Walking With, Ø Apart

Me

When my friend Kyle Isabelli lost his daughter, Sophie June, in a stillbirth

I had no category for that kind of pain

I couldn’t imagine it

Kyle wrote this after walking through that deep loss,

“It’s a phrase we have heard from many people,’ I can’t even imagine.’”

And I understood it immediately, because I’ve said that before

I think we all have

It feels compassionate, and empathetic

But he goes on to say something that really stuck with me

“But instead of not imagining, let’s imagine”

And that,

That convicted me

Because what happens a lot of times is

“I can’t even imagine”

can become a convenient way to keep our distance

Because stepping in would mean getting uncomfortably close

It would mean sitting in pain we can’t fix

Feeling things we would rather avoid

So instead of stepping into the messiness, we keep our distance

A number of years ago, I reached out to Kyle to reconnect

I had always respected him, even back in high school,

As someone who loved God deeply

We had not really stayed in touch consistently,

but I felt like I should reach out

So we started getting together semi-regularly

And not long after that, his life became marked by deep suffering

He and his wife walked through multiple miscarriages

And eventually, that stillbirth

And I remember thinking

“I can’t even imagine”

But this time I didn’t step back

I was challenged by his openness

By his honesty in his brokenness

And certainly by what he wrote

Instead of keeping my distance

I chose to try and walk with him

We would meet and reminisce,

There was laughter, tears, prayer, and encouragement

Sometimes we would just sit in the heaviness of life

And over time, something started to happen

We weren’t just talking

We were walking through life together

We were able to encourage each other as pastors

Encourage each other in our faith

And blessed to even walk with each other through really difficult seasons

Including times when both of our wives were going through deep struggles with depression

I realized something in that season

He did not need me to fix anything

He did not need me to have the right words

He just needed someone to walk with him

And later, when my brother passed away

One of the first people to reach out to me was Kyle

The same person I had walked with in his grief

Now walked with me in mine

I did not need him to fix anything either

We didn’t fix each other’s pain

We just refused to let each other walk through it alone

And in that blogpost, Kyle points to Job’s friends,

Who sat with him in silence, because they saw how great his suffering was

I think that’s what we’re often missing

It is easy to say, “I can’t even imagine,” and step away

It is much harder to imagine, to stay

and to walk with someone through the dark times of life

We

And moments like those are more common than we like to admit

Moments where someone is hurting

and we don’t know what to say

So we say, “I can’t even imagine”

And while it may be true, it can become a convenient way out

It becomes a way to step back

Because we don’t want to say the wrong thing

We don’t know how to fix it

We don’t want to sit in something we can’t control

So instead of stepping into the messiness, we keep our distance

We stay safe

We stay comfortable

And we convince ourselves that distance is wisdom

But what if following God

Doesn’t lead us away from people’s pain, but into it

When we come to Daniel 9, we see something quite different,

Something that might even feel uncomfortable

Daniel looks at the brokenness of his people, and he doesn’t step back

He steps in

Daniel is reading the Scriptures, particularly Jeremiah

He realizes why Israel is in exile

Their sin

Their rebellion

Their failure

And so he prays

But listen to how he prays

He doesn’t say

“They sinned”

He says

“We have sinned”

Even though Daniel was faithful, he refuses to distance himself

He identifies with them before God

He refuses to separate himself from them

We say

“I can’t even imagine”, and step back

Daniel sees the same kind of brokenness, and says “We”

And this is where Daniel 9 confronts us

Because when Daniel sees the brokenness of his people

He doesn’t explain it

He doesn’t distance himself from it

He brings it before God

And what you see in this prayer

Is what it looks like to walk with people before God

God

See Clearly (v.1–3)

Daniel begins by reading Scripture

Specifically, The prophet Jeremiah

And as he reads, something clicks for him

He realizes that what they are experiencing is not random

It is not bad luck

It is not just political circumstances

It is exactly what God had already said would happen

Jeremiah had spoken about the exile

That it would last seventy years

That this was discipline for their sin

And at this point in Daniel’s life, He is in his 80’s

He has lived through the entire exile

He has seen kingdoms rise and kingdoms fall

He has walked faithfully and blamelessly with God for decades

And after all these years, what is he doing?

