Walking with a Limp, Becoming a Blessing
Genesis: Foundations of Our Faith • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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What would you give to live at peace with everyone? What if the cost was facing the truth about yourself, all your character defects, bringing those to God, experiencing the pain of Him stripping away your false self to reveal your true self? What if your true self walks with a limp, and that is the only way to be a blessing to anyone else?
Our text today teaches us that when we are humbled to learn our true self from God, we can live at peace with ourselves, and as far as it depends on us, with others.
Jacob has been living according to the identity his parents gave him. He has been grasping at heels his whole life, competing for his blessing. That has resulted in exile, and meeting his match in Laban. Now, he’s returning to make peace with Esau. But is he at peace with God or himself? What is Jacob’s starting place in his understanding of God, self, and others?
Jacob is beginning to learn who God is. Now, he’s returning to meet with God. But we will see that he is wrestling with a lingering question, is God for me? Not only that, he is returning to Esau. And he is wrestling with their broken relationship.
Jacob went on his way, and the angels of God met him. And when Jacob saw them he said, “This is God’s camp!” So he called the name of that place Mahanaim.
God is there, but they are still in two camps. They are not yet united. Is God on my side? Next, he sends messengers to Esau and they return with news that Esau is coming with four hundred men. That seems bad. Jacob’s response is twofold. First, he schemes. He divides his family into two camps, perhaps an unintentional symbolism of his problem. But second, he prays. His prayer reveals the tension that remains between him and God.
And Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O Lord who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your kindred, that I may do you good,’
I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant, for with only my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps.
Please deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I fear him, that he may come and attack me, the mothers with the children.
But you said, ‘I will surely do you good, and make your offspring as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.’ ”
As far as prayers go, this is a good one. He begins by focusing on God. Then he confesses his unworthiness of God’s grace and faithfulness. Then he confesses his fear and statement of his need. He asks for deliverance. Then he closes with a reminder of God’s promises.
But there is a lingering question, will God continue to be as kind and faithful as He has been in the past? Is God for me and my family?
So, Jacob’s reconciliation with Esau is all wrapped up with his relationship with God. He doesn’t realize it yet, but both of those are wrapped up in his own broken relationship with self. There is a clue that he is living with a false view of self in his message to Esau.
instructing them, “Thus you shall say to my lord Esau: Thus says your servant Jacob, ‘I have sojourned with Laban and stayed until now.
I have oxen, donkeys, flocks, male servants, and female servants. I have sent to tell my lord, in order that I may find favor/grace in your sight.’ ”
Jacob is measuring his worth in terms of his wealth and prosperity. And he believes Esau must measure him the same way. So far, their relationship has been defined by what Jacob can take from Esau. Jacob seems to think that if he can show Esau that he needs nothing from him, Esau will be willing to extend grace.
Even after he prays, Jacob goes into his old mode, scheming a plan. This one is all about protecting himself. He’ll send gifts ahead of him, then he’ll put his wives and children betwen him and Esau, then Esau will be buttered up enough to meet his brother.
Jacob is certainly making his reconciliation about material prosperity, but Jacob uses a word in verse 20 that shows he sees it as something more.
and you shall say, ‘Moreover, your servant Jacob is behind us.’ ” For he thought, “I may appease/make atonement him with the present that goes ahead of me, and afterward I shall see his face. Perhaps he will accept me.”
This theme will run through chapters 32 and 33. There is a blurring of Jacob’s reconciliation with Esau and what he truly needs, which is atonement with God. And both require him to reconcile the truth about himself.
This is what God does with Jacob next. He will initiate a wrestling match in which Jacob will come out knowing his true self, beloved of God, a wounded victor, ready to walk humbly with God and with others.
Fathers wrestling with their children is an essential element in child development. Studies on father-child relationships find that rough and tumble play reduces actual aggressive behavior, increases working memory, and they have found links between roughhousing and social competence, emotion regulation, and self-regulation. It also builds a bond of trust between the child with their father. The father welcomes opportunities for their child to test their strength against the limits of his mercy and power. It is an act of love.
We’ve all had nights that we have wrestled with God over things. Maybe you didn’t know it was God you were wrestling with. But the internal struggle was real. For some people, that wrestling with God in the dark can take a lot longer than one night. Many people have called this experience the dark night of the soul. This is a period of struggle that can last weeks, months, or years. God seems silent, maybe like He’s hiding from us, shut the door of heaven, or worse, actively afflicting our spirit. He seems to painfully strip away all the means of grace we had formerly relied on and our fear grows that we might remain in that condition permanently. But when you come through the other side of that dark night, God has stripped away your false self and you have learned your true identity, God’s beloved child. I no longer need the gifts God gives. He is enough, and it is enough that I am his beloved.
Jacob’s experience is a helpful picture of the dark night of the soul. Jacob is facing his worst fear, that Esau still wants to kill him. But in the face of that fear, he demonstrates the vigorous pursuit to win the blessing. He is so tenacious, God finally has to end it by a swift strike to the groin and puts Jacob’s hip out of joint. But Jacob clings on.
Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.”
When Jacob is finally ready in his wrestling with God to tell the truth about himself, God can show him who he is meant to be. My name is Jacob, “heal-grabber”, “trickster”, “deceiver”, “snake”. His identity had come from his ability to compete for prosperity and win at all costs. Coming to terms with the fact that he is a self-seeking snake is necessary if he is going to learn the limits of God’s mercy and power. God can work with someone like Jacob. There is little God can do with someone as apathetic as Esau. At least Jacob believes the blessings of God are worth pursuing. God can redeem that energy. He will no longer be called Jacob, but Israel. God welcomes children who have the honesty to wrestle with Him in their fear and trouble.
