Marriage
1 Peter 3:1-7
These words are addressed generally to all Christian wives, but with special attention to those women whose husbands are not believers in Jesus Christ. In the same way takes the reader back to something previously introduced. The manner of behavior is described with the words, be submissive to your husbands. Submission appeared first in 2:13 in reference to the believer’s response to authority and again in verse 18 in discussing the slave’s response to the master.
Opinions vary widely as to how these injunctions should be defined. One well-intentioned but misguided commentator says that “the meaning of the wife’s submission to her husband concerns the sexual relationship and should not be taken in a more general and oppressive sense” (Hillyer, 92). Such an interpretation not only violates the meaning of the word but also violates the context of this verse. Submission is best understood as “to voluntarily yield your rights or will to someone else’s wishes or advice, as an expression of love for that person.” Another spin on the term would be to define it as simply considering the needs of your husband and fulfilling them (Marshall, 99).
In all discussions related to submission, if the wishes, desires, or needs of the husband involve a direct violation of the Word of God, then submission does not apply. In such cases, to practice submission would involve violating the higher principle of obedience to God and his Word previously held out as the believer’s goal
Submitting oneself to another is the opposite of self-assertion, the opposite of an independent, autocratic spirit. It is the desire to get along with someone else. It involves being satisfied at times with less than what one may deserve or claim as a right. The goal of this type of behavior is to win over to Christ the non-believing husband. This occurs without words. This does not mean that a wife is never to speak, but rather that she is not to resort to constant arguments and nagging discussions. The husband will be more influenced by the behavior of his wife. This links this chapter to chapter 2, where verse 12 indicates that the non-Christian audience can be positively influenced for Christ as they observe the consistent and godly behavior of a believer.
In order for the “cheering” in the galaxies to continue, both husbands and wives must work at modeling the characteristics of effective marriage relationships. Do not draw the conclusion, however, that because wives receive six verses of counsel to only one for husbands that the responsibility of a husband is any less exacting than that of a wife. The apparent imbalance exists only because the situation that a believing wife found herself in during that cultural time frame was more difficult and because Peter’s counsel was so transforming that a more extended discussion was needed.
Husbands should be considerate as they relate to their wives. This word (gnosin) carries the meaning of “wisdom and understanding.” Husbands should approach their marriage relationship intelligently. They are to live with their wives according to knowledge, not fantasy. Marriage is a real-life relationship, not a soap-opera drama. To live with your wife and demonstrate wisdom suggests a deep desire to understand your wife, to get to know her at more than just a surface level. It suggests a sensitivity to her needs and a desire to respond to these needs knowledgeably. In many ways, this sounds like submission, although the language is different. It hints at the concept of mutual submission
Finally, a husband’s prayers will be hindered if this model is not adopted. Hinder means “to interrupt.” Some interpreters suggest that this means that the husband’s prayers are prevented from reaching their destination with God. A more likely understanding of “hinder” represents a more practical interpretation. A husband who treats his wife in the wrong manner will himself be unfit and unable to pray, not to mention that he will likely have little inclination to pray. To put it another way, a husband’s spiritual health depends, in significant measure, on the way he treats his wife