He is still going back to God’s Word

He is still letting it shape how he sees everything

Not through his emotions

Not through speculation

But through God’s Word

Daniel isn’t just observing what is happening around him

He is seeking God in it

He comes to God’s Word with humility

with urgency, and even with prayer and fasting

Daniel continues to model what abiding looks like

It’s not having all the answers

It’s bringing everything to God

and letting His Word shape how we see

Maturity doesn’t move you past God’s Word

It drives you deeper into it

How we come to God in these moments, shapes how we respond

When we don’t come to God rightly in these moments

We tend to step back

We misunderstand what’s happening

And we distance ourselves

But when we come to God, and let His Word shape how we see the circumstances around us,

It begins to change how we respond

And this is where we begin to see what abiding actually does

Abiding leads us to walk with others

And for Daniel, seeing clearly leads him to prayer

It leads him to confession

It leads him to step towards brokenness, not away from it

And this is where it connects to us

Because many times, we don’t come to God this way

We stay in our own assumptions

Our own comfort

Our own desire to avoid what is difficult

But, when we stay there,

It becomes very easy to step back

To keep our distance

To say, “I can’t even imagine,” and leave it there

But Daniel comes to God earnestly

He lets God’s Word shape how he sees what’s happening around him

And instead of stepping away, or pointing the finger at others,

He brings his heart and his people before God

And when Daniel brings his heart and his people before God

He doesn’t start by asking for anything

He starts with confession

Confess Honestly (v.4–14)

And when Daniel brings his heart and his people before God

He doesn’t start by asking for anything

He starts with confession

He says

“We have sinned”

Not “they”

“We”

“We” are the people you belong to

“They” are the people you keep your distance from

That is shocking, because when you look at Daniel’s life

We’re not given any clear indication of him doing these things!

Has Daniel not lived the life of faithfulness we just read about in chapters 1–6?

So why would he confess sin he never did?

But Daniel knows the Scriptures

He knows the law of Moses, which we can look back and see clearly in Deuteronomy 28

Where God outlines the blessings and curses of the covenant

and those consequences included exile

And Daniel is part of that covenant people

In fact, he’s one of the few people in Scripture where nothing negative is said about him

And yet, He still says

“We have sinned”

He doesn’t distance himself

He doesn’t stand over his people

He stands with them

He identifies with them before God

Daniel says

“We have sinned

We have done wrong

We have acted wickedly

We have rebelled”

Over and over again Daniel includes himself

And this is where Daniel confronts us

Because we live in a culture that is deeply individualistic

We think in terms of:

My faith

My choices

My relationship with God

And there is truth in that

We are each responsible before God for the choices we make

But that is not the whole picture

Because sin never stays contained to the individual

It shapes and warps communities

It shapes and warps cultures

It shapes and warps people around us

And Daniel understands that

So he doesn’t say

“That’s their problem”

“I’ve shown up for 70 years, showing what godly living in Babylon looks like! It’s your problem now!!!”

He says

“This is our problem”

And this is where our theme of abiding pushes against how we naturally think

Because we tend to follow Jesus on our own

We keep our faith personal

We confess privately

We deal with things individually

But Daniel shows us something different

Abiding is not something we can do alone

It forms us into a people

Who don’t stand apart, but who stand with

Even in confession

Even in brokenness

Even in sin

Not to excuse it

but to bring it honestly before God

Now, this doesn’t mean you and I are responsible for everything everyone else has done

But it does mean we refuse to distance ourselves

from the brokenness around you

We don’t step back

We step closer

We carry the burden and brokenness with them

And we bring it before God together

That’s what Daniel is doing

He is not just confessing his sin

He is carrying his people to God

Even if no one else would, Daniel would

After all, who better to do it than Daniel,

One of the godliest people in all of Israel

Plead for Mercy (v.15–19)

And after Daniel sees clearly, and confesses honestly

He pleads for mercy

He turns to God and says

Lord, hear

Lord, forgive

Lord, pay attention and act

Do not delay

And notice what he doesn’t say

He doesn’t appeal to their goodness

He doesn’t point to their track record

He doesn’t say

“God, look at all the things we’ve done right”

Instead, he says

“We are not presenting our supplications before you because of our righteous deeds but because of your great compassion”

The Message has a very insightful translation choice of v.17

So listen, God, to this determined prayer of your servant. Have mercy on your ruined Sanctuary.

Act out of who you are, not out of what we are.

Daniel knows they have no leverage

They have no argument

They have no righteousness to stand on

All they have is the mercy of God,

And that is enough

And this is where everything comes together

Because Daniel doesn’t just see clearly

And he doesn’t just stand with his people

He brings them to God

This is what abiding produces

Abiding leads us to walk with others

Daniel carries their brokenness

And places it before the only One who can do anything about it

This is what it looks like to walk with others before God

Not just to sit with them

Not just to feel with them

But to bring them to God

To pray for them

To plead for them

To ask God to move on their behalf!

