addresses is the masters. And this carries over into chapter 4:1. And what we see is that we should seek Christlike justice.

4. Christlike Justice

Colossians 4:1

Paul makes clear that masters, or anyone in authority, are called to just and fair treatment, reflecting Christ's righteousness and care. Just because you may have a position of authority in this life does not make you any better or exempt from justice. Instead, as believers, you should try to reflect the Love that God has given to you. You are in just as much need of His Grace and Mercy. What an opportunity to display this Grace and Mercy to those you have been entrusted with. Your position or career advancement is not for your comfort or leisure; in fact, your position has little to do with you at all and everything to do with Christ! If you are not reflecting Him, then is He even your Lord? While you may think you get to call the shots, ultimately, you too have a master, and His name is Jesus Christ. All creation is subject to Him. God the Father has placed Him above every other name, and one day every knee will bow to Him. I pray and plead with you, Banner Church, that you will willingly and joyfully bend that knee yourself. If you do not, then it will be bent for you. With that, I am convicted to tell you that if you are not a follower of Christ, now is the best time to cry out to Him. He loves you deeply and gave Himself for you for the forgiveness of your sins. And we desperately need this, as we are all sinners in need of saving. All you have to do is cry out to Him and confess your sins to Him, and He will forgive you and call you His friend and brother. Here, in just a moment, we are going to wrap up and turn to Him in prayer and song of praise. During that time, if you need someone to talk with and pray with, there will be a few of us in the back. We would love to pray with you. If you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, now is the time; do not harden your heart. Come and pray with us and let Christ save you. He wants to be your Savior, be saved today. Let’s pray.