Head and Heart: God’s Design for Men, Women, and the Church

As I have been thinking and praying about what to bring to this Fenwood church, two passages kept coming to mind: “do not forsake the gathering” (Hebrews 10:25) and “follow me as I follow Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1). Both of these are rich passages, but they are also sermons in themselves. As I have studied, I’ve found myself drawn more to 1 Corinthians 11:1. You never know—if all goes well tonight, maybe I’ll be able to come back and preach Hebrews 10 another time.

As I look out around the world, I’ve noticed that we tend to try to fix things using what I would call the pendulum effect. We find ourselves on one extreme and realize it is difficult, misleading, and sometimes even demeaning, so we try to swing everything back the other way. But instead of finding balance, we end up in the opposite extreme.

What was once common—limiting women’s rights and abilities outside the home, even to the point of harsh and unjust treatment—is no longer accepted. But now, in some cases, we have swung to the other extreme. In an effort to correct past wrongs—many of which most of us never personally committed—there are movements that attempt to tip the scales in the opposite direction. Where once white men may have been the preferred candidates for jobs, now a twenty-something, English-speaking white male who had no part in those past wrongs can be passed over in the name of “equity,” as though punishing a demographic today somehow balances the wrongs of yesterday.

I was talking to a pastor friend of mine who works in Yorkton but lives in Melville, and we were reflecting on how the church can fall into this same pattern. We get caught in one extreme, and instead of stopping at Christ—who is at the center—we swing all the way to the other side. And for a brief moment, as we pass by, we catch a glimpse of Jesus. That glimpse satisfies us just enough that we convince ourselves we are Christ-centered.

But the reality is this: Christ is standing at the center, and we are still on the swing—refusing to get off and actually stand with Him.

How does this relate to 1 Corinthians 11? Well, I guess you’ll have to join me on a little journey to find out. First, let’s read it:

1 Corinthians 11 NASB95

Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ. Now I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold firmly to the traditions, just as I delivered them to you. But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. Every man who has something on his head while praying or prophesying disgraces his head. But every woman who has her head uncovered while praying or prophesying disgraces her head, for she is one and the same as the woman whose head is shaved. For if a woman does not cover her head, let her also have her hair cut off; but if it is disgraceful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, let her cover her head. For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake. Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things originate from God. Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him, but if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her? For her hair is given to her for a covering. But if one is inclined to be contentious, we have no other practice, nor have the churches of God. But in giving this instruction, I do not praise you, because you come together not for the better but for the worse. For, in the first place, when you come together as a church, I hear that divisions exist among you; and in part I believe it. For there must also be factions among you, so that those who are approved may become evident among you. Therefore when you meet together, it is not to eat the Lord’s Supper, for in your eating each one takes his own supper first; and one is hungry and another is drunk. What! Do you not have houses in which to eat and drink? Or do you despise the church of God and shame those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I praise you? In this I will not praise you. For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus in the night in which He was betrayed took bread; and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “This is My body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” In the same way He took the cup also after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood; do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes. Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord. But a man must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not judge the body rightly. For this reason many among you are weak and sick, and a number sleep. But if we judged ourselves rightly, we would not be judged. But when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord so that we will not be condemned along with the world. So then, my brethren, when you come together to eat, wait for one another. If anyone is hungry, let him eat at home, so that you will not come together for judgment. The remaining matters I will arrange when I come.

Most of this, I feel like we do well with—you know, like for instance: “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” That saying is important. The people we look to must be imitators of Christ. If they bring doubt or question to Christ’s authority, or to the authority of the Bible, then we need to question that person’s leadership.

If we are like Christ, we will—as Christ did—bring all the glory and honor to God the Father, and we will bring His Word glory too through our actions and our reverence for it.

As we read this chapter, we know that the church of Corinth had asked Paul something. In verse 2, he praises the church for remembering him and holding firmly to the traditions just as he delivered them. Then, in the final verse of this chapter, he finishes his response to this particular question: “The remaining matters I will arrange when I come.” Other translations say, “I will give further directions when I come.”

That line always makes me think of when I was in the military, and the sergeant would be dressing us down while we stood at attention—his hand stretched out, pointing at us like a knife—and he would yell, “More to follow!” And you just knew there was going to be more.

It makes you curious what Paul said to the Corinthians when he arrived about this particular matter—but we do have a good idea of what he was addressing, and why.

Let’s give ourselves some cultural context. And to give credit where credit is due, John MacArthur’s commentary gave me this insight: during this time, numerous symbols were used to signify a woman’s subordinate relationship to men, particularly the relationship of wives to husbands.