It is one thing to care about someone

It is another thing to carry them before God

It is one thing to say

“I’m sorry you’re going through this”

It is another thing to go to God on their behalf

And ask Him to act

To ask Him to show mercy

To ask Him to restore

And this is where abiding continues to shape us

Because abiding doesn’t just keep us close to Jesus

It draws us into His heart for others

We begin to care about what He cares about

We begin to carry what He carries

We begin to pray the way He prays

And we bring people before God not because we have the answers

but because Jesus does

And this doesn’t mean we always know what to say

It doesn’t even mean we say the right words all the time

It doesn’t mean we always pray perfectly

But it does mean we refuse to leave people in their pain alone

Here is the incredible thing

God answers Daniel

Before he even finishes praying, God sends a messenger

and tells him

“You are greatly treasured”

And God reaffirms that restoration is coming

Daniel may not see it fully but God is already moving toward it

Because that’s who God is

He is merciful

He is faithful

He keeps His promises

Which means when we bring people to God in prayer,

We are not bringing them to silence

We are bringing them to a God who hears

A God who responds

A God who restores

That is what Daniel does

He sees clearly

He stands with

and he cries out for mercy

So what does that look like for us

If this heart for others is what abiding produces

If this is what it looks like to walk with others before God

Then how do we actually live this out?

This is what we’ve been seeing in this passage all along,

Abiding leads us to walk with others

You

So what does that look like for us

If this is what abiding produces

If this is what it looks like to walk with others before God

Then how do we actually live out

Abiding leads us to walk with others

1. Move toward, not away

For some of us the first step is simply this

Don’t step back

Move towards people

When someone is hurting

When someone is struggling

When someone is walking through something you don’t understand

Don’t settle for

“I can’t even imagine”, and leave it there

Move toward them

Sit with them

Listen to them

Be present with them

You don’t have to fix it

You don’t have to have the right words, or say anything at all

You just have to be there

Because abiding leads us to walk with others

In the way that Jesus walks with us

2. Stand with, not above

For others of us this is where God may be pressing a little deeper

It’s not just moving toward people

It’s refusing to stand above them

It’s choosing the language of “we”, instead of “they”

Not distancing ourselves

Not saying

“That’s their problem”

But recognizing, we are part of a broken people

Our society, our church, our families, our friend groups, all of them

And again, this does not mean

You take responsibility for sins that were done to you,

Or sins you did not commit

But it does mean you don’t separate yourself

From the brokenness around you

You stand with those around you, even through difficult and sinful times

Not excusing the sin, but bringing it honestly before God together

Because abiding leads us to walk with others

To bear our burdens together, and to build God’s kingdom of redemption together

3. Bring them to God

And finally, this is where it moves even deeper

We don’t just move toward people

We don’t just stand with them

We bring them to God

We pray for them

We plead for them

We carry them before the Lord

Not because we have the answers

But because Jesus does

Some of you are really good at being present

But you cannot stop there

Daniel doesn’t stop there

He models what it looks like to bring his people before God

This is where we can see the gospel clearly

Because Daniel points us to something greater

Daniel stands with his people

But Jesus goes even further

Jesus doesn’t just stand with us

He stands in our place

He takes our sin upon Himself

And He brings us before God

So that our sin can actually be forgiven

So that we can actually be restored

So if you are here, and you are carrying sin, shame, or guilt

Don’t stay at a distance

Come to Jesus

Bring it to Him

And that simply means this

You talk to Him

You pray

You come honestly, and authentically

You don’t hide it

You don’t clean it up

You bring it into the light

Because He is the one who has already dealt with sin

He is the one who shows mercy

He is the one who restores

And that is offered today if you would simply come

And He will not turn you away!

Now for others of you, this is your next step

To take the people in your life, their pain, their struggle

their brokenness and bring it before God in prayer

Because when we do that, we are not bringing them to silence

We are bringing them to the God who hears

the God who responds

the God who restores

This is what abiding produces when it is lived out

A heart like Daniel, and a heart being made to be more like Jesus’

We don’t stand apart

We walk with

We move toward

We stand with

And we bring people to God from a deep love of them

Come to Jesus

Abide in Him

And let Him form this same heart in you

So we might show the love of Jesus, by walking with others in their highs and lows