Jacob is learning that his identity and worth do not come from his prosperity. That was a false self and God has painfully stripped away his ability to compete. God has just crippled him. He will now walk with a limp, unable to outmaneuver anyone or outrun his problems. His identity and worth, his true self is bound to God and found in relationship with Him. God loves him, has grace for him, and will take care of him.
When you consider your own identity and worth, where does it come from? Is it given to you by others? Do you measure it by your achievement? Is it tied to your work or your abilities? What if all that was taken away? Who would you be at your very core? If everything that gave you worth, your job, your health, your ability to do for others, your accumulated wealth and status, was all taken away, would you still see your worth in God? Is it enough for you to be a beloved child of God? Your true self cannot be taken away by circumstances, other people, or even death. Your true self is found in God.
In learning his true self, Jacob learned something about God too. After God blesses him with a new name, Jacob asked him,
Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him.
I think he’s saying, “Do you think you can change who I am?” God is unchanging. That is why He can give us our true identity. His character and nature, His attributes, are unchanging. So, He is the north star to which our lives can be oriented. He is the center of gravity for our wandering natures. He is the consuming fire that will burn off all the unnecessary externals that hinder you from living as your true self, His beloved child.
This is a humbling experience. We confess our sin, our shame, our regret, our self-seeking nature. God hears our confession and reveals our true self, His beloved. Which is humbling. Humility is being truthful about ourselves, that we are in need of God and His grace, no more posturing, self seeking, self sufficiency. I am God’s beloved and that is enough.
Jacob comes out of this experience a changed man. He now walks with a limp physically, to remind him of the one he had been walking with spiritually. And what happens next demonstrates the change was real.
In chapter 33, Jacob moves from hiding at the rear, behind his wives and children, to the front, where he belonged, ready to protect them from Esau. Just the day before he had been bragging about his great wealth. Now,
He himself went on before them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother.
But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.
And when Esau lifted up his eyes and saw the women and children, he said, “Who are these with you?” Jacob said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.”
I am your servant. I am no longer competing with you. I am here to serve you. God has humbled him. More aware of the grace of God, he is ready to seek the grace of his brother. When we are reconciled to God through pur humility and His grace, we are ready to be reconciled to our brothers.
Jacob is no longer using his great wealth to leverage grace from Esau (32:5). He gives God and His grace credit for his blessings.
And their conversation makes it even more clear his perspective has changed. Jacob offers him the hundreds of animals he had sent as an atonement offering.
But Esau said, “I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself.”
“I already have plenty. I have a lot.” (But I could always have more.)
“No, please!” said Jacob. “If I have found favor/grace in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably/with grace.
Jacob has actually seen the face of God. And to see the face of God in the face of his brother is the grace he needed all along.
Please accept my blessing that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.” And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted it.
Here’s the difference God has made in Jacob’s life. We have two brothers that have been competing their whole lives for their parent’s approval, for first place in the family, for the blessing of their father, for the family fortune. Esau sees his possessions, and this gift from Jacob in the old terms. He compares himself to his brother in terms of wealth, status, power. I have a lot, which means I could always have more. Jacob now realizes that he can see the face of God in the face of his brother, and if he shares his blessing with his brother, he has peace. “I have all”, everything.
Jacob had learned to know God better through his wrestling. The first lesson was in his relationship with God. God was providing him an opportunity to make peace. When Jacob realized this man he was wrestling was the God he had been wrestling for so long, he found a desire for God in his heart. “Even if You wound me, I will cling to You. Even if you ask me to give away all I have to bless my brother, I will because You are enough.” Jacob becomes a picture of the wounded victor. He prevailed, not because he overcame God. He prevailed because in his wrestling, he learned to know the mercy and power of God, and made peace with him. He would rather be blessed by God and walk with a limp than victorious in his schemes.
The next lesson resulted from the first. He has learned humility. By knowing God, he has come to know himself. He has been able to speak the truth about his sin. Now, he can receive his true identity from God and be at peace with himself. Jacob has become Israel, a wounded victor. His victory comes not through a family fortune. It comes from the marks of his encounter with God. He no longer needs anything from his brother. God has been gracious to him, and he has all he needs in God. He can limp into his brother’s life in humility, seeing the face of God in his brother, prepared to serve and to bless, and make peace.
We wrestle with these narratives in Genesis. If they are morality tales, they are told all wrong from our perspective. From a human perspective, Esau is the moral one. He does everything to please his father. He obeys what he is told. He is the victim of his brother’s deceptions, and experiences righteous anger. A simple morality tale would tell us to be like Esau, always do the right thing to please your parents and God will bless you. But that isn’t what happens. Instead, God blesses the deceiver. The gospel is always messier than we would like.
I heard one commentator say, “We don’t like grace.” We would rather make it on our own. Esau is self-sufficient, powerful, and has no place for God. Jacob makes one misstep after another, but when he tells the truth about that, he makes space for the grace of God to work in his life. And after he has gone into exile, been wounded by God, he becomes a servant to his brothers, and a blessing to the world. And he becomes the picture of Jesus. Who becomes the ultimate wounded victor. Because He did not suffer for His own sin, but for Jacob’s, and mine, and yours. He wrestled with God in the night, knowing His identity as God’s beloved son, but He yielded to God willingly to share His blessing with us all.
Communion
Questions for Discussion
What is a highlight from your week? What has been heavy?
Were you able to apply anything from last week’s passage and what did you learn?
What do we learn about God in Genesis 32-33?
What seems to be the point of God’s wrestling match with Jacob?
Have you ever been through a dark night of the soul, or felt wounded by God? What was the result?
What do we learn about people, or ourselves, from our passage
What are some false selves we adopt? How do you describe your true self?
What is the difference between having plenty and having all you need? How have you learned contentment?
How will you respond to this passage?
With whom can you share this passage?