Usually, the symbol took the form of a head covering, and in the Greco-Roman world of Corinth, that symbol was exactly that—a head covering. Similarly, in many Near East countries today, a married woman’s veil still signifies that she will not expose herself to other men—that her beauty and charms are reserved entirely for her husband, and that she does not seek even to be noticed by other men.

In the same way, in the culture of first-century Corinth, wearing a head covering while ministering or worshiping was a woman’s way of expressing her devotion and submission to her husband, and of demonstrating her commitment to God.

The problem, however, is that during this time the church of Corinth found themselves in the throes of a cultural war—one that involved many of the same situations we are dealing with today, particularly around women’s liberation and feminism.

Women would often take off their veils or other head coverings and cut their hair in order to look like men. This mirrors what is happening in our own culture today, where women demand absolute equality with men, and in some cases go as far as attacking the institution of marriage and the raising of children as unjust restrictions on their rights. Many would argue that these things restrict their bodily autonomy.

These women in Corinth asserted their independence by leaving their husbands and homes, refusing to care for their children, living with other men, demanding jobs traditionally held by men, wearing men’s clothing and hairstyles, and disregarding all signs of femininity.

We even see this outside of Scripture. There are stories—like the ancient story of a woman named Medea who lived in Corinth—she was deeply wronged by her husband. And instead of seeking what is right, she responds with destruction, hurting even innocent people. And what’s shocking is that some today would call her actions, that even saw some killed, strength.

But church—being wronged does not justify doing wrong. That’s not justice. That’s sin responding to sin.

It goes without saying that as the culture around them was waging war within itself, that same war outside the church began to seep into the church.

Now here is the reality: we need to look at the principle that is being brought into question by the church of Corinth. Because if we simply look at this and say, “this is one big cultural passage,” then we can throw away the whole chapter and forget about it.

But this chapter—at least verses 1–16—isn’t ultimately about whether or not a woman should cover her hair, or whether a man should have long hair. It is about the principle.

And the principle is clearly stated in 1 Corinthians 11:3: “I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.”

This principle is about God’s intended order of things.

Men must submit to Christ, and wives must submit to their husbands. This isn’t a one-off statement for the church in Corinth—this is something we see again and again throughout Scripture. Ephesians 5 immediately comes to mind. The principle has remained consistent throughout the entirety of the Bible, going all the way back to Genesis 3:16, where in the curse God reminded Eve: “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”

The problem goes back to what God said to Eve in the curse: “your desire shall be contrary to your husband.” Ungodly women can have a streak in them that refuses the idea of submitting to anyone. At the same time, ungodly men can be some of the most passive and submissive men out there. And men who seek to be “godly” but fail can be some of the most damaging to the faith.

An easy example is Jezebel and Ahab. Ahab was a weak, passive man who refused to take up his God-given responsibility—and look at all the trouble it got him into. And when a godly man, Elijah, stepped up to do what Ahab should have done—which was to confront what was out of control—Jezebel sought to kill Elijah.

It’s amazing how many weak, passive men allow dominating influences to attack God’s order simply because they want to avoid conflict. I’ve seen it happen—where a pastor respectfully calls out issues within a church, and someone, even unintentionally, begins to act in a way that tears things down, working against leadership through backroom conversations and parking lot gossip.

So when men fail, do women need to step up? Yes—sometimes. But they must also be willing to throw that responsibility right back where it belongs and say, “Thou art a bloody husband to me!”

One of my favorite stories is Moses on his way back to Egypt. On the journey, God stops him, and the Bible says, “the Lord sought to kill Moses.” It’s a shocking moment. Moses had neglected something essential—he had not fully obeyed God’s command regarding circumcision within his family.

But Zipporah recognizes what is happening.

She doesn’t hesitate. She takes a flint knife, acts immediately, and does what needed to be done. And then—this is the moment—she turns to Moses and says, “Thou art a bloody husband to me!” And the Bible says she threw the foreskin at his feet.

It’s a striking image. But the point is clear: that was his responsibility.

As if to say—that was your job. Step up.

The problem is that when most women step up to do the man’s job, the man often becomes increasingly lazy, and the woman becomes increasingly enamored with her newfound authority. Like Moses, men—not all men, but many—do their jobs only halfway, leaving their wives to pick up the slack. Eventually, the wives end up carrying the full burden, much like Jezebel’s dominance over Ahab, and the men become, in a sense, big babies—again, not all men, but left to our sinful ways, we are at risk of being like that.

The reality is this: with everything, there is God’s way, and there is our faulty attempt to follow God’s way. God’s way calls us into perfect submission, just as the Son submits to the Father. And it is important to understand that the Father is not tyrannical toward the Son, and the Son is not resentful toward the Father.

In our submission to Christ as our head, men, we are not called to rule over our wives with an iron fist, demanding that they serve us like slaves. Instead, as Christ is described in Philippians 2, we are to humble ourselves to serve our wives, and in serving them, we lead them. It is only through this kind of servant leadership that love is truly found.

And wives, yes, sometimes you do need to pick up the slack for us men—but do so as Zipporah did: willing to do what is necessary to serve and protect your family, while still looking at your husband and saying, “Thou art a bloody husband to me!”

Paul is pointing out in 1 Corinthians 11 that, even while a cultural “war” raged around them in what was then modern-day Rome and Greece, there is an order to things. When Paul says in verse 14, “Does not even nature itself teach that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him?” he is essentially saying, “In this culture, men who have long hair are acting like women—DO NOT BE AN AHAB!”

And when he reminds women in verse 5 that, “in this culture, a rebellious woman uncovers her head,” he might as well have added, “DO NOT BE A JEZEBEL!”

Verse 1 Corinthians 11:16 is worth digging into. It says, “But if one is inclined to be contentious, we have no other practice, nor do the churches of God.” Paul is saying that if you want to debate this, the reality is that for any church that calls itself a church of God, there is no alternative practice: the head of every man is Christ, and the head of a woman is a man.

He goes on to acknowledge that, on this matter, there will be disagreements and even factions. But the reason these factions exist, as he explains in verse 19, is so that those who are approved by God will be evident among you. Here is a truth: if Satan cannot get men to deny or disregard God’s Word, he will try to get us to misinterpret it through the influences of the surrounding culture—and these misinterpretations can carry us to extremes that God never intended.

It is a well-known fact that men have used these passages in the past to abuse their authority over women. The reality is this: if you abuse your authority over women—if you do not lead by serving and loving her—you are not being a godly man. You are not saying, “Follow me as I imitate Christ.” Instead, you are saying, “Do as I say, not as I do,” and you are nothing more than a wolf in sheep’s clothing, deserving to be cast out with the chaff and burned.

Even in his commentary John MacArthur points out that the mistreatment of women has often led to grave situations, both in society and, consequently, within the church. He states:

“In Greek and Roman societies, most women were little more than slaves, the possessions of their husbands, who often virtually bought and traded their wives at will. It was largely because of this inhumane treatment of women that feminism became so popular in the Roman Empire.”

It makes you think: if men had not abused Scripture to enforce their so-called “God-given” authority over women, perhaps the feminist movement would not have needed to exist in the Roman and Greek world, and perhaps it would not have needed to reform in our Western world.

Returning to our extra Biblical character, Medea speaks openly about the injustice women face—how they are treated unfairly, how they are trapped, how they suffer under men. And in many ways, she’s not wrong about the pain.

But again, instead of pursuing what is right, she responds with destruction. She turns to revenge, even harming innocent people.

Church, that’s the danger—seeing a real problem, but choosing a sinful solution.

If men loved their wives as Christ loves the church, our love would go far beyond mere willingness to die; it would extend to acting out the everyday ministry that Jesus lived while walking the seashores, wandering the wilderness, and moving through cities and towns.

Like Jesus, we must be the head of our wives in love. We must talk with her—but not just talk; we must listen. We must spend time with her—but not just spend time; we must cherish that time. We must pray with her—but not just pray with her; we must pray for her. We must walk with her—but not just walk; we must journey with her. We must be willing to care for her when she is sick. We must sit with her while she weeps—but not just sit; we must weep with her.

Men, if we truly loved our wives as Christ loves the church—if we fully took up our responsibility as husbands—our wives would not feel the burden of submission.

And wives, you need to be willing to look at your husbands, willingly lifting them into their role as heads of the household, submitting as Christ did to the Father’s will. When you must step up and do your husband’s job, don’t forget to look at him and say, “Thou art a bloody husband to me,” casting the responsibility back at his feet when you are able, while still submitting to the head God has placed over your life.

Paul reminds us that a man’s authority over a woman is a delegated and derived authority, given by God to be used for His purposes and in His way. Much like the Trinity, man, as a fellow creature, has no innate superiority over woman and no right to wield his authority tyrannically or selfishly. Male chauvinism is no more biblical than feminism; both are distortions of God’s design.

Perhaps this is why Paul so tactfully transitions into the Lord’s Supper. We know it is because this, too, was an area where the church of Corinth struggled—not in authority, but in unity. The Lord’s Supper calls us into submission to the will of God the Father, reminding us of the Son’s willing submission to bring glory to the Father and to accomplish His good and perfect plan of redemption for you and me. Maybe this is a good point for us to transition into communion.